The Long Lost

by Patti Larsen

  Why hadn’t she told me? Misery shone in her pale blue eyes as her mind reached for me.

  It’s not true. He’s not leaving. A mental snuffle. If I told you… it would mean it was.

  Fair enough. Not like I’d talked to her much about losing Quaid. My eyes met Blood’s and I instantly felt better and worse all at the same time. He smiled at me, that big, gentle smile of his, black hair hanging in strings around his pale cheeks. He shook it back as he raised one hand. I fist-bumped him, too.

  “Syd. Yo.” He folded his middle two fingers under and rocked his hand back and forth. “Glad you could make it.”

  Okay, now he was choking me up. “Wouldn’t miss it,” I said.

  Pain released her hold on him with one hand, using an embroidered handkerchief to delicately blow her nose before hugging him tight again.

  Well, this was awkward.

  “Who’s hungry?” Alison gestured toward the table. I think Simon and Beth were there before I could react, desperate for something to distract from the horrible atmosphere.

  I helped myself to some pastry things stuffed with mushrooms and sat to watch my friends. Beth seemed happy, considering, as Tim catered to her, even going back for her favorite treats twice. Simon stuffed his little face, one bite sized bite after another. I’d never seen him so depressed.

  “I’m used to it.” Blood’s words made us all jump. “Happens about every two years or so. Dad gets a new job offer somewhere and off we go.” He leaned in and kissed Pain’s forehead ever so gently. “I’m usually okay with it. But this time really sucks.”

  “Wow,” Beth said. “I’ve never lived anywhere but here in Wilding Springs.” She blushed, ducking her head.

  “Me either.” Simon’s voice shook. He looked suddenly green.

  “We’re all home town kids, I guess,” Alison said. Even Tim nodded.

  So Blood and I were the odd ones out. I stared at Simon who let his plate fall to his lap, looking so very miserable I wanted to hug him.

  Before I could come up with something comforting but not embarrassing to say, he blurted, “I have news, too.”

  Everyone focused on him, even Pain. Simon shifted in his seat, so washed out now I was afraid he’d keel over. His fingers shook as they lifted to push back his glasses, nose wiggle unreliable when he was so upset.

  “Mom and Dad made me apply for college,” he said. “I start in September.”

  ***

  Chapter Nine

  I found myself congratulating Simon along with the others despite the look on his face. He did his best to be brave, but I knew that expression, had worn it a few times myself. The look of the newbie about to be thrown to the wolves of a new town.

  Worse for him was the fact I knew he was only fourteen and going to college. College. I was headed there myself the following year and I still didn’t feel ready. I could only imagine how afraid he was.

  Before we had much of a chance to go beyond our uncertain kudos, we were interrupted. Angela chose exactly then to prove to her daughter embarrassment was the only love language she knew.

  She clattered her way through the door, a drink in one hand, droplets splattering from the rim to paint the floor. Angela was as perfectly made up as usual, but there was a harsh plastic edge to her that always made me cringe. She smiled at us, the tight expression of a woman who was trying too hard.

  “Hello, children!” Her high heels slid over the wetness she’d spilled, ruining her poise. Not to mention calling us all children. Classy. “I hope you’re enjoying your little party?”

  I tensed, about to leap to my feet and cut the woman off at the pass when I glanced at Alison. I’d never seen her so furious in my life.

  She lurched forward, one hand grasping Angela’s elbow. “Mother,” she hissed, “you promised.”

  Angela jerked herself free, sliding further on the slippery floor, one heel scraping over the wood in a screech as the soft plastic cap came loose. “Where’s the music?” She took a sloppy drink, ignoring her daughter. “Can’t have a party without music.”

  My heart broke for Alison all over again. The tension in the room grew and grew as our friends sat frozen, their discomfort poisoning the air until I was sure I’d choke on it.

  “Mother.” Alison grabbed for her again. “We’re not celebrating. Our friend is moving away.”

  Angela looked us all over. “Oh.” She upended her glass and swallowed hard, a thin line of missed liquid running from the corner of her mouth. She dabbed at it with the cuff of her designer blouse, staining the pale pink silk. “Well, have fun.” Angela absently patted Alison’s cheek before turning toward the door. “Rosetta! My drink is empty.”

  No one said a word as Alison stood there, trembling and silent. There was nothing to say, really.

  The party broke up a heartbeat later when Blood climbed to his feet and saluted us all. “Gotta run,” he said. “Thanks for the soirée in honor, Al.”

  She did her best to recover but I was so afraid for her I wanted to shelter her and hovered at her side while the hugs went around. Everyone embraced her and I was grateful. Everyone but Tim that was, who just stood there and looked awkward.

  I loaded Simon into my car after he tried to call his parents for a ride. I wanted a few minutes alone with him but needed to make sure Alison was okay first. I left him sitting in Minnie, gazing with gloom out the windows at nothing while I stood with Alison on the front step while the others drove off. Her smile was tight, and her whole body shook, just a little.

  “Al,” I grasped her arm, “I’m just going to run Simon home then I’ll be back to help you take the deco down, okay?”

  She shook her head, fake smile still present. “It’s fine,” she said, so much false perk in her tone I wanted to shake her. “I’ll take care of it.”

  “But—“

  She cut me off with a sharp jerk of her arm, pulling free. Her expression flickered to anger as she looked away. “Just let me deal with it,” she whispered. “Please, Syd.”

  I backed off, sad, wishing there was something I could say or do. “Okay,” I said. “Call me later?”

  Her smile came back. “Sure.” I watched her turn away, go back inside, close the door behind her. She was so frail, her mental state a wreck. I didn’t have to have power to feel her insecurity. I just hoped she wouldn’t start drinking herself, after witnessing her willingness to turn to alcohol at the lake house. But she made it clear I wasn’t welcome at the moment, so I did as she asked and left her there.

  Some friend, right?

  My mind churned as I slid behind the wheel. Simon didn’t say much, but a soft sigh from him pulled my attention back. I drove off, hoping I could at least help one of my friends.

  Simon’s black shoes swung, feet not reaching the floor, one heel thumping against the side of the door with annoying regularity.

  “Want to talk about it?” Not that I really had a whole lot of good advice to offer. My usual response to moving to a new place was fit in and be as normal as possible. Kind of hard for a teen witch who repelled normals like I had the plague. But he had it much worse and we both knew it.

  “It’ll be okay.” His voice still shook a little. Simon fiddled with his glasses, a sure sign he was upset. “Mom and Dad thought it was a good idea.”

  His parents needed a swift kick in their sense of reality. “Do you want to go?”

  He shrugged, looking so tiny and forlorn next to me I would have hugged him if I wasn’t driving. “I guess. It’s a great opportunity.”

  Parrot. I sighed. I’d always known Simon was smart, but I had no idea he was that smart. So how then could he be such an idiot?

  “Scared?” I whispered it.

  It was a long time before he nodded.

  “What school?”

  “Harvard.”

  I let out a breath and actually smiled. “Perfect,” I said.

  He frowned a little, but there was hope in his eyes. “Why’s that?”

  “Because,”
I said, “you might be a year ahead of me now, but I’ll be joining you after I graduate.” Small comfort really, seeing as he’d be alone a whole year, but it really seemed to perk him up. He actually sat a little straighter, the horrible paleness leaving him.

  “Really?” Simon’s ready smile returned, his gums tinted by the purple juice he’d drunk at the party. “You already know you’re getting into Harvard? That’s awesome, Syd. Are you sure?”

  Boy, was I ever. Founded by witches, their school hidden inside the same vaunted halls as the normals, Harvard University was the one and only place I could attend if I wanted to continue my magical studies. Either that or go to Europe and I wasn’t really interested in that.

  “Yup.” I winked at him before smiling as gently as I could. “You’ll be okay, Si.”

  He waved when I dropped him off, standing there for a long time while I dove away, a small figure in black in my rearview mirror. It broke my heart to see him standing there and me just driving off.

  It made me want to do something nasty to his folks.

  As I rounded the last corner toward home, I felt sadness creep in. Simon was leaving, Blood moving away. Even Beth seemed to be drifting off on her own with Tom. John? Jim? Whoever. And with Alison so fragile and Pain bound to be a mess for the next little while, my life and its circle of fun was rapidly shrinking to nothing.

  When I’d first moved to Wilding Springs, all I wanted was to be normal. And to have friends. Nothing was more important, because I’d never had any before. But now I understood what losing them felt like, I kind of wished I’d let Alison keep pushing me around. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so lonely.

  Now that I really knew what lonely meant.

  I was a little surprised to find Pain standing in my driveway when I pulled up. She must have come right to my place after the party, though I wondered where Blood was and why she’d chosen me over him. I climbed out of Minnie and went right to her. She’d cleaned herself up some, though the faded tracks of black makeup still marked her skin like a disease.

  “Hi.” She breathed it, held her arms out to me. I hugged her and stroked her hair while she cried on my shoulder. This was Mom’s job, really. But her car was gone and I couldn’t feel her around so I guessed I’d have to do.

  Pain finally pulled away, snuffling and wiping her nose on the cuff of her shirt. “Want to walk?”

  I followed her down the street, strolling really, her heavy black boots thudding against the sidewalk, joined by the jingle of chains as her belt and many piercings collided musically. I hugged myself as we walked, wishing there was more I could do to help her.

  “I’m afraid.” Her voice hitched a little.

  “Of what?” I was pretty sure I knew the answer, but maybe it would help her to say it out loud. Maybe that was what I was there for.

  “Being alone.” She looked off into the distance, feet scuffing the ground, hands jammed in the pockets of her black jeans. “Seems like I’ve been alone my whole life. Don’t get me wrong,” she grabbed my hand suddenly. “I’m so grateful to you and your mom and Ethpeal and everyone.” Pain sighed. “It’s just… I’ve never really felt like I belonged anywhere. But Blood, he understands me, you know? No one else does.”

  “He’s pretty cool.” Lame. So lame. But it did the trick. She smiled through her tears and nodded.

  “He really is.” This time when she sighed it was as if she tried to push all of her sadness out in one breath. “Oh Syd,” she said, “what am I going to do?”

  I stopped her, turned her around to face me. “Go spend as much time with him as you can before he leaves.”

  She shook her head. “He told me I had to go,” she said. “That it would be better if I did.” Pain sobbed once, face buried in her hands. “I can’t stand it.”

  I hugged her again, there on the street, rocking her a little as she emptied her hurt out onto my shoulder. I fought off my own grief for her sake, refusing to dissolve into a blubbering idiot when she needed me to be strong.

  It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but I did it for her.

  ***

  Chapter Ten

  It took Pain some time to pull herself together, and even when she did there was no way I was letting her find her own way home. I left her at her doorway, waving as I walked off, feeling a sense of déjà vu. Hadn’t I just done the same for Simon?

  This day was some major suckage. Thank goodness it was almost over. Dark was falling over Wilding Springs, shadows lengthening before me as the sun set. I breathed in the cooling air as night approached, taking my time on my way home. The streets were quiet, only the odd car driving by to hit me with their headlights. Even that little disruption bothered me.

  I needed to be alone.

  The park beckoned, a beautiful, wide expanse leading almost all the way to my door. I crossed it on a diagonal, glancing into a stand of trees, remembering the night Sunny, Quaid and I met to talk about retrieving my demon. Thinking of Quaid just made things worse.

  I was inside the trees by then, just entering the park, when I felt someone following me. The feeling came in many facets—the sensation of being followed joined by the soft tread of a footfall, the exhale of a breath. Distinctly canine.

  Galleytrot. For some reason, the idea he’d tracked me all the way to Pain’s and back made me furious. I spun and hunted the darkness with my eyes, letting my demon feed me her sight so I could see through the gloom. Nothing. No one. I was alone, aside from a sleepy squirrel climbing a maple and an owl just waking for a night of hunting.

  Maybe I was mistaken. I turned back, continued on, only to feel the same sensation, as if eyes were locked on my back. I heard a soft animal- like chuckle at the same moment.

  This time when I spun, I was spitting mad. “Galleytrot!” I hissed his name into the dark. “Stop it! Just come out, you stupid mutt.”

  Silence. Eerie, dead calm. Nothing moved or even whispered. It was as if the very trees held their breath.

  “Galleytrot?” I reached out with my magic, felt for him, found him at last, his mind hiding. Only then did I realize my mistake.

  I didn’t recognize the touch. Canine, yes, but not my Sidhe dog. I felt my pulse increase, fear thrilling through my veins, making all of my senses sharp and intense. I smelled something coming, a heavy, musky odor as unpleasant as anything I’d encountered, even worse than Galleytrot after a heavy rain.

  Steeling myself, I felt further, grasped for the mind dodging me, trying to pin down whoever it was. After a moment of skimming over it I touched another. Distinct, female, canine. She left me as quickly. I grasped for her, found yet another.

  It was only then I felt them closing in, multiple followers, all focused on me. Their thoughts skimmed over me, undecipherable but chilling, prodding me, testing me, as though seeking my weaknesses.

  I slammed up my shields, my demon roaring in defense. Even my Sidhe side felt outrage. Good, at least we were all on the "save me" page.

  Excellent.

  Just as I was sure the group of whoevers pursuing me were about to strike, they faded away into the night, the touch of their minds leaving me one by one. I tried to chase them, my courage returning with the surge of my magic and their retreat, but they were gone so quickly I was left, panting and sweating, in the dark, alone and very afraid.

  Needless to say, I ran home.

  Galleytrot met me at the door, eyes glowing red. “What happened?”

  “Were you in the park just now?” I gasped, not from being winded but out of fear.

  He shook his head, black mane swinging. “I felt your anxiety.”

  Nice of him to phrase it that way when I was scared out of my silly mind.

  “Come,” he said, pushing his way out the door. I followed him, knees shaking even as I chastised myself for being stupid. He reached the spot where I’d stood before I could make it back there, pacing around, nose to the ground. When he stopped, he growled, low and deep in the back of his throat.

 
“Definitely canine,” he rumbled, “but with something else. Underneath.” He drew a snuffling breath in the air, head up. “Something… dark. And tainted.”

  I hugged him around his furry neck as he sat back on his haunches, tongue lolling to the side. “They’re gone though, right?”

  He nodded before swiping his tongue across my cheek. “You okay?”

  “Yes.” I sighed and leaned against him. “Just been a crappy day, you know?”

  We looked out into the dark together for a moment as my mind settled and my fear retreated. Whoever it was ran from me. So they were afraid. Perfect. Time for me to grow up and act like a witch, not a chicken.

  Bwack, bwack.

  “You can’t tell Mom.” I knew that for a fact. She’d freak and she had enough to worry about with Dad.

  “Syd…” Galleytrot stood and faced me. “She needs to know.”

  “About what?” I shrugged and even smiled. “It was obviously nothing. They took off, whoever they were. It’s over and done with, and I don’t want to worry Mom when she’s got so much on her plate.” I felt him resisting and added an extra incentive. “I promise if something else happens, I’ll tell her, okay?

  He hesitated then sighed. “Fine, I won’t say anything.” Galleytrot butted me with his big head. “But you know what this means, right?”

  Sigh. Right. I thought he hung around a lot before? I now had a permanent, drooling shadow.

  ***

  Chapter Eleven

  This time when I flew down the stair in my pajamas and out the back door I knew who I was running to kiss. No doubts, no confusion, just pure joy and the need to throw my arms around his neck and never let go.

  Quaid caught me as I leaped, my legs wrapping around his waist as I dug my hands into his hair and locked my mouth on his. For one blissful, amazing, beautiful moment, I was full of his scent, the sound of his leather jacket creaking, the feel of his black hair, the way his stubble scratched my cheek. He tasted delicious, his heat transferring to me as his power stretched out like hot taffy and engulfed me completely.