Saving Micah

by Kristy Marie

  Micah

  You’re my end and my beginning

  Even when I’m lost I’m winning

  {‘All Of Me’ -John Legend}

  He is so infuriating! How dare he bet on me against our friend. How dare he try to get a reaction out of me that way. Why doesn’t he just talk to me like a normal person? Have you talked to him, Micah, about how you feel?

  I stop my rant. My inner voice is right. I haven’t said anything that would let him know that I wouldn’t like him kissing some strange girl in the first place. Ugh. Why does all of this have to get complicated? That’s the very thing that I never wanted.

  Our friendship. I remember our friendship. My best friend is sitting in my living room with a bruised jaw because of his deadbeat dad. I’m in my room pouting over a bet that didn’t really matter. He wants to keep us in the friend zone. So, I go to him.

  I walk out of my room and go back into the living room. Zant has his head lying back on the couch and his eyes are closed. He’s holding the ice pack so I know he isn’t asleep. I sit next to him as easy as I can so I don’t move him. He opens one eye and looks at me.

  I open my mouth to speak. Nothing comes out so I try again. “Let’s go back to the way things were. I don’t know what is going on but, I’m uncomfortable and I just want my best friend to not make bets involving me for whatever reason. I don’t like mind games. You know that.” I say all of this while looking at his chest because I can’t seem to look him in the eye.

  He lowers the ice pack and turns so that he is facing me. “I hear you and I agree. You are my best friend Micah and I didn’t mean to hurt you or confuse you or whatever I did.” He puts his finger under my chin so he can lift my eyes to his. His green eyes glow with weariness. “I have one question though,” he says and my heart beats wildly. “Do you like… Are you in love… with Levi?” He stutters through his question.

  I look at him with shock. And then I bust out laughing.

  I laugh until tears are running down my cheeks. He’s not smiling. He’s not laughing. He looks mad and that makes me laugh harder.

  Finally, I quiet down and shake my head at him. “No, I don’t like Levi, not like that, and I’m not in love with Levi. Not in the least. We are friends and that is all we will ever be.” I tell him enough to make it clear in between small giggles.

  He looks down at his hands and mumbles, “but y’all looked cozy last night at the theater.”

  Now I get it. “Zant, Levi told me about the bet and we talked. He was making me feel better and apologizing for his part in it.” I’m not about to tell him everything that we talked about and I know Levi well enough to know he won’t tell Zant either.

  “Ok. I get it. I’m sorry for my part too.” Still looking at his hands, he says his apology almost in a whisper. He finally looks up to me and almost looks embarrassed or something. But, why would he? I shake my head and grab his ice pack to refresh it.

  “It’s ok. Let’s move on. What are we doing today?” I am just ready to move past this and get back to normal.

  He’s followed me into the kitchen and sits on a stool at the bar. “I don’t know. I told your dad that we were probably going to the park. I’m staying with you guys tonight to avoid the dumb-a over there. So, whatever you want to do will be fine with me.”

  That’s normal. Zant basically has his own room here. The guest room has several of his things because of how many times he’s had to stay here to avoid Roy. Dad refuses to let him go home after Roy has hit him. Over the last couple of years, he’s been at our house at least once every week. Roy is Satan in the flesh. It seems to get worse every year. It makes me sick.

  “Ok. I’ll call the girls. You call the guys and see what’s going on. We will reevaluate afterwards.” He nods at me and gets up to go back to the living room for his phone. I go to my room to make my calls.

  I make my way back to the kitchen once I’m done and he’s back on his stool with his phone in his hands. “Well, what did they say?”

  He looks up. “Both Levi and Chance have plans with their parents today. They couldn’t get out of it.”

  I nod. “Macy is shopping with her mom and Kelly is going to her grandma’s house today. It looks like it’s just us. What now?” I ask him as I look at him across the bar.

  “I’m starving. Let’s go get lunch and then we will decide. I’ll text your dad while you get ready to let him know. He left earlier with your mom.” Zant goes back to his phone to do just what he said.

  I run to my room and pull off my sleep shorts and t-shirt to pull on jeans and a tank top. Thank God, it’s been a nice Spring Break. Mostly sunny and warm weather. Not hot yet like it gets in the dead of summer in the South but, the cool before the death. I pull on my Chucks as I hobble out the door to get back to Zant. I’m a little excited that it is just me and him today.

  “Wait here and let me get my car. Once I’m on the street, run and jump in. I don’t want you in my yard. Ok?” I nod at his words and watch him walk outside. I count to ten before I walk out the front door and lock it. Then I run to the street to jump in his car. We’ve done this more times than I care to count.

  We end up at The Tavern for lunch and get a couple of sandwiches. Neither one of us mention Roy and I know that Zant doesn’t want to. I always try to stay clear of that topic even though I wish he would open up to me about it. I know he is hurting but, he schools his emotions like a pro.

  After eating, we get back in the car and head out of town. We decided that we just want to ride around and listen to the radio. It’s a beautiful day and we never get to do this with it just being us. Usually we have another or several with us.

  We have this game that we play where one of us will pick a cd, put it in the player without the other seeing, pick a track, and then wait for the other person’s reaction to the choice.

  Usually it goes something like this… “Ooooo I forgot about that song!” or “I was just thinking about that one. You beat me to it.”

  This time Zant is picking the song and I’m waiting. After a little bit the opening chords to ‘You’ by Candlebox come on. I immediately tear up. With everything that happen with us yesterday, I needed him to do this for me. This is my favorite song and he is the only one that knows it. Him remembering means the world to me. I know he remembers because he wouldn’t pick this song. It isn’t his favorite. When I look over at him, he has a sheepish look on his face, almost like a blush. It is so endearing.

  Next it is my turn. I put in the cd and pick the track. I look at him while the first notes start to play and his face lights up. “Smile Empty Soul. Gah I love this song.” He has a smile that looks like it’s going to split his face. ‘Therapy’ will always be his top Smile tract. I know this because he has told me a million times and I needed to give him this.

  After a couple hours, we head home. We grabbed some movies that we wanted to see and Zant parked in front of my house. We walk in without even looking at his house.

  “He kiddos, where y’all been?” Dad asks when we get in the living room.

  “We just rode backroads after lunch. Nothing much.” Zant answers him while I head to the kitchen to check in with Mama.

  She was swaying to some Lifehouse song. If my mama doesn’t know anything else, she knows good music.

  “Hey mama. What are you cooking? Zant and I are starving.”

  What? Lunch was a long time ago.

  “We are eating red beans and rice tonight. Did y’all get some movies to watch?” She stirs her beans before putting the lid back on the pot. My mama’s red beans are the best in the state. I feel my mouth water just thinking about them.

  “Yes ma’am. We got a few. Looks like we are having a slumber party since Zant is staying.” I tell her as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “We won’t stay up too late though, with church tomorrow.”

  “That’s right. Y’all know we have to get up early and you both need to practice getting back into the routine tonight with school startin
g back on Monday.” My mama and her good logic.

  I head back out to the living room to check in with Zant. I want to read but, I need to make sure he doesn’t want to do anything else before supper.

  He and dad are watching some fighting on TV. UFC or something. Who knows with those two. I just turn around and head to my room. Mama will call me when supper is ready. Zant will come find me if he wants to. He’s been in my room lots of times. I never felt weird about it before but thinking about it now, I think I would feel weird with him being in here. I shake my head. I’m totally being stupid.

  I climb up to the middle of my bed and grab my Kindle. I’m just getting to the good parts of ‘No Princess Here’ by Mandy Bee. Before I know it, Mike is punching Kyle in the jaw to knock some sense into him. I jump a little on my bed and smile. I’ve been waiting for that one. Man, this book is so good. I just love Sydney.

  After a few minutes, there is a slight knock on my door before Zant walks in. I watch him without saying anything as he looks around.

  “Hey. What’s up?” I say when his eyes finally land on me.

  “Nothing. I was just wondering what you were doing. The fight is over and your dad had to do something.” He’s wearing a solid navy t-shirt over his firm torso. I can slightly see the muscles that he is building. I can only imagine what he is going to look like when we are older. The jeans that are covering his lower half are well worn and a little ripped at the knees. How can somebody look so good that you want to eat them somehow? His green eyes are glowing when I finally reach them. He caught me checking him out. I feel my cheeks heat but I don’t shy away from him. What’s the point?

  He clears his throat and crosses the room to sit on my bed with me. I think I love his confidence in himself the most.

  “H-how’s your jaw. Do you need to still have ice on it?” I ask him through a bated breath.

  “I had ice on it while watching the fight a little bit ago. I’m good,” he says as he watches me.

  “You ready to watch a movie or something?” I don’t know what to say right now. It is weird with him in my room. I can’t lie to myself. Seeing him kiss that girl last night has lit my fire for him. I really wish he would kiss me like that but, I will never say that out loud. He must see the look on my face. “Come here, Micah. Stop stressing out. We are fine. The look on your face is telling me that you are overthinking something and you shouldn’t. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

  He has moved closer to me and wrapped me up in his arms. He settles back on the headboard of my bed as my head rest on his chest. He smooths my hair down as I listen to his heart beat a steady thud.

  “I’m sorry Zant,” I tell him. I want to say more but I hope he understands why I’m apologizing. Even if I don’t.

  He whispers, “It’s ok. We are both ok. There is nothing to apologize for.”

  Chapter 6

  Zant

  But I never told you

  What I should have said

  No, I never told you

  I just held it in

  {‘I Never Told You’ -Colbie Caillet}

  We sit in her room, on the bed, until Mrs. Lucy calls us for supper. We both straighten up and make our way to the dining room. I help Micah set the table while Mrs. Lucy and Mr. Davis bring the food in. We all laugh and joke around as we get everything ready and sit down to eat. This is what family is supposed to be. These nights make me miss my mama.

  “Zant.” Mr. Davis gets my attention, “I could use your help with getting something fixed on my boat after supper if you don’t mind.”

  I nod my head at him as I put the last bite of food in my mouth. “Yes sir,” I tell him, “whatever you need.”

  I’m more than grateful to him for how he always helps me with things so it’s never a problem for me to help him with anything he needs. He has taught me a lot over the years. Way more than Roy has ever thought about teaching me.

  Roy has taught me only one thing.

  How NOT to be.

  Once Mr. Davis and I carry the dishes to the kitchen for the girls, we get out of the way and head outside.

  “My tail lights on my boat trailer aren’t working good. I need you to help me figure out what’s going on. They were working when I pulled out last weekend to go test the boat out at the lake.” Mr. Davis explains as we get out to his shed that he keeps his jet foot boat under. It is a really nice boat. I’ve been fishing with him several times. We catch catfish on the Mississippi and Homochitto Rivers during the spring and summer. He has taught me everything that he knows about fishing and I find it very relaxing.

  “Ok. Do you know what could be wrong with them?” I don’t really know anything about lights.

  “It’s probably just a blown bulb or water damage but, I figured you could help me figure it out.” I just nod. I’m beginning to think that he wants me out here for something totally different.

  We work for about thirty minutes before the question comes.

  “Is there something going on with you and Micah?” He asks the question without looking at me. I really didn’t expect him to be so blunt though.

  “What do you mean, sir? We are best friends.” I answer him honestly but, I am going to feel him out. I do not need him to hate me when he finds out that I love his daughter.

  He looks at me then. “That’s not what I meant. Let me be clear. Have you told Micah that you love her?”

  If the look on my face does not show my shock, then I am better at facial expressions that I give myself credit for. With a dry mouth, I ask him the only question I can. “How did you know?”

  “Son, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve seen a boy in love. I have been a boy in love. I know it when it shines so bright in my face. You love my daughter. I know you always have. Am I right?”

  I just nod my answer.

  “And I am assuming you are not telling her because you want to keep your friendship and you are worried about when high school is over and you both go to college.” He says it in a questioning tone but I know it is a statement.

  “Am I wrong for that, Mr. Davis?” What is the point in denying anything. This man has known me my whole life. He has seen me beaten and bruised. He has witnessed me cry over both of my parents. My mother is gone. My father is a monster. Who will help me if he doesn’t?

  “No son.” He sighs but I know more is coming. “I understand. You guys are still young. I know that Micah feels the same way. She may not understand her feelings like you do. She has not lived the life that you have. She has only had love to surround her. She doesn’t comprehend the emotions that come with someone that is evil. She doesn’t know how to appreciate love that could just disappear.” He is looking me in my eyes. I know he is speaking the truth. I know everything he is saying as well as he does.

  I just look back at him. I show him through my eyes that I agree with him but, I want him to know how I feel.

  “I agree. She has only known pure love.” I drop my gaze. “She has not been heartbroken yet and a lot of the time I do not feel good enough for her. I never want to break her heart. I want to make sure that when I finally tell her how I feel, I’m in a good place. I want to be away from Roy. I want to be able to prove to her that I can take care of her heart too.”

  He doesn’t speak for a long time and I finally raise my eyes to his. He’s just looking at me.

  “Zant, let me tell you something son. You tell Micah when you are ready. It was never my intention to make you feel like I wanted you to rush anything. Micah is my baby girl. She is my princess and believe me when I tell you this. You are good enough for her. Even now.” With that, he turns and walks toward the house leaving me there to think about his words. What now?

  I walk back in the house about ten minutes later. Micah is on the couch watching a show so I sit down next to her. I throw my arm onto the back of the couch behind her. She turns to look at me. “Did you guys get the lights fixed? Daddy came in and went straight to his room. Did something happen?”
>
  “No. The lights are working. He’s fine.” We know Mr. Davis. If he has a hard time working on something, he needs time alone afterwards. He is a perfectionist. Whatever he is working on better work or there will be wrath to deal with.

  She just nods and goes back to her TV show. After the show is over I look over to Micah. She fell asleep about half way through. I move my arm from behind her and rise from the couch. I bend over and pick her up. Waking her is useless. She can’t walk a straight line when she is half asleep and she has bumped into everything in the house at one time or another. After watching Mrs. Lucy replace a couple lamps I decided that carrying her to bed was a safer bet.

  I lay her on the bed and remove her socks and shoes. This is a routine that I am used to. I leave her jeans and shirt on. No way am I going there. She would kill me. I know her too well.

  I press my lips to her forehead and make my way out of her room. I lightly close the door and go to the kitchen for something to drink.

  I’m staying here tonight. Mr. Davis would have my head if I went and slept at home after what Roy did this morning.

  I don’t have my church shoes though. If I go in the morning, I will run into him. If I go now, he is probably passed out and he won’t even know I’m there.

  The Carson’s are watching TV in their room and I will be back long before they know I’m gone.

  I silently creep out the front door to make my way to my house. I use the key under the flower pot to let myself in.

  It’s quiet. He must be in his room. I look around to make sure he isn’t hiding to sneak attack me again. I look in the living room and the kitchen. He isn’t in either room so I make my way to my room. I don’t need to turn any lights on. I know this house like the back of my hand.

  I make my way to my room and shut the door. Apparently, Roy got sober enough to fix it. I don’t make a sound in case he is in his room. He may pass out most nights dead drunk but, he can hear a mouse slip a piece of cheese off a mouse trap without setting the trap off.