Never Letting You Go (Being Yours Novella Series Book 1)

by Dawn Martens

  I hired Lana not that long ago, and she’s been amazing. She came to Canada to attend a wedding with her then husband, and decided she wanted to stay, especially since her marriage was over. She knew if she went back home her family would tear her apart. I’m not one for gossip, but I’ve heard her talking to people in the staff room a time or two about how her marriage was just an arrangement. Something I knew a bit about since that’s how my marriage to Ava started.

  “Why didn’t you just let him back, Ms. Hart?” I ask her, confused.

  “Because I know who he is,” she cautions, throwing her hands out.

  I raise a brow. “And who is he?”

  “The best divorce lawyer in the country!” she yells at me.

  “What?” I say, cringing in shock and feeling as if someone just punched me in the gut and took the wind out of me. “Send him back.” This better not be some sick joke that Becky and her father cooked up.

  Lana’s eyes go wide and then she nods, quickly leaving my office.

  “Mr. James, I’m Samuel Mayer,” he introduces himself, not taking the seat I offer him. He pulls out his briefcase, setting it on my desk, then pulls out a file and passes it over to me. “You’ve been served.” With that, he shuts his case and walks out.

  I stare blankly at the file in front of me. I knew something was wrong last night! Why the fuck would she do this?!

  Grabbing the file, I clench it in my hand before opening it. After reading some of it, I see she wants absolutely nothing. Not a God damned thing! What is she doing? She can’t seriously be leaving me. We were in a good place. I thought we were making progress. Was it all for show? No, I know she cares for me. I can feel it when her body responds to mine. There is more between us than just a sexual attraction. We share love, and I won’t let her give up on what we have built.

  I’m not giving up the best thing that has ever happened to me.

  I get up from my chair and storm out of the office, file in hand. Everyone must know what’s going on because it’s quiet, deadly quiet, though everyone watches me in shock as I storm out.

  “Mr. James, what about your appointments this afternoon?” Lana shouts, running after me.

  “Cancel them,” I growl out as I step into the elevator.

  Arriving home twenty minutes later, I see that Ava’s car is gone. She better not have fucking left me. I storm into the house, shouting her name.

  “Ava, I am not signing this shit!” I bellow, my voice echoing through the quiet house.

  “Cameron,” Connie says, coming out of the living room, looking upset. “She’s gone.”

  “Where is she?” I shout at her. Connie flinches, shrinking back from my ominous tone.

  “She said she was going home, and um, she left you a note upstairs on your bed. Her rings are there.” She points to the table in the foyer.

  I stomp to the table, snatching the rings off as I throw them across the room. This isn’t happening.

  Taking them two at a time, I jog up the stairs and grab the note lying on my bed.

  Thank you for such a beautiful life, Cameron. After I learned the truth about our marriage, I didn’t think it would ever turn out the way it did. The last two years have been amazing, but I realized that it was one-sided. I wish you and Becky nothing but the best, and I hope, one day, that we will be able to have a normal friendship.

  I’ll always love you,

  Avalynn

  I crumble the note and toss it in the trash. She has another thing coming if she honestly thinks we’re divorcing. Does she not know how much I love her? I’ve proved it, time and time again. Yes, we have gotten into some nasty fights lately, but all couples do. Hell, I want a family with her. How could she think otherwise?

  As for this bullshit with Becky, what was that about? Why on earth did she wish us the best?

  I’ve never been into kinky shit, but when I find Ava, I’m tying her up, spanking her ass, and I’ll fuck her into submission. She’s not leaving me.

  She is my wife!

  Chapter 4

  2 years into marriage

  Ava

  I’m going to be a virgin forever. Forever and ever and ever. I swear it. After my date with Robert last year, I haven’t been on another. I feel like I should just take out an ad somewhere. “Must lose virginity. Please call.” But I won’t, of course, because yeah, that’s just crazy. I wish Larry wasn’t gay because he could totally help me out. I met Larry three years ago when I hired him to be my wedding planner. We spent a lot of time together, putting together my dream wedding, and with that, we’ve become amazing friends.

  Of course, I won’t go to Cameron about it, because hell, just last night he was talking about how much of an amazing friend I am. There are times I wish I could just slap the bastard and yell at him to fuck me, but I know that will never happen. I need to dream on. I guess I will have to stick with fictional men and my bullet.

  I’m sitting at a business dinner with my so-called husband, the witch, and a few other board members at Cameron’s company, totally bored out of my tree.

  They are all droning on and on about some merger, and money, and random other company crap I can’t be bothered to care about. Why do these dinners have to be so boring? Everything is all business with these people. They are so not my cup of tea. I quietly excuse myself from the table and head to the bathroom.

  Locking myself in a stall, I text Larry.

  Dude, this is the most boring thing ever – A

  Of course it is. Why would you ever think otherwise? – L

  I’m about to text him back when I hear the bathroom door open and chatter.

  “I feel bad for her,” voice one says.

  “Why?” voice two says.

  “She’s married to the guy and has no clue that he’s seeing Becky on the side. She’s either totally clueless, or she thinks she can trust him,” voice one continues.

  “From what Becky told me, he’s only married to her for the company. The second the six-year term is up on his father’s will, he’s leaving her. Becky is already planning her wedding to him,” voice two confirms.

  “That’s a shame. I’ve spoken with Avalynn a few times, and she’s a super nice, super sweet girl. I’ve tried talking Daddy out of the merger because I think Cameron is scum for treating her this way, but he says personal life is not in the equation. I just hope the poor girl wises up soon. My brother would be perfect for her.”

  “Yeah, you are right. The only thing we can do is befriend her. Hell, I’ll be damned if I see Becky married to that jerk. I don’t think even he deserves that witch,” voice two says, giggling.

  They walk out of the bathroom, and I am unable to move from my stall. It shouldn’t bother me, not even a little, but it does. Shame floods me as anger pours from me in tears. I have become a joke.

  I step out of the stall and clean myself up. Cameron doesn’t deserve my tears. He doesn’t deserve any piece of me, but saying something and doing it are two entirely different things. He has a hold on me that I can’t explain.

  Regaining my composure, I return to the table and hold my head high. Cameron smiles at me, and my stomach blanches. My wonderful pretend husband and I continue our public charade.

  I smile and nod at all the right places, never letting on that inside I am dying a little more every day.

  “Everything okay?” he asks, trying to take my hand.

  Squeezing his finger, I drop his hand quickly. His touch burns me. It pisses me off that I instantly want to melt into him and lay my head on his shoulder and cry, but I can’t do that.

  I just smile weakly and take a bite of my salad. When he looks away and begins talking, I spit my bite into my napkin, trying not to gag. I feel so sick.

  Right now, I just want to go home, pick up a Kristen Ashley book, and escape, if only for a while.

  Chapter 5

  Present

  Ava

  I called my parents to let them know I was coming home. Mom was happy, while Dad was ang
ry. Neither of them quite knows why, but they know it has something to do with Cameron. They recently moved to a small town just outside of Red Deer called Penhold, no longer living in Airdrie. I’ve been through this area a few times, either visiting my friend, Kristi, or driving through because I didn’t want to take the main highway.

  As I’m going through town, I notice it has expanded. There are brand new houses on one side, filling the area that used to be just empty land. I see a brand new commercial area and even a multiplex. Wow, I wonder when all this happened.

  Driving down the main street, I take a left at the Centex and see my parents’ house, right across the street from the gas station. I park my car in front of the house and pause before getting out.

  I’m obviously going to have to answer questions, lots of them. But I’m prepared, of course, considering I knew it would happen. My cell phone goes off again. It’s been going off all day, all calls from Cameron. Each and every time, I’ve hit ignore, but this time, I check and see that it’s Alana.

  Alana is someone I met at that boring dinner thing I suffered through years ago. She was one of the voices in the bathroom I overheard. After that night, we became good friends, and she was constantly trying to hook me up with her brother. Of course, Zach is a great guy, but our dating relationship fizzled out quickly, thanks to Cameron. Zach and I still are friends, though, because he realized that he was fighting a losing battle. He figured out quickly that I was madly in love with Cameron. We basically only date to make Cameron jealous, but it changed for him when he started to have actual feelings for me. I tried. I tried hard to turn off my feelings for Cameron so I could give myself to Zach, but it never happened.

  I answer the phone. “Hey, Alana,” I greet quietly.

  “You left? Why didn’t you tell me? Cameron is going friggin’ nuts,” she informs me.

  “Why would he? I figured he’d be happy now that he can finally be with Becky,” I answer, confused.

  Alana groans. “No, no, and no. Seriously. When was the last time you saw Becky?” she asks.

  “On TV a few months ago,” I say, rolling my eyes. She should know this. She was there with me when the report of it came on.

  “Before that.”

  I think on it for a while. “Maybe two, three years?” I say. I don’t know why that should matter.

  “Exactly! She hasn’t been around. I don’t know why she is now, but he’s been devoted to you ever since he sent her packing!” Alana shouts at me on the phone.

  “She’s pregnant, Alana, and he was with her. I’m done. I knew this was going to happen. I’m ready to move on, finally, and have that family I always talked about,” I tell her sadly, knowing deep down that there is no one else I would ever want it with more than him.

  “Have you called Larry?” she asks me.

  “No, and you know why,” I answer her. I haven’t spoken with Larry since I told him that Cameron and I were giving our marriage a shot. He kept telling me I was making a mistake. He hasn’t spoken to me since, no matter how many times I tried calling him or texting him. Nothing. Radio silence. If I called him now, I know he wouldn’t answer, but if he did, all he would do is rub it in my face with his huge ‘I told you so.’

  Alana pauses before she speaks again. “I understand, hon, but please call me regularly, though. Just because you are doing this moving on thing, I don’t want to lose my friend.”

  “Of course. I’ll talk to you later. My parents are standing in the doorway right now, waiting for me to come in.”

  “Okay, bye, hon. Oh, and Zach said if you need him to beat the shit out of Cameron, he’ll gladly do it.” She’s laughing before she hangs up. I shake my head, put my phone back in my purse, and get out of the car.

  “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad,” I say, rushing toward them and hugging them both tightly as tears fall down my face.

  I’ve spent so much time avoiding them, knowing if they were around me long enough, they would sense something was wrong.

  Cameron

  I slam my phone down on my desk. She ignored my call again. I’ve left tons of voicemails and texts. I want to know what the hell changed so damn fast. Things were going great. I was hinting about wanting to have kids with her. Did that spook her? Maybe I pushed her too hard.

  A knock on my door interrupts my fit. “What?” I bark out.

  The door swings open, and in walks Alana, Ava’s friend. She glares at me, holding a newspaper in her hand, and throws it at me. Whoa, where’d this come from? This girl has always been the sweetest thing ever, and now she’s throwing me some serious anger.

  “Read that, you scumbag,” she says and storms right back out.

  I look at the newspaper and see it. Me with Becky a while back, her pregnant, my arm around her. Ah, shit. This must be what has Ava leaving me. I have to fix it, make it right. I need to explain to her what’s going on.

  How can Ava even think for a moment that this garbage is true? Have I not showered her with love? Have I ever given her a reason to think she wasn’t the only woman for me, always? This damn photo was taken out of context. Of course, it doesn’t help that, in that moment, my arm was stupidly holding up Becky just as she started feeling dizzy.

  And this damn article says she’s having my child. She sure as hell isn’t having my child. I haven’t touched her in years. If any woman ever bears my child, it will be Ava, my wife—the woman I love with all my heart.

  Only reason I met with her that night was because we were both summoned to her father’s home. Of course, that whole night ended up with lots of yelling and name-calling. Both Becky and her father tried to get me to start the ball rolling on a divorce between Ava and myself, and when I told them it wasn’t happening, well, it wasn’t pretty.

  I arrive at the Veldhuizen mansion a little late. Not my fault this meeting was called so last minute. I wanted to have supper with my wife.

  After ringing the doorbell, their maid, Franka, answers it, smiling sweetly at me. “Mr. James, they are in the drawing room,” she tells me.

  “Thanks,” I say, walking down the hall.

  I walk in and see Mr. Veldhuizen and Becky sitting on the couch. Both look pissed.

  “So what is it?”

  “You’re late,” he announces, standing up.

  “I told you on the phone, I’d be here after I had supper with my wife.”

  Becky’s face turns sour.

  “And that is why we must talk. Terms of the marriage are coming up, so we need to talk about the wedding.”

  I look at him, confused. “What are you talking about? What wedding?”

  “The one to Rebecca, of course,” he boasts, pouring himself a scotch.

  Snorting, I say, “There will be no marriage to Becky. I’m not leaving Ava.”

  He slams his glass down and turns to me. “You promised my daughter you’d be together the first chance you could. You got her knocked up, and you’re saying you won’t be with her?”

  “I didn’t knock her up. I haven’t been with her in almost four years.”

  “That matters not. You’ll be wed in the fall. I can help get the divorce fast-tracked.”

  As I look to Becky, she smiles up at me.

  Shaking my head, I tell them, “Yeah, that’s not happening. I love Ava. I want to marry her all over again and have children with her. Becky and I will never happen.”

  Quickly, I stand and walk out of the drawing room, heading outside, when I hear Becky call out, jogging after me. “Wait, please.”

  I stop just before the front door and turn. “What?” I bark at her.

  “Keller has, or had, a girlfriend. I didn’t know. I showed up at her clinic. She’s a nurse, and when I was telling her about my boyfriend, she lost it. I didn’t know. I had no clue. Keller isn’t talking to me now,” she whines. I knew about her and some hockey player. This Keller must be him.

  “That’s not my problem.”

  I turn from her and open the front door, wanting away from this damn house a
nd crazy family. Becky follows me, begging me to please talk with her. Finally, I agree. “Fine, we’ll go get a coffee, and then I’m bringing you back home. That’s it.”

  We talked a bit, she cried, and then I took her home, but not before the damn press got wind of the Veldhuizen heir out with the owner of James Enterprises. Fucking scumbags. Her father probably tipped them off, the bastard.

  That night when I got home, Ava was slightly off, and my mom gave me a dirty look. I ignored them both, since I was pissed about the whole evening, and just went off to bed. Ava never came up, and when I woke in the morning, she was sleeping on the couch with a book on her chest.

  Chapter 6

  3 Years into marriage

  Ava

  Becky is in my house. The witch is in my house, and I swear to God, if she smirks at me one more damn time while touching Cameron, I’m gonna kill her. I’ll hide her body underneath an apple tree in my back yard. I swear on it. God, I hate her.

  She’s been a thorn in my side for years. I don’t know what the hell Cameron sees in her. Maybe it’s the boobs? No, mine are bigger. Maybe it’s her looks? No, she’s had more Botox and plastic surgery than Joan Rivers. Maybe she’s just a good lay. I have no clue. I bet I would be better if he gave me a chance to be with him like a real wife. I can’t believe we have been married three years and have never consummated our marriage. But there is no need on Cameron’s end. He gets his from that bitch. As for me, I get to watch from the sidelines, while my vagina gets cobwebs from lack of action.

  She’s constantly talking to me about ‘her’ wedding once we’re divorced, and thanks me often for being a place filler. Fucking bitch. She invites me out to lunch once a week to go over Cameron’s business stuff, get-togethers at the house, and things like that. Usually, once business talk is done, she informs me exactly what my role is—just to stand there and smile, nothing else. She even picks my clothes for meetings. I know I never should have let her push me around like this. Hell, I’ve never been a push over, but she makes me feel like a kicked puppy and I always give in.