Allure (Forbidden #1)

by Michelle Betham

  ‘You have to be sure that you can live with the person I was, Neal.’

  I look at her, her beautiful face made all the more ethereal in the moonlight. And I don’t say anything. I don’t think I need to.

  ‘I was an escort. For ten years. I went out with men for money. I fucked them for even more money. So many men have touched me, Neal. So you need to be sure…’

  ‘I was one of those men, Kira. The kind you’ve spent ten years meeting and sleeping with and accompanying on fake dates. I was one of those men. So I’m sure, OK, baby? I can live with anything you put out there, darlin’, believe me.’

  ‘I just think…’

  ‘You think what, Kira? That because you spent so long doing what you did you don’t deserve to find anything real? You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live again.’

  ‘I’m just… I’m confused, Neal. And everything’s happening so fast I…’

  ‘Let’s just grab it and run, Kira. How about that, huh?’ I turn to face her, and I’m serious now. I’m fucking serious. I’m sick of the messing around, tired of the doubts that don’t matter; tired of waiting for this to start. ‘Let’s just grab whatever the hell this is and fucking run.’

  She smiles, and it starts off small at first, as though she still isn’t sure but then it widens, until her beautiful face is transformed and I’ve got her. I know I have.

  I reach out and touch her cheek, leaning in to kiss her so gently I barely touch her, but I know she likes that, to begin with. So I go in again, kissing her a little harder this time, and then it’s full-on mouth-to-mouth, and she’s in my arms and I’ve got her.

  ‘I’m not asking you to come with me to Mars on a one-way trip, Kira. I just want you to come home with me, and let’s see if we can make some kind of life together. It really doesn’t have to be so hard.’

  She runs her fingers through my hair and I love it when she touches me like this. ‘What kind of life were you thinking of, handsome?’

  I grin, and she smiles, and all of a sudden the world is a brighter, happier place and I’m free for the first time in fucking years – free from the guilt and the pain and the denial. ‘I’m kinda hoping for a wild and crazy one full of fucked-up sex and nights where we don’t sleep at all.’

  ‘You’ll never hold down a job with a lifestyle like that, Mr Cannon.’

  ‘Who said anything about working?’

  She laughs, and because her mouth is touching mine when she does that I feel it vibrate right through me. And it’s beautiful. ‘Well, if it’s fucked-up sex you want, I’m your girl.’

  ‘Oh, baby, I know you are,’ I groan, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this. The crazy shit going on in my head right now is off the freaking scale! ‘Seriously, Kira…’

  ‘You telling me you weren’t being serious about fucked-up sex and nights where we don’t sleep? Because, I was thinking of bringing my extensive costume-play wardrobe with me, although, I’m not sure customs will let everything through…’

  Oh, Jesus, she is killing me! Again. She’s killing me!

  ‘I’m being serious, darlin’.’

  ‘Good,’ she whispers, kissing me gently, and my skin breaks out in a million goose bumps.

  I take her hand and kiss her fingers before looking into her eyes. All those barriers, they’re down now. It’s so clear to see, her expression is different – like a weight has been lifted. She was beautiful before, but now she’s just impossibly so. ‘We can be together, work together, steal moments alone throughout the working day to ease that sexual frustration I know we’re gonna be feeling. We can do all of that, Kira, if you come with me.’

  ‘Work together?’

  She frowns, and I smile again. I’m finding it hard to stop smiling at the minute, if I’m honest. Today has been a freaking blast from start to finish. ‘Remember that role-playing day we had? Here, when you came to work with me…’

  ‘I remember.’ She’s smiling too, because that day is hard to forget.

  ‘Let’s do it for real, baby.’

  ‘You want me to be your assistant?’

  ‘My apprentice.’

  ‘Do you want me to wear panties?’

  I laugh, and she laughs too, and it’s the most beautiful sound. ‘Maybe. Some of the time.’ I kiss her again, because I fucking love kissing her. She tastes amazing, and her mouth is so soft and warm. I just love kissing her. ‘I really am being serious, Kira.’ Because I am. I want her to work with me. She’ll be great for business. She picks things up fast, I can teach her so much, and it’s a way I can be with her all the time. It’s a way in which she can leave the world she once lived in behind and start again. With me. ‘I want you to come home with me and let’s do this.’

  ‘OK.’

  Seriously, I really can’t keep the smile off my face now. I think it may be living there permanently. ‘OK?’

  ‘OK.’ She laughs, and again it’s the most beautiful sound. ‘That’s what you want me to say, isn’t it?’

  ‘Well, yeah, you know it is but… it has to be what you want, too, Kira.’

  She moves in closer, taking my face in her hands, her eyes staring deep into mine. ‘It is what I want, Neal. I mean, you put up a pretty good argument there. What was there not to like?’

  I freaking love this woman! ‘We’re going to New York?’

  ‘Yeah. I guess we are. We’re going to New York.’

  Twenty-Six

  Kira

  ‘I can’t believe you’re going. I mean, I’m happy for you, angel, I really am, but I still can’t believe you’re going… I can’t stop crying… Benni, pass me another tissue, will you?’

  Benni pulls a packet from his jeans pocket and throws it at Joey. I smile, because even though I know he means it when he says he’ll miss me, I also know he’s acting the drama queen, too. But that’s why I love him. And that’s why I’ll miss him a million times more than he’ll miss me.

  ‘My baby girl’s flying the nest.’

  ‘Joey, stop it. Benni, tell him, will you?’

  ‘Stop acting the drama queen, Joey.’

  ‘You two are no fun.’ He looks at my case lying open on the bed. I’ve only put a couple of things in there so far, and if I’m honest I’m reluctant to take too much. A lot of the clothes I have, I’m not sure they’re gonna cut it over there. Neal’s told me I can have whatever I want, but I’m not comfortable taking his money. Sometimes I feel a bit too much like Julia Roberts in a real-life ‘Pretty Woman’ scenario, and it isn’t like that. I don’t need his money. I have enough of my own. I mean, I’m not a millionaire by any stretch of the imagination, and I don’t even know if Neal is. But ten years of building myself up into one of the region’s most popular escorts meant I could practically charge what the hell I liked and men wouldn’t bat an eyelid when it came to paying it. It meant I’ve built up quite a decent amount of cash that would last me a good few years before I’d need to think about finding another source of income.

  ‘What time’s your flight tomorrow, Kira?’

  Benni’s voice cuts into my thoughts and I look up at him. ‘Sorry, I… half past three. The flight, it leaves at half past three.’ Saying it out loud makes it frighteningly real, because it is. It’s real. It’s happening.

  ‘Shouldn’t you be almost packed by now then, angel?’

  I sit down on the bed and run my fingers over the material of the dress I’ve just put in the case.

  ‘Oh God. She’s having second thoughts,’ Joey gasps.

  I raise my gaze and roll my eyes at him. ‘I’m going to be having second thoughts for the foreseeable future, OK? And I’m not afraid to say that. This is big. What I’m doing, this is really big. Who wouldn’t have second thoughts?’

  Joey sits down beside me while Benni starts packing my jewellery into a box. ‘Well, I was going to ask you if you’re really sure about this, Kira, but…’

  I take his hand and smile at him. I can’t tell him how much I’m really going to miss him
because it’ll make me cry, and then he’ll start crying and it’ll just turn into one big emotional mess. I don’t need that. And neither does he. He has Benni now, and the Bam-Bams family. He’s going to be fine. ‘I’m excited, Joey. I mean, yeah, I’m nervous and scared because I still don’t really know what it is me and Neal even have, but, I’m excited. Everything I’m scared or nervous about is exciting. Do you understand?’

  He squeezes my hand and smiles back, kissing my cheek. ‘We’ve always got Skype.’

  I laugh, and I know we’re going to be OK. Joey and me, we’ll always be family. We’ll never lose what we have, no matter how far away we are from each other. He’ll always be the most important man in my life.

  We all look towards the door as Neal walks in, and the sight of him actually takes my breath away. He looks beautiful with his dark hair just slightly mussed-up, probably due to the breeze outside, his blue eyes brighter than I’ve ever seen them before, his skin tanned against the pale blue shirt he’s wearing, the sleeves rolled up over his forearms – forearms that were holding me close and keeping me steady as we had sex on the kitchen countertop just a couple of hours ago. And if Joey found out he’d be disinfecting for days. I know he spends all his time at Benni’s now, more so since Neal and I got back from Manchester, but this place is still half his. We bought it together, we shared it for so many years. It’s our home. And he’s a total clean freak, so sex in the kitchen isn’t something he’d be happy about it. But as far as I was concerned, it was pretty damn hot!

  ‘Y’all waiting for me or somethin’?’

  I feel my stomach dip and dive as he lays the Texan accent on thick, because he knows what it does to Joey. And he has every idea what it does to me, so if he’s after more sex then he’s probably going to get it, I’m that weak. And the fact he’s learnt how to wind Joey up in such a short space of time makes me want him even more.

  ‘Hey, handsome.’ I swallow down the lump in my throat as I stand up and go over to him, straightening the collar of his shirt, which didn’t really need straightening, I just want to touch him.

  ‘Hey, beautiful.’

  He circles my waist with his arm and pulls me in for a deep, dirty kiss that I feel from the tips of my toes to the top of my head; every inch of my skin is breaking out in goose bumps as his hand fans out in the small of my back and I curse the fact I have to go out soon. But I want to see the girls. I need to say goodbye. I need to let them know that fairytales can happen. I need to tell them to live their lives and not let them stagnate because you’re afraid to face up to something you should have faced up to a long time ago.

  ‘I think we’re in the way here,’ Joey sighs, rubbing my shoulder as he walks past, and I break away from Neal to hug him. ‘You take care, angel, OK?’

  ‘I’m going to say goodbye, Joey, that’s all. I’ll be fine. Sad, but fine.’

  He looks at Neal, who’s got his hands in his pockets and a look on his face that makes me want to throw him down and ride him hard.

  ‘You look after her, Blue Eyes. You hear me?’

  ‘It’s a done deal, Joey.’

  ‘She’s not as tough as she looks, that’s all I’m saying. I’ll see you both tomorrow, for proper goodbyes… Jesus, Benni, where did I put those tissues?’

  I wait until I hear them head downstairs before I turn back to face Neal. ‘I don’t need looking after.’

  ‘I never said you did.’ He jerks his head back toward himself and smiles, holding out his hand and I take it, letting him pull me closer. ‘What’s gonna make you sad?’ he asks, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

  ‘I’m saying goodbye to some of the agency girls. Closing that door for good.’

  ‘And that makes you sad?’

  I touch his mouth with my fingertips, because sometimes I need to remind myself that he’s real. ‘Yeah. It does. But they’ll survive without me. That world will keep on turning.’

  He kisses me, and that crazy spark ignites again, filling me with that familiar burning need for him. And I don’t ever want that to die, in fact, I’m going to do all I can to make sure it stays bright and alive.

  ‘That world will keep on turning,’ I whisper, staring up into his eyes. ‘While mine’s about to get a hell of a lot more exciting.’

  He smiles again, and I begin to realise how lucky I really am. ‘You don’t know the half of it, beautiful.’

  ‘Promises, huh?’

  He winks, and I lose all control. ‘Just wait till I get you home.’

  We both burst out laughing, and he picks me up in his arms and swings me around and I hold on to him as an overwhelming happiness floods over me. I kind of wish I didn’t have to go out now. But I need to end a chapter of my life, before this new one can begin.

  He puts me down and kisses me slowly, and I bury my fingers in his hair and press myself against him, feeling the heat between us grow stronger with every move of his lips on mine. ‘I’ve really got to go now,’ I groan, but I don’t put up that much of an effort to pull away from him.

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah. Really.’

  He kisses me again, and I know that if I don’t make a move now I’ll never leave. And I need to do this. I need to know I can really walk away from the warped kind of life that’s kept me safe for so long.

  ‘I’ll see you later, OK?’

  I cup his cheek and smile, running my thumb over his slightly open mouth and I ache to just stay here and continue kissing it; kissing him, until our mouths are numb and we can’t take any more.

  He smiles too and I let my stomach dance and leap around because I like the feeling. It was once unfamiliar to me, but now I feel it every day and I can’t ignore that. I can’t ignore what it means. ‘I’ll be here.’

  I reluctantly pull away, grab my bag from the bed and make for the door.

  ‘Kira?’

  I swing around to look at him, and he takes my breath away all over again, he’s so beautiful.

  ‘This is what you want, isn’t it? I haven’t forced you into something you’re really not comfortable with, have I? Because if…’

  ‘No, Neal, you haven’t forced me into anything. And yes, this is what I want.’ I walk back over to him and kiss him quickly, sliding an arm around his waist because I just want to touch him one more time before I go. ‘You’re what I want, alright? You, and that crazy life we’re going to live.’

  He grins and I melt inside. Yeah. He does that to me, and I never thought I’d ever be the kind of woman who’d melt at the sight or the thought of any man, but Neal Cannon’s made me realise that, maybe, I wasn’t always the woman I thought I was; the woman I thought I needed to be.

  ‘Later, baby.’

  I laugh again, and finally let go of him.

  We’re going to be OK.

  We’re going to be better than OK.

  Together, we’re going to be fucking incredible!

  Neal

  I watch her leave the bedroom, then turn to look at the case she’s left open on the bed. She hasn’t put a whole lot in there yet, but that’s understandable. I’m asking a lot of her here, I know that. I’m asking her to uproot herself from everything she knows; her friends, her unconventional family, her entire life. I’m asking her to change everything, because I can’t go home without her. Everything we talked about the other night, I meant every word. She’s gonna come work with me, and we’re gonna make the best team, and when we’re not working we’re gonna continue to have hot, wild sex and those nights I promised her where we never sleep. That’s all gonna happen.

  My phone rings and I reach into my pocket to retrieve it. It’s Barry.

  ‘What’s up, Barry?’

  ‘You’re really bringing her home with you?’

  ‘I’m fine, thanks. You OK?’

  ‘I’m being serious, Neal. You’re really bringing her home? To New York?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m brining her home. You got a problem with that?’

  ‘I’ve got a million pro
blems with that. You’re not being serious about her working with us, though. Are you?’

  ‘She’s not working with us, Barry. She’s working with me.’

  ‘This is making me real nervous, bro.’

  I laugh, because he’s being ridiculous. ‘You wanted me to start living. I’m living.’

  ‘No, Neal, you’re not. You’re still stuck in some fucking fantasy you can’t let go of, and that isn’t good. And bringing her here, letting her into our business…’

  ‘Hey, hold on a second. First of all, start showing some fucking respect when you talk about Kira, OK? She’s not some cheap whore I picked up off the street, she’s beautiful and smart and she knows her own mind…’

  ‘Whereas you’re losing yours.’

  ‘You don’t get a say in how I live my life, Barry. Alright? You don’t get to do that, so back off. My life’s changing, and I couldn’t be happier. So just back the fuck off.’

  I hang up and throw the phone down, pushing a hand through my hair. I know Barry’s uncomfortable with me and Kira. He’s made no secret of the fact he thinks she’s just some fantasy, and I’m refusing to acknowledge that, and he’s right, in a way. She is a fantasy I can’t let go of, but I don’t have to, do I? She’s a fantasy that’s real now; a dream I can hold on to.

  My head suddenly snaps back around as I hear footsteps charging up the stairs, and she crashes into the bedroom, flinging me back against the wall before I have a chance to get my head around what’s happening.

  ‘Fuck me, Neal.’

  Yeah… What was I saying about fantasies? ‘Couldn’t get through the door without needing another shot, huh?’

  She smiles and hitches up her dress and I swing her around so we change positions. ‘You’re a dangerous addiction, Mr Cannon,’ she breathes.

  ‘You got that right, darlin’.’

  I slide my hand between her legs and she’s wet and ready, and so am I. And as our mouths meet, and I push inside her, her quiet sighs fall into me and I know that everything’s gonna be just fine. Now.