Bleeding Hearts

by Girl, Breukelen

  Luke came from a family of wolves who were used to doing, rather than waiting. When they wanted something, they got it. When they required something to happen, it happened. Patience was not a trait of his, so it was just as well he’s wasn’t fascinated with Doll and wanted to pursue her.

  “What’s one night, when lunar week is coming up?” He replied to his friend, without much conviction. Dale looked at him and nodded his head. It wasn’t like they hated to hit the clubs and find someone to keep them company each lunar week night.

  “Come on, let’s get to work.” Dale said slapping a hand down on his shoulder.

  Doll and Jeremy didn’t have to look hard, as they walked back out into the street; they came across a concert setting up on the steps of City Hall. A crowd was already gathering and patiently staking out places to sit or watch the upcoming, what looked to Doll like, a classical concert.

  Doll and Jeremy found a spot and sat down on the ground, pulling out their water bottles and sharing an apple between themselves. They watched the classical concert and forgot that they were anywhere but at a concert, listening and enjoying music, like any other regular people might.

  Doll glanced across at Jeremy and noticed how absorbed in the music he was. His face looked peaceful, she hadn’t seen that look on Jeremy once in the past three years. Her heart fluttered with what she thought might be joy as she turned back to the musicians performing. Doll snapped a shot off with Jeremy’s camera of him at the concert and put the camera down again. Jeremy’s hands slid into hers and Doll wrapped hers in his. Grateful for the moment.

  It felt like a reprieve to Doll. They’d made it back into the world again. They could enjoy the sensation of sunlight breaking through clouds and landing on their upturned faces. They could feel the sensation of the cool air coming off Pungent Sound and whipping their hair around. They weren’t locked in a room with no windows and a concrete floor.

  They were no longer naked and shivering from being hosed down with buckets of water thrown on them continuously, to wash away their bodily functions. They could move freely, without restriction of chains digging into their bodies and pulling them apart.

  It was probably the utter ease of enjoyment of these thoughts, that caused Doll to loose track of time. She’d intended for her and Jeremy to do a few things, but to search for possible work along the way. She figured waitressing and shelf stocking at supermarkets would be the easiest for them to pick up. Anything menial would do. Doll knew that neither her or Jeremy were in any position to do anything but the most basic of work.

  They didn’t have career ambitions because they hadn’t known from day to day in the Alpha pack’s clutches wether they would live another day or it might be the day the pack would go to far with one of them and they’d die alone. Career ambitions had not entered into their world. Doll shivered with the cool breeze sweeping across them in the open air concert.

  “Thanks Doll.” He said to her. “Thanks for today.” Doll wiped at her face. Jeremy had a way of making her want to burst into tears. He meant so damn much to her. He was her heart. He was her purpose. He was the one who kept her alive.

  “You’re welcome.”

  They left city hall when the concert finished and kept ambling around the University District. Just looking at things, and taking stock of the fact, that they could do just that. After the concert the day seemed to speed up on them and the afternoon sky started darkening again.

  Doll hadn’t figured out where they were going to sleep for the night and despite being flush with cash from Luke, she knew they still had to conserve most of it. They had to somehow make it stretch. Accommodation at a motel, hotel or backpackers lodge would eventually suck them dry of the one advantageous thing they now had at their disposal. She asked Jeremy if he was okay with going back to Luke’s house for the night.

  “You like him.” Jeremy blurted out.

  “We know he’ll put us up, we now know the house and we’ve got a means to flee if we have to.” Doll replied ignoring his accusation of her interest in Luke. Besides if Luke did want them to pay through sex, Doll would do that as long as he left Jeremy alone. It wouldn’t be like she wasn’t used to having to do that. She hated herself for thinking badly of Luke like that when he was one of two people who hadn’t wanted something from her since she’d re-entered the world. Him and surprisingly, the truck driver they’d caught a lot of their ride down to Seattle with. “He could be of use to us.”

  “You don’t use people Doll.” Jeremy replied. “That’s not you.”

  “Well maybe that’s my problem and why we were held against our will for so damn long. Maybe I need to be a bit more ruthless, and use people when the opportunity presents.” She fired back angrily, not liking the taste of her own words in her own mouth.

  “Okay, Doll. Okay.” It hurt her heart to hear Jeremy agree with her. He only did it because he could not be without her. And so it was decided they would return to Luke Charleston’s house. If only for one more night.

  They found their way back to the house and got the spare key from it’s hiding spot. Letting themselves into the darkened and otherwise uninhabited house. Jeremy switched on the lights in the living room, hallway and the spare guest bedroom. Doll wondered if he was developing a fear of the dark. It wouldn’t surprise her. They’d been kept almost entirely in the dark, in that room by the Alpha pack. Once they’d thrown their bags back into the spare room.

  Doll stood around wondering what to do next. She was thrown. When she’d been locked up in that dank, dark room by the Alpha Pack her mind had always raced. Somewhere between panic, fear and exhaustion. She never knew when the door would open and someone would come for her. She never knew what they would do next. She never knew if it was day or not. She barely if at all slept until she passed out. Not that meant the abuse stopped just because she did. The Alpha Pack were completely sadistic and only interested in their needs being met by her.

  Jeremy wondered into the living room and started looking at Luke’s stereo and music collection. His hands flicked over CD covers until he picked up a plug in music device and started fiddling with that instead and connecting it to the stereo and figuring how to change the setting on it.

  Doll looked about them. She supposed she should take the time to figure out a plan of action for them. She went off in search of a phone book and instead found a laptop and turned it on and brought it back into the living room.

  When Dale pulled up to Luke’s house and dropped him off, they both noticed the lights on in the house. “Do you want me to come in?” Dale asked out of politeness not concern. It wasn’t Luke couldn’t handle himself in a fight. He’d kicked Dale’s ass more than once when they tussled.

  Luke smiled. “No it’s fine. See you tomorrow.” He said striding up to the front porch of his house and unlocking the front door quickly. He walked in to see, Doll sitting cross legged on the floor of his living room, his laptop on and open on the table before her as she looked at the screen, a pad with notes of writing jotted down beside her. He looked across at Jeremy who was reading the back of a CD, headphones on and plugged in to his stereo. The little domestic scene made him extremely happy. Which was stupid, he silently told himself.

  Doll stood up when she saw him and brushed her jeans, his old ones, down. “Uh, we thought we’d take you up on your offer. So I uh, hope you meant it.” She said looking at him.

  Luke’s smile got bigger. “I meant every word of it.” He stood for a fraction to long just looking at her, until Doll started to look a little uneasy. “You guys had dinner yet?” He asked wondering off down the hallway. He had contain his excitement that she was there in his house again. Had to tread carefully, he could see that.

  “No.” Doll answered him, stepping out into the corridor.

  “Great, you can eat with me. What do you feel like?” He threw over his shoulder as he walked into his bedroom.

  “Whatever you want is fine.” Doll answered him.

  Luke came back out
of the bedroom, topless and barefoot with a t-shirt in his hands. Doll’s eyes flicked up from his smooth chest to his face again. He was muscular without being overly so. Solid and beautiful, emanating strength. Luke pulled the t-shirt up over his head and down. Stopping in front of Doll once she was dressed. She glanced away again. Not wanting to get caught, staring at him.

  “I want to know, what you like to eat.” He said standing close to her personal space. Doll’s mouth dropped open and she closed it again, shrugging her shoulders. Luke smiled at her warmly. Liking that he’d shown his intent. His inner werewolf’s tail was wagging.

  “I haven’t had a pizza in forever. Will that do?” Doll asked him, looking back up at him.

  Over three large pizza’s Luke was brought up to speed on the day that Doll and Jeremy had. He still had to drag the information out of Doll, whilst Jeremy remained quiet and absorbed in listening to his music collection, headphones permanently on.

  “You should do the Space Needle. It’s a must.” Luke said picking up his six slice of pizza.

  “I’ll put it on the list of things to do, once we’ve got ourselves some work and a place to stay.” Luke put the slice of pizza back down and looked at Doll.

  “Why don’t you guys stay here, till you get, you know, settled?” Luke closed his mouth again, he hadn’t even known he was going to say that. Not that the idea repelled him. He just, surprised himself. Doll’s eyes widened. “I mean, makes sense you use my place, right?”

  “Why would you let us stay here? What exactly do you want from us Luke?” Doll asked suspiciously. She picked up her can of soft drink and took a mouthful.

  “Who said I wanted anything from you guys? I’m just offering you a place to sleep, off the street, out of the cold.” He fired back at Doll quickly. He leaned forward looking holding her gaze. “You don’t trust people do you?”

  Doll hesitated but held his gaze when she said “I haven’t really had reason to. So no, I don’t trust people and that trust is non existent when it comes to werewolves, they’re even worse.” She didn’t add that so far, Luke was the exception to that. But she refused to believe his good will fully.

  “Why?” He asked softly before he could stop himself. She couldn’t allow herself to believe in the good of him and trust her heart. She just couldn’t allow that slightest opportunity that her and Jeremy might be put back into the same sort of circumstances they had escaped from, again. They couldn’t have someone control them, own them.

  “And would I be right in assuming you think alpha werewolves are the worst of the wolves?” Luke asked softly when Doll didn’t answer him. He watched the flinch in her, like he’d stung her with his words as she slowly turned her head back to him and lifted her head to hold his gaze.

  “The absolute worst kind of werewolf there is.” She seethed at him in a low voice. Luke’s eyes darted over to Jeremy and back to Doll.

  “What happened to you two?” Luke blurted out. He was genuinely concerned but it was of course, he realised too late it was the wrong thing to say. Doll’s defences come up in place quickly and she stood up, ignoring Luke instantly. He sighed and knew he’d pushed her to hard and mentally berated himself for it. He didn’t want to make Doll upset, but he did want to tear down her barriers.

  “Jeremy I’m going to bed.” She said loud enough for him to hear through the headphones. Jeremy looked up at her and over at Luke. He pulled the headphones off and stood too. Luke sighed and swallowed a mouthful of his beer. He couldn’t honestly expect her to be completely open to him in less than twenty four hours could he? She didn’t know him from anyone and he her.

  6

  Luke awoke early in the morning and again, cautiously walked over to the spare room. For some reason he feared Doll would bolt. He didn’t think it would take much to startle her and he had no idea what would tip her off. And so he opened the bedroom door again, to check on his house guests. He was surprised this time, to find them sleeping in the actual bed provided. Jeremy was curled up, his back to Luke, into Doll’s chest. She slept with an arm draped over him.

  Touch to werewolves was a big thing. So it did not surprise him that they would sleep so closely together. And yet, they didn’t strike him as lovers. Yet he could see how much they meant to each other. There was love for one another. He was sure of it. Jeremy stirred against Doll lightly and Luke watched as Jeremy slid a hand under Doll’s top, lifting the cotton top up to reveal a breast. Jeremy’s mouth latched onto it and he sucked as he pressed in even closer to Doll.

  Luke’s werewolf stirred to life, suddenly circling itself. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling or what he was seeing. Doll’s arm around Jeremy moved a few times, lightly up and down his back before stopping as she slept on and Jeremy sucked on her breast, like a cub wanting a feed from its mother.

  Luke closed the bedroom door. He supposed if he was to be completely honest with himself, he was jealous of Jeremy. Luke walked down the hallway to the bathroom and closed the door. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He knew he shouldn’t be jealous of Jeremy, of what he’d just seen. Because it hadn’t come across as sexual to him. And maybe that was the problem too. It’d looked like an act of love between the two stray werewolves.

  Luke looked at his appearance. He was muscular thanks to his werewolf biology. A fast metabolism rate that also was helped by regular shape shifts and runs in his wolf form, kept him in peak shape. He had the kind of male body that men went to the gym and had to work out hours a week for. Jeremy by comparison, was scrawny looking. Doll was thin too and that didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t know of thin werewolves. Werewolves were naturally muscular and toned, and even slim werewolves looked healthy. Luke sighed and ran a hand through his short brown hair and walked into the shower.

  Doll. He turned the shower taps on. It seemed every time he got to talk to her, he got more intrigued by her. Wanted to know far more than she was willing to let him, know about her. Patience he reminded himself checking out the spray’s temperature. He had to work on that thing called patience. Doll could not be rushed, he reasoned with himself.

  He stepped under the water’s spray. And know he knew of her distrust of alpha werewolves, he felt like he’d just been put behind the eight ball with her. His shower was brief because he was getting frustrated the more he thought of Doll and the shower was not in anyway relaxing him.

  How to overcome the mistrust she felt? Luke turned off the shower and stepped back out, reaching for a towel. Surely by offering his home to both her and Jeremy he was giving her reason to trust him. Luke was rubbing the towel over his head, roughly drying it when he felt the temperature in the room change. The steam his shower had created, moved with an influx of new air as the door to the bathroom opened. His inner wolf stood to attention, and he knew, before he’d even dropped the towel down that it was Doll.

  Doll stood there stationary and silent, in her jeans and long sleeved shirt, had she slept in them? She looked a little stunned. But then Luke supposed, she had meant to stumble across a naked male she barely knew in the bathroom.

  “Uh, sorry. I didn’t realise you were…in…here and…” Doll trailed off as her eyes kept looking Luke over. She knew she shouldn’t. She knew she shouldn’t want to see him naked. But he was there and she was there and looking was harmless right? And her werewolf self, it wanted to look at the fine specimen of male werewolf before her. It was like the impossible thing to do, not look. Especially when he was extremely nice to look at. And when he seemed to have absolutely no problem with her ogling him naked.

  She dropped her eyes down low on him and then to the floor, blushing pink. The bathroom lights had not been turned on and there had been no sound from the shower, how was she supposed to know he was in there, naked and waiting. Was he waiting?

  Luke kept towel drying his hair before her. He had no problem with being naked, for him it was the werewolf way. And the fact that she was discreetly checking him out was okay with him also. Doll’s eyes dropped
to the ground as if ready for a reprimand and when none came, she seemed to regain her sense and started to move, ready to leave the bathroom.

  “Is Doll really your name?” Luke asked her quickly, he didn’t want her to leave him, and he especially didn’t want her to leave him because she was scared of his physicality. “It’s an unusual name.” He made Doll catch her breath. Her eyes going back to his face again. He still hadn’t bothered to cover himself up.

  “Yes it’s really my name. It’s my middle name actually short for Dollton.” That made Luke straighten up and look at her. He stopped drying his hair.

  “So what’s the rest of it? You’re full name.” He asked eagerly. He felt like he was finally getting somewhere with her. Doll sighed heavily. There was a reason behind her using her middle name and it wasn’t pleasant and this whole conversation was about to burst wide open with Luke. She could see him asking more questions until it was all revealed. He liked to push, he was used to getting his way, it no doubt was in his alpha biology.

  “Doll?”

  She looked at him softly. “My full name, birth name, is Sarah Dollton McKenzie.” She said looking at the delight spread across his face that she’d shared a piece of herself with him. “Doll comes from my grandmother. It was her surname, my mother wanted to pay tribute to her and she put her own little twist on it by making it my middle name. Everyone in my family used to call me Doll, because of it.” Her eyes dropped off him as if remembering. “I like it.”

  “But it’s not a preference thing is it?” He pushed gently. “I mean, you didn’t introduce yourself ad Doll McKenzie to me, it’s just Doll. Why is that?”

  “I don’t want to be reminded of my other names. That’s from when I was a different person. I don’t want to go back to being Sarah McKenzie. Ever.” Doll said looking at him, she started to rock on her feet. “I don’t ever want to be called Sarah McKenzie, again. It’s not who I am.” She said feeling her defences go up. She couldn’t help it. Talking about her name was like letting in a bit of what she’d escaped from come back to haunt her. The Alpha Pack.