Seeing Genny, being near her, hearing her laugh, smelling her favorite rose scent. He loved every one of these things. He loved Genny so why was he unwilling to take the chance? She said she would not die birthing his babes. Said she was strong, much stronger than Martha. He remembered her words.
“Stuart, I’m not going to die. Give me…give us a chance to be a real family.”
But he couldn’t. He thought he’d loved Martha and losing her had nearly killed him. But he loved Genny so much more. He and Martha had grown to love each other but their love was a comfortable thing. With Genny the emotion was fire hot and he was afraid they’d both be burned.
An hour later, Stuart heard the supper bell and put the pitch fork against the wall with the other tools, rakes, and shovels. He rolled down his sleeves and put on his coat. The air might be cold outside but working in the barn was always hot work. Pitching hay, mucking stalls and grooming the animals all made him work up a sweat. He needed a bath, but the day wasn’t Saturday yet.
He walked into the kitchen.
Nettie bustled around the room, setting full dishes of food on the table.
Lucy and Billy were in their highchairs on either side of his chair as usual, but Genny’s chair was empty.
“Where’s Genny?”
Nettie didn’t look up. “She’s gone.”
“Gone.” He must not have heard correctly. “What do you mean she’s gone? Upstairs?”
Nettie looked at him, anger filled her voice.
“I mean she left. She said she couldn’t be a part of your farce of a marriage any longer.”
Stuart frowned. “She couldn’t have left. It’s dark now, she could be in trouble.” He stood and walked to the peg board to retrieve his coat.
Pete spoke. “Don’t bother. I put her on Beauty five hours ago and made sure she reached Elko. You’ll have to go after her tomorrow…if you’re going to.”
Stuart looked around the table. Everyone was there except Genny and every face showed disappointment. “This is not my fault.”
“Who’s fault would it be?” asked Joe. “Are you telling me that Genny is the one at fault here? Are you telling me that you told her you loved her and she left you anyway?”
“I never told her anything except that we’d—”
“Have no children,” Nettie finished for him. “Seems to me the only child in your relationship was you. Grow up, Stuart. Women dying in childbirth is a fact of life. There’s often no reason. Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes the mother is simply not strong enough to survive the pain. The reason doesn’t matter. But to do what you did, also ensures there is no joy, no sorrow, no happiness as well as no pain. There is nothing. That life provides a hollow existence and she couldn’t live like that anymore.”
“That’s enough, Nettie.” Stuart’s anger rose and his voice quieted.
Nettie threw her napkin down on her plate. “You’re right. That’s more than enough.” She left the table and stomped off to her and Pete’s bedroom.
Every man at the table stared at Stuart.
“This is not my fault.”
Joe shook his head. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but don’t lie to us. Every man at this table would make a better husband to Genny than you are. The trouble is, she fell in love with you.”
What am I hearing? Stuart stared at his brother. “Fell in love with me?”
“You are an imbecile, big brother. Genny has loved you for weeks, maybe since you first married. She opened her heart to us, all of us, and only got arrows through hers in return.”
Was he really that bad? He thought he’d treated Genny well. He was polite and kind, but he had made sure she didn’t get close.
He wanted to leave the table, but with Nettie gone, he needed to feed his children and put them to bed. No rest to be had for the wicked.
*****
Genny’s first night as a waitress was a success. Feeding all those people at the ranch had been good experience after all. The second night was going just as well when there was a small hiccup. Half way through her shift, Becky told her that the gentleman at one of Becky’s tables asked for Genny by name.
Heart pounding, Genny walked over. The man had his back to her so she couldn’t see who it was but her stomach fell to her toes and she was sure it was Stuart.
Genny’s heart pounded in her chest. “May I help you?”
The man at the table turned to face her.
She let out the breath she’d been holding. “Joe. What are you doing here?” Her heart slowed and she caught her breath.
“I came to ask you to come back home.”
She smoothed her skirt and then pulled out her order pad. “The ranch is not my home, Stuart made sure of that. I just worked there for a while like any other ranch hand. Now I work here. What would you like to eat?”
“Genny. Give him another chance. He misses you.”
She stiffened her spine and jerked her chin upwards. “If that’s true, why isn’t Stuart here? Why isn’t he asking me to come back? I’ll tell you why, because he knows only one thing will get me to come back and he’s not willing. I want a real marriage, with all the pain and joy and trials and laughter.” She squeezed the pad in her hand nearly folding it in half. “I want it all, Joe. Not just the work.”
“Genny, he’s so confused right now. Give him another chance.”
“No. When he’s ready for me to come back home, if he ever is, he’ll come. Until then, I’m staying here. Now are you having dinner or not? I want to keep this job, so please order.”
“Fine. Bring me the steak, rare, with mashed potatoes. We’re not done here, Genny.”
“Yes, we are Joe. Stuart knows what needs to be done.”
She walked back to the kitchen and put in Joe’s order. In a few minutes his food was prepared and Genny carried it to him. He still had his back to her.
“Here you go, Joe.”
She leaned forward to set the plate on the table and saw…Stuart. The plate clattered to the table.
She turned back toward the kitchen. “Enjoy your supper.”
Stuart grabbed her wrist.
“Genny, please come home. The children miss you.”
Pulling free, she gave a short laugh. “The children will get over it.”
“I miss you.”
He said the words so quietly, she almost didn’t hear him.
“You what?” she answered just as quietly.
“I miss you. I want you to come home.”
His voice soft, so other diners couldn’t hear.
“You know I can’t,” Genny whispered. “I won’t go back to that travesty of a marriage. I want a real marriage with all the joys and heartaches that go with it.”
Stuart looked away.
She gave a huff. “There you have it. You’re not willing to give yourself to me, nor are you ready to take me for myself. I want to be more than your friend. I want to be your wife. Goodbye, Stuart.”
Genny walked back to the kitchen before she let the tears fall. She would not cry for that man. He made his decision and she wasn’t a part of his life, so he could damn well live his life alone, just as she would. She had no plans to remarry. Ever.
She wiped her eyes and went back to work. Her next order was ready and she picked up the plates and walked out to the dining room to deliver them. She glanced over at the table where Stuart was but the table was empty.
So be it.
Genny finished her shift that night and she dragged herself back to her room. The thought of her lonely bed wasn’t inviting. She missed Stuart.
Combining her tips and salary she was earning as much as she did at the factory for a fifteen-hour day. But here she only worked nine hours, through the midday dinner and supper hours. Most of the time there was little to do—clean the tables, sort the utensils, sit around until someone came in.
But from the hours of eleven o’clock to one o’clock and again from four o’clock to eight o’clock the restaurant’s ten ta
bles were packed and there were always people in line waiting to be seated. Their clientele included the townsfolk, but most of their customers were miners in just after or just before their shifts.
Her room was lovely. The bed had simple wood head and foot boards. Around the room stood a bureau, commode and night stand, none of which matched but were all made from a light colored wood. There was a chair by the window that she’d spent too much time looking out, hoping to see Stuart coming for her. None of the furniture was fancy, but she didn’t mind.
She pulled out the letter from Katie she’d picked up that day.
December 15, 1890
Dear Genny and Julia,
So much has happened since my last letter. I would tell you about the events, but then you would worry about me, so I’m just going to tell you that our home is now happy and filled with love. Even Mother O’Malley has changed and we are good friends now. Sometimes there are reasons why people are so angry and I learned that she had every reason to be unhappy. But that is all in the past, and Daniel and I are so blessed.
I’m expecting our first child sometime in late August. We’re both so excited and his mother’s busy knitting blankets for the little one. I’m thrilled to be starting our family and can’t wait to see our child. Of course, I worry with the death of my family that my child could become an orphan, but I try not to let those thoughts intrude. And even if it happens, I know my mother and father’s presence is what guided me. If the worst happens, I will guide this child as well.
I thank the good Lord everyday for sending me to Daniel. He’s become an excellent husband that I love so very much. Though the first month was extremely rocky, we have now settled the issues and are partners building our wine business, preparing for the future.
May this letter find both of you, happy and celebrating the holidays. As always, I miss you and hope that if ever you are near you will spend some time at our home. I know with the baby coming, I won’t be able to visit you, but someday, my friends we will be reunited.
As always, I keep you in my prayers and know that the factory fire we all hated, was actually a blessing in disguise. Happy holidays to you and yours.
Much love,
Katie
Genny set the letter down and put her money on the bureau then washed her face before lying down to rest. She’d like to sleep, but that luxury had been hard to come by. Between crying and tossing and turning, she wasn’t getting much rest. The two nights she’d been here she often stayed up reading a book she’d bought at the mercantile. At this rate she’d be buying a new book every week. She couldn’t afford that.
Finally morning would come and the day would start over. She took a walk to the general store, stopped at the bakery for a sweet roll if they had any, and returned to her room to wait for the time to report to work.
She missed seeing the children, waking them for the day; getting their sweet kisses and hearing Lucy call her mama.
Every morning, Genny cried. She’d been at the hotel for almost a week and Stuart hadn’t returned. Nor had anyone else from the ranch. She guessed she wasn’t missed. They got along before she came and they were getting along in her absence. The thought that she could miss them so much and they didn’t miss her, hurt, and she cried more. She had to lie down with a wet washcloth over her eyes in order to go to work without red puffy eyes. But it was working and she kept her job.
Becky approached her as she reported for work. “What do you cry about every morning before you come to work?”
Genny blinked. “How do you know I’ve been crying?”
“Your eyes are red and swollen,” she said matter-of-factly. “Everyone knows but none of us know how to help.”
“You would like to help me?”
“Of course. We’re friends,” Becky said easily.
Genny felt her lower lip tremble and she nodded. “Yes. We are friends. Well, I’m married to Stuart MacDonnell, but our marriage isn’t working out.” She didn’t want to go into details that should remain private. “I wanted it to, and I worked as hard as I could, but a good marriage takes both people working at it. One can’t do it by herself.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I’ve known Stuart MacDonnell for years. We went to school together.” Becky leaned closer and whispered. “He’s a mite stubborn, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh, I definitely know what you mean.”
“He’s a good man though. I think losing Martha was hard for him.”
“Yes, and he’s never grieved. I know all that. Martha’s mother explained that. But, regardless of the reason, he needs to…make changes before I’ll go back and he’s not willing to do that. I’d hoped that I might get to see the children once in a while but I haven’t yet.”
“Looks like you may get your wish. I just saw the entire MacDonnell clan sit down in your section.”
Genny’s hands began to shake and sweat.
“Switch sections with me. Please.”
“Sorry, sweetheart. You need to work this out.”
Genny took a deep breath and went out to wait on her former family. The situation was a heck of a way to spend Christmas Eve.
CHAPTER 11
The babies were here. Lucy sat on Stuart’s lap and Joe held Billy.
Genny swallowed hard and took a deep breath before walking over to the table.
Lucy caught sight of her and started bouncing in Stuart’s arms.
“Mama. Mama. Mama.” She smiled and yelled at the top of her baby lungs.
Billy turned and grinned. “Genny!” Then his face turned serious, his little brows furrowed and he asked. “When you comin’ home?”
Stuart looked at her, his eyes held the hunger she’d become familiar with. “Yes, when are you coming home?”
“It’s not fair. You shouldn’t have brought the children. As much as I want to see them, that’s not fair.” Genny turned and ran from the restaurant back to her room, where it was safe. Seeing them all together made her realize what she’d missed.
Stuart closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You all eat dinner and then go back home. Joe, leave your horse at the stable, please.”
“When will you be home?”
“Not until I can convince Genny to come home with me. Tell Henry the horse might be there for a few days.” He smiled. “She can be stubborn.”
“How you planning to do that?” He frowned. “You know what she wants and I don’t blame her. She deserves to be loved.”
“Yes, she does. Nettie, would you set up the line shack for me.”
Nettie nodded. “Sure thing. I know just what to do.”
Stuart stood and walked out to the registration desk.
“Hello, Walter,” he said to the young man at the counter. “What room is my wife in?”
“You know I’m not supposed to tell you the room numbers of the guests, Mr. MacDonnell.”
“She’s my wife. I’m responsible for her bills. It’s my room, too. Now give me the key.”
Walter thought about it for a moment before he nodded
“I’ll let you in with the master key.”
They both walked down to number four.
The room was on the first floor at the end of the hall to the right of the desk. Stuart went over all the things he would say to Genny before they reached the room and knocked. “Genny. It’s Stuart.”
“Go away.”
He shook his head and nodded for Walter to use the master key and walk away. He opened the door. A book flew by his head.
“Now Genny, calm down.”
He entered and closed the door behind him. Whoosh! Another book hit the door.
“I’m not leaving, no matter how many books you throw at me.”
She stood by the bed. Next to her was the nightstand with just one book left. “Why not? What are you doing here?” she shouted at him.
She was magnificent in her anger. Her bosom heaved and color rose to her cheeks, flushing them a lovely pink.
“I came to t
alk. To try to get you to come home.”
“Oh! Only you would think you could talk your way out of this. You’ll have to prove to me that you want me to come home.”
She picked up the final book to chuck at him.
“Genny, please. The children miss you, Nettie misses you, everyone misses you.” Then he added softly, “I miss you.”
She shook her head. “I miss you all, too, but I can’t go back to what we had. I’ll be miserable, and that’s not good for the kids. It’s best if I stay away. I thought I could live here in Elko and get to see them once in a while, but I can’t. It’s just too hard.”
He looked at the floor for several seconds before lifting his head. “I love you.”
“Staying here would only…what did you say?”
“I said, I love you.”
“How can you taunt me with those words, only to get back your children’s care giver?” She slumped down onto the bed. “How can you be so cruel?”
“I’m not taunting you or meaning to be cruel. I love you, Genny. I want us to be husband and wife.”
“I can’t go back to what you think is a marriage. I want more children and you know what that means.”
He chuckled. “Yes, I know what it means.”
She cocked her head to one side. “Are you prepared to perhaps get me pregnant?”
Stuart closed the distance between them. “I want to love you, regardless of the repercussions.”
He pulled her up into his arms and slanted his mouth over hers. She didn’t fight him, but joined him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him.
Genny kissed him hard. Her tongue sought entry and dueled with him when he granted passage.
Genevieve: Bride of Nevada (American Mail-Order Bride 36) Page 10
