Everlife Trilogy Complete Collection: Firstlife ; Lifeblood ; Everlife

by Gena Showalter

  Then he’s gone. I take his place at Kayla’s bedside, and to my amazement, it’s not resentment or anger I feel but pity and compassion. I could just as easily have been the one to turn on my friends. The only difference is, I placed my trust in someone deserving; she didn’t.

  “I’m so, so sorry,” she chokes out.

  “I forgive you,” I say, and not because she’s apologized. I forgive her because I refuse to give hate a place in my life. Hate carried Victor to his disastrous end. Hate drove Myriad to attack a realm where innocent children played.

  She only sobs harder.

  On the other side of her bed, Clay pulls up a chair. “Enough blubbering like a baby.” His tone is stern and unbending. Un-Clay-like. “You made a mistake. Who hasn’t? Use the mistake as a tutor, learn from it, and move on.”

  “P-people died.” She wipes at her tears with trembling hands. “I helped kill… I’m a murderer.”

  “Yes,” I say. “You are.” It’s true. There’s no denying it, no coating it with sugar. “But don’t stay in here and wallow. Get out there and help the people you hurt.”

  Reed joins us, squeezes my hand. “Victor and the other Myriad supporters would have found a way to attack us even without you.” A bandage covers his left eye and there’s a gash on his neck. “I just wish you’d come to me, told me what you were planning. I could have talked some sense into you.”

  She sobs again. I let her cry it out, and as the minutes turn into hours, I doze on and off in my seat. I’m aware of people coming and going, but don’t snap to full attention until Deacon peeks his head through a slit in the tent. Our gazes meet, his expression grim; he motions me outside. I stand a little too quickly, bid the others a hasty goodbye and rush out.

  As soon as I’m standing in front of him, he says, “Despite the attack, Dior’s day in court has kicked off.”

  You’ve got to be kidding me. “We should reschedule. Just for another day. Levi needs rest, not stress.” We all do!

  “In the chaos, we missed the deadline to reschedule. To postpone now is to lose.”

  I rub the back of my aching neck. “So what do we do?”

  “The warehouse where Shells are made still stands. Now we collect a Shell, go to the Courthouse and offer what support we can.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  * * *

  “Focus all your energy on your problem until it’s solved.”

  —Myriad

  I’m a jumble of apprehension as I enter the courtroom, Deacon at my side. The room has to be at maximum occupancy, Myriadians on one side and Troikans on the other. As the doors close behind us, emitting a high-pitched squeak, every eye darts to us.

  The proceedings—which are already in session—pause. Quiet reigns.

  Game face on.

  I lift my chin as I move deeper into the chamber. Javier is seated on the front bench of Troika’s side. He’s got his own game face on, hiding the thoughts rattling inside his head.

  Because Deacon and I are encased in Shells, Javier can see and feel us. Deacon sits next to him and gives him a little push to make room for me at the edge, Deacon remaining a buffer between us.

  Javier’s hands are wrapped over his knees, his knuckles white. Well. There’s a hint of his thoughts, after all. He’s petrified.

  His infection reacts to my presence, the veins of black writhing. The Grid buzzes, irritated by our close proximity. Light spills through me, lining every inch of me to create a barrier.

  I skim the faces of other spectators—

  My gaze collides with Killian’s, my heart nearly kicking down my ribs in an effort to escape my chest and get to him. He’s sitting with Sloan on Myriad’s side. He gives me an almost imperceptible nod.

  Why did he come? To see me? Or Dior? He has to know she’ll take one look at him and be more determined to side with Troika.

  My spine suddenly snaps straighter, as if it’s been strapped to a board. He’s here for us both, isn’t he?

  Brilliant boy. My boy.

  I’m not sure I’ll ever have the words to thank him for everything he’s done for me. I just hope he sees the gratitude and love in my eyes.

  Concern and longing stare back at me. I force myself to look away and nod at Sloan. She offers me a wobbly smile.

  The proceedings resume, and much like the other case, the judge’s chair is centered on the dais at the back of the room. Dior sits next to him, and Levi sits next to her. He’s in a Shell and draped in a pale blue robe.

  The same Myriadian Barrister who presided over the last case presides over this one—and he’s doing a great job. Dior is already crying, scenes from her life playing over the walls. He makes sure to emphasize the many times she allowed a Troikan loyalist to be hurt or killed, simply to avoid being punished.

  “You’re selfish,” he says, his tone harsh. “Yes, you made covenant to help your father, but in doing so, you hurt so many others. I know, I know. You’ve stated your defection will allow you to help others—to help Troikans. Do you truly believe those Troikans want your help? How many times did you allow their brethren to die simply to save yourself from castigation?”

  She keeps her gaze downcast, as if she can’t bear to face the crowd. “I don’t… I don’t know.”

  I stifle a moan. Come on. Get your head up! Resist self-loathing and forgive yourself.

  As the footage continues to play, hour after hour, and the Barrister continues to berate her, her shoulders sink in and her head dips lower.

  When the recordings finally end, he slams his hand on the wooden bar between them, leans in and shouts, “This man, Levi Nanne, claims he knows everything you’ve done and wants you to be part of his realm, anyway. Do you think it’s possible he wants you there simply to get revenge? And what of the others? Your actual victims. They live there. Do you think they want to see your face every day? They must hate you.”

  The unexpected suddenly happens. Around me, one after the other, Troikans stand and speak.

  “I forgive you.”

  “I forgive you.”

  On and on, until they’ve all spoken. And I think… I think they are the very people the Barrister mentioned. The ones she allowed to suffer and die.

  Her head begins to lift at last.

  The Barrister sneers. “Pretty words. And maybe they’re true—but maybe they aren’t.”

  “They are true,” Levi announces, jolting me. “I won’t speak for you, Barrister, as you’ve attempted to speak for me, and I won’t claim to know what you see when you look at Miss Nichols. I will only state what I know to be true. Everyone in this courtroom has made mistakes, in Firstlife and in Everlife. None of us can cast stones. When I look at Miss Nichols, I see a woman with great potential. A woman with a heart that beats with kindness. A woman I will be proud to call family.”

  I want to stand and cheer.

  The Barrister blusters, but it isn’t long before he regains his equilibrium. “I’d like to present to the court a statement made by Miss Nichols’s boyfriend, Javier Diez, this very morning.”

  The crowd quiets, tension thickening. And yet, Javier relaxes in his seat, his tension gone. He expected this, whatever it is—he wants it to happen.

  My gaze meets Levi’s. He gives an almost undetectable shake of his head. He has no idea what’s coming, either.

  The Barrister points to a spot on the wall, where new footage plays. In it, Javier is speaking to Dior. “We can be happy in Myriad. We can have the life you once claimed to want. My covenant will make provision for you, ensuring you’re able to practice medicine for the rest of your Firstlife—on anyone—without consequence. If you defect to Troika, they’ll insist you practice only on Troikans. You know they will. You’ll be in the same situation, only you’ll be stuck, with no way out.”

  In the video, he
caresses her temple, and I stiffen. Does no one else see the shadow he left on her skin? An oily residue now absorbing onto her pores.

  Did he…infect her? Without the possession of a Myriadian General?

  I can’t allow this. “He’s wrong. He’s so wrong,” I call. “Don’t listen to his lies.”

  “Order,” the judge demands.

  In the present, Javier stands and says, “I accept the covenant offered by Myriad. I pledge my allegiance to Myriad.”

  Gasps abound through the crowd, some of shock, some of glee.

  Dior ducks her head, and my nails cut into my palms. I meet Levi’s gaze, and this time he offers me a small smile. A sad smile. He’s expecting the worst from this point.

  “I said order!” Bang, bang.

  I want to fall apart, to scream and to rage. To hug Levi and shake Dior. “Remember the Light.”

  Bang, bang, bang.

  —Prepare yourself, Miss Lockwood.—Levi’s voice whispers through the Grid.

  “Javier,” Dior whispers. “I can’t. They helped me. I don’t want to get sick again. I want—”

  “If you defect today,” he tells her, his tone cajoling, “we’ll be enemies. I won’t be able to help you. You have to trust me, baby. I’m doing what’s best for us. I’m doing what’s best for you. I know you hope you can one day see your first love again. But your father is in Myriad, and he needs you. My contract provides for him, as well. On the condition you drop this trial.”

  She closes her eyes, tears catching in her lashes. In that moment, I see the shadows whirling underneath her skin. My stomach churns. She is infected. The disease has spread. The beginning of a pandemic?

  “I’m sorry, Levi. I’m so sorry, Ten,” she says. “But I’m… I’m withdrawing my request to defect. I choose to remain with Myriad.”

  Those on Myriad’s side cheer. Horror rips through me because I know what she doesn’t. A ransom must be paid—in Lifeblood.

  “No!” I leap to my feet.

  Deacon grabs my wrist, holding me in place. By the time I wrench free, Killian is at my side. He wraps his strong arms around me, his grip a shackle.

  “There’s nothing you can do, lass. I’m sorry.”

  I struggle against him, determined to reach Levi, to protect and shield the General who has so often protected and shielded me. I remained chained to him.

  “Let me go!” Levi doesn’t deserve to die. He’s done nothing wrong and everything right. He’s a good man, and as I’m learning, there are too few of those. “Now, Killian.”

  “I’m sorry,” he rasps.

  Levi stands, his head as high as I’d wanted Dior’s to be. He approaches the Barrister, who is given a blade.

  “Kneel,” the Barrister says with a cold smile.

  Levi only raises his head higher. “You are not my king. You have no power over me but that which I willingly grant you. I gladly die for the chance to help Dior Nichols.”

  “No,” I scream, bucking and kicking to gain my freedom. “Please! Don’t do this!”

  Killian only tightens his hold, nearly crushing my bones. A warm tear splashes onto my cheek, but it’s not my own.

  —Levi! You have to run. Okay? All right?—I throw the words across the Grid.

  He offers me another small smile. —I have no regrets, Miss Lockwood. I will enter into the Rest knowing I did everything I was meant to do. I helped my realm to the best of my ability. I died to give a human Light, whether she accepted it or not. So let my Lifeblood spill. Let it speak throughout the ages to come. Let it say darkness may win a battle but goodwill always wins the war. And you…forgive her and fight for what’s right. Let nothing stop you.—

  “Wait. Wait!” Dior shouts as Javier leaps over the bar to reach her. “What’s happening? Why do you have a knife?”

  The Barrister’s smile widens—he strikes.

  The blades slashes through Levi’s throat. Slashes through Shell and spirit alike.

  “Noooo!” I break free of Killian at last and bound over the bar to throw myself into the Barrister, knocking him to the floor. Fury and grief have gained control of me, and they use my fists to punch his horrible face.

  He’s not smiling now. No, he isn’t smiling now.

  Strong arms fetter my waist and wrench me backward. Again I punch and kick to regain my freedom.

  —Stop…stop, Miss Lockwood… Ten…—

  Levi’s voice penetrates my awareness. The guard who grabbed me releases me when Killian punches him. I dive down, skidding across the floor to reach Levi’s side and take his hand.

  I fight sobs. —We can get you to a Healer.—

  —A life for a life. The price must always be paid. You know this.—

  “No. No!” I shake my head as I gather him close, intending to lift him. I’ll carry him if I must. But I’m not strong enough, not right now, and all I can do is hold him and cry. “Not yours. Never yours.”

  His Lifeblood soaks me. It’s so beautiful, glittering like diamond dust.

  —I will live on.—

  “In the Rest.” I choke on another sob. “I know. I know I’ll see you through the Grid, but that’s not good enough. I need you in Troika. I need you with me. You’re not done with my training. There’s so much more you need to teach me. And what about Jeremy? Levi, you can’t leave him. He needs you, too.”

  —I will be with you both, always. In your hearts, I’ll be with you.—

  Not just ours, but every heart he’s ever touched. To so many, he’s been like a rainbow after a storm.

  He gifts me with another smile, this one slow, the sadness gone. —Until we meet again.—

  “No!” My voice cracks at the edges. “You can’t do this.”

  The Light fades from his eyes, and his head lolls to the side. I dry heave.

  He’s dead. He’s dead and gone, his spirit transported into the Rest. I thought the worst was over. I had no idea the worst was actually on the horizon.

  “I didn’t know. You have to believe me, Ten, I didn’t know this would happen…” Dior drops to her knees and frantically pats Levi’s face. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Levi! You didn’t tell me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Javier jerks her to her feet.

  My gaze locks on him and narrows. I’ve lost too many people lately; I’ve forgiven too many crimes. Here, now, I’m broken. I’m nothing but shattered pieces.

  “You.” I point at him. One decision can change everything. In a single second, your entire world can shift. The things we say, the things we do…we affect everyone around us. “You are responsible for this.”

  A flush of shame darkens his cheeks, and yet he never stops tugging at Dior toward the door, eager to escape the poisonous fruit of his labors. “I did what was right for her.”

  “Liar. You did what you wanted, not what she needed.”

  In the stands, hostilities bubble over, even as Sloan attempts to be a voice of calm.

  “Walk away. This isn’t the place—”

  Troikans and Myriadians charge each other. They might be weaponless, but they have fists and they aren’t afraid to use them.

  “Order! Order!” the judge shouts from his podium.

  No one listens. Once again, strong arms wrap around me. Killian drags me through the crowd. Deacon remains at his side, ensuring no one is able to harm me. Once we clear the room, the boys pick up speed and hurry out of the building, down the steps and to the Gate that leads to Troika.

  I stop struggling, knowing I’m not doing anyone any favors. Least of all Levi.

  “I wish I could go with you.” Killian reluctantly hands me over to Deacon. He traces his knuckles along my jawline. “After today, I’ll have to go into hiding. I’ll have to find a way into Many Ends from the fringes. But when you’re ready, sum
mon me. I’ll come. I’ll always come. I love you. Never forget.”

  My heart squeezes, trapped in a vise-grip, but I’m too broken to respond.

  As Deacon ushers me through the Gate, my fingers trail from Killian’s, my gaze staying hooked with his until the last possible second. Then he’s gone, and I’m stepping through the Veil of Wings to enter Troika, where I’m greeted by the same devastation I left.

  When will the heartache end?

  News of Levi’s death has already spread, everyone Deacon and I pass bawling. Most people knew him as a General, a warrior who helped save spirits and humans alike. An icon. A symbol of Light.

  I knew him as a friend.

  Hopeful glances find me, and part of me withers. I’m not the answer to their problems. I’m not as strong as I thought I was. I’m just a girl torn and shattered by the ravages of war. I’m the defeated one. The loser. The failure. Abhorred…by myself.

  Even as Light shines over me, I am surrounded by darkness.

  Love is not the answer

  How could anyone believe that

  Love empowers!

  Hate

  Is the true treasure and far better than

  Love

  Hate allows you to do what’s necessary for victory,

  and victory is the source of your happiness.

  Never allow yourself to be convinced that

  Love is not a weakness

  The truth is

  Love is an anchor that holds you down

  Be wise, and refuse to believe the biggest lie of all:

  Love gives you wings and makes you soar.

  A woman steps into my path, stopping me. I know her. Brigitte’s mother. Smiling, she grabs my hands; she’s the only bit of happiness amid the gloom. “Thank you. Thank you!”

  I simply blink at her.

  “Brigitte signed with Troika this morning!”

  My brow furrows with confusion. “Why?” I don’t understand. I spoke to her once, only once.

  “Whatever you said kept her thinking. She couldn’t escape your words and finally visited a TL stationed in Paris. They spoke at length. She left crying but returned a few hours later to make her pledge.”