Living With the Dead: The Bitter Seasons

by Joshua Guess

  When we found all those canisters at the apartment complex, we looked around very carefully before we messed with them or the big drums the canisters were sitting on. In general, it's a good idea to be as meticulous and careful as possible when searching any habitat, especially those occupied at any point by survivors. A lot of people will build traps to protect their stuff. We didn't find any, thank god, because the stuff in that lab was STUPIDLY dangerous. Yeah, all caps on that one.

  The notebooks and chemistry manuals we found gave us a pretty good idea of what we had discovered, and a call to NJ gave us an idea for testing the theory. So, we put one of the canisters on top of a pile of scrap metal, pulled off the cap, and lit the fuse. Yeah, fuse.

  The light that came from the it was so bright that all of us looked away. The engineer we'd talked to warned us that we should get as far away as possible and not look, and we listened...mostly. Watching thermite burn is a good way to permanently damage your vision. Most of us did as we were told, but one unlucky camper is going to see spots for the near future.

  That pile of scrap metal? Melted. Now a puddle of slag in the complex's courtyard. Thermite isn't a material you screw around with.

  Anyway, we left our last stop about an hour ago. The trip has gone pretty quickly since my last post, not a whole lot of problems to speak of. At least, no major ones. We did run into a good sized group of zombies yesterday while we were heading to a big shipping depot that had bale after bale of chain link (which we've been in serious need of). We tried driving through them, but they just parted and followed. That happens sometimes. When you're in a car or other smallish vehicle it's not a big deal, you just pick up speed and take a bunch of turns. When you're in a group of eight very large trucks with smaller support vehicles, that's not really an option. So, we hunkered down to wait them out, or at worst set up a defensive perimeter inside the circle we made with the trucks and start killing until the way was clear.

  Not many of us were excited about that prospect. Using a makeshift barrier when fighting the undead is always extremely risky. The trucks are pretty high off the ground, so a team would have had to be on the run, clearing out any zombies that got under them. It was Jess that suggested we try to scare them off with fire. Zombies have an innate respect and fear for it, as most of you know. Probably a leftover instinct from their days as people.

  So, thinking we might be lucky enough to keep the zombies from following us if we made enough fire, Jess spilled out a bunch of thermite onto the road, making a line. It was a dangerous move, since she had to run out in front of the trucks in the direction we were going to go and pour the stuff out. She set one of the canisters at the end of the line, and we all got ready to drive as she lit it.

  The zombies' reaction was...surprising. We managed to get ahead of the main crowd as the thermite lit up in the road, metals and oxides blazing like the sun. It was sheer luck that we didn't accidentally catch our vehicles on fire. That, and Jess having a good eye for distance. We passed the burning line with about a foot to spare, and the zombies that were milling about in the big group freaked out when they saw the flare of white-hot burning metal, and they ran way. Almost all of them.

  It was strange. I've seen the undead do a lot of weird things that I thought beyond them. I know they're afraid of fire, or at least wary of it, but this reaction seemed too much even for that. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say that most of them had some experience with similar flames, back at the apartment complex. We were only about thirty miles from the complex at that point. Seems reasonable to me that a large chunk of the zombies in the area had been that way at some point. By extension, it's also reasonable to assume that a bunch of them got the shit torched out of them by thermite, and it scared the rest of them enough that their dead little brains remembered it.

  Which is totally speculative and not really helpful to us. We've got a bunch of the stuff with us, though we couldn't carry most of it, but we're going to use it to weld with in emergencies.

  I'm really looking forward to getting back to NJ and seeing how everyone is doing. I've been in contact with some folks there off and on over the last few days, and the general feeling is that spirits are up. People seem to be recovering somewhat from the attack and the resulting deaths, which relieves me. I was getting worried that the terrible losses were the proverbial straw that would break their backs. I still worry that there are people who might have lost hope completely. I'd like to walk the floor, talking to folks and trying to make them smile. I'd hate to lose even one more person, especially to depression due to recent events.

  You have to look hard for those people--they make it a point to be hard to see. To be small. Yet, they are the ones who need looking after the most. I try to look for the ones who stay apart from the rest, have few people to talk to, and focus on getting to know them. I've been that guy. I know that pain.

  And there might be one or two back at NJ who still need a willing ear...So we're going home, full steam ahead.

  at 10:20 AM

  Sunday, February 20, 2011

  A few updates

  Posted by Josh Guess

  We've made it back to North Jackson. Actually, we got in yesterday afternoon, but I was busy overseeing the unloading of our supplies, so I didn't have time to post anything about making it home safely.

  It turns out that my concern for the people here apparently outweighed my estimation of their hearts. I guess being away for a few days has given me some perspective, because I'm seeing a society in motion before me. The residents are so much more interactive with one another, going out of their way to include those who haven't been as social in the past as most. It's a hell of a thing to see such an outpouring of community spirit as it happens.

  The warm weather is coming and going, but temperatures have been pretty steadily trending upward. That means we'll be able to start some of the work we've had to put off for a variety of reasons. Our very first effort is going to be building the fence that will protect us as we go back and forth between the main compound here and the building we're going to use as a hydroponics bay. A lot of work has been going on there, turning the roof into a water collector, altering and adding to the sprinkler system to carry the water in for irrigation. The biggest part has been the constant construction going on inside, creating levels of boxes and troughs to put soil in. It's huge and impressive. Now all we need is the soil (which is easy) and the fence (which isn't) and we're ready to roll.

  Thought the zombie population has adapted to the cold, while it was here they were still a lot easier to kill. It made them sluggish and slow. Now that it's getting warmer, the same number of them poses a more serious threat. Not anything we can't handle and haven't dealt with before, but months of having it relatively easy worries me. Before you all start getting red in the face--I said "relatively" easy. I know it's been hard, but we have to face the reality that with the return of warm weather, the zombies are going to become just as dangerous as they were before the winter. I just don't want anyone falling prey to habit and getting killed.

  I haven't heard anything from Patrick since he and the girls saved Dodger and Jamie's asses. I really can't wait to give them a hard time about that in person, being saved by a guy with one hand and three little girls. Big, bad survivors, aren't they. HA!

  In seriousness, I understand why Dodger and Jamie left the rest of their group (which includes some of my family) behind when they went in to rescue Pat and the girls. The risks involved for a large group heading into an area writhing with zombies are just too high. That's totally ignoring the fact that their group has kids with them and that they are running low on ammo. I'm glad that things worked out, though I'm curious to see how Pat, his girls, and the gallant heroes that "saved" them are going to get out and join up with the my brother and the others.

  Jeez, this is just kind of a newsy post, isn't it? Guess I've gotten so used to being upset and writing to get it out that I don't know what to do when things are actually OK. I really d
on't have much else to say today, other than this: I feel really positive right now. About the future, about the way things are going in NJ. About the steps we've taken to secure what we need to survive. I've been all over the place lately, but it's starting to feel like I have a path, a plan that I can follow. It's a good feeling, let me tell you.

  It's a hard thing not knowing which way you're headed, always surrounded by uncertainty. I've got mine set...now it's just a matter of getting my feet moving.

  at 8:59 AM

  Monday, February 21, 2011

  Broken Dreams; New Reality

  Posted by Josh Guess

  I'm in a mood. Not a good mood, nor a bad one. Just...a mood.

  I've been thinking about what the zombie plague has really cost us. I've written before about the cost in real terms--safety, shelter, food, and the like. The thing is, the more I think about what's happened to the world as we approach a year into this mess, the more I think that every bit of bad has had an equal amount of good.

  This isn't a new concept. I've talked about it before. Let's take the Richmond soldiers as an example, shall we? While I'm still furious (along with every other citizen of my compound, at home and abroad) that we were betrayed and had our home taken, a lot of good has come from it. Call it fate or kismet, but events have worked out to be largely beneficial for many, many people since my home was taken over.

  The various groups of refugees have accomplished a lot since they've been gone from home. Courtney and her convoy built friendships and trade agreements with dozens of groups of survivors as well as securing a lot of new supplies and bringing in many new people. Gabrielle and Evans' group managed to bring in new blood as well, and build goodwill with their short-lived medical practice at the hospital. They even managed to find another doctor, and Phil has been knocking the rust off his old skills very well. My group hasn't accomplished as much, to be honest, but since we've been here at North Jackson, I think we've done a lot to help the citizens of this place deal with the horrible tragedies that have hit them.

  Funny, none of them blame us for bringing it down on top of their heads. That last attack, anyway, happened because we're here. I take it as a sign of incredible maturity as a people that they didn't blame us for that. They took us in, they took the risk, and they accept that.

  Which is exactly my point with this post. Look at how irrational and short-sighted people used to be, and compare that with how those around you act now. I have seen so many people use their logic and reason when they would have once simply reacted out of anger or fear. Though the Richmond soldiers have my home, I can't help but feel some satisfaction that those of us who managed to escape have used our freedom for the betterment of ourselves and others. It's awesome.

  The cost, to me, is a hard one but ultimately worth it. I don't know if that's my stupidly powerful optimism making the situation look better than it actually is, but that's how I feel. We've paid a heavy cost in human lives since The Fall took away so many, and we'll do so again. But because of that crucible, those of us who are left are better than we probably could have been before. Inch by inch, we are moving toward being a people that have less need for violence between ourselves, and more towards a cooperative society. There are, of course, exceptions--like the Richmond soldiers.

  I'm fine with the fact that my dreams have been broken, likely forever. I used to want to be an author, someone who wrote fantastic tales and had a comfortable, wonderful life because of his popularity. Big house, decent car, none of the struggle to pay the bills that had defined my life until The Fall.

  Look at me now. I'm a writer, all right. But now I huddle over my laptop or phone, desperately telling the facts as a way of keeping myself sane. I'm ok with that, since this blog has saved the lives of many people, and acted as an instrument for other groups to find us and start the process of working together. My dream of being the next Stephen King or Patrick Rothfuss is probably dead forever. I'm alive, though. I'll take that as a win.

  It's the same for most people. The happiest people before The Fall are likely still the happiest as survivors. Those folks didn't want the trappings of success or the ease of life that comes with wealth. Chances are, those folks wanted to live a full life, one with purpose and love, and everything else was just icing on the cake. I envy that attitude, and I hope that I can feel that way permanently some day. I want to leave behind my old life completely, forget the old hopes that no longer apply, and forever simply be here, now, in the life that I have.

  I hope the same for each and every one of you. May all of us learn to be happy as things are, and find the joy in the everyday that the best among us take for granted. Though some of us are far away from home, we can manage it. I know it.

  I've got some things to see to tomorrow that can't wait, so I won't be posting. I've sent a text to Patrick to see if he can keep all of you entertained in my absence. Hoping he'll get the message, and will be able to send something out...

  at 8:13 AM

  Tuesday, February 22, 2011

  Homeward bound (almost)

  Posted by Patrick

  Well, true believers, your friendly neighborhood Patrick is free from Florida and back with Dodger's convoy of hope. I even liberated his laptop to write this, teach him to give me middle watch. I thought that we would be headed to North Jackson for some much needed R and R, but Dodger had other ideas. The convoy was getting real low on ammo, so they would have had to head there soon. Guess I should have thought of that before we brought about ten thousand rounds with us. So now we get to travel the eastern seaboard, lucky us.

  Right now we are in South Carolina headed to a smallish post of survivors. Then we have stops in Maryland and New Jersey. Sigh, I might never get everyone back together again. Oh well, it's good work. This trip we are bringing fuel to some rural camps. Courtney negotiated with a group of people on the Gulf Coast that had set up at one of the refineries for a couple of tanker trucks. David and the rest of Dodger's convoy picked them up. I know the group in S.C. really need the gas badly, their reserves got water in it and haven't been able to go out foraging in weeks. So off to the rescue.

  Tell you what though, it's real good to be back with friends again. To be able to talk them, share worries, fears, and joys. To be able to tell the whole truth and not the half truths I had to always tell the girls for fear I might upset them. Only problem being back in semi-civilization is temptation. They have pain killers here, and good ones at that. I told Dodger and Jamie about what I went through coming off of them, they agreed to keep an eye on me. Being a former three hundred pound chain smoker I can tell you self control isn't my strong suit.

  Alice is really glad to have kids closer to her own age to play with, and I mean play. She followed Kylie around constantly, mostly because Kylie is short for her age, but they never played together, they just did what needed doing. I'm afraid that Alysa and Kylie are still to wary of every one around them to relax and be kids again. I don't even know if they can anymore.

  Part of it was my fault. When we met up with the convoy, only those on watch carried guns and I didn't think to tell anyone how important the guns were to the girls. Well, David tried to get Alysa and Kylie to give up their guns while I was off talking to Josh on the phone. The shot brought me running. I found both Alysa and Kylie with guns drawn, their backs to the wheels of a bus, and David with a look of surprise, anger, and just a little bit of fear. The shot was of the warning variety and only put a little hole in the ground, albeit right in front of David's feet. Hours of talking, pleading, negotiating, and even yelling by me, and David, found us in the same position, final result, girls kept their guns. Hate to say it, but I'm more than a little proud of them for standing their ground.

  Well that is how things stand now. As to how we got out of the Nazi HQ, well I guess I still have some time until my watch shift is over.

  We got out pretty much the same way we got Dodger and Jamie in, lots and lots of ammo. Luckily Dodger, Jamie, and Alysa are better
shots than me. The lack of cold to help us meant we needed to get rid of the smarties and they did just that. All three lining up shots on the same smartie, if one missed the next fired, before the bastard could run off. Even Alysa got one, though Dodger claims that he hit it, it just hadn't fallen yet.

  The next part of our plan was the systematic genocide of all zombies around us, easy enough without the smarties to guide them. Just start at the back of the horde at the walls and work your way inward. No automatics this time though, no need to waste any bullets. It took the better part of a day to get the numbers down to hand to claw fighting numbers.

  The next few hours after that were still a little tough on me, the memory of Mom and Dad zombie still fresh in my mind. I don't know why I had more trouble mentally with close up fighting than through the scope of a gun. Who knows. Well the last fifty or so fell to Jamie and Dodger's swords and my mace. Thats right, I got to use a mace. Damn sight better than the crowbar I'd been using up to that point. Thanks for the loaner Jamie, won't even ask why you have a mace, buddy.