Shane drove us further and further away from town, finally pulling over on an inconspicuous stretch of the road. I couldn’t tell why he’d stopped here. It was no different than anywhere else along the highway. Tall cedar trees reached up toward the sky, where fluffy clouds dotted the azure ceiling and drifted along in the breeze. The maze of trees spread out far beyond, bracken and moss growing at their roots. It was still, and the mid afternoon sun had left the area warm and fragrant with the smell of pine and cedar.
Shane killed the engine and pulled off his helmet. I followed his lead.
“Where are we?” I asked, running a hand through my hair to untangle it.
I jumped off the bike and Shane followed, setting our helmets on the handlebars.
“I want to show you something,” he said. “Something I’ve never shown anyone.”
I laughed. “Is that the line you use on all the girls you bring here?”
He turned to me, and there was an intensity in his gaze I’d never seen before. It gave me pause. Shane’s hair was ruffled from the helmet, and he made no attempt to smooth it. The smoldering look in his eyes was pure devil, and I curled my toes in anticipation.
“I mean it, Dallas. I’ve never brought anyone here.”
His voice was gravelly, deep. I found myself nodding, unable to form any verbal reply.
The moment broke. Shane’s mouth widened into a grin. “Come on. You’re going to like this.”
He turned toward the small embankment leading down into the woods, picking expertly through the underbrush and then angling around to extend a hand toward me. I took it, even though I would have had no problem navigating the terrain by myself. I was missing the touch of his back against my chest, and this small ounce of intimacy was the next best thing.
Shane didn’t drop my hand when I reached flat ground. I didn’t drop his either. I wondered what Sasha would think if she could see us now. She’d probably make some snarky comment about how Shane was trash or something else entirely uncalled for, while secretly wishing she could be the one holding his hand. I didn’t know when she had become so bitter. Was it even bitterness? She’d grown up even humbler than I had, so I could only suspect that her superiority complex was her way of making up for a lifetime of mediocrity. I worried about her sometimes. She wasn’t the same girl who used to dress up in fairy costumes that we made out of bedsheets and glitter. I wasn’t that same person either, I supposed, but at least I could still recognize myself. I hated the thought that I might one day turn into a version of myself so perverted that somebody who knew me wouldn’t be able to recognize me.
“What are you thinking about?” Shane asked, leading me between trees and over stumps.
The ground was well-worn, though there wasn’t a path per se. I could at least tell that there was a rhyme and reason to the direction we were heading and that we weren’t lost. Then again, I trusted Shane. If he were to lead me through here blindfolded, I would still trust him. I’d known him my whole life, and though we hadn’t spent much time together in recent years, that feeling of trust remained. Plus, my dad certainly thought he was trustworthy. Then again my dad’s judgment wasn’t its best these days.
“All sorts of things I shouldn’t be thinking about,” I replied.
Shane looked down at me with a questioning expression. “What kinds of things shouldn’t you be thinking about?”
I waved my free hand dismissively. “Just stupid stuff that doesn’t belong here. This place is already amazing and I don’t want to ruin it with my angsty teenage drama.”
“What angsty teenage drama do you have, Dallas Keane? You seem like the most carefree girl I know.”
A smile took over my face, and I looked down shyly. “I was just wondering what Sasha would say if she knew I were here. She thinks you’re bad news.”
“Maybe she’s right.”
I looked up at him with a flat expression. There was a twinkle of humor in his eyes that made me nearly swoon.
“If you’re such bad news, why does it seem like all you do is go to school and work at my dad’s shop?”
“That’s not all I do,” he defended. “Jake and I play video games at his parent’s store sometimes.” He grinned. “I’m merciless at Street Fighter.”
I laughed at the mental image of Shane and nerdy Jake Rowland playing video games together. They were an unusual pairing if I’d ever seen one, and I liked that about Shane. He didn’t care about image. Jake was a lovely guy but yet another person in whom Sasha would find something nasty to harp on.
I couldn’t wait to get out of high school and spread my wings in the world. I could find new friends, ones who didn’t look down on everybody and everything that didn’t fit into their idea of how the world should be. New friends like Shane. Except it was more evident by the second that friendship was not what I craved from the brooding bad boy.
“Yeah, a real rebel without a cause.” I rolled my eyes playfully. “I should watch my back around you.”
Shane laughed, exposing a set of perfectly straight teeth. He looked boyish when he laughed, like a mischievous kid who just got away with the perfect prank.
I noticed the trees thinning up ahead and peered through the foliage. “Is this it?” I asked.
Shane nodded and pulled me along beside him as he picked up the pace. “I come here when I need to think,” he said, suddenly sober. “Or just when I need to be alone.”
We stepped through the last of the trees and into a verdant green meadow. The sunlight hit me full force, warming my cheeks and making my whole body feel like it was glowing. I smiled and turned my face up to it, basking in the warmth for a moment as Shane walked me further along.
“It’s beautiful.” I snapped my eyes back open and took in the long grass, the pink and white flowers bustling up from their long winter’s sleep, and the lavender swaying in the light breeze.
“It’s nice like this, but I prefer it in the winter.” Shane led me over to a log. The grass was shorter in front of it. Worn down, I realized. He must’ve sat here a lot.
“What’s it like in the winter?”
He sat, guiding me down next to him as he considered my question.
“Lonely,” he said finally. “It’s quiet. Everything’s cold and wet, and it seems miserable, but when you sit in it for long enough, it feels like you’re a part of something ancient and wild.” He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “Does that sound totally deranged?”
I shook my head. “No! Not at all. I think about that sometimes when I’m at the beach. The waves have been turning over and over for millions of years, and sitting there with the salt spray in your nose feels like tapping into that.”
Shane’s eyes warmed, his lips quirking into a little smile. “You’re something else, Dallas. You really are.”
I was bashful all of the sudden and glanced down at my jeans to hide the red that was surely rising from my neck. I knew very little about Shane and figured now was as good a time to ask as any.
“You live out in Greenridge, right?” I asked, meeting his eyes again.
“Sure do.”
“With your mom?”
Something flitted across his face. “Yeah, just my mom.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, where’s your dad?”
“I don’t mind you asking at all,” he said. “There just isn’t much to tell. The asshole left before I was born and neither mom or I have heard anything about him since then. Good riddance, as far as I’m concerned. Mom’s done an amazing job raising me on her own. She put herself through school and started working as a nurse a few years ago. She’s got a bit of debt to pay down, but we’re finally at the point where we’re doing alright. It was tight for a few years, but she got us through it. We didn’t need that bastard.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “That must’ve been hard.”
He shrugged. “Nothing’s easy in this life, but at least growing up the way I did allowed me to bond with my mom. We were like two soldiers in
the trenches together at times, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.”
“You seem to have a positive way of looking at everything,” I noted.
He chuckled. “Yeah, that’s something I get from my mom too. She’s always looking on the bright side, always striving to be better. I admire her.”
I didn’t mean for it to show on my face, but a wave of jealousy hit me out of nowhere, smack dab in the chest. My face fell, and Shane noticed.
“Hey,” he said quietly, tipping my chin up to search my eyes. “What’s the matter?”
His eyes were as green as the meadow, with beautiful flecks of gold. An instant calm settled over me.
“I’m sorry. I just...” I sighed. “I miss my mom a lot. My dad hasn’t been the same since she died and sometimes it feels like I lost both of them in one fell swoop.”
Shane’s thumb stroked my cheek, and I leaned into the touch.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I remember when that happened. Was it two years ago now?”
I nodded. “About then. Cancer’s a bitch.”
His hand dropped to clasp mine, and he squeezed. “I didn’t know your dad before. Was he that different?”
“Sometimes he’s his old self,” I said. “But often he’s just really out of it. He took it very hard and refused to come to me for comfort, as if he felt he was letting me down if he needed to lean on me even a little bit. That ended up just making me feel lonely, and I think it stunted his recovery to the point where he only seems just now to be coming out of it.”
“But at least he’s coming out of it.”
“That’s true.” I shrugged. “I still worry about him though. He forgets things, and he’s impulsive. He came home with a ride-on lawnmower not long ago, said he was going to fix it and sell it and never did. It’s still rusting in our backyard, but as far as he’s concerned, it may as well not even exist. It’s like there are two different people in the driver’s seat but neither of them talk to each other. I don’t know if my mom used to be a moderating influence or if he’s just lost the plot.”
“I don’t think he’s lost the plot,” Shane assured me. “I’ll be honest. It seems like there’s been something on his mind lately. Maybe you should ask him about it.”
The thought of asking my dad something like that was almost laughable. He never confided in me before, and he wasn’t about to start now. I decided to change the topic, curious to learn more about my companion.
“What do you want to do after high school?”
If Shane was caught off guard by my question, he didn’t show it. He smiled, though it was a pained smile, and said, “To be honest, I’m not sure. I’ve been playing with the idea of joining up. I need a little direction in my life, and the military seems like the best place to get it. Plus I get to serve my country, which I’ve always found very appealing.”
“I like that,” I replied. “Much nobler than what I want.”
“And what do you want, Dallas?”
The honeyed drawl of his tone sent a shiver of pure pleasure down my spine. I added extra emphasis to my answer as a way of not showing how he affected me.
“To be a star!” I cried, flinging my arms wide. “I’ve had Broadway dreams since I was old enough to know what Broadway was. After I graduate, I’m going to save up like crazy and move to New York. Then I’m just going to hope I don’t fall flat on my face.”
“You’re going to do great.” Shane bumped his shoulder against mine. “If anybody can do it, you can.”
I snorted. “You don’t even know if I can sing.”
“You’re a smart girl. If you couldn’t sing you’d have figured it out by now.”
I looked up at him and smiled. He believed in me. I could see that he wasn’t just saying what I wanted to hear, and I loved that. I never talked about it in front of my other friends these days since Sasha was almost guaranteed to get snotty at even the mention of the B word. But Shane...Shane believed in me.
“It’s getting late,” he announced suddenly, slapping his hands on his thighs. “I should get you home before your dad sends out a search party.”
I laughed but allowed him to help me to my feet. “I doubt he’s even noticed we’re still gone.”
“Still,” he replied, “I gotta head home soon. My mom’s coming off a twelve-hour shift, and I want to have dinner waiting for her when she gets home.”
My heart nearly exploded. Shane was already heading back toward the road, and I trailed after him on a beam of pure rainbows. He didn’t seem to notice, and I doubted he thought anything of it, but that was the moment I knew for certain that he had a heart of gold.
We got back to the bike, and I reached for my helmet, but Shane stopped me. I looked up in alarm just as he closed the distance between us and kissed me.
Having never kissed a boy before, I had no basis for comparison, but Shane had to be the best kisser in the world. His lips danced expertly over mine, and even though I felt clumsy in my actions, he seemed to know how to move in just the right way to guide me. Fireworks went off in my head, millions of glittering explosions from somewhere deep within me. It was everything I’d ever wanted in a first kiss.
Shane’s hands came around my waist, pulling me closer. He nibbled on my bottom lip, and I sighed, lost in the pleasure of the moment. Lost in him. My toes tingled with pleasure. My hands raked down his back. I could have lived in that moment forever and never wanted for anything more.
Shane pulled back, both of our eyes fluttering open and finding each other in the small distance. His mouth curved into a wicked grin and he passed me the helmet, turning to mount the bike before I had a chance to say anything. Not that I still possessed the ability to speak.
I climbed on behind him and shoved my helmet onto my head. Then, smiling bigger than I ever had, I wrapped my arms around his waist, and we took off into the cedar-scented afternoon.
Chapter 5
Shane
Today was the day. Today I would ask Dallas to the prom and, based on her reaction to our kiss yesterday, today would be the day she said yes. I could barely wait. I was distracted all through football practice, feeling nothing but the burn in my arm from the throws and the burn in my belly that still simmered from our kiss.
She was perfect in every way. Beautiful, yes, but so much more than that. There was a depth to Dallas that I hadn’t accounted for. I knew she was kind and sweet and intelligent, but a lot was going on in her head besides that, and I was desperate to learn. I wanted to be the one to listen to her problems, the one she could come to when she hurt or when she wanted to celebrate. I wanted to be there for her. Period.
Beyond that, there was something electric between us. Something real. I could only hope that she felt it as keenly as I did because I’d spent all day wondering how long I’d be able to breathe if I didn’t get to see her soon.
I was so wrapped up in my head that at first I didn’t notice Wes and his friends having a chuckle party by the water cooler. I wouldn’t normally care either, except they were extra loud and obnoxious today and they were supposed to be practicing too. I expected the coach to go over and tell them to get back to work, but then again even the adults at this school didn’t mess with Wes Gromley. Or they didn’t mess with his dad, I supposed.
I’d never cared much either way, but I knew I wasn’t Wes’s favorite person. He would be the quarterback if it weren’t for me. I couldn’t wait to see his reaction when he found out that Dallas chose me over him. I’d been watching him try to put the moves on her lately. She would never go for him, whether I was in the picture or not, but it was going to be a particularly sweet piece of entertainment when he realized that once again, he didn’t make the cut.
I toyed around with the idea of going over there to tell them to get back on the field but decided I didn’t care enough. Then I heard my name.
Anger flared in my veins. Were they talking about me? Laughing about me?
I stomped over to them, pulling off my helmet and let
ting it hang by my side.
“Hey!” I called. “What’s going on over here?”
Wes was surrounded by his usual goons—Rob Boleskine, Nelson Vurdock, and Paul Chesterfield. Rob was the beefiest guy in our school and clocked in at about 6’6”. He had arms the size of steel beams and a gut that he could barely wrestle into the uniform. Nelson was shorter and slighter, and immediately recognizable wherever he went because of the shoddily done barbed wire his drunk of a cousin Ronnie tattooed around his bicep the previous summer. He thought he was tough shit, and was always the loudest of the bunch. Paul often hung in the back. He was the skinniest of all of them, though he was close to Wes in height. I got the impression that like a pilot fish, he hung around as a way of self-preservation. Stay close to the predator, and you don’t become the prey.
All four sets of eyes turned to me as I approached. They all laughed.
“Here comes poor boy himself,” Wes taunted.
I ignored the insult. Or tried to, at least. My veins pumped fire, and I knew taking the high road wasn’t going to get me any relief. I could at least use my anger to encourage them to get their asses into gear.
“Why don’t you worry a little less about me and more about practice?” I asked. “Maybe if you did, we might win a game now and again.”
I could tell that struck a chord. I played because it helped me relax, but they all played for the glory. Actively ignoring the fact that we barely ever had reason for celebration was probably the only way these knuckleheads got to sleep at night.
“Of course,” Wes said like he’d just had a lightbulb moment. “If we don’t get you a scholarship, you’re never going to afford college, are you? Is the trailer park throwing a big graduation party for you?” He turned to his friends, chuckling, “I reckon it’ll be a real hillbilly hoedown!’
“If you’re going to try to insult me, the least you could do is come up with something original.” I folded my arms and glowered at Wes. “Are we going to have a problem or have you finished peacocking for the day?”
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