“What’s peacocking?” Paul asked. “It sounds dirty.”
Wes shot him a nasty glare, nastier even than the ones he reserved for me, but Rob saw an opportunity and pounced.
“No, you’re thinking of a pearl necklace,” he said. “I hear Shane’s mom will do that for you for a bargain.”
I gritted my teeth. He’d done it now. He could make fun of me all he wanted, but my mom worked her fucking ass off, and I wasn’t about to let some shit for brains jock with an inferiority complex drag her name through the dirt.
“You better take that back, Rob.”
“Or what?” he taunted. “You’ll run home and cry to your mommy? Just make sure she doesn’t have a client over. You don’t want her to miss out on potential income.”
Most people say they see red when the anger takes over, but I saw nothing. It came back to me afterward, the flash of surprise on Rob’s face, the sickening sound of crunching bone, his agonized scream as he fell back into the dirt. The others were either too shocked or too scared to come at me, and instead, they flocked to the side of their fallen comrade and shouted for the coach. He’d been watching nearby and arrived on scene within seconds, pushing me out of the way to assess the damage. He yelled something at me about going to the principal’s office, but I was already on my way.
My knuckles stung, but they weren’t broken. That meant the thing that broke was on Rob somewhere, and I remembered back to how his jaw seemed to give under the pressure of my fist. Unnaturally so.
I smiled. That would teach him for talking about my mother.
Unfortunately, now it was my time to face punishment.
The principal yelled at me for a full fifteen minutes before Coach showed up. He yelled at me for an additional fifteen minutes. When they finished yelling, the pair had to decide what they were going to do with me. I obviously couldn’t stay on the football team. Coach wanted me expelled to boot, but the principal wanted to keep the situation as clean as possible. Rob and his family were unlikely to take it to the school board, and he preferred to keep school drama as contained as possible.
Besides, Rob would find another way to come for me. Neither of them said so, but they were both thinking it. Rob’s dad was big in with Wes’s dad, so that meant I was basically fucked. I didn’t care. I was probably the first person ever to stand up to that bully and I’d do it again a thousand times if I needed to. If nothing else, he might think twice about who he picked on in the future.
After my haranguing I was sent home and told that they’d be in touch with my parents to tell them what a bad boy I’d been. That was the only part of the entire situation that made me uncomfortable. My mom adored me and worried about me more than her well-being, so I knew if she found out I got into a fight she’d be furious. There wasn’t any way to keep it from her, unfortunately, since I couldn’t steal her phone and impersonate her, though the idea of doing so made me smile on my way out to my bike. At least because of her crazy schedule, she probably wouldn’t find out tonight, which would give me some time to relax for a bit before she started in with the worrying.
I parked my bike in our trailer’s little carport, glad to make it home just before it started to rain. The aluminum door creaked open loud enough to wake the dead, though that never bothered my mom when she was sleeping during the day. In fact, we often joked she slept even sounder than my dad—though sadly that was because her job was more exhausting than the business of living entirely.
The trailer was empty, as expected. Mom was working a double today, so she wouldn’t be home until long after I went to bed. I cracked open the fridge to suss out the dinner situation and was surprised to find a homemade lasagna on the top shelf, with directions for the oven and everything. I didn’t know where in her day Mom found the time to make me a big ass lasagna. She probably didn’t think anything of the gesture, either. To her, it was just her duty as a mother.
Fuck.
Guilt washed over me like a tempest on the rocks. How was I supposed to explain what I’d done today? I had to be the one to tell her, as much as that was going to suck. I couldn’t wait for the school to do it. She deserved better than that. I’d be damned before I told her the real reason for my lashing out though. If she asked, I would merely say they were making fun of me. Just me.
The most annoying part of it all? None of the other guys would be going home tonight wondering how to explain themselves to their parents. None of them gave a shit. Wes especially. His father would congratulate him if he decked some guy at school for pissing him off, justification or no. Hell, Preston Gromley probably wished his son would go around punching more people.
My only consolation was that I’d broken Rob’s jaw, which meant he wouldn’t go wagging it at anybody anytime soon.
A small comfort, I know.
Today was supposed to be the day I asked Dallas out. Instead, I got myself kicked off the football team.
Oh well. There was always tomorrow.
Chapter 6
Dallas
“Don’t you think it’s disgusting?”
I didn’t realize Sasha’s nasally question was directed at me until the whole table turned to look, waiting for my answer. I’d been pushing peas around on my plate for the past several minutes, completely absorbed in my thoughts. The meatloaf looked especially drab today, and since I had no idea what Sasha was talking about, I figured that was probably it.
“Yep, pretty gross,” I said. “Further evidence for my assertion that we’re served the same food as the county jail.”
That was not the right answer. Sasha rolled her eyes.
“Were you even listening?”
“Not really,” I answered. It grated on me that Sasha expected everyone to pay her the utmost attention at all times. She had a whole table of people listening to her tirade, whatever it was today. Why did it matter if I zoned out for a bit?
Sasha rolled her eyes again. “I was commenting on how that Shane Kelly guy has finally shown his true colors. We should get him barred from prom.”
Ah, that was why she wanted my input. I hadn’t told anyone about my day in the woods with Shane, or about our kiss, but it wasn’t because I was ashamed. The moment just felt too private to ruin by having Sasha pronounce her opinion on it. Right now it was something special, a moment I didn’t have to share with anyone other than the only person who mattered.
Still, Sasha heard that Shane was trying to talk to me the other day and for some reason was determined to draw from me some condemnation. Not today.
“We only know one side of the story,” I replied. “I’d say it’s none of our business. Besides, you’re not even going to prom. Why do you care?”
I swear I heard someone down the line gasp. A look of pure alarm splayed across Sasha’s features, but my satisfaction was brief. A second later she composed herself and gave me a look so cold I swore I saw my breath.
“Just because I don’t plan on going to prom doesn’t mean I think they should let in that kind of low life,” she spat back. “Rob and Wes are our friends. Are you saying they’re liars?”
All Wes had said about “the incident” was that Rob made a joke and Shane flew off the handle. Rob hadn’t said anything because he wouldn’t be saying anything for a long while. His jaw was wired shut until it healed, but Wes was doing enough talking for the both of them. The whole school knew by now that Shane was a psychopathic freak with anger issues. Or, at least, that’s what Wes was peddling. I didn’t buy it for a second.
“I’m saying that you should be a little bit more discerning about your information before you start trying to start some rally against someone you don’t even know.”
“Whatever Miss Virgin Brigade, defender of the ‘innocent’.” Sasha put the word “innocent” in air quotes and scrunched up her face. “All I’m saying is that Shane better watch his back. He got lucky with that cheap shot at Rob. He won’t be so lucky next time.”
I was finished with this conversation. Christ, I was fin
ished with this school. Every day people squawked about this drama or that drama, but nobody ever really said anything. When Shane and I talked, we talked. We listened. We didn’t presume or pass judgement just because it helped the time go by. When all was said and done, I wanted my life to mean something, and I couldn’t understand why Sasha and her ilk wouldn’t want the same.
I let the buzz of the cafeteria fill my ears as my friends continued their conversation. I’d already given up on eating the rest of my food and pushed my tray away, staring off into the distance and zoning out instead. I imagined what life would be like a year from now. I’d probably be in some crappy apartment in one of New York’s outer boroughs, working nights at a diner to make ends meet while I beat the pavement looking for audition opportunities during the day. I held no unrealistic fantasies about my life there. I knew it was a long shot that I’d ever get a job on Broadway, even one mopping up vomit. I knew it was going to be a monumental change of pace for my life, and that the comforts I’d gotten used to and the way of life I’d grown accustomed to would change. I was ready. I could deal with a shoebox for a home and a shower that never got hot if it meant that there was even a one in a million chance that I’d get to go for my dream. Staying here would mean more stability and more comfort, but there wasn’t that much of a chance for me here either. I needed to leave.
Shane came into my thoughts of New York unexpectedly. He just walked up to my door one day and knocked. Shane would appreciate and understand the sacrifices I would have to make. He would probably think my rinky-dink apartment was charming. Perfect. And he would support me more than any of my so-called friends ever would. Him going into the military didn’t quite fit into my fantasy, but it was a fantasy for a reason, right? We could live in New York together, and the only time we’d ever talk about Sitka Valley would be to laugh about the crazy place we used to live and how glad we were to get out of there.
“Earth to Dallas,” said Patrice, waving a hand in front of my face.
I snapped back to focus and blinked, smiling at her. “Sorry. Zoned out.”
“I was asking you if you’re going to your locker before science?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool. I’ll come with.”
Our school’s science labs were on the opposite end of the building to our lockers, so when Patrice and I had science right after lunch it was prudent to leave a couple of minutes early to grab our stuff. I was happy for the escape. Sasha barely noticed when we pushed out our chairs, too busy entertaining the rest of the table with the story of the bar she snuck into last weekend. I’d heard the story twice already. Apparently, her next target was Satan’s Perch. Typical.
Patrice and I headed down the hall together silently. I could tell there was something she wanted to ask me, but I couldn’t be bothered to find out what it was.
We reached our lockers, and I started fiddling with my lock. Someone tapped on my shoulder and I spun around in alarm, only to find a familiar pair of green eyes laughing down at me.
“Relax,” Shane murmured. “You’re so jumpy.”
I laughed and ran a hand through my hair. “It’s been a weird day.”
“I’m listening.”
I glanced over at Patrice a few lockers down. She was staring at the exchange with wide eyes but dipped her head back behind her locker door when she saw me looking.
“Not something I want to talk about here,” I said, grimacing. “Tell me something good.”
Shane rested a palm against the side of my locker, leaning in toward me. I thought he might kiss me and my heart somersaulted and did a back flip, my eyes flitting from his to those sensuous pink lips that had brought me so much pleasure the last time they touched mine.
“Is there somewhere we can talk alone?” he asked.
Shane was close enough for me to feel his heat. Sandwiched against my locker, it felt like we were the only two people in the world.
Nonetheless, we were in the middle of the hallway, and the bell was about to ring. There were better places for us to chat.
“Yeah.” I nodded, not taking my eyes off his. “Just let me grab my binder, and we can go outside for a minute. I can’t be late for science though.”
Shane pushed off from my locker and fixed me with a goofy grin. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t want to do anything that might impact your education.”
Why did everything he said have to sound so amazingly dirty? He could read me tax law, and I’d still get that warm ache in my core that told me my body wanted him. No, not wanted—craved.
I turned back to my locker, conscious of his eyes on me and glad I wore the jeans that made my butt look good. A grin spread across my lips, and I locked my locker, only to turn around and have that smile fall away.
Shane wasn’t alone anymore. Wes and Nelson were standing on either side of him now, smiling and talking with him like they were best friends.
The only thing wrong with the picture was Shane, who looked about as comfortable as a stool made of snakes. His handsome features were stony, his fists clenched at his sides. My stomach jumped into my throat, and I couldn’t quite tell why.
Patrice appeared at my elbow. “We should get to class.”
I frowned over at her. “Not yet. Shane and I were just about-—“
“Shane forgot he had a prior engagement,” Wes interjected. “I’m afraid we’ve got a meeting. Football stuff, you understand.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, trying to keep the wobble out of my voice. Why was I so scared all of the sudden? Was it the shine in Wes’s eyes? Was it the feeling of tension in the air? “Shane got kicked off the football team, didn’t he?”
“Dallas, it’s fine,” Shane said.
“Yeah, Dallas,” sneered Nelson. “It’s fine.”
“Come on, Shane.” Wes clapped Shane on the back so hard his shoulder jutted forward, but he showed no signs of pain. “Let’s leave the girls to their class.”
I stepped forward, ready to do whatever I could to intervene. Something about the situation didn’t feel right. But Shane merely shook his head, stopping me in my tracks.
Then the guys turned and headed off down the hall, laughing and joking like they didn’t have a care in the world. I watched them depart and Patrice tugged on my elbow insistently until I relented and walked to class.
Chapter 7
Shane
“She sure is sweet on you, isn’t she?” Wes muttered in my ear as he and Nelson led me out the school’s back door. The football field stretched out before us, freshly cut and ready for the last few games of the season. I missed playing already, not because I loved the game but because I loved the release. Being battered and bruised after a long, intense battle was one of the only times I felt completely at peace. I always drifted off into sleep without a problem when I was that tired. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, though I guess that was my fault.
I wanted to regret punching Rob, especially since I was now about to get it much worse back, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Maybe it was the hothead in me, or maybe it was what my mom called my “hero complex”, but seeing Rob laid out on the grass was one of the best moments of my year. Hard to regret something that felt so fucking good.
I didn’t dignify Wes’s answer with a response. He shoved my shoulder and turned me toward the back bleachers. They dropped the friendly charade the moment Dallas was no longer in sight. I preferred it that way. Better to lay all our cards on the table.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, Kelly?” asked Nelson. “You could never get a girl like Dallas. She’s way out of your league.”
I still didn’t answer. Engaging with these idiots would be pointless.
Nelson continued. “You think you’re better than us, don’t you? You think you’re too cool for school.” He spat on the ground. “You’re nothing but dirt under our shoes.”
We were close enough to the bleachers now for me to make out Rob’s hulking form and the waving beanstalk that was Paul. Great.
Could any of these idiots do anything on their own or did they always have to operate as a team? I’m sure Coach would have been proud, but it was fucking inconvenient from where I was standing.
Wes stepped between the aluminum beams, and Nelson shoved me forward. He was trying to get me to fall to my knees, but I held my balance, staring directly up into Rob’s angry eyes.
“How’s the jaw?” I asked.
My first words of the afternoon delivered. Rob grunted angrily and threw a sloppy punch toward my face. I dodged it, smirking, only to receive a hit to the back of the head courtesy of Wes.
I staggered forward, and Rob delivered a powerful uppercut to my gut. I groaned. Somehow I managed to stay standing.
“He does think he’s better than us,” Nelson continued. “Why’s that? You think you’re smarter? Better looking? Stronger?” He laughed. “You’re certainly not richer. Though I will give it to you that you’re probably smarter than Paul.”
Wes laughed and socked me in the shoulder. “A monkey with a typewriter would be smarter than Paul.”
I keeled forward to my knees but staggered back to my feet. “Is there any particular reason you’re drawing this out? Or are you hoping to bore me into unconsciousness with your half-baked insults?”
I looked over my shoulder at Wes. His smile fell away.
“You should be grateful we’re not going to kill you,” he snapped. “You should be begging for fucking mercy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Do you hear yourself? What are you, some shitty movie villain? Where’s your cape?”
That did it. Wes let out an angry snarl and came at me fists first. We were the same size, so while I had no doubt that I could beat him in a fight, I knew I was going to be useless against all of them. This wasn’t a fight, it was a beating. Better to get it over with quick.
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