Dreams of a Little Cornish Cottage

by Nancy Barone

  ‘Because I’m selling the house.’

  ‘You what? You can’t do that! I forbid you!’

  I snorted.

  ‘But it’s our family home!’ he insisted.

  ‘Was. It was our family home. Before you wrecked it. Now it’s just an albatross around my neck.’

  ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

  I sighed. Neil and I had never been on the same wavelength. ‘Forget about it.’

  ‘You’re throwing our whole life away and you want me to forget about it?’

  ‘Neil,’ I said, breathing deeply. ‘May I remind you that you were the one to throw our life away. So now, if you don’t mind, I’m starting afresh and I certainly don’t need any memories of you or your bloody forebears.’

  ‘What about the girls?’

  ‘They respect my decision.’

  He rolled his eyes. ‘I meant that they are a memory of me.’

  I shrugged. ‘Luckily just the good bits, Neil.’

  ‘And can’t you just remember the good bits? For old times’ sake?’

  I looked over at him above the sea of bubble wrap and boxes. But all I could remember was the humiliation, the never being good enough, let alone his superior frostiness towards me, especially in front of our dinner guests every single Saturday. He had been ashamed of me, despite the fact that I had become a master in hosting dinner parties. He had taken me for granted, shunned me, embarrassed me, and cheated on me. And I was supposed to forgive all that?

  ‘Bring some boxes next time you come over, Neil. I haven’t got enough.’

  ‘I can’t change your mind?’

  ‘No.’

  He heaved a huge sigh, a forlorn look on his face. ‘Have you actually put it on the market yet?’

  ‘Not yet. I’m getting it viewer-ready.’

  ‘By packing everything up? Viewers want to see a lifestyle.’

  ‘Well, certainly not your lifestyle. Plus I’m just emptying all the cupboards of old tat.’

  ‘I wish you would stop talking about my ancestors’ belongings like that.’

  Again with the ancestors. But for the sake of civility: ‘Right.’

  ‘So where would you live?’

  ‘Down in the village somewhere.’

  ‘With the rest of the villagers?’ he almost squeaked. The thought of his ex-wife living with the commoners made his skin crawl. And it made my heart sing.

  ‘Yes, Neil. Down in the village, among everyone else.’ The way it should have always been.

  ‘But you’re a Tamblynn-Lobb. We don’t live among the commoners.’

  ‘Not anymore, I’m not. Besides, I’ve never had – what did you use to call it – the class of your nobility?’

  ‘You’re still the mother of my children and I’ll not have you mixing with the villagers.’

  I snorted. ‘You’re their GP. You see them every day. How can you talk like that about them? They are all lovely, salt-of-the-earth people who work hard for a living. If it weren’t for them, you’d be a poor, derelict medic.’

  ‘If you’re doing this to spite me—’

  ‘Neil – get over yourself. It’s not always about you. You may think that having an old surname, a coat of arms and some old furniture makes you better than all the rest, but it doesn’t. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.’

  He eyed me, his mouth crooked and his nose out of joint.

  ‘Right. I’m going to check on Mum. How’s her ankle?’

  ‘She’s not your mum, Neil. She never was. In any case, you tell me. You’re the doctor.’

  ‘Why didn’t you call me straight away?’

  ‘Because she had someone else look at it in the A&E a few days ago.’

  ‘Days? And you didn’t think to call?’

  I huffed. ‘I’ve only just found out myself. She never mentioned it any of the times I called her.’

  ‘You mean to say you haven’t seen her in three entire days?’

  Three days of bliss, actually. But what did he know about our relationship anyway? From the start he’d decided that she was right and I was the thin-skinned wimp. But not anymore.

  ‘Dad! Hi!’ Sarah boomed as she came downstairs.

  ‘Hello, sweetheart! How are you? Where’s Sam?’

  Sarah’s eyes swung to mine for help. Neil absolutely loved Sam – and so he would.

  ‘Sarah’s visiting for a few days,’ I volunteered.

  ‘Ah, Sarah, that’s nice of you to keep your Nana Beryl company, seeing as your mother hasn’t got any time to spare.’

  ‘Neil? I’ve got stuff to do, and you’re only slowing me down and annoying me, so if you’re going to check on my mother in the study, please do. Otherwise, you can start taking these boxes out to your car.’

  He stopped at the door of my study where I had set my mother up and said, just about loud enough for her to hear, ‘You have become so bitter over the years, Natalia.’

  Bitter? It was all his handiwork. I had been perfectly happy before him. ‘Don’t forget the boxes on your way out.’

  He eyed me at length, but I refused to rise to his bait and turn around to continue the argument. When he saw that I was actively ignoring him, he let out a loud sigh and then knocked on Mum’s door.

  ‘Hello, Mum,’ he said and disappeared inside.

  ‘Neil – get yer ass in here. What took you so long?’ she chided him, but I heard him say, ‘Keeping your spirits up as usual, I see?’

  Now, if you thought that a mother would always side with her daughter rather than the cheating ex-husband, you’d usually be absolutely right. But not in this case. Mum always sided with him because she couldn’t understand why a woman would want to divorce a doctor.

  I went outside for a breath of fresh air and to check on the girls – yes, okay, and Connor – who were busy pulling worms out of a hole. Or rather, Amy was, and Zoe was begging her to put them back and leave them alone.

  At the end of the garden, Connor was on his knees digging something up. It was like he and the earth were one. He obviously enjoyed getting his hands dirty and keeping busy, and I wondered if it was his way of getting through the day without hurting too much after his own divorce.

  ‘Connor!’ Zoe cried for help. Not to me, her Auntie Nat, but to a total stranger. ‘Please tell Amy to stop!’

  Connor went over to kneel before them, his huge hands dangling between his knees. ‘Amy, do you think you might let the poor little fellow off? He’s probably got little kids waiting at home for him. Hm?’ he cajoled.

  ‘At least they’ll see their dad tonight,’ she huffed, but, as if under a new, mysterious spell, she obeyed, and Zoe quickly sprinkled some earth back on top of them, making sure he wouldn’t get squished.

  I felt myself blushing as I walked down to where they crouched. ‘Thank you, Connor. They seem to listen to you more than they do me, lately.’

  He shrugged, and his dark eyes twinkled. A twinkle that touched something somewhere deep inside me. ‘That’s not what I see.’

  ‘Oh? And what, uhm… do you see?’

  ‘I see a wonderful aunt who would do anything for her nieces. And nieces who adore their aunt.’

  And there was that warm, tingly sensation again. ‘You’re too kind, Connor. Listen, uhm, while my ex-husband is here with my mother I’m going to pop into Wyllow Cove to get some of her stuff. Could I leave you with the girls again? For just ten minutes? Cheeky, I know… But Sarah and my mother will be here if you need help.’

  ‘Absolutely, Nat. Go ahead.’

  ‘Thanks so much, Connor, I normally wouldn’t ask, but…’

  He grinned, pushing his hair off his face. ‘No problem. Kids love me.’

  Not just kids, I wanted to say, but thought better of it.

  ‘Is that all right, girls?’ I asked.

  ‘Yay!’ they shouted in unison.

  After a few moments, Neil came out into the garden.

  ‘Uncle Neil!’ the girls cried, rushing to him. Even
if he had never been top of the list for affection, strangely their loyalty to him had not dwindled. Although it was for the best, it told me just how love-starved they were.

  ‘Hey, you guys!’ he called. ‘Look how much you’ve grown!’

  I watched, completely disenchanted as he fussed over them for a few seconds, then followed me back to the kitchen. ‘I heard you’re going out?’

  ‘Just to get some of my mother’s stuff. Why?’

  Neil’s eyes widened. ‘You were going to leave our nieces here with a stranger?’

  Oh dear. ‘He’s not a stranger. I have his references. And I’ll only be a minute.’

  He crossed his arms. ‘Sometimes it only takes a minute.’

  ‘Neil, what are you on about?’

  ‘Nothing. Take your time. I’m staying with our family until you get back.’

  I ignored his territorial stance. Mussolini couldn’t have done it better.

  ‘Do I need to get a prescription for something while I’m out?’ I asked, trying to change the subject.

  ‘Just ordinary Disprin for the pain,’ he answered.

  ‘Right,’ I said, poking my head into Mum’s new room where she was reading Good Housekeeping. ‘Mum, do you want to come and sit in the orangery while I’m gone? I’m going to get your stuff. Is there anything particular you need?’

  ‘Just my recliner,’ she answered without looking up.

  I stopped. ‘Your recliner? But we have a perfectly good recliner here, Mum.’

  ‘Yes, but it’s not mine, is it?’

  ‘Mum – it’s too big for the car…’

  At that moment, Connor came in for a glass of water. He snapped his head back as he swallowed and then looked over at us, as though not sure whether to intervene or not. ‘If Neil is staying with the girls, I can drive you over in my Jeep, Nat,’ he offered.

  Neil’s jaw snapped open. ‘What? I’m sure we don’t want to inconvenience you.’

  ‘No inconvenience at all,’ Connor answered with his usual charm.

  ‘That’s a wonderful idea, Connor, thank you,’ Mum said, then looked at me. ‘See? Sorted. Plus, Neil’s offered to wait until you get back.’

  Neil looked back and forth between Connor and me, then nodded curtly. ‘Don’t be long. I have patients waiting.’

  ‘Oh?’ I said. ‘We don’t want to keep you.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ he snapped. ‘Just don’t take forever.’

  So I scooped my house keys out of the mother-of-pearl dish in the hall and we left Neil in charge of the twins and Mum for the five-minute drive to her cottage down in Wyllow Cove, my mobile phone in my pocket, just in case.

  Connor drove with ease, giving way even when it wasn’t necessary, earning him waved thank yous from the villagers whose eyes popped open when they saw who was in his passenger seat. I guessed there was a difference between knowing that the village GP had been kicked out by his wife and seeing her in a car with another man. I almost giggled to myself at the thought of the rumours.

  ‘What gorgeous seascapes,’ Connor marvelled as beyond every turn we were regaled with better and better views of the horseshoe-shaped harbour piled with pastel-coloured cottages, one of which was Mum’s. And of course Lavender Cottage, with its pretty front garden.

  ‘Where am I going?’ Connor asked, slowing down at the entrance to the village.

  ‘Uhm, sorry, just drive through to the very end of the High Street, then turn left for the quay. It’s the second-last cottage.’

  ‘Nice…’ he said. ‘I always wanted a little cottage facing the sea.’

  ‘You and me both. That’s why I’m selling.’

  ‘Good for you. I mean, your home is beautiful, but it’s not you.’

  ‘Meaning?’

  He shrugged. ‘I imagine you in a lovely little bright and cosy cottage with lots of blues and creams and greys, driftwood and tiny lighthouses.’

  ‘You just described my dream home,’ I said. ‘Up here, that’s Mum’s.’

  I took out Mum’s keys and opened the door while Connor adjusted the back of the Jeep and then followed in behind me. I went upstairs to her bedroom where I gathered some clothes, her spare pair of glasses, her bathrobe and some other necessities while he had already manoeuvred her recliner into the rear of the Jeep on his own.

  ‘Wait – I can help you with that,’ I said, scrambling to his aid, but in one swing he hauled it into the back of the Jeep and shut the door. He had extremely strong back muscles, apparently.

  ‘Done!’ he said, smacking his hands together. ‘What next?’

  ‘Uhm,’ I said, holding up the carrier bag. ‘Just this.’

  ‘Nice place she’s got, your mum. Very quaint. Did you all live here while growing up?’

  I nodded. ‘We did. Dad was the village baker and my sister and I shared a room because the box room was Mum’s hobby room. When my dad died, I wanted to take over the bakery with my sister, but she went off to cooking school and I… met Neil at college instead. And that was the end of that.’

  ‘You sound wistful. Ever think of opening your own bakery?’

  I sighed. ‘No, The Rising Bun – Dora’s bakery – is more than enough. There’s barely a hundred people here in Wyllow Cove, but it also supplies the neighbouring towns of Little Kettering, Penworth Ford and Perrancombe. Plus I’m busy with my column.’

  ‘Oh, yeah, can’t wait for your next one.’

  I stopped. ‘You really do read it, then?’

  ‘Bloody right I do. The women in my family were going on and on about it, so I read it to see what the fuss was all about. And I got hooked.’

  I laughed. ‘How could a bloke possibly be interested in a romance column in a magazine called Lady?’

  ‘You laugh? I learned a lot about women over the years thanks to you.’

  ‘I hardly think you need to read to get to know women, Connor.’ I mean, look at him. I was positive he never suffered a shortage of them.

  ‘Oh, I don’t mean meeting women. I mean understanding them. That was the tough bit, until your column came to the rescue. And now your deep, scary and mysterious world is a little less scary for poor blokes like me.’

  ‘Well, Connor, thanks for that, but I genuinely think that you’re the only bloke who reads my column.’

  He grinned, his eyes twinkling as he leaned in to speak into my ear. ‘Entirely their loss. I can certainly say I’m your greatest male fan.’

  Now you try and be indifferent to a comment like that.

  *

  ‘How is she?’ I asked Neil as I came in through the door, eyeing Connor as he hauled the armchair into the orangery where Mum would be spending most of her time.

  She liked to be in the middle of the action, and as the orangery was an integral part of the kitchen and led to the garden, I knew it would be her favourite place. From here I could keep an eye on both her and the girls in the garden or the living room where they liked to watch movies in the evenings.

  ‘You’ve taken your sweet time,’ Neil observed sourly, shutting his medical case with an audible snap, but I was not in the mood for any of his usual attitude. He seemed to think that cheating on me still qualified him to lord it over me. I always tried to make a point of being civil, which was best done by not speaking to him, lest I tell him what I really thought of him, but Mum had insisted on keeping him as her doctor, much to my annoyance, so I had no choice. As long as we stuck to the question at hand – her health.

  ‘Well?’ I prompted.

  Neil removed his latex gloves, shaking his head. ‘We need to run some in-house X-rays to see if anything’s broken, even if it doesn’t seem so.’

  ‘Okay. How long will the results take?’

  ‘A couple of days at the most.’

  ‘That’s good. Fast. I like fast.’

  ‘I noticed,’ he said, sliding me a crooked glance.

  ‘I beg your pardon?’

  ‘That…’ he said, his eyes indicating Connor who was now swinging one girl of
f each bicep, ‘…was fast.’ I watched as Zoe began to slowly lose her purchase and just like Tarzan, Connor caught her fall in mid-air by bringing up his thigh to boost her up back to his arms before she even noticed she was slipping. There was certainly something to be said for his reflexes. Neil would watch things fall without moving an inch. ‘Too fast even for you.’

  Oh, so was that how he wanted to play it? Fine by me.

  ‘You were faster. We were still married.’

  ‘Ouch. That hurt.’

  ‘Good. So did you.’

  ‘So now your revenge is sleeping with a younger man?’

  ‘Why does everyone think I’m sleeping with him?’

  ‘Aren’t you?’

  ‘Oh, you lost the right to ask me that quite some time ago.’

  He put down his bag and came to stand in front of me, his eyes on my face.

  ‘Nat – I made a mistake. A huge mistake…’

  Well, he sure got that right.

  ‘…but don’t we owe it to ourselves to forgive ourselves?’

  I smirked. ‘You mean don’t I owe it to you to forgive you? No. I don’t owe you anything, Neil. Not anymore.’

  ‘Nat…’

  I opened the front door and swept aside like one of those grand divas. ‘Call me when you’re ready for me to bring my mother in.’

  On his way out, he opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. ‘Right.’

  I closed the door and heaved a huge sigh of relief.

  And now it was the six of us: Connor, my mother, my two nieces and my daughter Sarah and I. Three generations of females packed into one house and one male guest. So much for my dreams of downsizing to a little cottage. My mother would have to stay until she was self-sufficient again. This place was starting to look like Hotel California. I only hoped the line about never leaving didn’t apply to her.

  5

  Hotel California

  The next day I knocked on Connor’s door.

  ‘Come in,’ he called from inside, and, hesitantly, I poked my head in. He was at his desk, banging away at his laptop. The room smelled of fresh laundry and there was not a piece of lint in sight.

  ‘Hi, Connor, sorry to disturb you…’

  He got to his feet and opened the door wider. ‘Nat, hi! Come on in. Like what I did with the place?’ he asked as I looked around. The bookcase was stacked with his books and CDs. And there was a picture of an elderly woman who had his same charming grin.