Honor Under Siege

by Radclyffe

  outside

  Cams building. The door opened as she hauled her luggage toward it,

  and she smiled in recognition at the burly blond who stood just inside.

  Agent Wozinski made some linebackers look smal .

  “Hi,

  Greg.

  “Ms.

  Bleeker.

  Diane shook her head. Shed given up trying to get him to cal her Diane

  even though shed once spent a week with Blair and had seen him every

  day during that time. In the fi fteen years that shed been friends with

  Blair, shed grown used to the presence of security agents. But it had

  never been like this. So many, keeping such a close watch. She was

  surprised that Blair didnt break out more often. She would have.

  “Okay to go up? she

  asked.

  “Yes, maam. Il cal up and announce

  you.

  “Its 501, isnt

  it?

  “Thats

  right.

  The elevator was ef i cient, and Diane suspected that she arrived outside

  Cams door seconds after Wozinski cal ed. When she rang the bel , Blair

  immediately answered.

  “Hi. Blair pul ed her into a hug. “Im so glad you

  came.

  Diane hugged her back, surprised at the intensity of Blairs embrace. She

  leaned back, her arms clasped loosely around Blairs waist, and

  studied her. Blair looked more rested than when shed seen her ten days

  ago, but she could hardly look worse than she had the day after both

  Cam and Renée had been injured. Stil , there was something in

  Blairs eyes that telegraphed worry. Worry and...regret?

  “Are you okay? Diane looked past Blair into the expansive living room

  beyond. Cam, who stood behind a smal bar tucked into the far

  corner of the room, nodded in greeting. As usual, Diane could tel

  nothing from her expression. She waved and returned her at ention to

  Blair. “Did Lucinda give you a terrible task?

  “The usual, Blair said, trying to inject lightness into her tone. “I dont have

  al the details yet. She grasped the larger of Dianes suitcases. “Come on,

  let me show you where the guest room is.

  Diane hesitated. “Are you sure? I can stay at a hotel and give you two

  some privacy. I dont need to stay here.

  Blair shook her head. “No, I want you to stay here. She fol owed the

  direction of Dianes gaze. “Cam is fi ne with it. Real y. She laughed

  without much humor. “And God knows, were used to having people

  around al the time. At least with you, its by choice.

  “Youre sure? Diane realized that she real y wanted to stay with Blair.

  Shed been lonely almost beyond bearing in a city stil in the throes of

  grief.

  “Positive. Blair took Dianes free hand and tugged her into the apartment.

  “So this is the living room, bathrooms over there, and the guest room is

  down this hal way. She nodded to the opposite side of the living room.

  “Our bedroom is over there.

  Diane glanced back over her shoulder as she fol owed Blair. “Wel , hel ,

  I wont even be able to listen.

  Blair laughed. “Like you havent heard it al before. Wel , at

  least me.

  “Thats true, Diane said as they both set her luggage down in the guest

  room. “But we were sixteen.

  “Cam is opening some wine. Blair took in Dianes dark brown Tahari

  pantsuit

  and ivory silk shel . “Why dont you change into something

  sloppy and comfortable and join us in the living room. We ordered

  pizza.

  “God, that sounds fabulous. Diane removed her raincoat and draped it

  over the chair that sat in front of a narrow writing desk, kicked of her

  Jimmy Choos, and fl opped backwards onto the bed. She pat ed the

  space beside her as she curled on her side. “Stay for a minute fi rst.

  Blair climbed onto the bed and propped her head in the palm of her hand,

  facing Diane. As usual, Diane looked beautiful. Her shoulder length hair

  was more gold than Blairs honeyed tones, and nearly straight, framing a

  dramatic oval face with ice blue eyes. Katherine Hepburn in blond.

  “I feel like were back in prep school.

  “Sometimes I wish we were. Diane smiled wanly. She looked tired. Who

  didnt? Her eyes grew distant. “No, on second thought, maybe not.

  Because if we went back, Id stil be trying to seduce you, and youd stil

  be breaking my heart.

  “As I recal , Blair said fondly, “you did

  seduce me.

  “I dragged you into bed when you were stoned. Plus, youd been coming

  on to me al night, so that doesnt count. Diane laughed at the memory.

  “It was good sex though, wasnt it?

  “We were fi fteen. Of course it was. Blair sighed. “I do love you, you

  know.

  “I know. Diane stroked Blairs arm. “So whats

  wrong?

  Blair shook her head. She couldnt tel Diane about the situation with

  Valerie, not until shed had time to talk to Cam some more. Not until

  shed had a chance to decide what shed do if Cam sided with

  Lucinda and her father. Her mind rebel ed at the possibility, because

  she wasnt sure what she would do if she had to fi ght everyone she

  cared about. She wasnt sure she could stand being at odds with Cam

  over something like this.

  “God, you look sad, honey. Diane slid her hand to the back of Blairs

  neck and massaged her gently. “Is something wrong with Cam? Is

  she in trouble over what happened at the compound?

  “No, Blair said quickly. “Im just tired. And the last thing I wanted was

  to be dragged back here.

  “Are you going to tel me whats going on? Because Im probably the

  only person in the world besides Cam who can tel when youre upset

  and trying not to show it.

  “I wil , Blair said, realizing there was no point in denying what Diane

  already knew. “As soon as I can.

  Diane sat up and slipped of her jacket, then laid it on the bed beside her.

  “Do you think Cam can fi nd out where Valerie is?

  Blair caught her breath, glad that Diane wasnt looking at her. She took an

  extra second to be sure her voice was steady. “I dont know. Why?

  Diane stood, unbut oned her slacks, and slipped them of . Wearing

  just her blouse and panties, she opened her suitcase and lifted out a pair

  of soft, faded jeans. She pul ed them on and zipped them, then lifted of

  the shel and placed it with her suit. “Because I thought Id hear from her

  by now, and I havent. And I dont know how to go about fi nding her.

  “Maybe it would be bet er if you didnt fi nd her, Blair said

  careful y.

  “You mean you think her disappearing act was just her way of dumping

  me? Diane donned a pale blue cot on shirt and but oned it, turning

  partial y away from the bed so that Blair wouldnt see her hands

  shaking. She knew what Blair was trying to say, and she had considered

  that obvious explanation every day since Valerie had vanished one

  morning before dawn. Theyd had an af air and now it was over and she

  was a fool not to simply accept it. “You think I should

  just let her

  go?

  “I dont know, Diane, Blair said gently. “But its complicated with Valerie.
/>   Theres no way of knowing if she left because she wanted to or because

  she had to. But either way, she left without explaining, so I cant

  imagine she wants you to go looking for her.

  “She did cal me. Diane referred to the brief cal the morning that

  Valerie had disappeared. The morning of the raid on the mountain

  stronghold of a group of paramilitary fanatics. “That must mean

  something. If she was. .moving on, why cal ?

  Blair agreed, but was afraid to say so. She wasnt sure it was safe for

  Diane to have anything to do with Valerie now. Not when it seemed like

  half the country was looking for her. “You know shes an agent, and the

  whole national security system is in an uproar now. Its going to take

  time for everything to set le down. Weeks. Months maybe.

  “I dont want to wait months to talk to her. To see her again. Diane

  turned her back and walked to the window. She wrapped her arms

  around herself. “I miss her. God, I miss her.

  “Oh, hey, Blair said, hating the pain in Dianes voice. She scrambled of

  the bed and crossed to Diane, hugging her from behind.

  “Maybe Cam could just get a message to her from me. Just so

  she knows Diane struggled with tears. “Just so she knows I

  havent given up.

  “Ill do what I can, Blair

  whispered.

  Diane leaned back in Blairs arms and rested her cheek

  against

  Blairs. “Thanks.

  Blair held her tightly, wondering what shed just promised.

  And how she could keep her word to one woman she loved

  without betraying another.

  * * * * *

  The elevator jerked to a stop and Paula opened her eyes. For a

  few dizzying seconds, she wasnt sure where she was. Two

  women and a man, all in business suits, stood talking to her

  left, ignoring her as she leaned against the wall in the corner.

  She blinked at the number panel. 10 fl oor. A glossy picture of a

  restaurant on the far wall advertised the Veranda at the

  Wyndham Washington, DC. She was at the hotel where the

  team stayed when on temporary assignment in the Capitol. She

  remembered Hara dropping her off out front before he took the

  Suburban around to a special reserved parking slot. Then what?

  Jesus, was it possible shed fal en asleep standing

  up?

  “Excuse me. Flushing with embarrassment, she pushed away

  from the wall and jumped between the elevator doors as they

  started to close. Some Secret Service agent. Shed completely

  lost track of her surroundings. It didnt matter that she wasnt

  on duty. It was her job to be observant.

  She slid the plastic card key from her pocket as she strode quickly

  down the hal way, hoping to leave her discomfi ture behind.

  She let herself into room 1020. It was dark and still inside, and

  for an instant, she thought she was in the wrong place.

  “Renée? Unconsciously, she swept her blazer back and rested

  her hand on the grip of the Sig Sauer holstered on her right

  hip. “Babe?

  “Im here, Renée Savard replied.

  Paula felt on the wall for the switch, then hesitated. “Can I turn on

  the light?

  “Just a second.

  Paula heard the squeak of springs, then the bedside lamp came

  on. Renée, still in the clothes she had traveled in, lay on top

  of the covers on the queen sized bed. Renées holstered service

  weapon rested on the bedside table next to a prescription

  medicine bottle. Paulas stomach tightened, but she forced a

  smile as she crossed the room and leaned down to kiss her lover.

  She brushed her hand over Renées cheek.

  “Taking a nap?

  “Trying to.

  Paula settled gingerly on the side of the bed and tapped

  the immobilizer encircling Renées leg. “Is your knee bothering

  you?

  “Its fi ne, Renée said sharply, then just as quickly caught

  Paulas hand as Paula started to get up. “Im sorry. Yeah, its a

  little bit sore. She gestured toward the medicine bottle on the

  table. “Im trying not to take those things, but my whole body

  aches from not being able to move around much. This fucking

  immobilizer She trailed off, looking disgusted. “Christ, youve

  been on your feet working since dawn, and Im complaining.

  Renée closed her eyes and turned her head

  away.

  “Since Im here now and can wait on you, Paula said lightly as she

  released the

  Velcro straps on the stif wraparound brace, “why dont we take this of

  . The doctor didnt say you couldnt bend your knee, just that you couldnt

  weight-bear. No wonder it hurts, being squeezed in this thing for hours.

  You want me to lock up your weapon, too?

  “You should. I was going to wait until you got here to set the

  combination on the safe.

  “Il take care of it in a minute, Paula said, enormously relieved. She

  should know bet er than to think Renée would even considershe couldnt

  even complete the thought. Unexpectedly, she felt tears prick at her eyes

  and she blinked hard, her jaws clamped tight.

  “What? Renée studied her through narrowed

  eyes.

  “Nothing, Paula said hoarsely. “Just

  tired.

  Renée glanced from Paula to the bedside table, and she breathed in

  sharply. “You didnt think? Oh, sweetie, never.

  “I know, Paula said, cradling Renées hand in both of hers. “I know. Just

  for a minute there, when I walked in, it al felt so strange. Then I saw

  she shook her head. “Everything is changing so fast, sometimes I just

  feel confused.

  “Wheres

  Blair?

  “At the commanders, Paula said, unconcerned by the apparent switch in

  topic. Nothing happened in her life, or for the last few months, in

  Renées, until what real y mat ered was squared away. And that was

  Blair Powel s security. “She should be in for the night. Greg is there

  now, and Hara wil take the overnight watch. Il pick her up in the

  morning, unless she cal s to tel me shes going out.

  “Good. Secure our weapons and change into something comfortable.

  Then, come lie down with me.

  “Should I order us something to

  eat?

  Renée careful y drew her legs up and pul ed the covers aside. She

  opened her jeans and started to push them down over her hips. “In a

  lit le while.

  “Okay. Paula picked up Renées weapon and unholstered her own. She

  crossed to the closet and, after set ing the combination on the in-room

  safe, stored them away. Then she closed the drapes, stripped down, and

  folded her clothes over the arm of the reading chair in front of the

  windows. “I could probably use a shower.

  “Lets talk for a second. Then we can order dinner and shower while we

  wait for it to get here.

  Paula lifted the covers and slid into bed. She turned on her side and

  kissed Renée softly. “I missed you today. Careful y, she slid her arm

  around Renées shoulders and eased onto her back with Renée in her

  arms.

  “Whats going on with Blair needing to come back here, do you know?

 
Renée rested her cheek against Paulas breasts with a sigh.

  Paula hesitated. It was an innocent enough question, but she felt

  protective of Blair in a way she hadnt before, even though she had been

  prepared to protect her at the cost of her own life for more than a year.

  “Never mind, Renée said fl atly into the silence. “That was out

  of line.

  “No, Paula said. “It wasnt. Youve been part of the team in one way or

  another for months.

  “But?

  Paula sighed. “Im not

  sure.

  Renée kissed the soft, smooth skin of Paulas breast. “Its dif erent,

  being her

  security chief, isnt

  it?

  “You know, I owe you an apology, Paula

  whispered.

  “What? Renée raised her head, her expression concerned. “What

  are you talking about?

  “I never asked you how you felt about me accepting this assignment. Im

  sorry. Renée inched away and leaned on her elbow, trailing the fi ngers

  of her other

  hand absently up and down Paulas stomach. “Sweetie, you got a

  promotion that

  you deserved. Im real y proud of you. Dont you know that? Because if I

  didnt

  let you know

  that

  “No, Paula said quickly. “I mean, I never gave you a chance to say you

  didnt want me to do it.

  Renées eyes darkened. “Is that how I make you feel? That I dont want

  you to be Blairs security chief?

  “No, Paula said, frustrated. “But it means Il be traveling more, and

  working more, and probablyI dont know, distracted. And that af ects

  us. She cupped Renées jaw and traced her thumb over Renées cheek. “I

  dont want anything to come between us.

  “Youre a secret service agent, Paula, Renée said mat er-of-factly. “Just

  like Im an FBI agent. At least, I was.

  “Hey. You stil

  are.

  “Yeah, maybe. First my shoulder, now my leg. If I dont rehab a

  hundred percent theyre going to pul me out of the fi eld. Renée looked

  away. “Were not talking about me. Were talking about you. She glanced

  back to Paula, her eyes intent. “I understand what your job requires. Im

  okay with it. Im proud of you. Im just hings are tough right now, but its

  not you. She leaned down and kissed

  Paula hard. “Sweetie, its not

  you.

  Paula drew Renée into her arms again and returned her kiss. “I hate for

  you to be unhappy.

  “I just need to fi gure out what Im going to do if they transfer me to a