Don’t Close Your Eyes

by Ali Parker

  I loved training the dogs, but I also loved when people brought their house pets in to the kennel for a week or so. It was almost like having a dog of my own. But I just didn’t have the space for my own pup at home, and besides, I was out working most days anyway. It wouldn’t have been fair to the dog. So I tried to spend a little extra time with the kenneled dogs.

  I finished up in the kennels and moved into the lobby. Countertops, windows, and floors.

  A customer came in while I was mopping. “Howdy,” he said, nodding at both Nina and I. He had a cute little spaniel-mix on a leash, and the dog eagerly sniffed at the newly-cleaned floor. Then, it squatted and marked the territory as hers.

  The man grimaced, looking embarrassed. “Sorry about that. But I guess you can see the reason that I’m here. What-all kind of dogs do y’all train?”

  I laughed and moved over toward the spot, dragging the mop and bucket with me. “Don’t worry about it,” I told him. “Trust me, we’ve seen it all before. And hey, at least I already had the cleaning supplies out this time!” I quickly cleaned up the mess, while Nina answered his questions.

  “We mainly specialize in training hunting dogs, but we train house pets as well, which I guess is what you’re looking for?”

  The man laughed. “Yeah, this little runt won’t ever be a hunting dog, but I need to make sure she’s a little better trained.” He paused. “If you don’t mind me asking, when is the soonest you could start with her? My wife wasn’t too thrilled when I brought Pika home to begin with, and she’s been getting more and more frustrated every day she comes home to find something else has been chewed up or otherwise destroyed.”

  I frowned and knelt down to scratch Pika’s soft fur. “You don’t leave her home alone all day, do you?” I asked, unable to keep the disapproval from my voice. Sure, she probably needed training, but she probably also wanted attention. A little thing, at her age? Leaving her alone like that was just mean.

  The man sounded defensive when he answered: “She’s only alone for half the day, if that,” he said. “And it’s not like we lock her in a crate or anything. We give her the run of the whole house. She’s got plenty of space to play.”

  But no one to play with, I thought, but bit my tongue when I saw Nina giving me that look. We’d had this conversation more than once, now. People just didn’t realize how much work dogs could take. Nor did they look into the specific habits of certain dogs before taking them home. They just saw a cute dog at the shelter or the pet store, bought it right away and took it home, not realizing that certain types of dogs were more active than others or had other traits that would clash with their lifestyles.

  Nina told me that sometimes I was a little too combative toward our potential customers. I was great with the dogs, she said, but not so much with the people. That was why normally she handled the people while I worked with the dogs. I just couldn’t help it, though. If this guy couldn’t take care of his dog properly, I didn’t think he should even have one.

  Nina knew how to suggest lifestyle improvements with more tact than I did, though, so I wordlessly held out my hand for Pika’s leash as Nina said, “Brea here can get started with Pika right away, while you and I chat and fill out some paperwork.”

  “Perfect,” the man said, and I wondered if he was more relieved that we were starting training right away or that he wouldn’t need to interact with me anymore.

  I didn’t really care either way, and led Pika into one of the training rooms, away from distraction, and got to work. It took surprisingly little effort to teach her to sit, although she didn’t want to stay; every time I walked a couple of steps away, she would wriggle toward me. I couldn’t be mad at her, though. She had the cutest, lolling-tongued smile and a big tail wag that almost flipped her over a couple of times.

  “You’re just the best little girl, aren’t you?” I asked, taking a break from the training to kneel down and give her a good brushing. We didn’t always do grooming as part of the training sessions, and it probably wasn’t something the man was going to pay for, but as I’d suspected before, she just needed a little attention. She leaned into the brush strokes, letting me rub her all over.

  “You just have owners who don’t understand you, huh?” I said, speaking to the dog as though she was an actual human and understood what I was saying. “You just want them to be around a little more. I get that. You’re probably lonely all day, aren’t you? And that’s the only reason you chew things.”

  “She’s not a naughty child,” Nina said, rolling her eyes in the doorway.

  I jumped a little, not having realized that she was there. Then, I grinned. “It’s just part of my training,” I said, only half joking.

  “You’re such a weirdo.” Nina paused. “How’s it going anyway?”

  “We’ve already learned to sit,” I said, and sure enough, even though the command wasn’t directed at her, Pika’s little bottom plunked down on the grooming table. I laughed in delight and fed her another treat. “Such a smart little puppy!” I praised her.

  “That’s awesome,” Nina said. “You going to be okay with her for the next half hour? Then Bill will be back to pick her up, but he said he’s going to bring her in biweekly, and he’ll look at enrolling her in the doggy daycare up the road, too.”

  “Good,” I said. It was at least a start. Something to give Pika a little more of a social life.

  “We also got a call for Tuesday morning,” Nina said. “It’s to help out with a couple hunting dogs.”

  “Cool,” I said, wondering why Nina was telling me about it now when she knew I wasn’t going to remember it by Tuesday. At least not until I looked at the schedule again on Tuesday morning when I got here.

  “You’d need to go on your own,” Nina said. “They want someone there early, and I have to take the kids to school. Tuesday is my carpool day. I tried to get the guy to change the appointment to a different time or a different day, but he says Tuesday’s the best day for him. And I tried to change my carpool day, but there are a lot of people who are sick this time of year, so we’re stretched pretty thin at the moment.”

  “I can handle the appointment on my own anyway,” I told her.

  “I know you can,” Nina said, smiling at me. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay with that before I confirmed it. It would be at seven in the morning.”

  I wrinkled my nose, but I nodded. “I’ll be there,” I promised.

  “I’ll get there as soon as I’ve taken the kids to school, too,” Nina promised. “Smooth over any ruffled feathers.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her, but I couldn’t help grinning. “I’ll be on my best behavior,” I promised.

  “You can start by being on time for it,” Nina teased, watching me for one more minute before going back into the lobby to wait for our next customers.

  3

  Luke

  On Saturday morning, I woke up to the sound of rushing water. I frowned and rolled over, just in time to see Duck finish up her business and slink off. I groaned, looking at the puddle of pee on the floor. I really needed to train her better. She had her run of the whole farm, and of course, she peed in my room.

  I rolled out of bed and went to grab some paper towels so I could clean up the mess. The thing that was most frustrating about all of this was that Duck was meant to be smart. She had all the potential to be a perfect hunting dog. I should be able to train her to do everything from sit to crawl to retrieve. But instead, I couldn’t even seem to train her to pee outside.

  And it was all because I just didn’t have time. I had so much else on my plate right now. I hated to sound whiny, but it just wasn’t fair.

  I cleaned up the mess and stomped down to breakfast, already in a bad mood.

  Of course, when I got down to breakfast, Mama and Daddy already had the atlases out and were marking out their route. Mama smiled up at me. “Waffles,” she said brightly. “I figured I’d make the last breakfast a good one.”

  “The last bre
akfast?” I asked blankly.

  “There’s no time like the present!” Mama said. She reached over and held Daddy’s hand. “We figure we’ll be able to get the trailer packed up this morning, and hopefully we can be out of here by the afternoon.”

  “Oh,” I said, dropping into a seat. I frowned, looking over at Daddy, trying to figure out what to even say in response to that. It just felt like it was all happening so fast. I wanted to ask what the big hurry was, but on the other hand, I knew what the hurry was, and it wasn’t anything anyone wanted to talk about.

  Mama could get sick again. They might only have this brief window of opportunity. They needed to take advantage of it. As much as I understood that, I hated the idea of them leaving.

  “You’ll get the house all to yourself until we get back,” Mama said, winking at me. “Don’t do anything too crazy, but I hope you have a little fun.”

  I swallowed back an incredulous laugh. Fun? When exactly was I going to have time to have a little fun? I was going to be up to my eyeballs with work, even with the help of the hands. I had never planned on having much responsibility around the farm; I was the youngest boy after all. Now, it was like the farm was all my own, and I was only twenty-one.

  This felt like punishment, even though I knew it wasn’t intended that way. But while other twenty-one-year-olds got to go out drinking and partying, and pretty much just having the time of their lives with their friends, I was going to be stuck here at the farm with just the dogs and the horses for company, working around the clock to get everything done.

  It wasn’t like I could say that, though. They clearly trusted me, and besides, I liked seeing Mama so excited about the trip. I just wished they had thought this through a little better, or told me enough in advance that maybe we could hire someone else to work with me. Not that I wouldn’t have the hands, but I wouldn’t have anyone to supervise them.

  I watched as they looked over the maps, chatting about the different routes they could take. Every once in a while, Mama would look something up on her tablet as well, confirming that they would be driving by some of the sites that she wanted to see.

  “Would you mind giving me a hand with the loading?” Daddy asked after breakfast.

  “No problem,” I said, even though I was already scrambling as I thought about being an hour behind schedule on my chores that day. Fortunately, it was Saturday, so we didn’t have too much that needed to be done. The hands would be able to get the animals fed and watered, at least. But that back fence might have to wait until tomorrow.

  “I know you’re not thrilled about this trip,” Daddy said in an undertone as we packed the trailer. “And I know that there’s going to be a lot of responsibility for you around the farm. But you’ll find your way.”

  I gave him a look. “I’m not trying to find my way,” I told him snippily, unable to help some of my frustration from spilling over into my voice. “I’m just trying to keep the whole farm from falling into ruin. You guys never exactly trained me to take over the whole farm. I thought Ted was supposed to be running things now that you were stepping back.”

  “I know,” Daddy said, grimacing. “And I know you feel like everyone is leaving you. But I think you’re selling yourself short.” He paused, a small grin on his face. “And, by the way, I hired someone else with a little more experience to help you out while I’m gone. He’s one of your cousins from my brother’s side. Between him and the hands, I think you’re going to be fine.”

  “I thought Ted was the one taking care of those boys.” I wasn’t interested in that shit.

  “He got a few of them to help, but I asked the oldest, Tanner if he would mind coming on down this way. You’ll like him. He’s a Dawson.”

  As if that meant anything to me. Did he really think that would make things better? First of all, I didn’t like that some cousin I didn’t know, nor had I ever met, was going to be there, especially since given that Daddy had hired him, he’d probably feel like I couldn’t possibly fire him. Throw in that the bastard was family, and I was stuck. It would make the other hands think that I had no authority here. He had undermined me without even trying.

  But then again, it wasn’t like I couldn’t use the help. Especially if the guy’s experience ran more toward keeping the books and all those logistical things that I had never had to worry about before. I found it weird as hell that daddy never talked about his side of the family, now all of a sudden, these fuckers were showing up.

  “This from your brother, Billy?”

  “Yep.”

  “I thought you stopped talking to him years ago over a prize-winning pig you two couldn’t agree on.”

  “I did, but I’m getting old, and you need some help. So did Ted. So, I called him. His boys are more than capable of stepping in. They’re going to take what they learn with us and go back home, I reckon.”

  “That sounds like a pain in the ass waiting to happen. We’re just opening a training program? You know I hate people. Family even more so.”

  “That ain’t true.” Daddy clapped me on the shoulder. “You’ll do fine,” he repeated gruffly. Then, he turned his attention back to the task of packing.

  I wanted to continue to protest, but really, what was I going to say? It was all decided. They were already packing up all their things and getting ready to go, and it would be selfish for me to tell them that they had to stay. And the new guy, whoever he was, had already been hired. For Daddy to fire him now, it would just look bad on all of us. Town wasn’t that big, and word about the whole incident would get back to the hands. There was no way to fix that situation. Just grin and bear it and hope things didn’t go totally to shit.

  I really wished at least one of my brothers could be there to help me out.

  “We’re really going to miss you,” Mama said, wrapping her arms around me as Daddy surveyed the packed back of the trailer.

  “I think we have everything,” Daddy finally said, and Mama’s grin only grew.

  “We’ll keep in touch,” Mama promised. “The minute you’re having problems here on the farm, we’ll head right back home.”

  I felt terrible even just imagining that possibility and sincerely hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Mama deserved this trip, especially after everything she’d been through. I just didn’t deserve to be stuck here all alone on the family farm to take care of things while everyone else got to go off and do what they wanted.

  “In addition to your new help here around the farm, I have one more gift for you,” Daddy said as he clasped my shoulder. “She’ll be here on Tuesday.”

  She? What the ever-loving fuck?

  “What?” I asked blankly, wondering what the hell he could be talking about. But my curiosity quickly turned to resentment. What, did he think he could buy my acceptance of this trip? That he could just bribe me and things would be okay?

  God, I just hoped it wasn’t another animal. The last thing I needed was a new animal to take care of.

  Before I could question anything, though, they were climbing into their truck and heading out on the road, with Duck chasing after them, barking her head off. When it became clear she wasn’t going to catch them, she came running back toward me, nearly bowling me over. Then, she nipped at my heels, trying to get me to run and play with her. I just wasn’t in the mood, though.

  I couldn’t believe this was really happening. That it was going to be me and the hands and long-lost cousin rattling around the farm for who knew how long. “What happened to my damn brothers anyway?” I muttered to Duck. “What happened to loyalty? And responsibility?”

  Mama and Daddy had raised us to be hardworking and to recognize that the farm was first and foremost in our lives. The number of times that I’d had to listen to Ted lecture Mason about how his frequenting Kinsey’s Bar was affecting his work on the farm was ironic, now that Ted was the one who had disappeared for weeks.

  But that was neither here nor there. Wishing they were here wasn’t going to bring any of them back. And
wishing that I could do something else wasn’t going to help me either.

  Hell, I didn’t even know what I would do if I didn’t have the responsibilities of the farm weighing me down. I didn’t know what I wanted to be in my life. I guess maybe that was the problem right there.

  Right now, what I wanted was to train Duck a little better, so that she would quit nipping at my heels and calm down a little. But instead, I headed toward the barn to make sure that the paperwork was in order and that everyone knew what their tasks were for the day.

  4

  Brea

  I went to Dad’s house for dinner on Saturday. I tried to get over there at least every other week, if not every week. Mainly just to check on him. He was getting up there in years, and I wanted to make sure everything was still okay on the ranch. But more than that, more than the physical part, I wanted to make sure that he was doing okay being alone most of the time. I knew he still missed Mom, and he’d never been particularly social. He wasn’t going to go out and meet anyone new, no matter how many times I cajoled him.

  So I went over there to keep him company. It wasn’t like it was a hardship, I loved him more than anything, and he always did the best weekend cookouts.

  Sure enough, when I pulled up to the house that evening, I could already smell him grilling something in the backyard, and it smelled delicious. I smiled, grabbed the beers that I had brought, and headed through the house to the back porch to greet him.

  Nothing had changed in the house in, oh, ten or fifteen years now. Even the pictures were all the same—photos of our relatives, photos of me as a kid. They were all down the hallway and all along the mantle in the living room. The whole place was a bit tired and worn-down, but I still loved it. It was cozy. There were books on nearly every surface, plus on huge shelves lining one wall in the living room.