Outback Heart

by Palmer, Fiona

  Sure. See you at 3 then?

  Troy was about to text back ‘It’s a date’ before he realised his mistake.

  Will do, thanks.

  He sat down in his chair, leaning back and stretching out his muscles. It wasn’t a date. Indi was just showing him the sights. Troy was trying so hard to control his thoughts, to overthrow what the other part of him was whispering. You enjoy spending time with her. You like her. Of course he liked her, she was friendly and into footy. A good friend. Ha! Just keep telling yourself that, the voice whispered.

  *

  Troy parked at the side of the Wilsons’ house, next to Indi’s ute. It was well used, the back tray was full of tools and equipment, and inside it was coated with chaff and stray grains of wheat and barley. He smiled. She was a different sort, but in a good way.

  Stepping towards the back door, he paused to knock but saw Indi wave from behind the glass. She finished putting on a black jacket over her red checked shirt before opening the door.

  ‘Hey, perfect timing,’ she said. ‘I’ve only just got home and showered. Been working with bullock barley today and it’s itchy as hell.’

  Her eyes were bright, her skin slightly pink from the shower and her wet hair was pulled back into a tight bun.

  Troy averted his gaze, spotting a collection of paint markers in a Milo tin by the back door.

  Indi sensed his curiosity. ‘That’s Dad’s pet project,’ she said and laughed. ‘During summer when the bobtails come out, Dad paints each one he finds in our yard with a strip of paint and then he names them. Yellow is Yanna, red is Russell, blue is Bob – anyway, you get my drift. He likes to know if it’s the same bobtails that come back each time. So if you spot one, make sure to let Dad know,’ she said as she shut the glass sliding door.

  ‘Well, one can never have too many pets,’ he replied.

  ‘Russell comes back the most but poor Bob met with Jasper’s ute tyre a while back, although he hasn’t told Dad yet.’ Indi rolled her eyes and Troy smiled.

  Indi headed towards her ute but Troy gestured to his. ‘Jump in mine. I’ll drive,’ he offered.

  Indi glanced inside her ute and scrunched up her nose. ‘Yeah, actually that’s probably a good plan.’

  He opened the door for her and she shot him a funny look. ‘I’ve never had anyone open a door for me before. Thanks. It’s nice to be treated like a lady every now and then. Most people around here forget,’ she said, getting in.

  There was no way anyone could forget that Indi was an attractive, desirable woman. He could see how they would feel a little intimidated by her though – her strength, her ability to shine without knowing it and her determination. It was an intoxicating mix. Troy got in behind the wheel, and the fresh scent of lavender mixed with rose assaulted his senses. The lavender reminded him of Peta, always. He tried to shake off the memory like an annoying fly. If only it were that easy.

  ‘Although,’ she continued as she put her belt on, ‘Jasper has shut a door on me before. We were in the city, just kids then, and we’d been fighting in the back as usual. Anyway we climbed out but Jasper shut the door before I was clear and my finger got slammed in it. He jumped to open it again when I started yelling, but he couldn’t. The door was locked. Old-school car, so there I was waiting with my finger jammed in the locked door while Dad’s trying to open his door and crawl through to unlock mine.’ Indi wiggled her fingers. ‘It was all right, nothing broken, but it shut Jasper up for the rest of the day.’

  ‘No wonder you grew up tough.’ Shaking his head, he started his ute. ‘Right, let’s go see the sights of Hyden,’ he said, forcing a smile. Already he was regretting agreeing to spend the afternoon with her. Getting into his ute with her felt like he’d just stepped on a rabbit trap. It was as painful as hell, her scent and her body taunted him, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t leave. Pleasure and pain.

  ‘Well, as a proud Hydenite, let me be your guide,’ she said in an elevated voice. ‘Did you know over 110,000 visitors come here to see the Wave Rock granite cliff each year? It’s fifteen metres high and 110 metres long. Its shape was moulded by weathering and water erosion. In 1960, some crystals from Wave Rock were dated as being 2700 million years old, amongst the oldest in Australia.’

  ‘Really? That’s pretty cool.’

  Indi pointed out the way to the rock as she replied. ‘Yes it is. You should have brought your surfboard. You could have got a photo just like all the other tourists,’ she teased.

  ‘My surfboard’s back home in my old room, wasting away.’ Troy followed her directions and parked his ute beside a clump of mallee trees, all the while aware of Indi’s eyes studying him. ‘What?’ he asked eventually.

  Indi screwed up her face. ‘I’m trying to imagine you in a pair of boardies and hanging onto a surfboard. It’s just not working.’

  ‘Are you saying you don’t think I can relax and have fun?’

  She smiled coyly and climbed out of his ute. What did she think of him? He jumped out and caught up to her.

  ‘No, I didn’t say that. You’re putting words in my mouth,’ she said, continuing her pace. ‘See, through here is the rock and back over the road is the Wildflower shop and the wildlife park. We can go in for a look after if you like. I’ll shout you a cuppa and cake.’ Indi stepped around a she-oak, leading towards the rusty browns of the granite rock on the other side.

  Troy let her change the subject but his mind lingered on the question of what she really thought of him.

  ‘Well, what do you think?’ Indi asked as they crunched their way over broken rocks at the base of the huge granite wave. ‘Awesome, hey?’

  Troy looked up, feeling the power arching over him. It was a huge wave frozen midway through breaking. The rock face was striped with earthy tones from years of water running over its surface and the wave stretched for over a hundred metres. To stand beside something so ancient was amazing.

  ‘It is pretty cool,’ he said, turning to Indi who stood with her hands on her hips, admiring the wave.

  ‘I know, right? It always makes me feel inspired and energised.’ Indi smiled. ‘We always came here as kids. Pat, Jasper and I would get on our bikes, ride over and spend most of the day running around playing. It wasn’t as touristy back then and we would build cubbies in the bush and hunt for lizards. Then as we got older the boys tried to ditch me so they could bring their girlfriends here and make out.’

  ‘And you didn’t bring your boyfriends?’

  Indi burst out laughing. It was so light and carefree.

  ‘What boyfriends? I didn’t get one until I was away at high school in Perth. I’ve actually never brought anyone here,’ she said. ‘Besides you.’ Indi brushed her hand against the rock face, her head turned away from him but he could see colour rising up her neck.

  ‘How come you went to high school in Perth?’ he asked.

  ‘Um, because we only have a primary school here. The nearest high school is miles away and Mum wanted me to go to her high school in the city.’ Indi beckoned him, ‘Come on, I’ll take you to Hippo’s Yawn.’

  The walk was refreshing: the damp smell of earth, the lichen carpets and mosses growing along the rocks. Indi pointed out a few rock lizards scurrying to hide under small flat rocks.

  ‘I could tell you another story about the time our Jack Russell, Patch, went over the side of the rock,’ said Indi. ‘He loved chasing the lizards and took off after one and ended up shooting off over the side of the rock near the wave and rolling all the way down. Lucky bugger was fine bar a few scrapes and sores. Think he only survived because he was so small. I don’t think a bigger dog would have fared so well.’ She led him through the throat of Hippo’s Yawn, which indeed looked like a giant hippopotamus’s open mouth. The magpies were calling from their treetop branches while willie wagtail wrens flapped about the lower branches.

  Indi stopped by a boulder and climbed up to sit on top of it. She stared out over the bushland. ‘It’s been years since I’ve been up this
way. Sometimes you just forget to take time out and appreciate the things you’ve got. I forgot how beautiful and calming it is here.’

  Troy climbed up beside her. ‘I think you need to relax more than I do,’ said Troy quietly.

  Indi glanced at him out the corner of her eyes, and sighed. ‘Maybe. But there’s just no time.’

  ‘Have you ever thought of letting some things go so you can make time for yourself? You don’t have to be Wonder Woman. No one would think anything less of you.’ Troy held back the urge to touch her, to stroke her back. Instead he leaned across and nudged her shoulder with his.

  ‘You make it sound so easy,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Why do you do so much, Indi?’ he asked as the cold afternoon air wrapped around them. ‘CWA, Telecentre, Progress Association, Trevor and all the footy stuff as well.’

  She looked at him questioningly.

  ‘Yes, I’m aware of all the pies you have your finger in,’ he said.

  Indi pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. The sounds of the birds eased the growing silence between them as she picked at a thread on her old jeans.

  ‘After Mum died,’ Indi began – she was so softly spoken Troy had to lean towards her – ‘I don’t know. I guess I just stepped into her roles.’ Indi turned to him. ‘Coming home from life in the city, coming back to spend every moment with Mum, to be there for her, to care for her, gave us such a close bond. It made it all the more difficult when she finally passed. I lost my mum and my best friend. But I love helping out Trevor,’ she said. ‘He’s like my grandfather and I would never give up helping him.’ She seemed horrified at the thought.

  ‘But why the CWA? Surely they don’t expect you to keep helping out?’

  ‘No, I guess not. Maybe it’s just me. I feel like I need to support everything in town just to keep it going. And I guess I feel like I’d be letting Mum down if I didn’t. In a way, staying busy helps. I feel closer to her, doing what she did.’ Her voice trembled and Troy squeezed his fists.

  ‘I don’t think your mum would want you to burn out, Indi. I think she’d like you to enjoy life, do things for yourself. Like today.’

  ‘Do you stop and enjoy life?’ she asked, her chin resting on her arm.

  ‘Yeah, I do. I love to sit by the oval on a cold night, like after training when it’s quiet. Just me and the smell of the grass. That’s my moment, that’s when I’m thankful for being alive.’

  Indi frowned.

  ‘What? Is that too weird?’ he said.

  ‘No, it’s not that. I just think that you might appreciate the world, but you don’t live in it. I mean, you don’t seem to let people in. You mix with people but in a way that avoids you ever having to share yourself.’

  Now it was Troy’s time to look away and admire the landscape. He hadn’t expected Indi to throw him a curve ball. How had she pegged him already? It was unnerving. He didn’t like people looking too deeply for the scars they’d find. ‘I move around a lot. It’s easier this way.’

  Indi made a noise like a buzzer. ‘That was my bullshit detector,’ she said with a smile. ‘I know you’re hiding or running from something, Troy Yoda Mitchell, I just can’t work out what. But if you’re not ready to share, that’s fine. We can just enjoy the afternoon, right?’

  Troy didn’t know what to say.

  Indi glanced at him. ‘If I try to stop and smell the roses more, would you at least relax around me, be more of a friend, one you don’t have to be so guarded around?’

  He thought about what she’d asked, already aware he’d shared more with her than he’d wanted. Would it kill him? He wondered if maybe they could be just good friends.

  ‘Okay, then. You have yourself a deal. But I’ll be keeping an eye on you, just to make sure you’re not trying to be Mother Teresa,’ Troy said. ‘And it would be nice to see you turn up at training on time for once.’

  Indi sat up, her mouth open, ready to protest, before she smiled. ‘And I’ll be watching you too. None of this moody stuff. It won’t kill you to wear your heart on your sleeve a bit.’

  Oh, but it would, Troy thought. If only Indi knew what she was asking of him.

  Straightening up, she slapped him gently on the arm. ‘Come on. Let’s go and have a look at the white kangaroo. Have you still got time?’

  They got off the boulder. ‘Yep, a few hours.’

  ‘Cool. Jasper’s got his foot up, glued to the TV, I think I’m safe for a few hours as well.’ As they made their way through the bush Indi started chatting about Jasper, and the dilemma of his broken ankle.

  ‘Tell me about it. My sister fell out of the truck when she was younger and broke her leg. I ended up carrying her everywhere. Lucky for me she was only ten. Jasper would be a tad heavier.’

  ‘Oh, no. How did she fall out of the truck? You didn’t push her? Brothers are horrible like that,’ she said with a smirk.

  ‘No, I’m not that bad,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t even there. Her foot got caught in the torn upholstery on the seat. Dad felt horrible.’

  Indi paused, her eyes squinting. ‘It’s nice to hear you talk about your family. So you just have one sister?’

  ‘Yeah, Geraldine. She’s a few years younger than me.’

  ‘Where is she? What does she do?’ Indi asked.

  They were simple questions but they put him on edge. He shrugged. ‘She’s in Perth.’ At least he thought she still was.

  Indi was waiting, her head tilted. It made her look dazzling in the afternoon light that filtered down through the trees. ‘She’s studying nursing at uni,’ he managed to get out before turning to continue on through the bush. He felt Indi step in behind him.

  ‘You know your sister’s fall reminds me of when Pat came off the motorbike on a mate’s farm . . .’ said Indi.

  She continued on as if she hadn’t noticed the tension in Troy’s voice. He was grateful that she didn’t push it.

  As they swapped innocent stories, Troy felt like a thin layer of shell had been chipped away. He just hoped there were no repercussions from opening up with Indi, even though it wasn’t much. But it had been so long since he’d enjoyed spending time with a girl, just talking and sharing stories, like he had with Peta. To talk about the past without it hurting. It was scary going down that path again, even just with a friend, but maybe Indi could help him. While she was beside him, his demons were kept at bay and he wondered if today had changed something. For the first time in years he actually felt good.

  19

  INDI stepped into the Karlgarin club, her work clothes covered in dust and her skin itching. She waved to Chopper behind the bar and headed for the showers. She had just enough time to get cleaned up before the others arrived.

  Indi was sitting at the bar on the green high-backed stool with a cold beer in her hand, chatting to one of the locals, when Jasper, Tegan and her dad arrived. Tegan held the door open for Jasper, who was still getting used to his crutches. He clanged them against the metal-framed doorway. It sounded like Jasper was trying to fit a double-decker bus through a small tunnel. From the cursing she could hear, he might as well have been. When Jasper finally cleared the doorway, Allan appeared. Her dad was wearing the new blue shirt she’d given him for Christmas last year.

  ‘Hey, you guys. Where’s Jaffa?’ she said, joining them in the front bar by the pool table.

  ‘He’s working late and didn’t feel like coming,’ Tegan said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

  ‘You been here long, sis?’ said Jasper, eyeing off her beer.

  ‘Long enough to change out of my work clothes. Quite handy that I was working across the road at the bin. Do you want to order dinner now before the Friday rush?’ she asked.

  Jasper nodded. He was wearing trackpants – he couldn’t get much else on with his cast – but he wore a nice shirt and she could smell his aftershave. Usually he was too lazy to put any on.

  ‘I’ll order for us. What do you want?’ asked Tegan.

 
; ‘The smell of garlic prawns has been driving me crazy,’ said Indi, handing her money to Tegan.

  Indi, Allan and a shuffling Jasper went around the corner to get drinks and settled up at the bar not far from the dining tables. ‘How’s it going, bro?’ Indi asked as she watched him climb his way onto the stool, his crutches leaning up against the bar.

  ‘Bloody better now. Shit, remind me not to do this again. It’s fricken annoying.’

  ‘I second that,’ Allan said dryly. ‘I need this drink more than you bloody do.’ He reached for his cold glass and headed back around the corner to chat to Chopper, and no doubt to get a break from Jasper.

  ‘Come on, there must be some perks?’ said Indi, noticing that he was watching Tegan.

  ‘Bugger off, Indi,’ he growled. ‘Tegan’s been a great help. I like having her around. Much better than you,’ he said. They went quiet as Tegan arrived back with their table number.

  Indi handed over Tegan’s beer.

  ‘Thanks, mate. Man, what a week. Looking after your brother is hard work,’ said Tegan, with a dramatic sigh.

  ‘Aw, come on, Teegs. You know you love helping me put my pants on.’ He winked at her. ‘Now I just have to convince her I need more help in the shower.’

  Tegan threw her head back and laughed, carefree and wholehearted. Indi hadn’t seen Tegan so relaxed in a while.

  ‘I’m glad Dad came,’ said Indi.

  ‘Yeah. Tegan won him over,’ said Jasper, giving Tegan a conspirator’s glance.

  Indi released a huge sigh of relief.

  ‘Gee, Indi. You need to relax.’ Jasper’s brow creased as he reached over to shake her shoulder.

  Indi smiled. ‘Huh, that’s what Troy reckons too.’

  ‘Ah, so Troy has noticed you, then, hey?’ asked Tegan, brushing her long locks over her shoulder. A soft cream leather jacket fitted snugly around her tiny waist and sat just above her skinny leg jeans.

  ‘No, more like he commented on how I’m always late for training.’ She rolled her eyes as she watched Jasper glance from her to Tegan and back again. ‘We kinda came to a deal. He said he’d open up more if I didn’t take on so much.’