Outback Heart

by Palmer, Fiona

  As much as it hurt Troy to talk about it, he knew Freddie would understand what a cruel blow this was. Nothing could have hurt Troy more. His dream of becoming an AFL star had died the moment his heart had.

  ‘You have to focus on the fact that you’re alive,’ his mum had said. ‘You can still watch a game of football, and you might even take up cricket.’ Her words had done nothing to stem his tears that first night he’d realised his dream was gone.

  Now he was just numb from it all. Somewhere in the back of his mind he still believed he could get back out on the grass and play. And it helped that Freddie had been in to visit often, sometimes bringing other mates from school. He had heaps of cards and messages from everyone at school and back in Geraldton.

  When he could finally talk the first thing Troy had said to his parents was, ‘I’m sorry.’ He’d felt tired, he’d felt responsible for pulling his parents away from the farm and all the way down to the city, and he felt he was to blame for their sleepless nights and their worried looks. In the first week they had hardly left his bedside – and Troy knew just what damage a week away from the farm could do.

  ‘You have nothing to be sorry for, son. This is not your fault,’ his dad had said. ‘And your mother’s right. We’ll get through this. We’re just so happy that you’re here with us. Nothing else matters.’ He’d sniffed back his tears and smiled.

  A soft knock at the door snapped Troy out of his deep thoughts.

  A girl with raven hair and a big smile knocked on the door again but she was already standing inside his room. ‘Um, Troy, right? I’m Peta. May I come in? Is now a good time?’

  ‘Sure, come in. Hi. Niki told me you would be coming by.’

  Peta bounced in on her toes. She dragged a chair up to his bed and sat beside him, leaning on his bed like they were old friends. She did it with such ease, not like everyone else that had come to visit him with their hands fidgeting, all anxious, eyes searching the alien room. Peta was different. She was calm and comfortable, just like the nurses around here.

  ‘Hiya, Troy. So I hear that you had an LVAD put in. Nice. I had one too.’

  ‘Have you got a donor heart now?’

  ‘Yep and it’s working beautifully,’ she said, tapping her chest gently.

  She smiled again and already Troy was smitten. Peta had to be older than him but by only a year or two. She’d been through the exact same thing, and she was alive. Her deep ebony eyes sparkled with life. She moved to sit on the edge of his bed, putting her feet on the chair she’d just vacated. No wonder she was so comfortable, Troy thought, she’d probably spent so much time here.

  ‘How long did you have your LVAD for?’ he asked. It was exciting to have someone to talk to who knew what he was going through.

  ‘Well, I was sixteen when I had mine put in and I had to carry that battery pack around for just over two years before a donor heart became available.’

  ‘Wow, that long?’

  ‘Yep. Oh, and I had some close calls in that time too,’ she laughed as she flicked her hair back.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Times that the battery had run down and I had to get back to a power supply and plug myself in. I tried to think of myself like Iron Man. Needing my power source to survive. This place is like a second home for me. I know everyone; Niki is my favourite, don’t tell the others.’

  ‘She’s mine too,’ he agreed.

  They both laughed.

  ‘What was it like when you got your new heart?’ Troy asked.

  He listened with rapture as Peta spoke, and he found himself asking her things not even his parents or the nurses had mentioned or known. He didn’t even know what questions to ask but Peta was answering so many things he’d never thought of. Little things, like he was getting the inside scoop on how it really was going to be for him with an LVAD. From the looks he’d get to simple things like getting dressed around his line. No one knew that better than Peta. They even discussed the hospital food. Before too long she had to leave. ‘I’m sorry, I have to drive back home. Mum’ll be worried.’

  ‘Will you come visit again?’ he asked, and then felt embarrassed for begging. Heat filled his checks as he added, ‘I just have so much more to ask you.’

  ‘Sure, I’d like that. I have heaps more to tell you.’ She jumped down from his bed, tapping his hand quickly and then waving. ‘I’ll see you again soon, Troy.’

  As she walked out of his room Troy thought that having a new heart mightn’t be so bad after all. He never would have known Peta had a new heart, and she was so beautiful and energetic. Who needed football when there were girls like her.

  10

  INDI held up the sexy blue dress as she chewed her lip. She didn’t feel sexy. There was no way she could pull this off – could she? Indi pulled the silky material over her head. The strapless garment stopped high on her thighs. Luckily Tegan had loaned her a padded bra: Indi didn’t have enough boob to hold the dress up on her own, the downside to being lean.

  Tegan had told her that the dress was sexy but casual, and if she teamed it with some simple black flats and wore her hair out, she’d look perfect. The jury was still out for Indi. She touched the cool fabric, so light and soft. She spent so much time in long pants for work that she almost forgot she had good legs.

  Her dark hair was wavy, and she brushed it until it shone around her shoulders.

  ‘Sis, I’m heading off now,’ said Jasper, banging on her door before sticking his head around. ‘What happened to you?’ he said as his eyes widened.

  ‘What? Too much?’

  Jasper rolled his eyes. ‘No, you look great. It’s just different. I’m not used to seeing you look so . . .’ He waved his hand around as he looked for the right word. ‘Hot,’ he said awkwardly, before pulling a face and walking out. She smiled at Jasper’s sort-of compliment. If Jasper thought she looked good, then maybe Troy would too.

  ‘I’ll be right behind you,’ she yelled after him.

  With one last adjustment, Indi picked up her black purse and headed to the kitchen. ‘Bye, Dad. Dinner’s in the oven.’ He was sorting through invoices and he glanced up as she planted a kiss on his cheek. He smelt like chemicals – Roundup.

  ‘Wow, sweetheart, you look gorgeous. Just like your mother when I first met her.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘Did I tell you the story of when I met her at the local cabaret? When I finally got around to asking her to dance I refused to let her go.’

  ‘Yes, Dad. And you told her you were going to marry her, that’s why no one else could dance with her.’

  ‘And you remember what she told me?’

  ‘That you had a lot of nerve, that she wasn’t one to be walked over, but if you did want to marry her you would have to ask her father first. And she wouldn’t let you kiss her.’ Indi had heard the story so often. Her mum had made it sound so perfect.

  ‘Well, sweetheart, you just remind them fellas tonight that they have to see me first,’ Allan said sternly.

  ‘Dad, no one even dances any more. Not the old-time stuff.’ She kissed his cheek. ‘You sure you don’t want to come down and see Pat get your number again? All your mates will be there.’

  He shook his head. ‘Not tonight. I’m buggered after spraying and digging the holes for the new shed. Not as young as I used to be. Plus I’ve got these bills to sort through.’

  Since Lizzy had died, Allan had aged more rapidly, and he didn’t like leaving home except to work. It would do him good to socialise more but Indi didn’t want to push it.

  ‘All right, if you’re sure, Dad.’ Indi knew he couldn’t handle going to the footy without Lizzy but at some stage he’d have to take the plunge.

  Allan rubbed his eyes. ‘I’m okay, sweetheart. I’ll get there in my own time.’

  ‘Just so you know, you’re still important to the club, Dad, and all your mates would love to see you back there.’

  Allan went back to fiddling with the invoices.

  ‘Well, see you in the morn
ing. Don’t wait up.’ She kissed his cheek again, grabbed her black jacket off the chair and headed for the door. She paused to glance back at Allan one final time, his big shoulders hunched over the bills. If she could reach in and fix his heart, she would. How did one get over losing the love of their life? Indi bit her lip, steadied herself, and with an aching heart headed to the car.

  The clubhouse was lit up and Indi could hear kids laughing and playing in the playground as she locked her mum’s white Magna. Her ute was always full of dust and on occasions like these Dad insisted she take the car.

  ‘Hi Indi,’ shouted Jett, Jenny and Phil’s eight year old son. He came racing up to her with his best mate beside him. ‘I brought my football. Can you have a kick with us on the oval?’ His grin was huge and toothy. ‘I’ve been practising what we learnt at Auskick with Dad. Wanna see?’ he said.

  ‘I’d love to, Jett, but I’m not dressed for it right now and I have to get inside. But I’d love you to show me at Auskick training on Thursday. Deal?’

  ‘Yeah, cool. Thanks Indi. You’re a great coach.’ Jett turned to his mate. ‘Let’s go.’ They ran off into the dark towards the parked cars.

  At least someone thought she could coach. Indi smiled at the eager boys. They were the future of the club. They had good numbers at Auskick this year, which just reinforced how much they really needed to keep the club going. In a small town, once things were lost, they very rarely came back.

  She continued along the verandah to the glass doors while on the oval a few kids played chasey in the dying light. Inside it was already noisy. Earlier in the day, Tegan had helped Indi put up streamers and balloons in the club colours – red, black, white and green. Boosting morale was part of Indi’s plan to get the town back on side. Through the glass she could see everyone was hanging around the bar in the far left corner. Walking into a crowded room had never bothered Indi before, but tonight would be different. She looked different and felt self conscious, nervous. Unclenching her fists, she pushed open the door and found herself looking for a friend or a place to hide.

  Tegan was not far from the door, talking with Jaffa, who held her arm as he whispered something in her ear. Indi wasn’t going to interrupt but then Tegan spotted her and waved. Jaffa leaned back, gave Indi a big smile and whistled. ‘You scrub up nice, Willo.’

  ‘Wow, you look even better than I pictured, Indi,’ Tegan said, leaning in close. ‘So, is this for a certain gorgeous new coach?’ she whispered.

  ‘What was that?’ asked Jaffa. His brow creased as he leaned in closer.

  ‘Just girl talk,’ Indi said hastily.

  Jaffa shot Tegan a frown and waited like he expected to be included. ‘Let’s go get a drink, Teegs,’ he said, reaching for her hand.

  ‘You go ahead, I just want to have a quick chat with Indi about tonight, then I’ll be over,’ Tegan said. Jaffa glanced back and forth between the girls, then shrugged. He pulled Tegan towards him and dropped a kiss on her cheek. ‘Don’t be long, beautiful,’ then he headed to the bar.

  ‘So?’ said Tegan eagerly as she rubbed Indi’s arm.

  When Indi couldn’t conjure up a reply, Tegan smiled.

  ‘You don’t have to say anything, Indi. I can read you.’

  Indi opened her mouth and then pressed her lips together, her light pink lipstick slippery with gloss. ‘Okay, maybe I’d like to see if a certain someone notices. Who knows if it will work. He hasn’t given out any vibes.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said Tegan. ‘Don’t turn around, but right now he and half the room are checking you out.’

  Indi felt the heat crawl up her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut. ‘Help,’ she muttered. ‘Is he really?’

  ‘Who wouldn’t check you out! You look gorgeous. It’s nice to see you out of those work clothes. They do make you look a bit butch.’ Tegan laughed and hooked her arm through Indi’s.

  ‘Right, I’ll pass that on to the company.’

  ‘I’m sure the lads would appreciate it at harvest. Come on. Let’s get a drink. It’ll help relax you.’

  ‘Willo, since when did you get such fine legs?’ said Spud, openly checking them out as he leaned against the bar, beer in hand. They saw her legs often enough in footy shorts at training but maybe they looked different in a pretty dress.

  ‘For about as long as you’ve had that spare tyre, Spud,’ she replied, giving him a wink. The crowd milling around the bar burst into sniggers.

  ‘Let me buy you a drink,’ said Limp before turning to ask one of the Duckworth boys behind the bar for a beer.

  Indi grinned. The footy boys had made an effort to dress up in jeans and clean shirts, even Limp, whose hair normally looked so greasy. ‘Thanks, Limp.’ She took the beer from him and joined the conversation about who could end up best and fairest this year. Limp wanted to lay bets on who’d win and who’d kick the first goal of the season.

  ‘My bet’s on Willo senior again,’ said Spud’s dad, Ian.

  ‘I just hope the boys manage to win a game this year,’ said Randy Brookman. He hooked his thumb through the belt loop on his jeans, his bent fingers thick and calloused. Randy only had daughters so Limp was his full-time worker.

  ‘Hey, sis?’ said Jasper, touching her shoulder five minutes later. ‘Troy wants to get started. Are you going to read out the list or will he?’

  Indi’s eyes scanned the room for Troy. He was over the other side with a box full of footy jumpers. Her heart leaped. She’d tried not to search the room for him earlier, too scared to see what his reaction to her would be. Now that she had him in her sights her pulse raced. Thank god it wasn’t audible, although it echoed in her ears over the noise of the crowd. Troy wore dark denim jeans and a simple white shirt with black writing on the sleeves. His face was clean-shaven and his hair flopped gorgeously; her fingers were itching to run through it. Troy stood back up from checking something and his eyes went straight to her as if he could sense her gaze.

  She trembled from the contact. Trying to get control, she forced a smile and mouthed, ‘I’ll be over in a tick.’ Jasper was still standing, waiting. ‘I’ll go see him,’ she said. Tegan smiled and gave her a wink.

  ‘I’ll see you after the presentation,’ she said to Tegan and then began to cross the room, around the tables and chairs towards Troy. Slow steady steps. She should be trying to look graceful but Indi was just trying to walk without falling over.

  ‘Hey, Troy.’ Light and peppy was what she was going for, not lightheaded and panting.

  ‘Indi,’ he replied. She’d get a better response from a concussed footballer. He held one of the jumpers up, checking it out. It was probably the first time he’d seen the team colours. Green came over the shoulders of the jumper, meeting in the middle and then splitting away under the arms. Underneath that were three stripes of red, white and black. The socks were similar with stripes of red, white and black with green bands at the top.

  ‘Not bad, hey,’ she said.

  Troy nodded and pulled a list from his pocket. He passed it to Indi, his fingers holding only the farthest corner of the paper. No chance of accidentally touching him. ‘Thanks. I’ll call the numbers if you want to hand out the jumpers. A fair few new people I haven’t seen before. Better turn out than I expected,’ he said.

  ‘You reckon? I’ve been rattling a few cages, trying to get some of the old legends to come tonight. They like seeing who gets their old number.’ Indi glanced around the room that was almost empty except for the crowd by the bar. ‘I remember when you could hardly walk in here it was so packed. All the old players revelled in heckling the new young players, and telling them stories of when they played. My dad should really be here,’ she said more to herself. She should have made him come.

  Troy was watching her, his face expressionless.

  ‘Sorry,’ Indi mumbled. ‘Shall we start?’

  He nodded and she found herself trying to figure him out. He was so hard to read. Still, it was nice just to be near him. He smelt divine, ma
sculine. Her skin tingled with the thought of being close to his smooth jaw, her lips close enough to touch his skin.

  ‘We’ll do this over by the bar where the microphone’s set up,’ she said, pointing to the corner.

  Troy picked up the box and followed her back across the floor. A few families had moved to the nearby tables, while the young blokes stayed by the bar.

  Indi glanced back and noticed Troy’s eyes trailing up her legs. Was he checking her out or just looking ahead, she wondered? She kicked the end of a chair and stumbled but gathered herself before making a spectacle.

  She stood next to Patrick, who already had the microphone in his hand. As club President he’d have the first say. He was taking after their dad, who’d been President for years. That was just one more reason why this club was buried so deep in Indi’s heart and why it felt like home. Their home had always come alive during footy season. The excitement, the banter, the pride. The Wilsons loved their football.

  ‘Hey, Pat, where’s Maddie?’

  ‘Ah, she’s not feeling so well. She’s fine – just coming down with a flu or something.’

  ‘Okay. Maybe I’ll go see her soon. We haven’t had a good chat in ages.’

  Patrick smiled, resembling their father more than he’d like to admit. ‘She’d like that.’

  ‘We ready to go?’ asked Troy, glancing at Patrick. He seemed so in control, whereas Indi was just about melting in a pool of desire. It didn’t help when Troy ignored her. In fact, it only made her want him more.

  Patrick nodded and got everyone’s attention as he made his welcome speech. ‘Thank you all for coming in tonight. It’s great to see some familiar faces, especially our club legends. Welcome. We’re off to a great start to the year with our new coach, Troy Mitchell. He knows his stuff and I’m sure he’ll help whip us all into shape so we can play some great footy and make you all proud. Tonight, Indi will be calling up each player and Troy will be handing out the jumpers. Thanks all for coming and supporting the club.’ He handed the microphone to Indi.

  ‘Great to see you all here. This year is going to be big. We have a fabulous coach and a team full of young blokes ready to get us a win.’ A cheer rang out. ‘So please get behind the lads this year, and we hope to see you at all the games.’ Indi turned to Troy and gave him a nod. ‘First up with number two, worn previously by local legend Randy, is Limp Brookman.’ Troy held up a colourful Saints jersey as Limp came to collect it. Then it was Killer Dunn, with number four.