Catch A Falling Superstar: A New Adult Erotic Romance

by Steen, J. Emily

  I pointed to the band-aid on my arm. “Patched and inoculated. Good to go.”

  “I see. And do you want to go? Not interested in watching the shoot for a while? I was hoping you might stick around.” His face was neutral, but he seemed sincere.

  I had absolutely no intention of leaving if I was allowed to stay, but I saw no need to sell myself too cheaply.

  “Okay. Well, I guess I can watch for a while. Might be fun,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

  He nodded with a shade of that knowing smirk of his on his lips, lifting his eyebrows a miniscule amount. I felt myself starting to blush. He obviously looked right through me and my amateurish attempt at acting all cool and aloof. But he played along.

  “Not your first time on a set?”

  I had to come clean.

  “No, it is. Sort of. My mother brought me to the taping of a kid's show once, in New York, but I don't remember much. Except that we were supposed to laugh and cheer on command. And we were pretty bored by the end of it.”

  “Okay. So what will happen now is what they call blocking. It means placing all the actors on the set where they're supposed to be, so that the camera and the lights get the best angle. Then they'll adjust the lights a little, then we'll rehearse the scene, then we get our makeup touched up again, and then it's the first take.”

  “You're in this scene, right?”

  “Yep. Me and Lisa. It's actually a key scene of the movie, where she and I discuss suicide. Hec – that's the director – left it until almost the end of the shoot, because he wants us to have a certain spark between us. Lisa and me, that is. I'm not sure if it might have backfired. We'll see. Well, talk of the she-devil...”

  He looked past me over my shoulder, toward the entrance to the sound stage. I turned around, just in time to see a young woman disappear behind a big, black light shade.

  “Oh,” I said weakly, “that Lisa.”

  Lisa Scalia was not as famous as Archer, because very few people were, but definitely A-list. And definitely high up on it. She was something as rare as a former Miss Universe who had been able to transform her otherworldly beauty into huge Hollywood fame. Her equally otherworldly talent helped, too.

  “That Lisa,” Archer confirmed.

  “So a seriously big time production, with you and her. What's the movie called?”

  “The working title is Cold Vengeance. But it's based on something that you have probably heard of before. You know what, how about you try to guess what it is? What the original is called, I mean? Figure it out, and I'll buy you lunch at a place of your choosing. Somewhere in town. See that chair?”

  He pointed over to one of those classic director's chairs that I had thought was just an old myth, but there really was a row of collapsible canvas chairs with names on them. I spotted his, and Lisa's, and even Melissa Scott's and Amadeo Higuita's. Those last two were nowhere to be seen.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Use mine as much as you want. But pull it away from that row. You do not want to be sitting between Lisa and Amadeo. If he ever arrives. Okay, I better get over there. I see Hec is staring at us with murder in his eyes.”

  He made an exaggeratedly murderous face at me, winked mischievously and stalked off. I couldn't help putting my hand in front of my mouth to stifle a delighted giggle. I'm such a girl sometimes.

  He turned to me briefly, still walking away.

  “Wait here, huh? I'll come over every chance I get. Look out for spotted cats with long claws. I hear they're up to no good!” The last part he yelled so loud that every head in the huge industrial sound stage turned to him. He just grinned happily to everyone.

  4

  I remained where I was and just tried to draw even closer into the scenery. I was well behind the cameras, but also pretty close to the set, so I had a good view of what was happening. I saw Lisa and Archer, as well as Hector Matheson, the acclaimed director. Well, I was pretty sure he was acclaimed, because I actually knew his name when I saw him. And I only know the names of a handful of directors, like Spielberg and James Cameron, so he was in very good company there. I probably couldn't come up with any specific movie he'd made, but I knew I would be googling him when I got home, where net surfing was cheaper. I also knew that from now he would be “my” director; I would feel a special affinity for him because I had been on one of his sets. Damn, it felt completely unreal to be here and actually be looking at three world famous people in the same place.

  It was like a huddle before a baseball game. Hector was in the middle, and he gave instructions to the crew, while Archer and Lisa were standing a little to the side, but pretty far apart. Lisa was intently studying something on her cell phone, while Archer lazily read some half-size pieces of paper that I guessed was the script.

  Then Hector placed Lisa on the set, gently taking her by the shoulders and smiling all the time, while an assistant placed Archer where he was supposed to be.

  Then there was more activity as the crew adjusted lights and cameras, and then Hector said “okay, got it” very loudly, and then Archer and Lisa walked off the set.

  Lisa just marched out of the sound stage, while Archer talked a little with some members of the crew around the main camera. Then he came over to me.

  “Got it yet?” he said.

  “Got what?”

  “Where this movie really comes from?”

  “No, not yet. Should I?”

  “No, it's a little early. If you had been able to get it from just seeing the set, it would make you a world class genius. Or just insane. One of those.”

  “You know,” I said shrewdly, “I'm pretty sure all I need is to google Hector, and there it will be.”

  He lifted his eyebrows.

  “Really? I have it on good authority that this is the most secret project in his career. And mine. No one knows, they say. Huge secrecy and multiple NDAs. Hollywood's best kept secret, my agent says.”

  That made no sense to me.

  “It seems to defeat the purpose to make a movie in secret,” I said. “Will it be launched secretly, too? Just quietly screened once for the crew and then destroyed?”

  “I know! Weird, huh? Wait.”

  He took off and ran over to the chairs he had pointed to before. He got his own and brought it back to me, then set it down and theatrically brushed a non-existent speck of dust off the seat.

  “Here, Princess Blue. Enjoy the show. The catering is over there. I think they still have some breakfast trays left. And water. Go and get some whenever you want. It's free for the taking. I have to work now. Camera rehearsal.”

  He walked back to the set and took his place. Lisa walked quickly back on set and took hers.

  Then the director yelled “action”, and the scene started. I tried to hear what was being said, but I couldn't get everything. Even though the set was dead silent, even with all the people watching, Lisa spoke her lines so softly that I only heard some of them in full. But her voice, clear and melodic as a crystal bell, was unmistakable.

  “The choice we have is so basic. We all have the choice. To be alive or to be dead,” Archer said quickly, with no emoting that I could see. Was that supposed to be the “electrifying” performance that Wikipedia talked about?

  Lisa said something, very quickly and quietly. I couldn't make it out.

  Archer continued, still flatly and disinterestedly, moving around the set a little.

  “Is it really better to take all the shit that life gives you and meekly accept it and ask for more, or do you just say “fuck you” and hand it right back, just ending it? Just making it impossible to receive any shit anyone wants to hand off to you? Because we all have that choice. Taking no more shit from anyone ever again.”

  Lisa said something very short, just reading from her script, which I noticed was in her hand. So “camera rehearsal” means just reading the lines, I figured.

  Archer said “what?”, then Lisa had a longer line, to which Archer replied “Nothing happens.” />
  Lisa read another line, very short.

  Archer: “Every idea of what happens after we die is made up by us, by humans. We just can't handle the idea of nothing. But nothing happens. It's just over. Not even blackness. Nothing. Nature is a brutal bitch, you know that. No, it's just the fear, nothing else.”

  Lisa, a little animated: “I don't believe that.”

  Archer, while pacing up and down along one wall of the set, one camera following him: “People live out their lives because they're afraid of what comes after. Of course they do. People have to deal with all kinds of crap from other people. Their bosses, their family, basic injustice, bureaucrats, governmental incompetence, being friend-zoned, whatever. Thing is, you can put a stop to all that with just one gun and one shot. One short step into the road in front of a cement truck. An even shorter step off a cliff. The only reason most people don't is that they're more afraid of what comes after death than the shit they go through here. Everyone has those thoughts at some points. But then they don't follow through. They're scared of what comes after.”

  Lisa: “You're saying that everyone is a coward.”

  Archer: “Yes! Every life has shit in it. It has more shit than good things. Much more. As soon as you realize that, you should fix it or you're pretty much a coward. And we all realize that when we're young. In our teens, at the latest.”

  Lisa's turn, but I couldn't make it out.

  Archer: “Everyone who's an adult. Let me ask you this: Do you even like this world we live in?”

  Lisa: “I like some things about it.”

  Archer: “We were born into this world with no choice. Your parents know only that you will have to take a shit-ton of crap in your life from everyone who feels that they have power over you. That's all they can guarantee you. Everyone who gets the chance to hurt you will do it as soon and as hard as they can. If not, it's because they are waiting for a better opportunity to hurt you even more.”

  Lisa: “You know that's not true.”

  Archer: “What if you knew for a fact that there was nothing after this? Just nothing, and you also know that you will be going there anyway, after a life filled to beyond capacity with humiliation and heartache and worry and trouble? Would you not just get it done and over with? Anything we do in this world is worthless and useless anyway. Nothing matters.”

  Lisa: “Don't talk like that. It makes me afraid.”

  Archer: “Like I said. We're all afraid.”

  Hector yelled “cut”, and Lisa marched off set and outside, I guessed to her trailer.

  Archer exchanged some words with Hector and a man I guessed was a producer, because he wore a suit and seemed to not have much to do.

  Then he came over to me again. I noticed that everyone in the huge hall had their eyes on him. I felt a little dizzy again. The huge and internationally famous Hollywood star came straight for me while everyone was looking. It was a little overwhelming, and I noticed a pressure in my chest. I was breathing shallow. I had to compose myself, but I still smiled at him when he approached. He kept his face neutral.

  “So,” he said. “Got it now?”

  “Maybe,” I said. “I think I do. How many guesses do I get?”

  He took a swig of his water bottle.

  “What is this, kindergarten? You get one.”

  “So then I guess I better make it count. I'll tell you when I'm sure.”

  He lifted his eyebrows.

  “Oooh, Princess Blue is secretive. Getting infected with the mood here. Okay. You have until we break for lunch. Still a couple of hours.”

  “It's a little like the original, with the topic and all, but they changed the scene a lot, right?”

  He looked at me with interest.

  “I think your guess is probably going to turn out to be right. And I'm not sure you will get any more clues from watching the actual takes.”

  “Maybe not. But I'll still keep it to myself for now.”

  “Very secretive. I like that. Okay, I have to go to get the makeup touched up before the first take. Medium shots first, that means not much emotion in the acting. We save that for the close-ups. And by the way, the costume lady was furious about the rip in the jacket. It was okay, though! I just said you did it. She said she wants to talk to you.” He was very serious.

  I felt the blood draining from my face, but before I could react, he just winked impishly, turned his back and walked with theatrical nonchalance to where the makeup department had set up shop inside the sound stage. It had been a joke. He was really putting on a show for me.

  I was pretty sure I knew which play they had adapted for a modern setting. The scene was very famous and very old. The words were different, but the topic was the same. One thing was completely different: In the original, there's no Lisa.

  The whole set got ready for the first real take. The sound boom, which looked like a huge, black crane, was lowered to where it would be just outside of shot, and then Hector yelled “Action!” and the scene started again.

  It was the same lines as before, but now Lisa and Archer were acting. There was an intensity to him that he had not displayed during the rehearsal, and Lisa played her role as an innocent, young woman. Even from my less than perfect vantage point is was pretty mesmerizing this first time. Archer was a young man who had been brought to the breaking point by misfortune, while Lisa was like a scared little sister who tried to dissuade him from killing himself.

  They ran through the whole scene a couple of times, the camera and sound boom following Archer as he paced up and down the little set like a caged tiger. Or an ocelot, maybe. Though Alfredo was not in the scene.

  Lisa and Archer got short instructions from the director between takes, just curt little things like “Archer, try to time it so that when you get to “choice”, you are looking at your father's doctorate diploma on the wall there. Lisa, leave a little room between kill and themselves. Just a heartbeat. Otherwise, don't change a thing. Perfect.”

  I noticed that they did follow his instructions closely. I was actually a little impressed. They had to remember lines and speak them in the right frame of mind, always acting, while also keeping in mind Hector's little instructions. Sure, they got paid a lot for it, but still I got a new respect for their talent. Everyone thinks they can act, right? But it seemed to me that maybe it wasn't always that easy.

  They put in five or so takes before Hector was happy. For the last two takes, he'd had no comments or instructions for the two actors. I supposed it meant that he was satisfied with what he had.

  Archer talked longer with Hector this time, while Lisa again left the set at a quick march. Even for me, who was completely new on this production that had probably gone on for weeks, it seemed a little weird. Did she have no connection to the people here at all? Well, maybe she had her reasons.

  Then Archer made a little circuit of the people working around the set, talking a and laughing easily with stage hands, electricians, camera people and sound people. He seemed to enjoy himself. Then he was at my side again.

  “What do you think so far, Blue?”

  “It's good. You said you're both holding back for these takes, but it seemed fine to me.”

  “Yeah, this is not as intense as it gets. For the close-ups, we both have to ramp it up, but not to the point where we ham it up. Hector likes restraint, but with underlying emotions shining through just a little. Try to do that at ten in the morning yourself. Not as easy as it sounds.”

  “I believe that. So are you and Hector good friends?”

  He took a second to answer.

  “Not sure anyone is a good friend of Hector. Sparks fly here sometimes. Between him and me, and especially between him and Lisa.”

  “Artistic differences?”

  “Sure. I guess. And that he's a real asshole sometimes, while Lisa is moody on this shoot. She usually isn't. Something got into her. Of course I'm always the most reasonable and easygoing person you can imagine. Never moody or difficult. Oh no.”


  He smiled angelically at me, blinking innocently with both eyes in quick succession. I couldn't help but giggle a little at this theatrical self-deprecation.

  A thought struck me.

  “Maybe she's moody because her character commits suicide by the end of this movie.”

  He narrowed his eyes sceptically.

  “Hm. Let's call that a maybe. But you've figured it out, I can tell. What is this movie, really?”

  I was sure I knew it.

  “It's Hamlet, set in modern day.”

  He nodded graciously.

  “Fine. I owe you lunch today. Come up with a place, and we'll go there.”

  “That scene is the to be or not to be scene, right? Which is a monologue in Shakespeare's play. Ophelia's not in it.”

  “Ahem. It's a soliloquy, if you don't mind. Yeah, so, no one does monologues anymore. So old-fashioned. And it does make some sense that Hamlet talks to Ophelia about those things.”

  I'd had time to think about that while watching the shoot.

  “Because she's the one who actually does commit suicide by the end, and he doesn't? That's why she's so uneasy about the whole conversation. She's open to the idea, more than she wants to be.”

  “Maybe. I didn't think about that. Could be. To me it makes sense mainly because she's the only one who loves him and cares about him. No one else would care to hear about his woes. Only her. But your perspective is pretty good. The scene has another layer if you think about it like that.”

  I was on a roll. Maybe my interpretation wasn't too bad.

  “Because she loves Hamlet,” I continued, “and he knows that, but he doesn't love her back. He friend-zoned her. And he's pretty cruel about it, too. She's not a happy camper. And now he's dangling suicide right in front of her nose. Maybe this is where she gets the idea.”

  He stared at me for a long time, betraying no emotions. Caught in the crossfire of those radiantly green lasers that he had for eyes, it got a little tense. I could feel myself going red. Here I was, the little convenience store clerk and college dropout, lecturing a world famous actor about the subtext of the movie he had been busy making for weeks or months.