The Truth About Fairy Tales

by Annie Walker

Even though I was blissfully happy, and maybe because of it, the dreams of my childhood came back to torment me. I’d wake up frightened and scared in a panic that I was back on those streets again and each time Jackson would hold me close and sooth away my fears. For me, it was as if I were still waiting for disaster.

  “Maggie, maybe it’s time you confronted these fears of yours?” Jackson told me a few nights before we planned to leave for his beach house in Miami. I knew what he meant by that. It was time for me to talk to my mother.

  I tried to brush it off each time he’d brought her into our conversation, but he knew how much I resented my mother and how much I blamed her for those terrible times in my life. He understood all of this, so why was it so hard for me to talk to him about it?

  “I can’t. I can’t even think about that time.”

  “Baby, you need to. You’re still caught up in that little girl nightmare. The only way you will ever be free of it is if you force yourself to talk to your mother—tell her how you feel. Have you even talked to her since your grandmother became your legal guardian?”

  Jackson knew the answer already. I was certain he would have talked to Lee and my grandmother about this already and I resented that. I didn’t want to talk to Jackson about that terrible time of my life any more than I had. I guess part of me was still afraid that once he learned the whole truth he wouldn’t stick around.

  “Just think about it, Maggie. You don’t have to make any decisions right away. I really believe it will help you put an end once and for all to those nightmares.”

  I nodded to give him the hope I didn’t mean. There was no way I could ever bring myself to talk to my mother.

  After Jackson fell asleep that night, I went up to the secret hiding place that I’d found for myself just after I’d moved in with him. It was as high as I could get because there was no way I could get out to the roof. In the dusty attic of Jackson’s very expensive home in a corner tucked away from view, I’d found my little safe spot. My hiding place.

  There, in the early morning hours just before dawn, I sat and cried the tears I couldn’t allow myself to show in front of him.

  I couldn’t tell him that it wasn’t because my mother wasn’t trying to reach out to me. Nothing had been further from the truth. In fact, even over the holidays my grandmother had told me that Rachel and her husband had called hoping I’d agree to see them. It was always the same on every special occasion. I knew that she lived just outside of Santa Anna in the slightly larger town of Coleman. I knew exactly where her house was because I can’t tell you how many times I’d gone by after I’d found out she was there.

  Oh, I’d never seen her, not once. I’d driven by her house I bet a dozen times. Always alone. Not even my friends knew about Rachel and they never asked. In all of those times, I hadn't once caught a glimpse of her, but I knew she lived there with her husband of almost fifteen years now who Gran told me was a minister. She’d also told me that my mother worked at a local nursing home. Gran was always letting little pieces of information about my mother slip into our conversations ever so casually. Sometimes it took me a few minutes to realize whom she was actually talking about. Then she’d spot that stubborn expression of mine and she’d change the subject.

  Gran had long ago forgiven my mother every last one of her transgressions, even the fact that she’d broken her heart and almost bankrupted her. My grandmother loved her only daughter unconditionally and even though it had been the hardest thing in the world for her to do to fight my mother for custody of me, she knew in her heart that it had been right.

  Gran had a closet full of presents for me from my mother, starting with that thirteenth birthday and right up to the present Christmas. Each time she tried to get me to open them, I’d close the door on them and her daughter. I was hurt, deeply hurt by my mother and more than a little upset with Gran for simply forgetting all the heartache that we’d both been through because of Rachel.

  So, although I might have kept silent for Jackson’s benefit tonight, I would never agree to see my mother. I couldn’t. For me, she’d stopped being anything beyond a stranger after that first trip I’d made to my secret hiding place.

  ****

  Jackson’s beach house turned out to be only just a little smaller than his house in Austin. In all of the times he’d described the place to me, he’d told me it was small and cozy—nothing fancy.

  So when he pointed out the pink stucco mansion set away from the green landscaped lawn, I looked at him as if he’d lost his mind.

  “This is what you call small?” I asked, only to be rewarded with a kiss on my nose.

  “Yep. Come inside. I can’t wait to show you the view from the master bedroom.” The look in his eyes told me I wouldn’t be seeing the ocean anytime soon.

  Later, we wandered along the beach and me being the excited little girl of ten that I felt like at that moment was busily picking up shells when Jackson asked me what I thought about the ocean.

  “Are you kidding? It’s beautiful. I don’t think I’m going home with you. I’m going to stay right here and sell these shells.

  He smiled back at me, looking every bit like a little boy himself. I think he was just so pleased with himself for making me happy. I couldn’t tell him I had never imagined being this happy before in my life.

  “You know they sell those things at any of the gift shops along the beach. They clean them too. You don’t have to get your own.”

  “You are such a snob, Mr. Riley. Don’t you know that’s part of the fun?”

  We ate at a small seafood restaurant along the beach just as night fell on the ocean. The sky was full of stars that night. It was simply magical to me.

  Jackson told me when he gave me the grand tour of the place that the strip of beach in front of his house was private. I suspected he had things in mind from that wicked little grin on his face.

  That night he took me up on the roof, which was flat and had a couple of lounge chairs and a table set up for watching the stars.

  “You know, there’s a perfect little spot for your hiding place over there.” He pointed to a little nook that was barely visible, but looked out on the ocean and I kissed him. How many men would put up with their girlfriends’ idiosyncrasies like Jackson? He was a prince.

  Those were the best two weeks that I can ever remember spending and I never once needed to go to that hiding place. I was so happy that I didn’t want to leave. For me, the beach and Miami was like paradise. Nothing could ever replace this in my mind. I’d come back here in my mind again and again and remember all those wonderful moments we’d spent here.

  Back home in Texas, the weather had turned cold. Winter in Austin consists of cold days and every so often the occasional snow or ice storm, which no one knows how to drive in. This year was one of those years.

  When we got back to the house, I had a couple of nice surprises waiting for me. Several of the firms I’d sent my resume to had left messages for me to come in and talk. Jackson shook his head as we played back the messages together.

  “You are so stubborn, Mary Margaret.” But he was smiling. He understood.

  We got home just in time to pick up dear old Sidney before the predicted ice storm hit. For a time, it took the power out with the weight of all that ice on the power lines.

  Jackson and I made a fire in his seldom-used fireplace and we sat in front of it throughout most of the night with Sidney sleeping close by. It was almost magical, almost perfect and I was starting to get worried that maybe was becoming too perfect.

  The following week I scheduled interviews with two of the family law firms that I’d been interested in. I knew right from the start that Smith and Beecham was the one for me.

  They were a tiny little firm in a not so nice section of town with a clientele that ranged from lower middle class to poverty. It was love at first sight as far as I was concerned. This was what I’d gone through law school for. To make a difference at a firm that cared about the people no one el
se cared about.

  The older partner, Richard Beecham, was a little overwhelmed by my enthusiasm. I’m not sure if he really knew what to think about me. But his partner, who I later found out was his wife of almost ten years, Jessica Smith, was thrilled. We shared so much of the same goals in life that I believed I’d found my soul sister.

  I spent most of the afternoon with her after my short and somewhat confusing interview with her husband.

  “Don’t worry about Rich, he’ll do what I tell him to do. He always does. Okay, I know a little about you, so let me tell you about our firm. First of all, there’s just us, Rich and I. It’s been that way since we moved to Austin from Los Angeles five years ago. Rich was from Austin originally. His kids, all grown, still live here. Our little business has been growing like crazy for a while now and that’s why we decided we’re going to hire someone to help with the client load.

  “Of course, you’re going to have to pass the bar and soon because, frankly, we desperately need the help. This is what I propose. We’ll start you out with a salary that you’re going to hate, but once you’ve passed the bar exam we’ll bump it up to what you’re really worth. How does that sound? In the meantime, we’ll get you to help with research on cases. I think I’ve covered everything. Do you have any questions?” I shook my head. My only question was when I could start. “Well, what do you think? Is this the right fit for you?”

  Was it! I was so excited I probably would have worked there for free just to have the opportunity to learn from these people. I would have, too, if I hadn’t remembered my promise to myself to contribute to the household budget, even though I knew I’d have to fight Jackson on that one. He might have agreed willingly enough, but he wasn’t going to take my money without a fight.

  As I was quickly discovering, Jackson didn’t like to talk about money. He’d flat out refused to accept any of my savings to help because, as he so pointedly told me, he didn’t need my money. I couldn’t stand the thought of living with him without contributing something. I would take my little salary here and study my heart out so that I could earn a bigger one. Money just didn’t matter to me. I was happy with whatever. I was also determined to pull my weight.

  “It sounds perfect. When can I start?” Jessie, as she insisted that I call her, laughed at my enthusiasm. She told me, as she showed me to my tiny little office, that I reminded her of herself when she was my age. Which was more years ago than she cared to remember.

  We sat in my brand new little office, which consisted of a desk, a couple of chairs and a file cabinet, but I was already picturing how to decorate.

  “I don’t see a ring on your finger? Are you seeing anyone special, Maggie?”

  I was later to learn Jessie loved to gossip. But right now, with her looking at me the way she was looking at me, I was finding it hard not to blush. How to answer that without giving away all of my uncertainties? How was this woman crusader going to take the news that I was seeing one of Austin’s wealthiest bachelors? I hate to say it, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell her that little fact. Not that I was ashamed of Jackson. Just the opposite, I was crazy about him. It’s just that, well, Jessie was quickly becoming an icon to me.

  “Yes, I am. We’ve been involved for a little while now. I think it’s serious…” I stopped and realized I was being ridiculous.

  “You don’t want to tell me who he is? Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad.”

  “Jackson Riley. It’s Jackson Riley, okay.” I closed one eye, anticipating the dozens of questions I knew would follow.

  The look on her face would have been priceless if I weren’t worried that this connection might cost me my new job of less than ten minutes.

  “Jackson Riley? The Jackson Riley? Oh girl, you gotta tell me your secret, because that guy is gorgeous.”

  And, just like that, Jessie and I became instant friends.

  “I couldn’t even begin to tell you because I don’t know. I certainly have no secrets or tricks. I think maybe I’m just weird enough to keep his interest.”

  “Maggie, there’s nothing weird about you. Maybe he finds all of your little quirks refreshing. So what does Jackson Riley think about you working in the field?”

  That had me wondering just what type of woman Jessie thought I was. “I don’t care what he thinks. It’s my choice not his. He can either live with or not.” Boy, I sounded tough. Almost like the old Maggie, I barely remembered anymore.

  “Spoken like a true attorney. You’re going to make a nice addition to our little firm. So, tell me how you got interested in the law in the first place. I always love hearing those stories.”

  This woman was so easy to talk to that before I knew it I’d told her just about everything, from the fact that I’d given up a sure-fire partnership to be with Jackson, to how I’d met Lee in the first place.

  “That's the most remarkable story I’ve heard in a long time. I have to tell you I’m thrilled that you’re staying in Austin. That’s some love story you got going on there. I just love a good romance.”

  I couldn’t tell her that it wasn’t exactly like the fairy tales. Oh, I was crazy in love with Jackson and I believe he cared deeply about me, too, but well, we had other things in our lives than each other. It wasn’t just about romance.

  After I left Jessie, thrilled by my newfound fortune, the first person I thought of sharing it with was Jackson.

  I think he’d told his assistant to find him whenever I called, because Amy didn’t even hesitate before putting me through to him.

  “Hey, what are you up to today?” That slight tremor in his voice always made me smile.

  “Guess what?” I didn’t really give him time to guess. “I have a job!” He sat patiently listening to me explain my new job to him, happy to see me happy. There were noises in the background that reminded me I was probably keeping him from something important.

  “You’re busy. Jackson I’m sorry. What am I interrupting?”

  “Only a staff meeting. But I think these guys would rather hear about your new job than our upcoming budget plans.”

  “You have me on speaker phone?” I squawked.

  I couldn’t believe it. I’d been so excited that I was rambling on and the whole office was listening.

  When the room erupted in laughter, he picked up the receiver. “Sorry, Maggie, I didn’t have time to get you off the speaker before you started talking. Anyways these guys love hearing stories about you. They’re just about as crazy about you as I am.”

  “Jackson.” I tried to sound angry but I couldn’t stay mad at him. After all, he’d introduced me to just about every single one of his senior staff members and they were all great. He told me that he was always telling them about the things I did. If I didn’t know better I’d think this guy who had accomplished so much in his own life was actually proud of me. Secretly I felt sorry for his staff members if I were their entertainment.

  On his desk where he’d told me there had never been one single picture before was the one of our trip to Paris. Ben had taken it of the two of us smiling. There was also a snapshot of Sidney.

  “Sorry, baby. This calls for a celebration.” I listened while he stopped for a second and laughed. “Sorry, but you guys aren’t invited to this one.”

  I was laughing just about as hard as the staff when he finally came back to me. “Tonight. We’ll go someplace really nice tonight.”

  As much as I loved dining out with Jackson, tonight I wanted it to be just the two of us…well, okay, the three of us. I couldn’t forget Sid.

  My plan was to entice him into the kitchen by meeting him at the door in my very best seduction attempt. He could do the cooking from there.

  I had all the candles lit, lights out, and fire in fireplace burning beautifully. I’d already found out from Amy what time he would be home. Sid was fed and locked away in his little room. Everything was ready.

  The poor man never knew what hit him. The second he opened the door, I grabbed him and showed him jus
t how much I loved him and we never made it out of the living room. And dinner? Well dinner ended up being greasy pizza ordered in. Not that I minded much. I loved the stuff almost as much as I loved this guy.

  Jackson, well, he had romance in mind. “You know, you spoiled the most romantic night ever, don’t you?”

  “This wasn’t it? And I didn’t hear you complaining.” I picked up a second slice of pizza.

  He gave me a look that told me just how foolish that statement really was. “What do you think?”

  “I think you’d better stop looking at me like that if you want to finish the pizza.”

  That made him laugh, at least before he reached for me again. “You know you’re going to be the death of me, don’t you?” I don’t think he really minded all that much. He took the pizza from me and threw me up over his shoulder, heading for the bedroom where he showed me, in all the special ways that only he could, just how little he minded.

  As I lay next to him so happy, Jackson got out of bed, went to our dresser where that little brightly decorated box he’d tried to give me on Christmas day still lay. Jackson had left it there in plain sight, deliberately, as a constant reminder to me. He wanted me to know that both he and the box weren’t going anywhere.

  “I think it’s time, don’t you?” He held it out to me and I could only stare at it. Oh, I wanted to accept what I believed was in that little box—most definitely. I just didn’t know if I could trust all the comfortable happiness that went along with it. For me, such things were just shadow figures. Here today then gone in the blink of an eye.

  When I looked into those blue eyes of Jackson’s I knew that if my happiness went away it wouldn’t be because of him. He would never let me down.

  And so, in his bed, wearing nothing but a smile, I took the box from him and he came back to join me there.

  I can’t recall any other time when I was this scared before this moment. Right now, facing my future, I was terrified. I ripped the paper away and looked at the small jeweler’s box that held the logo of one of the most prestigious stores around.