Can't Shake You

by Molly McLain

  So his reasoning sounded weak, even to his more sensible self, but he was going with it, because nothing...nothing...felt better than holding Carissa. And though she’d given him almost nothing to go on, he got the distinct impression that, right now, she needed to be held. She didn’t want forever, but he could offer her a safe place to fall until she got back on her feet again.

  Fletcher wouldn’t like it, but Josh would like himself much either, if he didn’t at least try to give the woman he cared about what she needed.

  ***

  Still love you. At least text back so I know you’re alive.

  Carissa sat back on her bare feet, grass tickling between her toes, as she pulled off her gardening gloves and blinked down at her phone. Cade had to be up to something, for him to make contact with her three times in as many days, when up until last week, he’d sent exactly as many messages in all of twelve months.

  She twisted her mouth to the side as it occurred to her that he might actually not know if she was breathing or she was six feet under. Though Maddie probably would have alerted him to that status had it changed.

  Still, he was her brother. Even if she did hate him a little for taking their father’s side when everything went to hell. And his messages did give her the unfair advantage of not having to question whether or not he was still taking in air.

  Alive was her single word response.

  She tossed the phone into the grass and made a move for her gloves when the phone chirped again.

  “Damn you, Cade.” She snatched up the device again and swiped to the new text.

  Baby steps. I like it.

  With a snort, she thumbed her reply—Smartass—and sent it off before realizing the enormity of what she’d done: engaged in the first legitimate conversation she’d had with her older brother in over a year.

  LOL I’ll take what I can get. Call me sometime. I don’t bite...anymore.

  His last words had her catapulting back to the pigtails picture Josh had raised eyebrows at last night in her photo album. She chuckled softly at the memory of Cade’s first baseball game. He’d been so nervous when they’d arrived at the field that he’d taken a chunk out of her arm when she’d offered her doll as consolation.

  I’ll think about it. Because something bittersweet and reminiscent had begun to tug at her resolve lately. And maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to let Cade back into a little part of her life.

  “You texting the virginity stealer?”

  Carissa jumped at Josh’s sudden appearance above her. She held her hand and her phone to her chest above her racing heart. She wasn’t so surprised she couldn’t banter back, however. “Believe me, if I was sexting Ethan, I’d hardly be this dressed.”

  Josh gave a light laugh as he crouched beside her, blocking her view of the house which lent them some privacy. He picked a piece of dandelion fluff from her hair and let his fingers trail down the profile of her jaw. “As long as I’m the only one getting the real thing.”

  She pressed her lips together in playful smile. And then she remembered...

  “But am I the only one getting the real thing from you? Or am I sharing with Ellie?”

  The momentary flicker of surprise that slashed across his face had her galloping heart skidding to a near stop. She probably should have been more tactful in asking, but it had slipped her mind when he’d shown up on her doorstep and distracted her with his unexpected offer.

  “Where’d you get that idea?” he asked quietly, something tight and undefined in his expression.

  She lifted a shoulder, tossed back her ponytail and adjusted her sunglasses, trying to pull off the worst attempt at nonchalance ever. “Shop talk has it you recently requested a booty call.”

  “Shop talk, huh?” He shook his head and made an aggravated sound.

  He also avoided giving her a direct answer. Shit. At least they’d used condoms. Not that they’d protect her pride. “How recent, Josh?”

  “The night of Dan and Maddie’s party. After our argument. But she was out of town. It didn’t work out.”

  Carissa wet her lips and swallowed, not the least bit comfortable with the jealousy rousing in her stomach. Still, she nodded and reached for her gloves. “Okay.”

  “Uh-uh.” Suddenly Josh’s fingers were at her chin, turning her face toward him again. Questioning blue eyes searched her own. He brushed his thumb over her bottom lip, which had turned down in the slightest bit of a pout. Ridiculous. “What’s this?”

  She wet her lips and sighed. “It’s not my right to know who else you’re making house calls to, but frankly I’m not sure I’m interested in continuing this if—”

  “It didn’t work out,” he repeated, his expression still concerned. “You’re the only woman I’ve been with in months. Hell, the only reason I even called her was because of you. You riled me up that night.”

  The jealous weight in her stomach turned to butterflies.

  Months? Josh Hudson? The second half of the dynamic duo, infamous for sweet talking the panties off even the most astute of women? That was some kind of impressive.

  And he’d only called Ellie because of her? Twisted as it was, her previously wounded pride swelled and she attempted to laugh off her ridiculous jealousy. “So we’re even then? Andrew, Ellie...”

  He shook his head and gave her a small, unsuccessful smile. “Not even close, babe.”

  A ball of guilt formed in her throat. Yeah, probably not. Considering there’d also been Reed...

  “But none of that matters, because right now it’s just you and me. No one else. While this lasts.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

  While this lasts. Damn. “What are you saying? That this fling of ours should be monogamous?”

  He dipped his chin. “I am. I don’t share well.”

  “Neither do I.” She felt the wickedly satisfied twist of his lips all the way down to her toes.

  “I also want to us to be honest with each other when it starts to feel like this thing has run its course.”

  Which hopefully wouldn’t be tomorrow. Or next week. Because she wasn’t even close to being done with him. “Okay.”

  His focus fell to her mouth and he flashed that devious grin once again. “You know I wanna kiss you, right?”

  “Do you?” She had to admit his mouth looked awfully tempting amidst his dark stubble. “Mmm, I wanna kiss you, too. Among other things.”

  “I’m gonna leave something in your car. Make of if what you will, okay?”

  She arched an eyebrow. “What kind of something?”

  “You’ll have to wait and see. And no pressure. Just...if you want.”

  “My mind is going all sorts of dirty places, hot shot.”

  “Good. Catalog it all and save it for later.” He chucked her nose and stood. “Hastings on Wednesday afternoon work for you?”

  “Of course.”

  “Great. We’ll work out the time later. I’ve got a meeting in fifteen at the courthouse.”

  “Don’t forget my something.”

  He grinned as he began jogging backwards. “I won’t, babe.”

  ***

  Two hours later, Josh walked out of the county boardroom with a bounce in his step. He had to admit he’d been worried that the recent bouts of vandalism would come up during his presentation, but fortunately no one said a word. Thank God. Because he’d nailed that damn proposal and he’d noticed every single lifted eyebrow and impressed expression when the board had taken a look at his bottom line.

  All he had to do now was keep his reputation clean for the next few weeks and the job of a lifetime would be his.

  He jogged up to the second floor of the old building and into his brother’s office, eager to share to news.

  “Go on in, Josh. Dan’s just finishing up a phone call.” Greta, the receptionist, waved him toward the rear section of the legal department without batting an eye.

  He found Dan kicked back, his feet crossed at the ankles and resting on his de
sk. His brother motioned toward one of the big leather chairs that sat before the monstrosity of mahogany wood and mouthed, “Just give me a sec,” before continuing his conversation.

  Josh plopped into the chair closest to a huge bank of book shelves, packed from top to bottom with volumes of law books he was sure his brother had read at least twice. Josh, on the other hand, was more interested in the integrity and the craftsmanship of the shelves.

  He gave a mental grunt. That Dan would follow in their father’s footsteps had never been a question during their childhood. Neither had Josh’s going off in a completely different direction.

  Jack Hudson had still been a prick about the decision when Josh made it official and joined the Corp. His Grandpa Hudson had been a Marine, so one would assume Josh’s joining the Marine Forces Reserve the summer after high school would’ve made his father proud as hell. But instead it earned him a cold shoulder time and time again. Enrolling in a constructional engineering program instead of law school had been the icing on the cake. Or rather the piss in his father’s whiskey. Story of his life, really.

  He swung a glance around the room and his attention snagged on a picture of Dan and Maddie on the corner of the desk. He smiled, remembering the exact moment the shot was taken. He’d snapped it himself three years ago, a week or so before he’d left for pre-deployment training. Maddie had gulped down one too many fruity spirits and had insisted on filling up her phone with pictures she could send him overseas. Shortly thereafter, she and Dan took their drunken, horny asses home, leaving him to entertain the friend they’d had in town for the weekend.

  His smile faded.

  Carissa had been unlike any other woman he’d ever met. So sweet and fun, so sincere and beautiful. From the moment he’d stepped into the pub and their eyes had locked, he knew she was someone special. Someone unforgettable...

  “Hello...”

  Josh snapped out of his reverie when his brother leaned across the glossy desk and waved a hand in front of his face.

  “Sorry.” He cleared his throat. “You say something?”

  Dan laughed and rested back in his chair. “I said you look a little lighter on your feet today. I take it your proposal was a hit.”

  “Couldn’t have gone any better,” he said confidently, comfortable enough with his brother to gloat a little. “Now I wait for them to realize how stupid they’d be to go with anyone else.”

  “I heard they’re looking at five options, two of which are from big-wig companies in Omaha.”

  “Good thing I’ve got the hometown loyalty thing going for me then, huh?” he said simply, not the least bit deterred by the competition. He learned a long time ago that worrying about his rivals was pointless—he was good and his work continued to show it.

  Dan grinned. “Speaking of loyalty...”

  Josh waited for the rest of the sentence, but when it didn’t come, he arched an eyebrow. “What?”

  Dan got up, walked around the desk, and sat on the edge just to Josh’s left. He folded his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on with you and Carissa?”

  Shit. “I’m flipping her house. Maybe you don’t remember, but you’re the one who called me...” He let the statement hang, as he made a phone out of his thumb and his pinky in an attempt to appear as calm as possible.

  “Since when does flipping her house involve cock blocking her? All I’ve gotta say is, you’re lucky Maddie was too busy being pissed that Carissa’d blown off Andrew to see what was so obvious to me—you’re doing more than business with her, little brother, and that friggin’ hickey on your neck is all the confirmation I need.”

  “You know I don’t mess around with clients.” Josh pushed to his feet and ambled to a shelf, feigning interest in the books lined up there. He should’ve known Dan would catch on to his disappearing act. At least he’d managed to get through the last few years undetected.

  “Come on, man, she’s no more a client to you than she’s a goddamn friend. What I wanna know is how the hell you’ve managed to keep Fletcher in the dark this long.”

  So maybe he hadn’t succeeded in sliding beneath his brother’s bullshit radar. He didn’t bother to deny it. But he wasn’t ready to admit to there being anything between him and Carissa either. It was bad enough Tony knew and, frankly, Carissa deserved better than to be tossed around like a piece of trash in macho conversation.

  “Okay, fine, you’re doing the honorable thing. I get that. I respect that. I even get that you’ve probably got some hang up on the fact that you saw her first. But, seriously, bro, you’ve gotta know you’re only making more trouble for yourself and for Carissa by not telling Fletcher.”

  Josh scrubbed both of his hands over his face and exhaled heavily. Reluctantly—and only because he trusted his brother and knew he’d respect Carissa unconditionally—he admitted the truth. “I did more than just see her first.”

  With his back to his brother, Josh imagined Dan blinking, his lawyer’s face expressionless, hiding his shock. The man was silent for several long moments before he finally spoke.

  “Wow. I shouldn’t be surprised, because, seeing you two together all those years ago, I thought for sure there was something there. But then you never said anything to Fletcher, even after you came home from deployment, so I figured I was wrong...” Dan broke off with a muttered curse. “For such a straight-shooting, no bullshit guy, you fucked this up well and good.”

  “No kidding. Definitely one of my prouder accomplishments, let me tell ya.” Turning on the heel of his boot, Josh leveled with his brother. “I’d appreciate, as I’m sure Carissa would, if you didn’t share this with Maddie.”

  Dan stared for a beat, then inclined his chin. “Of course. But if your intentions are to keep this from Reed, then you better do yourself a favor and end whatever it is you’re doing before things get any messier.”

  Too bad he wasn’t remotely close to ready to end it with Carissa. Not by a long shot.

  Still, he nodded. And then his father walked into the office. Looking pissed as hell.

  “Are you out of your ever-loving mind?” the old man demanded, stalking forward until he stood in front of Josh, his jaw tense and the line of his mouth straight and hard. “You better hope you don’t get this job, because you’re gonna lose your ass and maybe even your entire company with a lowball bid like that.”

  Josh quirked an eyebrow. “Couldn’t resist checking up on me, huh?”

  Jack stabbed a finger into the center of his chest. “I didn’t raise you to be such a goddamn do-gooder. This is dog-eat-dog world, boy, and you’re gonna get chewed to shit if you don’t start thinking about yourself.”

  Rubbing at the scar on the back of his neck, Josh chuckled. How many times had he heard this same sermon? And how many times had he proven his old man wrong by coming out on top? Joining the Corp., for example, hadn’t only been good for him, but it had been the perfect backing for his business, despite his deployment. Hell, he’d come home from Afghanistan to more work than he knew what to do with. Not to mention accomplishing the obvious of taking on the most prestigious of challenges—serving his country.

  But in his father’s eyes, none of it meant anything. And frankly Josh was sick and tired of never measuring up to the man’s impossible standards.

  He shouldered past his father and headed for the door, pausing only to glance back at Dan. “Do me a favor and tell Maddie I got her message about the monkey suit. I’ll stop by Lolita’s tonight to get fitted.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  His garage door opener. Josh left her his garage door opener.

  Just after six o’clock that evening, Carissa sat behind the wheel of her car in the driveway of the flip, contemplating the little box in her hand—an invitation she’d been rolling around in her head since about five seconds after Josh had driven away and she’d sprinted to her car to see the device sitting on her front seat.

  At first consideration, taking their affair to Josh’s place seem
ed like an incredibly bad idea, given the chance Reed could show up any given moment. But then Josh's big truck, with its bright red Hudson Contracting logo in the back window, would never go undetected in her parking lot either. Sure, they could probably chalk up daytime visits to business meetings, but a midnight sighting? There’d be no way to deny the obvious nature of that kind of visit.

  If she wanted to continue seeing him for the longest duration possible, it made sense to carry on their fling where they had at least a modicum of discretion. And she definitely wanted to keep seeing him. And sleeping with him. Regardless of the consequences of getting caught, which was a realization that both excited her and scared her to death.

  The thing was...she liked Josh. A lot. So much, apparently, that she was going to do the craziest thing she'd ever done and take him up on the invitation.

  Her cell rang just as she clipped the remote to her visor. A glance at the caller ID had that fluttery feeling building all over again in her stomach.

  “Hey,” she said like some nervous schoolgirl about to plan the big night she gave away her virginity.

  “Hey yourself. How was the rest of your afternoon?”

  “Hot. And I’m pretty sure I’m sunburned. But it was completely worth it because I finally got all the flower beds planted.”

  “Nice. You worked really hard on them. And now you’ll be able to enjoy them for a while, too.”

  “Hmm, that’s the only positive aspect of this whole eviction thing,” she chuckled softly.

  He gave a light laugh too and then she heard him pull in a breath. “So...”

  Ah, so he was nervous, too, was he? “What are you doing right now?”

  “I’m sitting in my truck across the street from Lolita’s. Trying to psych myself up for the inevitable violation of her roaming hands.”

  “Aaw, come on. She’s an old lady.”

  “She’s a seventy-year old cougar.”

  Carissa snorted. “You want me to come supervise? Keep her in line?”

  He let out a long sigh. “No. With any luck, I’ll be in and out. Then I’ve got a couple quick stops to make and I’m heading home, thank god. Feel like I haven’t been there in weeks.”