Outback Heart

by Palmer, Fiona

  He’d noticed a difference around town as well. Phil and Jenny would chat to him daily about football. Even Kingy had stopped him to talk football in the street. He was greeted like royalty, everyone wanting to quiz him on the next game. When he went for his paper that morning he saw signs up displaying the game times and warnings that the shop would be ‘closed for the game’.

  He’d been shocked last week when he’d arrived at the match. Cars and utes were filling up the parking area, people wearing the team colours, people sitting in chairs out the front of the club and around the edge of the oval. He didn’t realise Hyden had so many people. People shouted out ‘Yoda’ everywhere he went and he’d had to admit, it felt like home.

  White fog formed in the air as he breathed out. He wanted to change the drill but he’d been preoccupied watching Indi mess around with Patrick. They were supposed to be practising some angle goals but instead they were wrestling over the ball. He chuckled as he watched Pat pick her up, lifting her over his head like a weightlifter, and then dropped her back down into his arms while she threw punches at him. When her feet touched the ground she pushed him away and snatched the ball off the ground, running to the open goal. Pat tackled her before she could get the kick off, their laughter echoing across the field.

  His chest hurt. He missed Geraldine. His sister was living in Perth while she went to university to study nursing. That made him even sadder. She’d hated it when he was in hospital – all the nurses got to see him while she’d had to wait. Gerry, who was only twelve at the time, had decided there and then that she would be an ICU nurse so that she would always be allowed in. He didn’t expect her to stick to her word but she’d done just that. He was impressed but also upset that his illness had had such an impact on her. He knew Gerry wanted to see him again, so did his family and friends, but he couldn’t do it. He’d promised himself to spare them the pain.

  Troy checked his watch. It was time to finish up – no point starting the other drill. The boys had trained hard tonight.

  He blew the whistle that hung around his neck. ‘That’s it for tonight, lads. Go for a cool down.’

  As the guys headed off for a jog, Indi picked up all the balls and put them back in the carry bag. Troy admired her long legs and firm backside. She was a funny mix. Lean and attractive – actually, she was breathtaking – but in her unassuming way she didn’t stress over her appearance and was just at home in a pair of jeans as she was in the Eagles footy jumper that she wore to training. The thing that really got him, ticked him off actually, was whose jumper she wore. He’d just about choked the first time he’d seen her wearing Freddie’s number. He envied Freddie enough, he didn’t need to see Indi idolise him as well.

  Since his recruitment to the West Coast Eagles Freddie had become a star player and idolised by lots of people. He hadn’t become captain for nothing. But it irked Troy that Indi was one of Freddie’s worshippers. Troy was bloody proud of Freddie. He just hadn’t been able to tell him that. Like with everyone else Troy cared for, he’d walked away from Freddie. It was better this way. He couldn’t hurt him.

  Freddie’s life was much better without Troy in it.

  ‘Hey, you. You’ve got a massive wrinkle, right there,’ said Indi, touching his forehead. ‘What were you just thinking about?’

  Troy shook himself from his thoughts. He saw the concern on Indi’s face and it triggered emotions in him that he didn’t like.

  ‘I was thinking that you obviously don’t own any other footy jumpers,’ he teased.

  Indi scoffed. ‘Why would I want any others?’ She squinted at him. ‘Actually, I did have Woosha’s for years but I grew out of that. Pat got me an Eagles jumper with Freddie’s number on it for my twentieth birthday. Best bloody present he’s ever given me.’

  Patrick had finished his cool down, and overheard their conversation as he walked towards them. ‘Hey, I had to. You couldn’t stop banging on about Freddie.’ Pat raised his voice. ‘Oh Freddie, he’s so fine. He’s amazing!’ Pat slapped his hands against his face like a teenage girl at a One Direction concert.

  ‘Piss off, Pat.’ Indi laughed.

  Troy felt as if his borrowed heart was being crushed in a giant fist. He didn’t like feeling jealous one bit.

  Pat put his arm around Indi and pulled her in close. ‘You wanna come home for dinner, sis? Maddie’s cooking her curry,’ Pat added. His hand squeezed her shoulder.

  Indi glanced at Troy, and he knew she was remembering their talk up at the rock.

  ‘Sure, Pat. I’d love to.’

  She shot Troy a look that said, See, I can relax.

  ‘You wanna come too, Yoda? Plenty to go around.’ said Pat.

  ‘I would but Mrs Bateson has invited me over for her lamb roast. I could smell the damn thing cooking when I left so I’m bloody starving.’

  ‘Maybe another time, then?’

  ‘Sure, Pat. Thanks for the offer.’ He was getting dinner invitations left right and centre. Soon he’d forget how to cook.

  ‘See you on Saturday, Troy,’ said Indi, waving as she walked off with Pat.

  ‘Saturday, Yoda,’ said Pat, giving him a wink over his sister’s head. He would, in fact, see them all tomorrow night. It was Indi’s birthday and Pat and Jasper had organised a surprise party out at Terra Vista, a restaurant about ten minutes out of town. Troy wasn’t sure how he’d been invited, but Jasper said a few of their mates were going.

  Troy watched them walk off, arm in arm, and he wondered what Indi would feel like in his arms. He was sure his imagination couldn’t do it justice.

  He began to walk to his ute, shouting his farewells to the rest of the blokes as they left. Killer was leaving with the Kiwis in the white mini-van, which doubled as their shearing bus. As the gravel crunched under his feet, Troy began to think about seeing Indi tomorrow. She’d been on his mind a lot lately. She reminded him who he used to be and it terrified him. He couldn’t afford to be that guy again.

  On the night of Indi’s birthday, Tegan and Jaffa picked Troy up just after six. He climbed into the back of Tegan’s little blue Mazda. Jaffa was driving and they headed down the road towards Narembeen. Troy put his esky full of beer beside Jaffa’s on the back seat. Pat had warned him it was a BYO restaurant. He glanced at the pocket that held his pills.

  ‘Hey, Yoda. Do you think the Eagles will win against Freo in the derby tomorrow?’ Jaffa asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

  ‘I bloody hope so.’ As hard as it was, Troy never missed watching Freddie play. Nowadays Freddie wore his red hair clipped short and he’d grown into his lanky body. The commentators last week had said Freddie played with great heart and that he was inspiring to watch. It reminded Troy of the words Freddie had once said to him. ‘You are my inspiration, Troy, did you know that? When I can’t run any harder I just think about you and then I’m flying.’ Feeling a wave of nostalgia, Troy sent Freddie a text message as he sat in the back seat. Indi was making him soft.

  Good luck tomorrow, mate.

  He didn’t know if he’d get anything back. He tried hard to keep Freddie as far away as possible. It was better for everyone.

  Thanks, Troy. Call me some time, yeah?

  Freddie had never given up on Troy; even after all the years he’d spent trying to push him away. Freddie was relentless, a bit like he was on the footy field – he refused to let Troy fade away. Mates didn’t come much better than Freddie. Troy didn’t understand why Freddie didn’t just let him go. Didn’t he see he was trying to save him too?

  ‘So did you bring a present?’ Tegan asked, turning around in her seat.

  He forced a smile and nodded. ‘But you’ll just have to wait and see.’

  ‘Indi’s hard to buy for. She’d rather a football jumper over a dress, she’s not big on perfumes and she doesn’t take time out to read or watch movies.’ Tegan sighed.

  ‘Not like you, babe. I know what you like,’ said Jaffa. Tegan squirmed in her seat.

  ‘Maybe I should just stea
l her, and make her watch a movie with me,’ she said.

  Troy laughed. ‘I don’t think it’s possible for her to sit still that long.’

  Jaffa slowed down, pulling into a driveway with a big cream brick fence. The drive was lined with olive trees, guiding them up to a large building shining with lights.

  ‘It’s nice here, Troy. You can actually see traditional olive pressing sometimes. Best olives, and the food’s divine.’ Tegan opened her door after Jaffa stopped in the car park. ‘Good, Indi’s not here yet.’ Tegan pulled out a paper bag with a gift in it while Jaffa moved around to get the esky.

  Troy picked up his own esky along with Indi’s gift.

  They walked towards the terracotta-coloured building. The restaurant was lined with glass-panel doors and windows like something from Italy. Tegan led them through to the restaurant. A big table was set up for them. Patrick and Maddie were already there, as was Trevor.

  ‘Okay, everyone,’ Tegan said as her phone pinged. ‘Jasper says they’re just pulling in now.’ Everyone stood up, ready to greet the guest of honour.

  Indi walked in with her dad and Jasper, who was still on crutches. When she saw them all at the table waiting she frowned, turned and said a few words to Jasper. By the smirk on his face and the frown on Allan’s, he guessed they weren’t, ‘Oh, how wonderful – a surprise!’

  ‘Happy Birthday, Indi,’ they shouted. Everyone started hugging and kissing her. Troy knew he had to do the same, even if it ached to do so.

  She looked radiant in skinny jeans, black boots, a long black V-neck top and her grey scarf. Her hair was out and reflected the soft light.

  Troy reached for her, his arms out and she stepped into them. She smelt as good as she looked. ‘Happy Birthday, Indi,’ he said softly. He felt her tremble as she hugged him back. It was too much – Troy pulled away. He couldn’t kiss her cheek. It was too smooth and far too close to her lips. To hide his feelings, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box.

  ‘Troy, you didn’t have to get me a present,’ she said, her cheeks blushing pink and her eyes sparkling. He needed to move away from her: she was intoxicating.

  ‘It’s not much, but you’ve earned it.’ He smiled and stepped back to his seat. He needed a cold beer, fast. He quickly dug one of his beers from the esky and managed to restrain himself from dunking his head into the ice to cool off.

  ‘Open it. Then you can open mine,’ said Tegan, who had sat down at the table.

  Everyone was watching Indi. Indi’s glistening lips burst into a wide grin as she unwrapped the coach’s whistle. ‘Oh, my god. Troy, I love it.’

  He wasn’t expecting her to throw her arms around him at he sat there, nor to feel the gentle pressure of her soft lips against his cheek. His grip tightened around his cold drink. Luckily she moved away before his grip broke the glass.

  ‘Look, Dad.’ Indi blew a short burst on her whistle.

  ‘Oh, no, Yoda. Now we’ll have her blowing that all the time.’ Jasper was frowning at him from where he stood beside Indi, slouched against his crutches. Patrick was laughing uncontrollably and Allan reached for his ears.

  When Patrick stopped laughing he hugged Indi. ‘Please, don’t use that on me at training.’

  ‘Why not? It’ll be so useful.’ She blew the whistle. ‘Drop and give me fifty.’ She laughed as both Jasper and Patrick shot Troy daggers.

  ‘I couldn’t think of anything else,’ Troy said in his defence.

  ‘It’s bad enough that you have a whistle,’ said Jaffa with a smile. ‘Now Indi too? She can’t take that to training, right?’ Then he glanced at Tegan. ‘Maybe I could borrow it for at home – I could whistle for you, sweetie.’ Jaffa put his hand on hers but Tegan pulled it back and reached for her glass of water. ‘Come on, it would be perfect.’ Troy noticed Jasper flinch beside him, like a gun cocked, ready for firing.

  ‘I’m not your dog,’ she snapped.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re all so worried about,’ Trevor said. ‘I can hardly hear it.’

  There was a fresh burst of laughter. The rest of the night was just as entertaining. Indi was at the head of the table, so there was plenty of distance between her and Troy, and he could handle the occasional meeting of eyes and shared smiles. The owner came to clear away their dishes. The food was great and Troy couldn’t help but laugh at Trevor, who had ordered the pasta and struggled to keep it on his fork.

  Allan stood up and cleared his throat. Everyone turned to listen.

  ‘She’s a special girl, our Indi. And a special girl deserves a special twenty-fourth birthday present. Can you come here, darling?’ Allan held out his arms. Indi got up and hugged him. ‘Happy Birthday, Indianna.’

  Allan pointed to Jasper and as Indi turned she could see the large present in his hand. Her grin was huge.

  ‘Open it,’ said Tegan.

  Indi held the large present against her waist as she pulled off the paper. Troy could see her eyes sparkling with tears as she looked at the gift. She put the frame down, turned and hugged Allan. They stood like that for a long time before they pulled apart. Indi and Allan both swiped at the tears on their cheeks.

  ‘Thank you, Dad. I love it,’ she whispered.

  Allan nodded and gestured to Jasper. ‘Jasper got it all framed.’

  After hugging her brother and shedding some more tears, Indi held up her gift. It was a beautiful collection of photos of Indi with her mum, in a rustic jarrah frame. Even Troy felt the lump rise in his throat. The central photo of Indi and her mum sitting in a patch of wildflowers and laughing was perfect. He hadn’t seen Indi that happy; her whole face was alive and beautiful.

  As the conversation resumed Troy remembered that he had to head back to the car to take his pills.

  ‘Jaffa, is the car unlocked?’

  ‘Yeah, mate, of course.’

  He left the table, and the chatter. Luckily they were the only ones in the restaurant. Tegan said it might be closing down as they didn’t get enough customers to make it viable. It was a shame because it was a beaut little spot.

  Troy grabbed his bottle of water and fumbled through the side pocket in the back seat for his medication. He cupped the pills in his hand and counted them out before swallowing a few at a time.

  ‘You got a headache?’ asked Indi, who was just coming out from the toilets, which were just between the car park and the front door.

  ‘Yeah,’ he said, shoving the last few in his mouth and washing them down.

  ‘That’s a lot for a headache.’ Indi didn’t come closer but Troy knew she could see plenty from where she was.

  He took his time, putting his water and pills away, shut the door and walked over to her. Her eyes were large and questioning. He didn’t like lying to Indi. ‘Just some other medication.’ He gave her a wink and took her arm to guide her back inside. She smiled but he could tell she was concerned. ‘Nothing to worry about,’ he said, trying to reassure her.

  Indi paused, making Troy stop beside her. Her hand went over his, squeezing it tenderly. ‘But I do worry.’ She was gazing at him. Just as she started to gravitate towards him, he pulled back. Why had he not noticed that desire in her eyes before? He pulled his hand free. She was waiting for something he could never give her.

  ‘Let’s get you back to your guests,’ he said. Indi sprang back and nodded. He could tell she was upset, clenching her jaw. He resisted the urge to tuck back the stray hairs that had blown across her cheek in the cold night breeze. As though she could read his thoughts, she shivered. Putting his hand on the small of her back, he guided her gently. ‘Come on.’

  He opened the door for her and let her walk in ahead but she glanced back at him. Her perfect heart-shaped face was full of concern, confusion, and among it all there shone a glimmer of determination. He knew she wasn’t ready to give up on him and tonight probably just made her even more strong-minded to figure him out. Damn, she was a lot like Freddie.

  When he got back to the table Tegan was carryin
g a cake out from the kitchen. The candles were all lit and she placed it in front of Indi.

  It was a big black forest cake and the light from the candles made Indi look angelic. She caught Troy’s eye and he could feel the current run between them. She smiled, closed her eyes and leaned down to blow the candles out. Everyone erupted in cheers but Troy was too busy hoping that he wasn’t her wish. Because if he was, then she’d just wasted it.

  22

  A week after her party and Indi still smiled when she thought about the beautiful present her dad had arranged for her. But right now it was game day and she had to push that to the back of her mind and focus on the game.

  ‘F? What the hell can I go as starting with the letter F?’ Indi asked, as she threw up her hands. She was standing at the edge of the oval, the earth trembling as guys crashed and fell while fighting for possession. Players were shouting for the ball, huffing and puffing and thumping their feet as they ran.

  Tegan scrunched up her nose as she thought. ‘The party’s tonight, Indi. How can you just be thinking about this now?’ Tegan asked. ‘Jesus, you were the one who organised it.’ Tegan laughed at her friend. After a few seconds she held up a finger. ‘Oh, I’ve got it. I’m thinking of someone and you’ll need a can of red hair spray. Can you guess?’ she said.

  Indi was only half listening to the conversation. Her eyes were fixed across the field, watching Spud run with the ball. ‘You’re hot. You’re hot, Spud,’ she screamed just as the Kulin–Kondinin player threw himself at Spud. But Spud had managed to get a handball off to Patrick, who’d just lost his tagger. Indi cheered and clapped as Patrick bounced the ball once, sidestepped another player, bounced again and let off a banana kick from the side pocket, sailing it end over end through the big white posts for a goal. ‘You beauty. Go Pat,’ she yelled, jumping up and down.