by Annie Walker
Now most of Genna’s friends, well, other than Serena and me, are the wealthy, snobby type. You know the kind. Too much money, whether it be their daddy’s or their husband’s, and too much time on their hands to spend said money.
After we served the cake, the conversation, as I had feared, came back to Jackson. I don’t know what it was about him that every single one of those ladies was so fascinated with except that maybe the single ones were hoping for the inside scoop on how to land a millionaire. More likely, they were just fishing for tips for when he left me high and dry, like just about everyone at this party wasn’t saying but was certainly thinking.
“I want to know how you two met and what you did to get him to propose to you.” This was one of the single friends. She had been eyeing my two-carat ring with envy, her eyes all alight with speculation. I could almost read her thoughts, what’d you do? Drug him.
Me, being the nice social-butterfly that I am, I made up one whopper of a story.
“I met him on the east side. Where I was working…you know.” With an ever so coy lift of one eyebrow, I meant to imply the obvious. I could almost hear the silence and Genna’s jaw drop.
“Well, you know, a girl has to make a living.” I managed to say with a straight face, shocking them all. As it turned out, that couldn’t have been a better way to get rid of those ladies. Shortly afterward, every one of them made excuses to leave.
Serena was laughing so hard at Genna’s expression that I think she was just about ready to pass out.
“I can’t believe you said that,” Genna, still in her euphoric baby shower with tons of gifts fever, told me angrily and only half meant it.
“Sorry, I just couldn’t help it. Gees, what a bunch of snobs you hang out with, Gen. I mean, where do you met those gals?”
“They're actually nice if you’d give them half a chance…”
“Uh-uh…they’re rich snobs,” I said and felt guilty for the first time since I’d been so free with my mouth.
“Do I need to remind you that most of those women hang out in the same circles you and Jackson do? You ever think about that. He’s rich as well. Maybe not a snob, but neither are they.”
That shut me up. She was right and I hated to admit it. Half the ladies there were at most of those boring parties, charity events and functions we attended out of obligation, as he called it. Genna was right. I hung out with more of them than the kind that I believed was mine.
“I’m sorry, Gen. I didn’t mean to ruin your party.”
“You didn’t ruin the party. I think it was the best part of it.” This was Serena who was still busy laughing.
“Serena, don’t encourage her.” Genna turned to me and slowly smiled. “It’s okay. I know it’s hard for you to adjust to this new lifestyle so I forgive you.”
This had my eyebrow raised and I looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. Boy, she was just lucky she was pregnant.
I called Jackson to let him know he could come home again. “Are you sure? No hidden ladies lurking to attack?”
“Nope just Serena and Genna. Come home so that you can see all the gifts.” This was so unlike me that he couldn’t think of one single thing to say in answer.
“We’re on our way now.”
When I hung up, I saw my two friends staring at me as if I were a rare find. “What?”
“Man, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. I swear you say jump and he says how high. He’s got it bad for you, that’s for sure.” Serena who had started laughing all over again at my expression ignored the warning signals of my return grumpiness.
“That’s not true. He does whatever he wants.”
I prayed Serena didn’t know what she was talking about. Was I bullying Jackson the way I’d bullied these two all those years? If so, would he keep letting me? I doubted that. Jackson was not the bullying kind.
Jackson found us sitting around still talking when he and Sidney walked in the door. My poor little old man dog whose arthritis was acting up more than usual lately made his way slowly over to my side and I picked him up and put him in my lap. I didn’t miss Serena and Genna exchange that look that they always gave each other every single time they saw Sidney and me. They knew how hard it was going to be for me when Sid passed.
Jackson came and kissed me first before looking through the assortment of baby things, pretending interest.
“Looks like you cleaned house, Genna. That’s going be one spoiled little girl.” That was just like him, always teasing my friends. He fit right into their worlds just as if he belonged there. Another warning sign of disaster ahead.
“I can’t wait.” Gen had that wistful look in her eyes that made me jealous. Here, lately, I was considering babies without any of my previous revulsion.
“Oh, Jackson, you should have heard what this one said to all those nice society ladies. You’d be so proud of her.” I threw Serena a look that told her if she valued her life she’d shut up right there. She obviously didn’t consider me much of a threat anymore.
Jackson, well he’d caught all of it and smiled. “You’d better tell me, Serena, because I have a feeling she isn’t going to.”
I was so embarrassed to hear my hasty words out there in front of me again, especially with Jackson laughing throughout all of them, that I wanted to disappear.
He knew all of this and took my hand. God, this man was good. “That sounds just like something she would say.” His gaze met mine reminding me that he knew the truth.
“I should go,” Genna interrupted. “I’ve left Layne on his own for way too long. He’ll have the baby’s room completely remodeled by now.
Jackson, Serena, and I carried out all of Gen’s goodies while forcing her to sit quietly on the sofa next to Sidney, who wasn’t sure who she was. The poor thing only had one good eye, after all.
“One more month.” I hugged Gen and patted her stomach. “I bet you can’t wait.”
“You’re right. I’m so ready to meet my daughter and so tired of being fat. And so jealous of all my skinny friends. I remember when we used to wear the same size. Now, I’m so fat.”
“Oh, you are not. You’re pregnant and you look beautiful.” I think she picked up on my wistful expression because she smiled and hugged me again.
“Someday it will happen for you, too, you know? You’re going to make a wonderful mother, Mags.”
I glanced at Jackson, who had heard the whole thing, but I could only pray he’d write it off as just Genna’s hormones talking. We’d never talked about anything so permanent as kids. He couldn’t even get me to commit to a marriage date and I certainly didn’t have the nerve to ask him if he wanted kids.
Jackson never mentioned Gen’s comments. I think he’d picked up on my embarrassment and decided to let it lie for now. The poor guy was gold. But some day, we’d have to talk about all those little things that I was finding so hard to bring up.
Chapter Fourteen
The following Monday, the verdict was in. I’d been sweating it and worrying over it even though I knew the truth. The results were in and it was official. I was now an attorney.
I’d been going home every single day for lunch to check the mail. But today, with the envelope ripped open and the results in my hands, I couldn’t stop myself from standing out in front of Jackson’s most expensive home crying and shouting with happiness. As always, when I wanted to share my good news, he was the first that I thought of. He was almost as excited as I was.
“That’s wonderful. I knew you’d pass. Stay there, I’ll be right over.”
Now, I knew if he got home before I left neither one of us would be going back to work.
“Jackson, I have tons of work on my desk.”
“Me, too,” he told me in that soft seductive voice of his that told me he didn’t care.
“Jessie and Rich are expecting me back.”
“They’ll forgive you when you tell them the good news.” I’d already dropped my purse and keys and kicked my shoes off
. I wasn’t going anywhere.
That afternoon, we took the phone off the hook and celebrated my success in the best possible way. I forced myself to call my employers and share the good news with them while Jackson went to the kitchen to make lunch.
“Jessie, I’m sorry I didn’t come back, but I was just so excited. I got the news today, I passed the bar!”
I heard her let out a yelp, drop the phone, and yell to Rich, who was on the extension along with this wife congratulating me.
“We knew you could do it. We’re so proud of you.”
Jackson asked me something from the kitchen and I heard Jessie say, “Is that Jackson? Now I understand why you didn’t come back. Oh, don’t sound so shocked. You should have seen me when I passed, right, Rich? I don’t think we got out of bed for days. Enjoy it. But we want to take you both out to celebrate you becoming official, so let us know when is good for you.”
“Well, they figured it out.” I joined him in the kitchen. Jackson only smiled. He didn’t care who knew what we’d been up to.
“Did you really think they wouldn’t? I’m sure they were so happy for you that they didn’t care.”
I nodded. They had been great to me. I loved the both of them. “They want to take us both out to dinner soon. What do you think?”
He glanced up from doing whatever it was he was doing to that poor chicken at the sound of my little girl voice.
“I think that sounds like fun. You pick the day because you know it doesn’t matter to me. This is your celebration, baby.” He kissed my nose and smiled down at me and I’d never been happier or more scared.
****
Becoming legal allowed me to actually go in to court. My first case was a custody battle between two divorced parents that were using their little child to get back at each other. It was heartbreaking to watch. The poor little girl, barely five, was caught in the middle between my client, the mother, and a verbally abusive father. I ended up winning the case, but it didn’t feel much like a victory and I ended up crying for hours in the ladies room of the courthouse.
Jessie came into my office later to congratulate me and spotted my puffy eyes. She knew the reason behind it.
“It's hard sometimes to separate your heart from a case you’re working on, but you have to. You can’t save them all. Sometimes all you can do is win your case.”
“When I first started out, I had this one case that will haunt me for the rest of my life. It was a custody battle, but it was a wealthy guy that had married this sweet young thing and decided she wasn’t quite up to his social standards. He wanted a divorce and he wanted custody of their son. I took the girl’s case. She told me terrible things about what it was like being married to that guy. He was abusive physically as well as emotionally. I had no doubt if the boy were given over to his father he’d hurt him, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t win out over all that man’s money and influence. The guy won full custody, took the boy and left the state. Two years later, I got a letter from the mother letting me know her son was dead. The father snapped one day, went off on him…killed his own son.
“I cried for weeks after that and almost gave up on the law altogether. Rich wouldn’t let me. He forced me to take on another case, which I lost. He wouldn’t let me quit. He forced me to keep going, take another, and another. Eventually I won, and by doing so I’d made just a small amount of difference in someone’s life. It helped—knowing that. I learned the hard way, that sometimes you can’t fight with your heart and be effective. You have to get them with your knowledge of the law. Sometimes you do. Keep that in mind when you lose the next one and you will. The odds are stacked against us from the start. But sometimes we win one that matters and that’s what keeps us coming back.”
That was hard advice to take. In all the times that I worked with Lee, I’d only been on the outside looking in. I never really saw all the heartache attached to losing a case that really got under your skin. One where someone’s life hung in the balance. Especially, when it was a child’s.
Now I understood what he must have gone through every single day. I wondered, had he felt this lost when he’d won a case? Had he felt this way over me?
I called Lee then and there to thank him for all of those things, but mostly for caring about me. I think he was a little taken aback and more than a little moved. This tough guy had been my first knight in shining armor before I realized I needed one. It was all there in his voice.
“I just tried my first case. My first win, but it didn’t really feel like one. Now I finally understand why you do what you do. I just wanted you to know just how much I’ve looked up to you through the years and I’m sorry I didn’t take the job working with you. I hope that I didn’t hurt you. I owe you so much. Thank you for helping me chose this career. It may be tough and it’s certainly kicked my butt enough times already, but I think I love it.”
Lee understood all of this. There was no need for either of us to say anything more. He knew.
“The wedding is in two weeks. I’m as nervous as a cat.” I smiled, picturing him pacing the office. I loved him so much.
This was Lee’s first marriage, well at least to a woman. He’d been married to the law for more years than I’d been alive.
Years ago, Lee had confessed the truth to me. Family law had not been his first choice. Lee had been a hotshot divorce attorney in Dallas raking in the big bucks and catching all the big glamorous high profile cases. He’d earned more money than anyone had and he had women hanging all over him. But Lee had a dark secret. One that could ruin a life and a career and had come close to doing both to him. Lee was an alcoholic. He’d started drinking before he was a teenager. The wealth and prestige that had come his way had only made it more acceptable and more available and certainly more destructive. Working long hours, living a lifestyle that was almost as dangerous as the booze he was consuming, just about destroyed him. It was after one too many high profile divorce cases and one too many drinking binges that he’d woke up in an alley bleeding. Not even sure where he was, Lee had come as close to death as anyone possibly could and lived to tell about it.
It had been enough for him to turn his life around completely and ask for help. There in that alley, alone and bleeding, he’d asked God to let him live. He’d promised that he would dedicate his life and his career to helping others.
God had kept up His end of the bargain. A stranger had wandered out into the alley, after hearing Lee’s prayers and called for help. So far, Lee had kept his promise, too. He’d never once touched another drink, but he’d told me how hard that had been for him.
He’d found God in that alley, left the city and moved to the small town of Santa Anna to open a family practice and join a church. Many years later, my grandmother, his future wife, had walked into that practice and asked for his help.
“You love her, don’t you? I can see that in everything you do. My grandmother doesn’t know how lucky she is to have a guy like you.”
He’d laughed a little, embarrassed by my words. Lee believed he was the lucky one.
“So, everything’s set then? Jackson and I will be down at the beginning of the week. I made it a point to tell Jessie and Rich I’d be gone that whole week before I took the job, so they’re okay with it. You should see Jackson. He’s so excited. You know I don’t think he’s ever been part of a wedding before. Thank you for asking him to be your best man.”
My thirty-eight year old boyfriend confessed that little secret to me after Lee had called him one night to ask him to be his best man. This was quite a shock to me since most of Jackson’s friends, with the exception of Sam, were married.
“I think they always just assumed I was too busy running the business to do it. I’m actually looking forward to being a best man—that is, until I can be a groom.”
He was like a little kid that night. So happy and making plans to be the best, best man. Gran had asked me before we came home from Christmas to be her maid of honor. It was only going
to be a small affair. Just a few friends and the two of us, her only family at the church.
“I want to get them something special. After all, how often do your grandmother and your mentor get married?”
He’d laughed, but agreed with me. “I was thinking since you and Sarah never got to take that trip of yours that maybe we could give them a trip to Europe for their honeymoon?”
I loved the idea the second I heard it. Gran had wanted to go to Europe for as long as I could remember.
“That’s a wonderful idea.” Of course, he was all set to pay for the whole thing on his own, but I couldn’t allow him to do that. This was my grandmother and mentor; I was paying my fair share.
Talking to Lee, I finally remembered the one question Jackson had been telling me to ask them for a while. “Jackson wanted to know if there’s anyplace else in Europe that you guys want to visit other than the usual. I mean, I know what Gran wants, but what about you? This is your honeymoon, too.”
“Are you kidding? You and Jackson have been so generous to us. We’re thrilled and frankly, I can’t think of any place that I want to see that isn’t on the list already. It’s perfect.”
And so was their wedding day. On a perfect early spring day in the church that I’d grown up in, my grandmother married her best friend and my mentor became my new grandfather. I couldn’t have been happier.
That was until I left the church and I spotted my mother in the back row seat. I just about stopped dead in my tracks, walking down the aisle at Jackson’s side. I’d never once considered that Rachel might show, but there she sat with someone I'd never seen before. I couldn't tell you what the guy looked like because my eyes were on the woman who’d been a part of my nightmares for most of my life. Part of my troubled childhood.
Jackson caught my hesitation and saw what I was looking at. “It’s okay, just keep walking.”
She was still a slightly faded version of myself. Much older and definitely a reflection of her lifestyle. The years of hard living and drugs were there on her face. She looked ten years older than the forty odd years I knew her to be.
