What Nettie said made sense. “So should I be weak? Will that make him fall in love with me?”
Nettie shook her head. “Good heavens, no. That’s what he’s worried about. Even though he knows you’re a much stronger person than Martha, he’s still afraid. I think you’ll have to take matters into your own hands.”
“By doing what?” Genny crossed her arms over her chest.
Nettie raised her hands up into the air. “Oh, I don’t know. Start cuddling up to him every night when you go to bed. Make him aware of you. Don’t let him forget. Rub his leg under the table at dinner and supper. Anything you can do to make you foremost in his mind.”
Genny frowned. “I think it’s a lost cause. Short of swearing I won’t die in childbirth, I don’t see a way he’ll give in. And even then, he won’t believe me. I don’t know that I can stay without hope.”
“Genny, don’t make any rash decisions. Think about what you’re doing.”
“I am.”
From upstairs came a cry. Lucy was awake, needed changing and to be fed.
“Right now there’s no time to think of anything. Billy and Lucy keep me pretty busy. After I get Lucy, I have to go to the barn and get a kitten for Billy. I promised him that when I was feeling better, I’d let him have one. I don’t want him down there with me. Just the thought of what happened last time, gives me chills.”
“He’ll like that. Make it a younger kitten that won’t wander too far yet, so the little thing will get used to being in the house, but not too young. Find a runt if you can.”
“I will. Thanks for letting me tell you my problems. You probably don’t want to hear them, so thank you.”
“You can talk to me any time, sweet girl. Any time at all.”
Nettie gave her a hug.
Genny hurried, upstairs to the now-bellowing Lucy, guilty of letting the baby wait while she talked to Nettie.
CHAPTER 9
Lucy was sitting up and crying hard when Genny got to her. She picked up the baby and went to the bureau where she’d made a little place to change her.
The baby quieted until she had just a few sniffles.
“There now. You’re fine, little sweetheart. I’ve made you some new diapers and found Billy’s old clothes. You can crawl all over the place with them and save your poor little knees from hurts. Goodness, you’re eight months old, you might be walking soon.”
Lucy smiled. “Babababa. Ha ha. Ma ma.”
Genny stilled, her heart racing. Lucy had called her mama? Her eyes filled with tears. Why? Why now? Why did this have to happen now when she was thinking about leaving?
Genny took off Lucy’s diaper and it ripped. It was so small, the cloth had left a red line around the baby’s tummy.
“Time for this to go into the trash. It’s not even good enough for the rag pile.”
The baby kicked her legs and grinned.
She’d take the diaper to the burn barrel on her way to the barn. It was a lovely day. A thick layer of snow covered the ground, but the sun was shining, and Genny wanted a bit of fresh air. Maybe the sunshine would help her think.
Genny went to the kitchen first, put Lucy in her highchair and gave her a sugar cookie Genny had cut into little pieces. Half of the treat would end up on the floor but it kept her busy for a little while.
“Billy, I want you to sit here with your baby sister and eat your cookie and drink your milk. I’ll be back in a little bit. Nettie, I’m leaving now.”
“We’ll be right here when you get back.” She winked.
Genny put on her coat and walked down to the barn to get a kitten, dropping the scrap of diaper in the burn barrel as she passed it.
Stuart was in the barn mucking the stalls.
That was one job he hadn’t insisted Genny learn how to do and she was glad.
Genevieve came inside, and he stopped, leaning on the pitchfork, with his hands around the top of the handle.
“Did you need me for something?”
“No. I won’t let Billy come down here anymore so I told him I’d bring him a kitten. I’m looking for a runt, so it’s small enough not to wander too far.”
He put the tool against the stall gate and walked toward the far end of the barn.
“Most of the kittens are in this last stall.” He took off his gloves and put them in his back pocket.
She followed him and was amazed at all the tiny tigers walking around the stall empty of everything except a bed of straw. There were about six mama cats and dozens of kittens of varying ages. Some newborn, some with their eyes just opened, the bigger kittens prancing and playing with each other.
Stuart looked over the piles of kittens, bent and picked up a little calico. “She’s probably the best one for Billy. She’s old enough to be weaned and still small enough to live in a box for a while. I’ll make one and bring it up when I come at noon.”
The calico meowed in earnest for its mother. If any of the mama cats cared that one of their kittens was being stolen, she didn’t make it known.
Genny took the little cat from Stuart and their hands touched. She stopped, a hitch in her breath as she looked up at him.
His gaze was on her for a moment, his eyes darkened and then he shook his head, the spell was broken and he was all business again.
“She’s a girl, by the way.”
“Good to know. I’ll tell Billy.”
Genny petted the baby. “Now, little one, just hush. You’ll have it easy compared to the rest of your brethren here. They’ll have to catch their dinner, you only have to go to the kitchen.”
Petting her calmed the kitten and soon she was purring.
“You have a way with cats,” observed Stuart.
She nodded. “Cats and kids have always liked me. I wish the children’s father was as easy, so that all I had to do was tickle his tummy and he’d be purring, too.”
Stuart laughed. “I’ve never had my tummy tickled, who knows maybe I’d purr.”
“I’ll have to try it sometime.”
He moved closer to her, then gently brought his finger along her jaw.
Almost afraid to move, Genny leaned into his hand. “Stuart,” she breathed.
Stuart lowered his head. “Genny,” he whispered.
His lips slanted over hers. Tasting her, his tongue ran along the seam of her lips and she opened for him. They danced and dueled. He pulled her close, his arms around her waist.
A squeak sounded and then a meow.
Stuart pulled back and looked down at the small chaperone.
“Guess she’s ready to go,” His gazed captured Genny’s. “I’d like to finish that kiss, but I know I shouldn’t. That kitten saved us both.” With brows lowered he stepped back. “Go now. Go.”
Her lower lip trembled. “I’m leaving now because I have to, I made promises and I promise you we will finish this.”
She turned to walk away. Genny looked back over her shoulder. “I always keep my promises.”
*****
Stuart watched her go. What had gotten in to him? Kissing her like that? But that kiss felt so darn right. Genny was his wife, he could make love to her anytime he wanted. She would never refuse him, but lovemaking eventually led to becoming in the family way, regardless of how hard he tried to prevent it and that could lead to death. He couldn’t do that again. No matter how much he was falling in love with his wife, and how could he not fall in love with her? She was kind and funny and beautiful. She loved his children and cared for his family. If he let himself admit it, Genny was perfect for him.
*****
Genny walked back up to the house carrying the kitten.
“Well what do you make of that kiss, little calico? That was something wasn’t it? If you hadn’t let us know you were being squished, then we might have gone farther with that. Maybe finished what I hope will be the outcome. Eventually. If I stay.”
Or would it? She couldn’t keep this up much longer. She loved these kids so much and their father, too, but if he wa
s never to love her, never to give her the chance at having her own children, she would have to go. As much as doing so would kill her to leave them, that would be the best for everyone, because Genny couldn’t be the mother these children needed if she was so miserable herself.
Knowing what she had to do, Genny went into the kitchen.
“Kitty!” squealed Billy when he saw what Genny carried.
He jumped off the chair and ran to Genny.
She knelt as he approached.
“Easy there, Billy. Be gentle with the baby kitty. She’s very small and needs lots of love. Can you do that? Can you love her?”
“Yup. I love kitty.”
She held the kitten up for him to pet. “I want you to just pet her. Gently, that’s right.”
He ran his hand over the kitten’s back.
“What do you want to name her?” Genny saw that he was being very careful not to hurt the baby cat.
“She’s a girl kitty?”
“Yes. She’s a girl.”
“I name her Genny.”
“No,” Genny laughed. “You can’t name her after me, but I do thank you. She needs her own special name. She’s a calico kitty. Do you want to call her Calico?”
Billy scrunched up his nose and then nodded. “Calico’s a good name for kitty.”
“Fine. We’ll call her Calico. Would you like to hold her?”
He nodded vigorously, fast enough to make his hair flop.
Genny handed the kitten to him.
He held the tiny cat around her tummy and kissed her.
Calico was not happy being held that way.
Genny had to show Billy how to hold the kitten.
“Put your arm across your tummy and then lay Calico across your arm. Like this.” She demonstrated.
He did as she showed him and Genny put the cat in his arms. This time Calico relaxed and let Billy pet her.
“There you go. Do you hear her? She’s purring.”
“That means she likes me.” He grinned at Genny.
“That’s right, son,” said Stuart from the doorway. “She likes you.”
He talked to Billy but stared over his son’s head directly at Genny.
She stared back, hoping he would read the desire in her eyes, hoping he would understand and grant her greatest wish…for a loving husband and children of her own.
Genny picked Lucy out of her highchair and put her on the floor. She usually crawled everywhere but just like Genny, she was daddy’s girl. Lucy made a beeline for Stuart.
Genny looked up at Stuart, and saw he still stared at her with the same hunger on his face as she’d seen before. He wanted her. Needed her as much as she needed him. She’d never felt desire before, but assumed this longing deep inside her, was desire. But would he let himself answer her siren call?
Stuart stood transfixed, watching her every move.
She couldn’t look at him afraid he’d see the need for him in her eyes and quickly looked down. She’d given of herself, all she could and not gotten anything back. She couldn’t give any more. She couldn’t take the heartache any longer. A tear rolled down her cheek. The time for her to leave had come.
Christmas was coming in a week. Genny already had her presents ready. She’d see that Nettie had them to hand out on Christmas Day.
Genny went upstairs and packed her carpet bag. She only took what she brought, nothing of Martha’s.
She looked around the bedroom, Stuart’s room. The space had never been theirs always just his. Nothing of her would remain when she was gone. Nothing to remind him of her, except maybe her wedding band which she slid off and put on his pillow. All she needed was for him to accuse her of theft. She certainly hadn’t stolen his heart. After all she’d witnessed she wasn’t sure he really had one.
Nettie was alone in the kitchen when Genny walked in.
“Will you see that everyone gets their Christmas presents?”
“Genny? What are you doing?” Her gaze flicked to the carpet bag and back to Genny’s face. “Don’t let him do this. Stay.”
“I can’t.” Genny shook her head. “I’m too miserable. I need to find someone who will love me back. I want more children and not just children, I need love. I deserve a person who loves me and wants my love in return.”
Tears ran down Nettie’s cheeks. “Oh, honey. You do. You definitely do. If you’re determined to take this course of action then let me get Pete to saddle you a horse and go with you. I don’t you to get lost.”
“Thanks Nettie. He only needs to take me until I can see the town. Then he can head back. I’ll leave the horse at the stable in Elko.”
Ten minutes later, Nettie appeared with Pete and Beauty, the black mare that Genny had ridden, ever since Stuart taught her how.
Muttering under his breath the whole time, Pete tied on her valise.
Nettie asked again. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
Genny shook her head as tears threatened to fall. “Leaving is not at all what I want to do but it is what I must do if I’m ever to find happiness. I can’t live like this any longer.”
She hugged Nettie and Pete.
Pete helped her into the saddle.
Genny looked at them both, nodded, turned the horse toward the road and kicked her in the sides to get her galloping. The sooner she got away from there the better.
Pete looked down at his wife and shook his head before kicking his horse into a gallop after her.
CHAPTER 10
Daylight waned as Genny rode into Elko. She’d thought Stuart would come after her and have caught her by now, but he didn’t. That proved he really didn’t care. If he’d wanted her to stay, he would have followed her.
Without Pete along, it would have been a nerve wracking trip. Even though he hadn’t said anything, she knew he didn’t approve of this. He’d turned to go back home, when they reached the top of the hill and she could see Elko in the distance.
She rode Beauty to the stable and left her there with the instructions that someone from the MacDonnell ranch would be by to pick her up in the next few days. From there she went to get a room at the Hot Springs Hotel. The next train back to Lawrence wouldn’t be through for another week. With the rent for the hotel and purchasing the train ticket she’d be back to what she had when she left Massachusetts.
But what about my hopes and dreams? Do I really want to live anywhere else? I can get work here just as easily as back in Lawrence and then maybe I’ll get to see the children occasionally.
If I don’t pay fifty dollars for the train ticket to Lawrence, I’ll be able to stay in the hotel a lot longer. Long enough to find a job. And a place to live.
Genny made up her mind. She walked to the Hot Springs Hotel, and went straight to the registration desk.
“May I help you?” asked a sallow-skinned young man with brown wavy hair and glasses.
“I’d like a room, please.”
“That’ll be one dollar.” He pointed to the registration book. “Please sign here.”
Genny signed the book, reached into her reticule and pulled out a one dollar bill. “Here you go.” She handed the man the money.
“Would you know where I might find a job?” she asked the desk clerk.
The young man pointed to his right. “You might inquire right here in the hotel. They are looking for a waitress in the restaurant.”
Genny grinned. “Thank you. I will.”
Things were finally going her way.
She went to her room and unpacked her valise. She hung her dresses, skirts and blouses in the wardrobe and put her spare chemise and bloomers in the bureau. Water was in the pitcher on the commode and washcloths and towels in its top drawer.
Genny wet a washcloth and cleaned her face and hands. Checked her reflection in the mirror, patted some stray hairs back into place and left to go get that job.
She walked into the restaurant and was greeted by one of the waitresses.
“Would you like a table?” asked the
pretty redhead. The woman was about Genny’s age, maybe a little older.
“No, thank you. I’d like to see the manager, please.”
“Sure,” said the girl. “I’ll be right back.
Genny stood at the edge of the dining room with her hands clasped in front of her.
The manager, a balding man, probably in his forties, wearing a black three-piece suit, walked through a swinging door at the back of the restaurant, followed by the waitress.
“Becky tells me you want to see me. I’m Mr. Marker. What can I do for you, young woman?”
“I’m here to apply for the waitress position you have open.”
He glanced her up and down. “What’s your name? Do you have any experience?”
“My name is Genny MacDonnell and I’ve been assisting in the preparation of food for twelve people on a ranch for the last two months.”
“And why did you leave that position?”
Genny shrugged. “It just didn’t work out as expected and the circumstances weren’t about to change, so here I am.”
“Sounds like you’ll do. Be back here for the dinner hour at five o’clock.”
“Yes, sir.” Relief coursed through her. Yes indeed. Things were starting to go her way. “Thank you, Mr. Marker.”
“You may not thank me later, so I’ll accept it now.”
Genny thought that was a very odd thing to say but let it go. She grinned and turned back toward the lobby.
When she got to her room she checked her hair and the clock on the bureau. She had about thirty minutes before she was to report to work. Pulling her black skirt and white blouse out of the closet, she quickly changed her clothes. Then she took down her hair, brushed the length until it shone and put the heavy mass up into a bun again so it was neater.
She was ready and according to the clock, it was time to go.
*****
Stuart’s breath came out in a fog. The weather was cold and getting colder. He walked back to the barn. After what could have been a great kiss he’d pulled back and pushed away Genny. Again. Wanting her was nearly killing him, but he was safer this way. The possible pain was too great. Being left with more children to raise without a mother…the idea was repellent, so he held himself back from her. But there was nothing more he wanted to do than to make love to his beautiful wife.
Genevieve: Bride of Nevada (American Mail-Order Bride 36) Page 9
