The Heart of the Home

by The Heart of the Home (retail) (epub)

  Meriel and Leo confided in each other their concerns about Lucy, probably because it was a safe subject. They were unhappy about Lucy’s involvement with a man neither of them found appealing. The shared worry gave them a closeness that had been lacking. Then the uneven surface, causing them to slip and stumble on the wet rocks, changed the mood. Joking about the tide suddenly turning, or the possibility of facing a monster escaped from Loch Ness, relaxed them. Within a few yards of starting out they were two friends on a fun day out.

  There was laughter in the air as Meriel and Leo walked, jumped and made their way to the island’s beach facing them. They couldn’t keep to a straight line, lurching around pools and areas where the rocks were slippery underfoot, stopping occasionally to examine the small creatures waiting for the tide to return, moving briskly at times, even crawling occasionally and holding hands whenever the need was there, and often when it was not. The sun had already dried much of the route but there were places where they had to take care and Leo’s hand was always waiting for hers.

  They climbed halfway up the grassy slope in view of the shore, where rabbits hopped about in apparent indifference to the visitors, and waved to Walter and the others.

  ‘Ten minutes then we’ll start back.’ Leo said, checking his watch.

  ‘Come on, there’s plenty of time yet.’

  ‘Once the tide comes around the sides of the island the path is very dangerous and I’m not going to risk anything happening to you.’

  ‘At least let’s walk to the top and look at the other side.’

  ‘The cliffs are steep there, not a gentle slope.’

  ‘Come on. I promise to hold your hand, Uncle Leo,’ she teased.

  He stared at her.

  She looked at him, he was so familiar yet not the same. Reliable and always there, as before, but no longer the man who had seemed a part of her father’s generation when she had been small, a man who she knew so well, yet didn’t know at all. He smiled at her, his skin flushed into a bronze glow by the summer sun, brown hair blowing in the soft breeze and a shiver of recognition passed through her.

  ‘It’s a long time since you called me Uncle Leo,’ he said quietly.

  ‘It’s a long time since I thought of you like that,’ she said. Then to break the breathless moment she ran away from him up to the highest point and he ran after her, his thoughts in confusion, not knowing what to say.

  A few minutes later, the crowd on the beach were waving to them as they walked back down the grassy slope, slightly apart.

  ‘I think it’s time for lunch,’ Leo said, waving back. ‘They have a fire going, Connie brought a kettle and I suspect we’re in for some smoke-flavoured tea.’

  They were faster on the return, Leo’s hand was there but she didn’t reach out for it as readily, even when she slipped and her foot went into a pool. Something had happened and she didn’t know how to handle it. She just knew that her body was crying out for something and nothing would be the same ever again.

  *

  Lynne read Walter’s latest note in which he mentioned the planned picnic and felt ashamed of her continuing fear of going home. He was so lonely and was being punished for something not his fault. She was the guilty one, even though so many years had passed, that fact remained. She was afraid of gossip, convinced that if she were to open her mouth she would say something that would allow that truth to emerge and ruin everything they had built. If Meriel learned of her sordid part in it all, she’d walk away from them, and that would be more than Walter could bear. Better for her to hurt him by staying away.

  She heard the clatter of dishes as Auntie Gladys set the table for breakfast, and she walked into the kitchen and reached for the loaf. ‘Tomatoes?’ she suggested and the smiling face of her mother’s greatest friend nodded.

  ‘It’s such a treat having you here. I never bother with anything more than toast,’ she said. ‘Although, I don’t want you staying for too long, mind. That husband of yours needs you more than I do. Is that another letter?’

  ‘Every day, he’s never failed to write, has he?’

  ‘Go home, lovely girl. It’s where you belong.’

  ‘I can’t, Gladie, I can’t risk Meriel finding out. Why on earth did she have to live in Cwm Derw? Of all the places she might have chosen, why did she pick on the one place that spelled danger?’

  ‘That’s life, the only thing you can expect is the unexpected. The only way to deal with it is to face it and that’s what you have to do, my dear.’

  ‘Tell her the whole story, you mean?’

  ‘No, there’s no need for that. Just explain about how unhappy you and her father were knowing you couldn’t have a child and how happy you’ve been since you were given the gift of a daughter. Why her family couldn’t keep her is best left for her to guess. She’s bound to be near the truth, that her mother was too young and was offered no support from her family. Tell her that, remind her how much you and Walter love her, and while you’re at it, tell Walter how much you love and need him too.’

  While they ate breakfast Lynne was quiet and Gladys said nothing more to distract her. She had said her piece and must now allow it to germinate. Later, she put some newly ironed laundry in Lynne’s room and pointedly placed the suitcase she had brought with her beside the bed.

  Walter was at home when the taxi arrived. Uninterested, he listened as the engine idled and door slammed but didn’t leave his chair. Then the sound of the key in the lock made him sit up. Meriel! It must be Meriel, with a smile he opened the door to the hall. Tears welled in his eyes as Lynne ran into his arms.

  ‘I’m home, darling, and this time it’s for good. No more silly games, I promise. What we have to face we’ll face together.’

  *

  Leo knew he was playing a dangerous game by trying to solve the mystery of Meriel’s true parentage. The odd family with their old-fashioned clothes and subdued manner were more unlikely every time he thought of them, how could they be even remotely related to the bright, lively Meriel? But there were questions he was interested in having answered and he needed to be absolutely sure they were unconnected before searching further afield. Although where he would start on a new enquiry he had no idea.

  Without much hope he went to the church beside which the Roberts-Price family lived and looked around the gravestones in the churchyard. He didn’t know why, he had no plan in his mind, he was just looking for the name Roberts-Price. Although how that would help he hadn’t the faintest idea, but he looked anyway.

  A man wearing the cassock and collar of a clergyman appeared and stood watching as he walked up and down the rows of stones. When the route took him over to the church doorway the man spoke. ‘Can I help, sir?’

  ‘Not really. I don’t even know what I’m looking for myself!’ He smiled and offered a hand. ‘I’m killing time really and I saw several graves with the name Price and Roberts, and wondered whether they were local names. I know there is a gentleman in the cottage across the lane called Mr William Roberts-Price, that’s all.’

  ‘They moved here quite recently. You’re a friend?’

  ‘Not even that. I’m a friend of the young lady, Miss Calloway, who sold their house for them and we’ve met a couple of times.’

  ‘It seems they’re moving again. Sad when people can’t settle.’

  ‘Do you know why?’

  The man shook his head. ‘It sometimes means people are running away, trying to escape their problems, forgetting that the problem is often within themselves and therefore will travel with them.’ He straightened up as though regretting his remarks and said swiftly, ‘Not that I’m saying this is the case with these good people. I think they want to do something worthwhile with their lives and haven’t quite decided what that should be.’

  ‘I wish them luck, whatever it is,’ Leo said. ‘Most pleasant talking to you, sir, good day.’ He tilted his hat as he left.

  Leo drove back to the office and told Meriel that the Roberts-Prices were mo
ving again. ‘It might be worth calling to see whether you can help find them a house.’ He looked at Meriel. ‘Best Lucy goes as they know her, don’t you think?’

  ‘I don’t know why their name keeps cropping up,’ Meriel said. ‘Since Teifion had the crazy idea they might be related to me they seem to be hovering around at the edge of my life.’

  ‘In that case, forget it. They’re probably looking too far afield for you to help anyway.’ He placed his hands on the desk in front of Meriel. ‘Now, how about coming home with me? Mam has promised a casserole and fresh vegetables.’

  Meriel was about to decline, she had been uneasy in his presence since the Sunday picnic. But he pleaded and assured her his mother would have been working all day preparing for her visit and would be disappointed.

  ‘Thank you, I’d love to come.’

  ‘Lucy?’ he questioned.

  Lucy shook her head. ‘I’m meeting Gerald. Besides, Rascal will want her walk and some supper.’

  ‘I’ll follow you in my car,’ she said, ‘simpler if I can drive myself home.’

  ‘Not tonight. We’ll go together.’ Excitement showed in his eyes and she tried to avoid looking at him. She must be under some sort of spell, imagining he could be something more than a lifelong friend, her father’s assistant, yet the strange tension that was far from unpleasant wouldn’t be denied.

  She didn’t go home and change, just freshened herself in the small washroom behind the office and set off with a slightly uneasy heart. She avoided touching him, dropping the office keys into his palm for him to lock up, refusing his hand to help her into the car. She was afraid his skin against her own would be like electricity, she was so aware of his presence. What was happening to her?

  She leapt out before he could come around and open the door for her and ran into the house calling for Mrs Hopkins. At the door to the living room she stopped. Both of her parents were there, Walter’s arm around Lynne, both smiling happily. Walter opened his other arm and waggled his fingers for her to join them. Lynne did the same and by the time Leo appeared, they were hugging as though they would never let go.

  Nine

  They eventually calmed down and rose to eat the meal Mrs Hopkins had prepared. Meriel kept glancing at her mother. Lynne had changed; she had lost weight and was very pale. It was as though the revelations she had tried for so long to hide had brought on an illness. Watching her mother she was aware of a lessening of her own pain. How much harder it had been for Lynne and her father to have been faced with her anger and resentment.

  Feeling renewed happiness she wanted to hug Leo, thank him for his persistence in making her face up to the situation, but her awareness of him as an attractive and desirable man stopped her. Instead she hugged his mother.

  Leaving her parents talking to Mrs Hopkins, Meriel found herself in the kitchen, with Leo standing with tea towel at the ready, preparing to wash the dishes. Then his mother bustled in and sent him out of the room. Laughingly he went, complaining about being bullied. Meriel began to wash the dishes, tense and uneasy. Why hadn’t he stayed and shared the task?

  ‘He’s been a wonderful son,’ Mrs Hopkins said as she took charge of the tea towel. ‘When his father and older brother died he was still a boy. With my hardly realizing his sacrifices he took on the role of deputy father to his sisters and gave up the lovely years of fun and friendships, flirting and courting. That happy time passed him by and I regret my blindness – my selfishness – in not seeing it.’ She glanced at Meriel and said, ‘Now, I think perhaps he was simply waiting for that special person to find him.’

  ‘Don’t you mean for him to find her?’

  ‘Oh no. He found her a long time ago.’

  Meriel didn’t reply, she wasn’t sure what was meant. Was there someone special in his life, someone who wasn’t aware of his love? Or tied up and unable to accept it? The thought depressed her and she excused herself as soon as the dishes were washed and went back into the living room.

  Lynne and Walter were sitting close together. Leo walked in through the french windows, arms filled with roses, which he gave to Lynne. He disappeared again and Meriel followed him. He picked up secateurs and began cutting a second bunch. ‘These are for you,’ he said. ‘Would you like to choose?’

  ‘Whatever you give me will be perfect,’ she said, staring at him as he concentrated on his task. When he was satisfied with his selection they sat for a while in the seat beneath the rowan tree and he talked about the flowers he grew and asked her advice about changes to the layout of the beds. She couldn’t think of such mundane problems and just nodded and smiled as he described his plans for the autumn. She was wondering about the mysterious woman in his life and inventing reasons for them not wanting to reveal their love and marry. She felt a sadness wrap around her and went inside, where the sight of her parents lifted her spirits even if it failed to cheer her out of her growing melancholy.

  Drinks were offered and the mood of celebration was revived and lasted until it was time to leave. Leo drove her home but she avoided conversation apart from thanking him for the part he played in getting her family together again. She feigned tiredness and closed her eyes to discourage anything more and when he stopped in the lane beside the path to Badgers Brook he didn’t suggest going in.

  ‘I have to get back,’ he said, ‘but I’m so glad it worked out well. You’re very fortunate, Meriel, having so many people who love you.’

  ‘I know,’ she said, reaching for the door handle. He got out and walked around to open the door for her and for a moment they stood close together before he kissed her lightly on the cheek and turned away.

  She waved as he drove off although he wouldn’t have been able to see in the darkness, then forcing excitement, she ran into the house calling for Lucy to tell her about the wonderful evening.

  ‘I feel so ashamed,’ she admitted when they were sipping their late-night drink. ‘Leo managed to put it all into perspective and I’m determined to forget about why I was given away and just be grateful that it was Mam and Dadda who adopted me.’

  ‘You were very lucky,’ Lucy agreed.

  ‘As for George Dexter, he’s a bitter man for whatever reason, and is best ignored.’

  ‘You have good reason to be grateful to Leo,’ Lucy reminded her softly and Meriel frowned and looked away.

  *

  Teifion had an unexpected visit from his father. He was putting the tables back after Betty had washed the floor in the bar when there was a knock at the side door. The prepared smile left his face as his father pushed him aside and walked in.

  ‘I have to go away for a few days and I need you to cover the office,’ he announced.

  ‘Sorry, Dad, but I can’t let Betty down. I’ve only been here a little while and I need her to know I’m reliable.’

  ‘Reliable? You? Not a word I’d use for you! Come on, for once in your life do something to help me. I’m your father. It’s the family business involved, you can’t refuse to help.’

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘None of your business.’

  ‘Sorry I can’t help. I work here now and I’m enjoying it.’ He suggested one or two people who might help but was adamant in his refusal to let Betty down. George shouted a stream of insults and stormed out. Getting into the car he set off for Brighton, determined to bring Frieda back.

  With his heart racing, Teifion closed and bolted the door, feeling guilty but at the same time knowing his response had been the right one.

  *

  Leo didn’t appear over the following days, although he phoned the office and asked how the plans for the auction were progressing. Her father also called and her mother asked if she could come down and meet them for lunch. ‘Mum, we’re so busy we wouldn’t enjoy it. Can we make it next week? We’re so anxious for everything to go well.’

  ‘Of course. I understand how important this one is. I’ve been through a few such events with your father, remember,’ she said with a laugh. ‘Do y
ou need Dadda’s help? Or Leo’s? They’ve both offered, but will only come if asked.’

  ‘I think I’d rather we did it on our own, just for this one.’

  ‘We understand, darling. Good luck with everything. I know you’ll do well.’

  Lucy was concerned about whether they had enough people to help but when Gerald called and offered to assist, she refused. ‘Experienced help is what we want,’ she explained, ‘not people who will get in the way. Even the furniture shifters need to know what’s expected of them.’

  ‘I wouldn’t want to move things,’ he said in mock horror. ‘I was thinking more an administrative role, writing down what’s sold, the prices for each item and working out commission, I’m more suited to such things.’

  ‘I’m sure you are,’ Meriel said with a glance at Lucy.

  ‘Gerald has dreams of becoming a part of all this, if you and he marry,’ Meriel whispered to her friend later, ‘so watch him.’ She was smiling but although the words were light-heartedly spoken, she was serious.

  ‘I won’t let him take any of our worries away from us! We need them all!’ Lucy too spoke jocularly but like Meriel, she was aware of the possible danger. Gerald was looking for a comfortable life and she wondered if that was all he saw when he looked at her, and uttered words of love. She found him attractive and there was something safe about being one of a loving couple. It promised a fulfilled life in the future, a home, children, someone there in good times and bad.

  She had no illusions about his loving her and wondered, rather sadly, just how important love was to this thirty-year-old who desperately wanted a wife and a comfortable home.

  The time since the war ended, when they had not been together, was fading from her memory, and the earlier years when they had been engaged no longer seemed separated by that emptiness but a continuing part of their long relationship. So many years to look back on plus the selective memories of someone half in love, made it hard to think of giving him up. She wondered sadly how many other people settled for second best. Was Gerald falling into that category? And, in Gerald’s eyes, was she?