Remember

by Karthikeyan, Girish

  I pull back on the handles and take off the interface, hand it back to Morris, remove the access port after it turns black (tech displays what each color means if I wait). Morris packs up everything. The connection tube just snakes its way out of the package. I hop up to the threshold of the twelfth floor. Morris just jumps through the doorway. The data is ours.

  I check on all the unconscious people — I don't know why, but I still do it. The non-lethal NLIT (redundant I know) removes all vital signs, except temperature. I start checking everyone for a noticeable fever, too important for just using tech. Morris winds up the tube as he walks by. I run through all eight in the hallway and move onto the two guards and assistant in the office. The elevator returns and the outside doors shut. Jenna takes off the node.

  She says, “Would you like do the honors, JB?”

  “Okay.”

  I lay Mr. Stephens on the ground. Jenna releases his face shroud. I cover his mouth, retrieve the VNSP dart, press my NLIT on him, wait for the NLIT to finish and stow it in my holster. Jenna packs up the wireless transfer device. I see a message on my tech. It says target deceased. I check Mr. Stephens. He is not warm.

  Ricochet

  Mon 8/21/17 4:15 p.m.

  How could I trust them this much? They told me to do something. I just do it, and this is what I get. They make me kill someone. I killed someone. I am a killer. They made me into one! I have to stay calm about this. I can’t lose it here. I have to keep moving. How can I? I have just killed someone! It isn’t just anyone, it is Gary’s father! I didn’t want to do it. Does that matter to anyone? No one knows it's me. How does that matter?! I have to live with the guilt of my stupidity. How can this happen? I review the report as I remember. The NLIT uses support tech to keep the person alive after it is used. The support tech isn’t in him. Yes, that’s it. I have to keep him alive. I can use the NLIT, again. He should get the support tech this time. I hit him, again.

  “Is everything okay?” Jenna asks me.

  I look up. “Yeah, I’m just making sure it worked.”

  The tech says he is dead. I can keep him going for the 10 minutes it takes to get him back. I can’t stay here. I did this to him. It doesn’t matter what I do after the fact. If he does recover, it won’t be 100 percent. I doesn’t matter what I do now. I’ve already hurt him. I have killed him! How did I get into this? That doesn’t matter! I have to get out of this! I’m furiously pacing the room. I just have to forget about it. I can’t! I didn’t do this. I did! This isn’t my fault. It is! I can’t take this anymore! I can’t do anything! I am trapped! Nooo! This can’t be happening!

  I’m just a bystander watching myself have an explosion of anger. I see myself lash out at the nearest thing. I punch the wall and cringe. The results are devastating. A chunk of wall, a big chunk falls to the ground. I can’t stop looking at the face of my victim. I just want to collapse and let whatever is going to happen, to just happen. I can’t go any farther. I just can’t.

  The alarms start going off. Intruder alert is splashed over the walls. I keep walking around. I hear the faint sound of my name. I don’t listen to it. Jenna comes in front of me. This makes me stop. I stare blankly at her face. She can get through to me. She shakes me out of it. I let her do it. I’m coming back. I don’t want to do anything. I just want everything to stop, no matter how. Jenna shoots at a window or something. An explosion is next. Glass rains down everywhere.

  Jenna grabs my arm and moves me to the open window. I follow her like a child. I see a huge egg shaped green outline floating over the middle of the street. Rings of green coming down off the egg. Jenna moves my arm to point at the top of the egg, where two circles of green are visible. A string of tech leaps all the way from my arm to the disc on the craft. Jenna comes around to my other side. She wraps one arm around my neck. She moves my arm around her waist. She holds on to my neck. The string pulls us out the window and to the craft.

  Just my feet land on something solid. I feel myself losing balance. Jenna gets off me. She grabs my hand. I can’t move the suit. It moves by itself to get me inside. Jenna leads me to a seat on the far side of the fully plastic interior. I sit down, or the suit makes me sit down. Jenna leans over to undo my helmet.

  She says, “Follow the flow.” This sinks in. The words blend together and reorganize in my head over and over again. I look out as we speed away from the city. I know I need to sleep for some reason. As if right on cue, I start feeling drowsy. I drift off, faintly remembering my head resting on the window.

  (—)

  I’m woken up by Jenna. We landed on the side of a steep snow covered mountain. An open hatch with a ladder sticking out appeared in the middle of the floor. I can move, again. I climb down the ladder. Someone throws down my helmet. I catch it and walk down the narrow set of footprints. I look back to see the craft — a silver egg shaped thing with three articulated legs (swaddled in silver pelts) stabilizing it on the slope. Jenna walks a few feet behind me, breathing out fog, reddening against the cold, and wrapped in that cream colored jacket from earlier. I don't feel it that much in the insulated assault suit, but my nose and breath do. We walk downhill with Morris in the lead and cross into the tree-line. Evergreen tree sparsely disburse the snow, some with brown bark, most dark brown. The need to keep my mind busy results in fist clenching, until I’m too tired to feel anything.

  We circle around to a cave surrounded by snow and enter the warmth inside where the snow disappears leaving pools of water. As we go deeper, it warms up and dries out. We move through a convoluted series of passageways carved into the mountain. A white lighted door heads us off. The door opens as we get closer. We go through a scanning arch into a grey room with pillars of light every meter. The center door of three ahead opens and someone comes out all in grey, except for a white tie.

  “Hi, I’m Report. Welcome to M station. This is your chance to decompress after your mission and before returning to your lives. Come with me. I have some questions for you three,” Report says. Her quiet clear voice carries well.

  Her long face, sharp nose, and dilated brown oval eyes make her unmistakable. We go with her through the door and enter a big dim meeting room with screens inlayed into the wood paneling showing views of the outside. I’m sure it could show anything. The table has three chairs opposing one. We sit down. Report has a pad with her, retrieved from somewhere.

  “Let's get started. I have an analysis of your cam footage with me and a few questions. How does that sound?” She continues without waiting for an answer, “Good, we can start then. What happened, if anything, after the data transfer completed?”

  I have a moment of clarity. “I wanted to check the guards were unconscious. This was my first time using a NLIT. Incorrect placement can cause duration problems.”

  Report nods a little. “That sounds good. What happened when Mr. Stephens was subjected to the NLIT?”

  Jenna says, “I think I’m the best person to answer this. Malicious tech was covering Mr. Stephens’ face. When JB came into contract with said tech, JB’s control of the suit was neutralized, ma’am.”

  Report waits for an answer from me. She calmly looks over with those drug high eyes. It's something else, not drugs.

  “Yes, I couldn’t control the suit shortly after NLITing Stephens. The suit made me check on him.”

  Report asks, “Can anyone explain the incident with damaging the wall?” The screens replay it on loop.

  Jenna answers again,” The suit was out of control. Once it punched the wall, the suit disconnected JB as a safety measure. An electrical conduit came into contact with the suit, ma’am.”

  I answer before Report has to wait. “Yes, the suit searched the walls while pacing the room. It was searching for something. It found an electrical conduit.”

  “Where were you, Agent 2645, during these events?” Report looks to Morris.

  “I was packing up the transfer tech. ma’am.” Morris glances over me.

  “How did the suit contin
ue functioning?” Report asks. Those haunting eyes turn back to me.

  “I don’t know. I just couldn’t move without help from Jenna, sorry Agent 7429.” Don't act nervous. She can't vaporize me.

  “Yes, I used the external suit controls to complete the mission, ma’am,” Jenna answers also.

  Report asks, “How was the suit repaired once you boarded the IMMMR?” If she's irked by Jenna's interruptions, Report doesn't show it.

  Jenna says, “On the ionized molecule magnetic manipulator raft, I just did a restart of the assault suit. It takes 5 minutes to do it, ma’am.”

  “Did this fix the disconnection issue?” Report asks Jenna.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Jenna says.

  Report asks, “What do you have to say on the matter, JB?”

  I want to look away, but I can't. “I don’t know how the problem was fixed. When I entered the IMMMR, I couldn’t move anything. By the time we landed I had control back.”

  Someone comes in to deliver a message to Report. He has the same clothes as her. He whispers something in her ear and stays near the table.

  Report says, “The questions are done, you will now be taken to the change room. Please follow my colleague.” We all go with him out the door at our backs. He puts on shades in the normal lit area, this gradually curving hallway. We go down it, stop at a room called ‘Change’, and all go in. The person from M station leaves us there.

  Five shelves hang along the left wall — three marked with scrolling name tags: JB, 7429, and 2645 with clothes, shoes, socks, and towels stocked. Five enclosed showers cover the opposite wall. We grab everything besides the shoes and socks. Morris boards a shower as far away from us as possible. Jenna and I take neighboring showers. I deactivate my assault suit which takes some time. A few deep breathes relieve some feelings of guilt more trivial then what I expected.

  Jenna says, “How did you like your first co-op mission?”

  The suit loosens its grip over me. “I was fun. Everything was until the end.” I sling my new clothes over the top of the door just like Jenna.

  “What happened wasn’t unheard of. Once, an entire mission was compromised with that trick. Since then, one unequipped team member always has the shutdown codes for the team.” Jenna drops her clothes on the dry floor below, peeling off layers.

  I look away from the silhouette through the barely frosted glass. “You knew this could happen?”

  “I just told you that.”

  I unzip the suit, liberate my arms, snake out my feet, and slip out of this skin tight banana skin. “Where did you learn the external suit commands?”

  “It isn’t so much knowledge as practice. The suit has several places that provide external controls. You can use the hands, arms, chest, back and legs. If the suit disconnects from the primary operator, these controls become active.” Jenna dispenses with her old clothes.

  I zip up the suit and hang it up near the new set. “I’m glad you got the suit working, again. Relying on you for everything isn’t good enough.”

  I turn the shower knob until the knob temperature feels good. The water will somehow end up the same.

  “You should be happy I did such a good job at it.”

  “Thanks for the help. We should do a mission together, again.” I extend a handshake over the top of the shower dividers. She shakes my hand. I don’t know if she says anything after that. She starts the water. I start mine with a push of the knob. The sound of water bouncing off our bodies or directly to the floor masks every other sound.

  (—)

  I change into the t-shirt and matching pants. We leave the showers and put on our shoes. Morris already left the room. We exit for the hallway and keep moving down, reaching three rooms with our three codenames. We say good night and go inside.

  The small room with a bed and table features a full wall screen across from the door. It shows the view out the front of the cave. I lie down and try to fall asleep, but I can’t for some reason. Just willing myself to sleep doesn’t work. I decide exercise could remove the decision from my hands. I contort into a little of everything Claire tries teaching me during some yoga lessons in the other half of her apartment. (A hardwood floored space with clear walls on four sides, a water channel all around, various cushions sunken into the floor, and an extremely variable temperature control.) She could be a master yogi; she's been doing it for that long.

  I feel more awake than anything, so I just lie in bed waiting for sleep. As if staring at the ceiling is going to help. Report knocks and enters the room with shades on. I met her halfway to the bed.

  Report motions over to the table for us to sit. “I just need to ask some follow up questions, okay?”

  I sit down on one side. “Sure, anything you need.”

  She slides out of her grey jacket and drapes it over the chair back before sitting. “You entered the building as a guest presenter, correct?”

  “No.”

  Report meticulously loosens her tie with both hands. “As a maintenance worker you had access to the fourth floor, room 24, correct?” She undoes her sleeves completely absorbed.

  Two in a row. “No, it was room 14.”

  She talks without looking at me but at her hands folding up each sleeve, cuff width by cuff width, until it uncovers her hairless arms up to her elbows. “In room 14, Agent 7429 setup the V-tech. Agent 2645 and Agent JB setup the cover job. Is all this correct?”

  The slow reiteration of each alias and her distractions bore me. “Yes.”

  “All three of you then go to the twelfth floor. There you find seven guards. Are these statements of the truth?” Report removes her shades and pinches the bridge of her nose.

  “No, the first one is true.”

  She looks at me with a human face for the first time (without massive pupils). “Were all eight guards subdued with only NLIT’s?”

  What was that whole bit of show acting about just here and before (dilated eyes and shades)? “No, one guard escaped the tech. Both weapons were used on him.”

  “Is it true that Agent 6245 and you were the ones who accessed the data line?” Report digs something out of her jacket pocket, a handkerchief.

  “Yes.”

  With one shake, the handkerchief unfurls and moistens. “Did you check everyone to ensure proper function of the NLIT based on concern for the mission?”

  “Yes.”

  She starts wiping her face without breathing eye contact with at least one eye. “Did the NLIT function properly with the people in the entrance hallway?”

  “Yes.”

  She wipes around her neck and her eyes roll upward and stay there. She continues the questions without any change in her voice. “Did malicious tech affect you upon touching Mr. Stephens?”

  Just ask the questions. I don't need to see this other stuff. “Yes.”

  “Did this tech cause you to lose control of the assault suit?” Her eyes face forward and she starts on her arms.

  “Yes.”

  Report continues wiping the webs between the fingers, the nail beds, the creases between the joints, the nails, and cuticles. Her eyes crinkle with concentration. “Did the suit punch the wall when acting beyond your control?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did your assault suit disconnect after coming into contact with the electrical conduit?” Report crumples up the kerchief and tosses it into the trashcan over her shoulder.

  Just watching her do this makes me feel covered with grit and grime, even though I just showered. “Yes.”

  She slides the table towards me in an act of stretching her fingers back almost into hyperextension. “Did Agent 7429 use the external suit controls to bring you to the completion of your mission?”

  “Yes.”

  Report hefts one leg onto the edge of the table from the knee down. “Did the death of Mr. Stephens cause you to feel lost or upset?” She removes a hideously high heeled business shoe and stands it on the table.

  “No.”

  She messages her
foot, heavily leaning into it with white fingers and red messaged area. “Did you willfully pace around the room and damage the wall?”

  “No.”

  She lowers the denuded foot and repeats with the other ones. “Was Agent 7429 the only person that could get through to you, in this state?”

  I stick with the story. “No, I was never in that state.” I should have seen it before! She's handling me. She's a master at high level interrogation. The interrogator puts on a show of distraction — what I just witnessed now or the trippy dilated pupils earlier (maybe) — that weakens the ability to lie such that a seasoned interrogator can spot lies and truth.

  Report seats her bare feet on the chair and wraps her arm around her knees. “Did Agent 7429 disable your suit?”

  Easy truth. “No.”

  “Did Agent 7429 guide you through the rest of your mission?”

  “No answer, these questions are more than just clarification. Aren’t they?”

  Report drops her feet, finger loops her gaudy heels, and folds her jacket over one arm. She leans backward on the door. “Sorry for the inconvenience of oversight. I have food for you outside. I’ll get it now.”

  She leaves for a sec, returns barefoot, jacketless, and with a tray that's put on the table. I eat it without looking. The questions have me thinking. Did I lie? Does she know, if I did? If I believe it, can it be a lie? What really happened today? After I NLITed Mr. Stephens, I didn’t exactly feel the same. The message that the target died just appeared. Who sent that message? Two options. Does that matter? It changes nothing that happened. I felt confused above all. I did the pacing and punching. It made me mad. I don’t know what to believe. Malicious tech might take some time to start working. After Jenna grabbed me, I couldn’t move by myself. Or was it after punching the wall? I can’t remember. Did Jenna use the suit controls? Was she able to get through to me? I have told the Division the tech hack story. Is that true? What really happened?