Don’t Close Your Eyes

by Ali Parker

  Besides, it sounded like Daddy and Mama were having the time of their lives on their trip, so I was glad that I hadn’t tried to stop them from going. Even if it had dumped extra responsibility on me.

  It was still pretty lonely around the farm, though. With just me and Duck there most evenings, it felt too quiet, too empty.

  “What are you up to tonight?” Tanner asked, as we walked out of the barn.

  I shrugged. “Don’t know,” I said automatically. I regretted it the moment after I said it, knowing exactly what he was going to say next.

  “You should come for a beer with me.” He’d been trying to get me to go out with him ever since he’d first started here. But I don’t know, even though we were getting along well enough at work, I just didn’t want to start going for beers with him. If one of my old friends had asked, that might have been a different story. But when Tanner asked, it just felt like he was sorry for me or something. Like he knew just how lonely my evenings were and had taken it upon himself to fix that as well as the farm.

  “I don’t know if I can make it tonight, but maybe another time,” I said.

  Tanner snorted, but he no longer seemed offended at my refusals. “Okay,” he said. “But I’ll be at Kinsey’s, so if you change your mind, you’re welcome to join me.”

  “Yeah, I’ll see,” I said.

  Tanner lifted a hand in farewell as he headed off to his truck. I headed into the house, noting that Brea’s car was still there and that she must still be working with Duck. Or else petting the pup, or chatting with her. There were a couple of times that I’d walked in and it had been like she was trying to have a full-blown conversation with her. Like she thought that the dog was going to respond to her. She was kind of crazy.

  But I had to admit, she was doing good work with Duck. I hadn’t woken up to her peeing on the floor since she started working with the dog.

  She stood up as I came into the house. She was wearing a soft-looking tank top and short shorts, and Jesus, her legs just went up and up. I couldn’t help imagining what those long, tanned legs would feel like wrapped around me, and for a moment, I just wanted to push her up against the wall and kiss her.

  What the hell was wrong with me? Well, I suppose I already knew that. Tanner kept joking with me that the only reason I was so uptight all the time was because I desperately needed to get laid, and I was starting to think that maybe he was right. The only reason I couldn’t keep my eyes off Brea was because she was good-looking and friendly, and because I hadn’t been laid in far too long. That was it.

  It had nothing to do with the baked goods, her stubbornness, and her somehow adorable ditziness.

  I had to get out of there before I did something that I would regret. “I have to go,” I told her shortly. “So I’ll need you to call it a day.”

  “Okay,” she said brightly. “Is everything okay? Do you need a ride somewhere?”

  “I have my own truck,” I reminded her.

  “I know! Just, I’m headed into town anyway, so I thought I could give you a ride if that’s where you’re headed.”

  “And how would I get back?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

  Her face fell. “Oh. Right.” She shrugged, grinning ruefully at me. “I guess I hadn’t thought that far ahead."

  I fought the urge to roll my eyes, and I wanted to say something snarky about how I wasn’t sure she was even capable of thinking that far ahead. She certainly hadn’t seemed like she was, not since I’d met her anyway. But that seemed too rude, and she’d been nice to me since she started. Not to mention the fact that I really did appreciate what she was doing with Duck, even if I was a bit begrudging about it. I still wished I could train the pup myself, but I had to accept the fact that it wasn’t going to happen.

  “I’ll be back on Monday,” Brea said. “But if you have any problems over the weekend, you can always give me a call for backup.”

  I rolled my eyes at that. “I was doing just fine before you showed up,” I reminded her.

  Brea grinned and gave me a quick, friendly hug. Then without a word, she left.

  I thought about staying in, now that she was gone. Actually, I didn’t really want to go to the bar, and there was nothing else for me to do in town. Nothing to draw me out of the house. But I was starting to feel like a hermit, staying here all the time. And we weren’t going to be too busy around the farm this weekend anyway. Why not go out and have a little fun for a change? I deserved it, after all the work I’d been doing lately.

  In the end, I showered and changed into a clean shirt and jeans. Then, giving Duck a scratch on the head, I headed into town.

  When I got to Kinsey’s Bar, Tanner was clearly already drunk. “Hey, cuz!” he said, his eyes lighting up when he saw me. “I didn’t think you were going to come.”

  “I didn’t either,” I reminded him.

  “What changed your mind?”

  I shrugged, not wanting to admit that this had been a convenient excuse to get Brea out of my house. Because if I admitted that, I’d have to tell him why, and I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t think I could keep my hands off her when she was looking so damned good in her shorts.

  Tanner smirked at me. “You’re hoping to see that sexy dog trainer of yours, aren’t you?” he asked.

  “What?” I said as heat rose up my chest.

  “She comes in here sometimes. Not too often, but sometimes.” He winked at me, as though he had just divulged some great secret.

  “I thought we were going to hang out, that’s all,” I told him, downing half a beer in an attempt to catch up with him. I knew it wasn’t the smartest idea; I hadn’t been drinking all that much lately and my tolerance was probably shot to shit. But I wished he’d quit asking me questions I didn’t want to answer.

  “You should just sleep with her, man,” Tanner said. “Get the sexual tension out of your relationship.”

  “There is no sexual tension in our relationship,” I said, giving him a warning look.

  “Bull-fucking-shit,” Tanner said succinctly. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, not that I can blame you. And she’s into you, man.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “She brings you brownies and shit,” Tanner said, shaking his head. “Girls don’t just do that, not unless they like someone.”

  “She’s just trying to make sure I let her keep her job,” I said dismissively. “I don’t know, I doubt she’d be interested.”

  “You won’t know until you try,” Tanner said. He lowered his voice. “Besides, she’s kind of got a reputation around town. Not that she sleeps around or anything, but she’s looking for a good time. She’s a fun girl, you know. Likes to party. I bet you could get with her.”

  I shook my head, not deigning that with a response.

  Once he’d brought it up, I couldn’t help thinking about it. He might just be on to something. Just fuck and get the tension out, maybe that was good advice. It wasn’t like I was looking to start a relationship, and from her overly-friendly attitude, I didn’t think she was either. She seemed like the kind of girl who flirted as easily as she breathed. Not that there was anything wrong with that.

  If she had a reputation for just wanting to have fun, maybe that was all she was looking for, too. I didn’t like the idea of mixing work with pleasure, but then again, she’d already done a good job of getting Duck pretty well house-trained. I could sleep with her and then just tell her that Duck had learned enough, that I didn’t need her training sessions to continue any longer.

  Or I could sleep with her a few times, until Duck’s training sessions were totally finished, until she was the best retriever around. And then never see her again.

  There was definitely an appeal to either plan. I looked around the bar, but didn’t see her.

  Tanner laughed. “I knew you were here for her,” he said triumphantly. “Don’t worry, though. Not offended. Come on, you need a shot or two in you. Just in case she shows up.”

  I lif
ted my eyebrow. “I think I can handle chatting her up without being drunk first,” I said.

  “When was the last time you socialized with anyone?” Tanner asked. “Face it, you’re weird, man.” He frowned. “Come to think of it, she’s pretty weird too. You two would probably get along just fine.”

  I didn’t want to say that I was looking out for her for the rest of the night, but I was definitely a little disappointed when she didn’t show. Tanner and I got dragged into a game of pool, though, and fortunately, that was enough to take my mind off the idea of sleeping with her. Mostly, anyway.

  10

  Brea

  Nina was waiting for me at the café on Saturday when I arrived. “I know, I know, I’m late,” I said, breathlessly dropping into the seat across from her.

  Nina laughed. “Don’t worry, I knew you would be,” she said. “I already went ahead and ordered you the usual. Turkey B.L.T. with extra mayo, a pickle and chips on the side.”

  I widened my eyes at her. “What if this was the day I decided to change things up?” I asked.

  Nina snorted. “You’ve been telling me you might change it up for the last two years now,” she reminded me. “It still has yet to happen.”

  I grinned. “Yeah, fair point,” I said. “Thanks for ordering. How’s it going? Where are the kids?”

  “It’s going good. The kiddos are with Rob’s parents this weekend; they took a bit of a road trip.” She shuddered. “I don’t know who thinks it’s a fun idea to take a road trip with two children under-five, but hey, more power to them. They seemed to have some idea of what they were doing, anyway. They had a bunch of coloring books, car games, invisible ink puzzles and things like that.”

  I laughed. “So what you’re saying is that by the time they get back to Mom and Dad, your kids are going to be totally spoiled and unwilling to go anywhere in the car with you ever again.”

  “Pretty much,” Nina said, smiling ruefully. “But oh well. Can’t have kids without the grandparents spoiling them.” She paused, looking thoughtful. “I guess my parents, not so much. But Rob’s parents seem to think that’s the only perk of having grandkids, getting to spoil them rotten and send them back to me.”

  “You starting to regret having them?” I asked.

  “Oh no,” Nina said immediately. “I love having kids. Life’s definitely different now, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” She smiled, and her eyes took on a dreamy look. “The best part about having kids is definitely just watching them grow. I guess in some ways, it’s the same thing I love about training dogs. There’s just something so rewarding in watching each new thing that they’re able to do. Or the other day when I picked Liam up from school, his teacher told me that he’d shared his cookie with one of the other boys at lunch because that boy only had a bologna sandwich. It was like, man, not only did I make a great lunch for my kid, but I also raised my kid to share.”

  I grinned. “That’s really sweet,” I said.

  “It’s not all good moments, but the good moments definitely make it worthwhile,” Nina said. She paused and then added teasingly, “So, when are you going to make me an auntie so I can have my own set of kids to spoil?”

  I giggled. “Hopefully not for a long time,” I told her. “I don’t even have a boyfriend, you know that. I don’t even have my eyes on anyone.”

  It was a white lie, but she’d never know the difference. It wouldn’t be professional to admit that I’d had my eyes on Luke all week, watching him around the farm. I could see what Dad had said. He was demanding, and he was kind of mean sometimes. He would lose his patience and say the first thing that came to his mind, even if it was rude.

  But at the same time, I could see how hard he was pushing himself. Easily twice as hard as he was pushing anyone else. And I had to think that if I were working for him, I’d really respect that. I’d realize that he wasn’t just being mean, he just wanted things to be done right.

  I knew there had to be a lot of stress on him, too. He didn’t have nearly as much help around the farm as he should have, with a place that large. It was no wonder he was pushing himself, and especially not with his family all gone. He probably felt like he had to prove to all of them that he could do this on his own. Especially since he was the youngest son.

  That wasn’t fair to him. But I didn’t see him complaining, I just saw him trying even harder to do what he thought was expected of him.

  But it was like Nina read my thoughts. “You don’t have your eye on anyone?” she asked. “Not even the Dawson boy?”

  I snorted, “The Dawson boy?” I said. “Definitely not the Dawson boy.”

  “Uh oh, are things that bad?”

  “Nah,” I said, shaking my head. “We seem to have come to an agreement. He didn’t even try to fight me when I said I’d be back on Monday. He’s accepted that I’m going to do this.”

  “But?”

  I shrugged. “Even if I was interested in him, he doesn’t have time to have a girlfriend right now,” I told her. “He’s got too much going on around the farm, without nearly enough staff to help him out. And we’re just starting to get into planting season, too. Pretty soon, I don’t even think he’ll have time to sleep, not unless he hires, like, five more able bodies to help out. But at this point, I think the able bodies are pretty well picked over. Most of them have been hired for the season.” I frowned. “I still don’t understand why they haven’t hired more people.”

  “Maybe they need all the profits they can get to keep things going,” Nina suggested.

  “I don’t think so,” I said, shaking my head. “They don’t seem to be hurting for money. Or else I don’t think they would have hired me for as many lessons as they have.” I paused. “I don’t know, maybe Luke just doesn’t understand how much work he’s taken on.” I couldn’t help letting my concern spill over into my voice. I really did think he was going to have problems once they started planting, and it was another thing that I’d wanted to talk to him about.

  But I just didn’t know how to approach the issue. It wasn’t exactly my place to say anything about the way he was running the farm. I didn’t work for the farm. I should do as Dad had said and make sure that my only concern was for the dog, Duck.

  Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. I kind of liked Luke, despite his brusque personality. He’d made me lunch a couple of times this week, even though I’d brought my own lunch most days since that first one. I had come to really appreciate how kind he was to me while I was there.

  “How are things going with Duck?” Nina asked. I’d stopped dropping by in the evenings after training with her. It wasn’t really necessary, since she didn’t need to know the step-by-step progression of what we were working on.

  “Things are going really well,” I told her. “Amazing, actually. We’re through most of the house-training commands, and she’s passing all her tests with flying colors. I even got her started on crawling on her belly this week, although a lot of times, she lets her front legs get ahead of her back legs and gets stuck all splayed out.” I grinned, just thinking about it. “It’s really cute, actually.”

  “Sounds like it,” Nina said. “That’s awesome that you’re through most of the house-training, too. Bet Luke is really happy with that.”

  I shrugged. “If he is, he doesn’t really show it. But that’s okay. I know I’m doing a good job. I think we’ll even be ready to start retrieving this week.”

  “That’s really great,” Nina said approvingly. She shook her head. “I just wish Luke was being nicer to you.”

  I shrugged. “It’s not really that he’s not nice to me,” I told her. “He just doesn’t have any interest in me one way or the other.”

  Nina stared at me for a moment and then laughed. “And you want him to be interested in you, is that it?”

  “Of course not,” I said, rolling my eyes. “But I do wish he would be my friend, and he doesn’t seem to want that.”

  “Then maybe you need to be sexier.�
��

  I laughed and shook my head. “I wouldn’t know the first thing about being sexy,” I said.

  Nina rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t fish for compliments,” she said. “You know you’re gorgeous. Tanned and tall and blonde. You’re like a photographer’s dream waiting to happen.”

  “Bullshit,” I said. “I’m awkward. Everyone knows it. The first time I went over there, I tripped over a chair and fell on my butt. If I tried to be sexier, I’d just end up being even more awkward.”

  Nina sighed. “I hate to say it, but you’re probably right,” she agreed. “But what if you—”

  Before she could outline whatever crazy plan she had, my phone rang. I picked it up when I saw that it was Dad calling. “Hey,” I said. “How are you?”

  “Good, good,” Dad said. “I was wondering if I was getting to enjoy the pleasure of your company at dinner this evening.”

  I grimaced, knowing we would probably end up talking about both Luke and my moving back in. I didn’t really feel like having either of those conversations, especially not after Nina was already grilling me about Luke. “I can’t make it tonight,” I said. “But maybe next weekend? The weather’s supposed to get warmer all week, so we could do another cookout. I could make Mom’s pasta salad.”

  “That sounds like a plan,” Dad said, but I could hear that he was disappointed. “Hope that Luke boy hasn’t been running you ragged with his training requests.”

  “Nah, things have been really good,” I said. “Don’t worry about me.”

  “I know, I know,” Dad sighed. “I love you, sweetheart.”

  “Love you too, Dad. And see you soon,” I said. Then I hung up the phone, only feeling slightly guilty.

  I couldn’t help it if I didn’t want to talk about Luke. Sure, he was attractive, but he was clearly not interested in me. And nothing I did was going to change that. So I wished people would stop trying to talk about him with me. It seemed like no amount of baked goods would even make us even friends, let alone more than that, so all I wanted was to stop thinking about him.