Honor Under Siege

by Radclyffe

  to search them.

  “Try.

  “Yes maam, Savard said smartly. “We might get something

  from the interrogations of his captured personnel too, if the Company

  hasnt buried the intel by now.

  “See what you can find there, Cam said, pleased with Savards natural

  instincts for counterintel igence. Shed need that kind of backup

  from her second-in- command. “And that brings us to the problem of

  Valerie Lawrence. We need to know who her Company handler is and

  determine if theres a link to Matheson.

  Davis took a breath. “Due respect, Commander, but there wont be any

  records

  of Lawrences handler. Its not like they keep employment

  files.

  “I know, Cam said, “and thats just one reason why we need to bring

  Valerie in.

  “We dont know if Matheson only uses men he recruited from his

  military academy. She could be his mole, Davis said. “Just like Foster.

  “She could be. I dont think she is. Cam expected her people to examine

  every option, and Daviss comment didnt bother her. “But until weve

  proven it one way or the other, she has to be considered potential y

  hostile.

  “How do we find her? Savard

  asked.

  Cam sighed. “Our only link is Diane. We have to hope Valerie tries to

  meet with her again and that Diane trusts me enough to tel me. In the

  meantime, weve got Foster and the four dead commandos from the

  assault on the Aerie. We know they were al at Mathesons military

  academy. Maybe thats not their only connection.

  “We real y need someone whos an expert on these paramilitary

  organizations, Savard said. “I bet al of these guys know each other.

  “Il work on that. Absently, Cam rubbed her sore shoulder. “Blair is

  scheduled to make a public appearance Saturday night at a fundraiser

  in Boston. Id like you two to assist with the security detail. I know its

  not in your job description any longer, and Starks doing a great job

  integrating Tanners people, but Il feel bet er if we had seasoned agents

  for this. Its her first solo appearance since

  9/11.

  “Of course, Savard said, joining Davis in accepting the assignment.

  “Do you think theyl try again so soon?

  “I dont know. Cam tried not to let her fury, or her seething sense of

  frustration, show. “But we cant af ord to think they wont.

  Chapter Fifteen

  S o, what do you think of the place? With a sweep of her arm

  Tanner indicated the world-class yachting marina tucked into a deep,

  narrow inlet on the ocean side of the island. Wrapping one arm around

  Blairs shoulders and the other around Dianes waist, she led the two

  women to the end of the longest pier. Sailboats and cruisers were

  moored in the slips along either side. The charterhouse and a luxury

  hotel completed the accommodations. “You like it?

  “Its amazing, Blair said. “Somehow youve managed to do al this and stil

  keep the untamed feel of the rest of the island.

  “Its great, Diane said, echoing Blairs sentiment. She hugged Tanner. “I

  admit, I never thought youd set le down enough to run the family

  business, let alone do something like this. I figured youd be lying out on

  some beach with a string of bored, horny cover girls breaking their

  heartsuntil you were fifty or so.

  “I might have been. Tanner grinned, then her expression sobered.

  “Except I

  dont know that I wouldve made it to fifty. I was a lit le crazy before

  Adrienne.

  Blair shook her head fondly. “God, she certainly has

  tamed you.

  “Ah, look whos talking. Tanner hip-bumped Blair playful y. “Who

  would have guessed youd pick a spooky to marry!

  “Yeah yeah, Blair said. “Come on, lets get of the pier. Its freezing in

  this wind.

  “I have to run up to the charterhouse for a second to check something,

  Tanner said, “then Il meet you at the car. She tossed Blair her keys.

  “Turn the heater on and warm her up for me. Kind of like old times.

  “Your charm doesnt work on me, Whitley. So Id watch your step. As

  Tanner laughed and hurried away, Blair grasped Dianes hand and studied

  her worriedly.

  “You okay? Tanner and I rhapsodizing about the joys of set ling down

  must be tough for you to hear right now.

  Diane nodded. “Im happy for you. Both of

  you.

  “I know that. But these tears arent from the wind. Blair gently brushed

  at the moisture on Dianes cheeks. “You look worn out.

  “Im okay. Im just not sleeping very

  wel .

  “Or eating very wel . Blair loosed an exasperated sigh as she keyed the

  remote to Tanners SUV. She pointed for Diane to get into the front

  passenger seat as she got behind the wheel and started the engine. “Its not

  going to do anyone any good if you make yourself sick.

  “Its hard not to think about it al the time, Diane whispered. “Its hard

  not to wonder where she is. Not to wonder if someones hurt she

  looked away, her voice breaking.

  “You dont have as much experience with this kind of waiting, of not

  knowing or understanding whats going on, as I have, Blair said

  emphatical y. “And Im glad. But now youve fal en in love with

  someone whose whole life has been a secret. Shes always going to have

  secrets, Diane, and you cant let that eat you up.

  Diane regarded Blair as if seeing her for the first time. “How do you

  handle it with Cam?

  “Not very wel most of the time, Blair said, grinning sheepishly. “After

  a while you accept that there are parts of themselves they dont, or cant,

  let us see. And once youre done being pissed of by it, you understand

  that those are the parts that make them frighteningly good at what they

  do. Valerie has to be that kind of good to have ever fooled Cam.

  Diane smiled weakly. “I guess the fact that my girlfriend and your

  girlfriend have

  a history makes some kind of cosmic sense,

  doesnt it?

  “That just might be the understatement of the year. Blair laughed briefly,

  thinking of the night shed unexpectedly discovered Valerie at Cams

  apartment in DC, and recognizing their connection, how much she had

  resented the place Valerie held in Cams heart. Cam swore that there

  was nothing between them any longer, and Blair knew that Cam

  believed it. But she had seen something that Cam had not. There had

  been a sadness in Valeries eyes that Blair understood with perfect

  clarity. Valerie had been deeply in love with Cam. Thinking about that

  sadness now, Blair found that she no longer resented what Valerie and

  Cam had shared. Valerie had been there when Cam needed someone,

  and that was al that real y mattered.

  “Shel need you, Di. Shel need you, but she wont let you know. Blair

  reached for Dianes hand. “Thats the hardest thing to rememberthat

  the need is there, even though its buried so deeply even she cant see it.

  Its a pain in the ass, but youl just have to get used to it. I know youre

  strong enough, and stubborn enough, to do it.

  “I dont feel very strong
<
br />   sometimes.

  “Then thats when you come find me, and Il

  remind you.

  “It helps to be with you, and I usual y love Whitley Point, Diane

  confessed, “but the quiet is driving me a lit le bit crazy right now. Ive got

  too much time to think. Maybe I should go back to Manhattan.

  Blair shook her head vehemently. “Not a chance. I want you to come

  to the fundraiser Saturday night. And if Paula can take it, wel go

  shopping again.

  “Okay. Diane laughed shakily as she glanced out the rear of the

  vehicle to where Stark and Hara sat in the Suburban. “If I have to suf

  er, I suppose she can too.

  “There, see? Youre sounding bet er already, Blair said, smiling. “Here

  comes

  Tanner. Il get in the

  back.

  As Blair stepped from the car, she caught sight of Tanners

  expression and stopped. “What is it?

  Tanner handed her the Boston Globe. “I dont know how you put up

  with this shit al the time. She slid into the front seat and slammed the

  door.

  Blair glanced down at the grainy picture of her in Paris with Cam

  standing just behind her. The caption read “Presidents daughter to

  marry lesbian loverAnti- same sex marriage groups protest.

  “Wel , Blair said as she climbed into the backseat, “Boston is looking a

  lot more interesting.

  She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, trying not to think

  about the crush of reporters sure to be waiting for her when she arrived

  at the fundraiser. She had wanted to go public, because any at empt not

  to would make her and her father appear like hypocrites when news of

  her plans inevitably leaked out. Nothing could be worse for a politician

  than the appearance of having one set of standards in public and another

  in private. Shed insisted on disclosure, but it was never easy exposing

  her personal life to public scrutiny.

  “Let me see that, Diane said.

  “Hey Tanner, Blair said, handing the newspaper to Diane as

  Tanner rocketed the SUV out of the parking lot and onto the

  narrow twisting road that hugged the ocean shoreline. Gravel

  spewed out behind them.

  “What? Tanner snapped.

  “Its okay. Its just another day at the

  office.

  “It sucks.

  “Yeah, that, too. Blair leaned forward and squeezed Tanners

  shoulder. “But try not to give Stark a heart attack and slow

  down a little.

  Tanner half turned her head, a grin pul ing at her mouth. Then

  she looked back to the road and eased off on the gas. “Sorry,

  force of habit. Im used to you tel ing me to lose your spookies.

  “Yes, Blair said softly. “How things have changed.

  * * * * *

  Cams jaw tightened as she scanned the newspaper. “Call

  Lucinda and tell her youre canceling for the fundraiser.

  Blair braced both arms on the kitchen counter behind her

  and lifted herself up so that she was sitting on it. She still wore

  the blue jeans and red sweater shed pul ed on to go out with

  Tanner. Cam was in her work clothes and still wearing her

  weapon, and although Blair knew it was foolish, the additional

  height advantage made her feel better. “I wouldnt do that even

  if it would do any good, which it wont. Once Lucinda makes up

  her mind

  “Lucinda is the presidents chief of staff, not yours. Cam tossed

  the newspaper onto the oak table and started for the front of

  the house. “If youd prefer, Ill tell Stark to call her.

  “Im sure Stark will appreciate

  that.

  Cam turned, her eyes narrowing. “What is that supposed to

  mean?

  “I know about the whole rank thing, but shes still my chief

  of security. I dont imagine shell appreciate being told anything.

  You never did.

  “Stark understands the situation, Cam said, thinking about

  the briefing with Davis and Savard, and about Blair at a

  crowded cocktail

  reception where it would be impossible to control the guest list

  or secure the physical environment beyond the most basic

  measures. Thinking how exposed Blair would be. A ball of anger

  and anxiety fil ed her chest. “The timing is bad, especial y after

  this newspaper article.

  “Weve already discussed this, Cameron. If it isnt this event, it

  will be some other one. We cant prevent a public response to

  anything we do.

  “Why do you sound so calm? Cam moved closer, but stopped

  two feet away. Just outside of touching distance.

  “Because I know youre not, and I know youre worried. Blair kept her

  hands on the counter, because she wanted to reach out and pul Cam

  across the divide. It was odd how she hated distance between them

  now. Once she had wanted, demanded , nothing but distance

  between herself and anyone who had the potential to hurt her. Mostly

  she resisted the urge to draw Cam near because she needed to judge

  exactly how much of Cams concern was her normal distrust of any

  public appearance and how much was a lovers less rational concern.

  If she touched her, her perspective would be gone. “Why are you so

  much more worried about this event?

  “Jesus, Blair! Maybe youve forgot en what happened Cam bit of the rest

  of the sentence, cursing herself inwardly when she saw Blair flinch. Of

  course Blair

  hadnt forgot en the assassination at empt at the Aerie. Blair would never

  be able to forget it, and bul ying her with the memory instead of

  explaining her own unease was cowardly. And cruel. “Im sorry, baby.

  Blair took a long breath. “Dont apologize. Just

  trust me. Cam fel silent and Blair watched her

  struggle, waiting.

  “I dont feel like Ive got a handle on anything right now, and I cant af ord

  to be wrong when your safety is at stake. Cam took one step closer and

  rested her fingertips lightly on the outside of Blairs thighs. “No one

  knows what real y happened in September. We dont know how

  much of the attack was orchestrated outside the country and what

  part insurgents inside the country might have played. But we know

  someone got very very close to you. She hesitated.

  “Say it, Cameron. Al of it. Blair pressed Cams hands to her legs,

  covering them with her own. Shed been wrong about not being able

  to think when Cam touched her. As the distance dissipated she could

  hear her far more clearly.

  “Theres no reason to think they wont try again, Cam said. “Until

  we have

  Matheson, until we have Valerie, the risk is greater than Im

  comfortable with.

  “Im not the only one at risk, Blair said softly. “Have you forgot en

  someone tried to run you down?

  “That might not even be

  related.

  Blair gave her a look. “What does Stark say about

  Saturday? Irritation flared in Cams dark eyes. “I havent

  discussed it with her. “Because

  Cam grimaced. “Because I havent managed the transition to her as your

  security

  chief

  very

  wel .

  “You take a lot
on yourself,

  Commander.

  “I love you, Cam

  whispered.

  “Oh I know. Blair said. “What if you dont find either Matheson or

  Valerie?

  “We wil

  .

  “Al right, until you find them, what do you suggest I do? It could be

  months. Years.

  “Are you trying to make me say things that wil piss

  you of ?

  “Wel , I do enjoy makeup sex. Blair lifted Cams hand and kissed the top

  of it. “But Im trying something new. Im working on being reasonable

  and rational.

  “I think maybe youre more dangerous this way than when youre flat-out

  furious, Cam grumbled. She eased forward until she was completely

  between Blairs legs, then wrapped her arms around Blairs waist and

  pul ed her forward until Blairs crotch rested against her middle.

  “Im not ready for the makeup sex yet, Blair whispered, wrapping

  her arms around Cams neck. “So dont get any closer.

  Cam rested her forehead against Blairs. “Youre cal ing the

  shots.

  “Hardly, Blair murmured, running her fingers through Cams hair. “I

  understand why youre not happy about the fundraiser, but it was

  scheduled months ago and if I cancel now, it wil seem as if were

  afraid. Add to that the newspaper headlines this morning, and it wil

  also look like Im ashamed of us. Neither of those things is true. Its not

  going to get any bet er, darling, because if its not Matheson, there wil

  be someone or something else that poses a threat.

  “Unfortunately, youre right. Cam sighed. “Assuming we do this, there are

  going to be a lot more press than usual.

  Blair grimaced. “I

  know.

  “Have you given any thought to what youre going to say about the

  wedding?

  “Wel , if its al right with you, I was thinking that Id say that Im deeply

  in love with you and plan to spend the rest of my life with you,

  and since thats traditional y the situation when people get married,

  thats my plan, too. Blair nuzzled Cams neck. “What are you going to

  say?

  Cam grinned and kissed Blair. “If its al right with you, I just thought Id

  say that Ive never met anyone who was bet er in bed, so it seemed like

  marrying you was the smart thing to do.

  “Real y? Blair skimmed her lips along the edge of

  Cams jaw.

  “Real y. Cam dragged Blair another inch forward, her hands cupping

  Blairs butt.