Deadly Valentine

by Jenna Harte

  “Then that's worth my fighting for.”

  Regina frowned.

  “There are many things about my job and this situation that I'm unhappy with, I'll admit that. But sacrificing my work to be with Jack, I can't do that. Eventually he may be gone anyway, and then where would I be?”

  “At least you'd have some fun in the meantime,” Regina said nearly sulking.

  Tess smiled. “I guess there's that.”

  Regina sighed, resigned that she wasn't going to convince Tess to be with Jack.

  Tess sat alone in her office. Although she'd successfully deflected Regina's attempts to change her mind about Jack, the truth was the conversation had her reflecting over her choice. Legal work was tedious and boring, especially business law. Divorce clients were irritating and the process was heartbreaking. The only work she could remember enjoying recently was the research for Jack and the sparing with the police during interviews. She'd been doing all she could do to keep the business open, but if she were honest with herself, she had to acknowledge that her heart wasn't in it. In fact, if she didn't have Regina to consider, Tess thought she might chuck it all. Take the trust money she swore she'd never touch and go live in Aruba.

  The comment that stuck most in Tess' mind was that Regina would choose love over her job particularly if the job turned against her. It made sense to see it that way. So why had it made more sense to try and salvage her clients and her relationship with the Showalters who had turned on her when Jack had never asked her to change? He didn't like Daniel and yet not once did he ask her to stop being Daniel's friend. The revelation made Tess feel worse than she already did. What kind of horrible woman had she become? She turned on the one person who never abandoned her.

  She thought she'd cried all her tears over the weekend, but she felt them threaten again. She couldn't decide which was more difficult to bear, her own pain or the thought of the pain she inflicted on him. "I think you broke him." Brad's words repeated in her mind. "I think I may have broken myself," she whispered.

  She realized she didn't like the woman she'd become. A week earlier she was happy in her neatly ordered life. Everyone kept at a safe distance. Her work was boring, but safe. But now she knew she hadn't been happy. She'd been complacent. She talked herself into thinking that she'd created the life she wanted, but then Jack showed up and everything changed. It was like she'd been living in a fog and hadn't realized it. With him the fog had cleared and she felt and experienced more. It was frightening and thrilling, and most of all it was what she needed. The prospect of a safe life now terrified her. To end up as Jack predicted, old and alone was unimaginable and yet exactly the course her life was taking.

  She hadn't always been like that, she thought. At one time she'd been adventurous, impulsive and willing to take a risk. And with Jack she'd seen glimpses of her former self. As if a light from heaven were shining down on her, Tess felt with such clarity that she'd been wrong. Jack didn't upset her orderly life, but saved her from it.

  She found a tissue in her drawer and wiped the tears that had escaped. Then grabbing her purse, she left her office.

  "Are the files ready?" she asked Regina.

  "I'm just cutting the check," she said. "I put his stuff in the file box there."

  Tess added her materials to the plastic crate. She took the check from Regina, signed it and added it to the crate, closing the lid.

  "I'm heading out for the rest of the day. Send emergencies to my cell, otherwise take messages."

  Regina's eyes narrowed as they studied Tess. A slow grin spread. "Tell Mr. Valentine I said 'hi'"

  ~~~~

  Tess knew that Jack was a reasonable man. But she also realized just how badly she'd treated him. She deserved to have him throw her out of his office. So she needed to prepare, to come up with a plan to win him over. It was sexist, she knew, but if she stood a chance, she needed approach him with all the tools at her disposal.

  She headed home to change so she didn't look like a lawyer. She dragged out an old pair of jeans she hadn't worn in years. It seemed like it took forever to get them on. She had to lie on the bed and suck in her stomach to get them buttoned. She found the red stilettos and squeezed her feet into them. It was a look she'd seen in the bars of D.C. years ago. She hoped it wasn't out of style now. She found a knit sweater that she usually didn't wear because she felt self conscious about the tight fit in the chest. Pathetic, she thought. God she hoped it worked.

  She then went to her freezer and pulled out a storage container full of her chocolate caramel decadence squares. If the tight outfit didn't work, maybe chocolate would. She put several into a smaller container. Then remembering Mrs. Standish, she found a second container and added more. Armed, but not very dangerous, Tess headed to her car to make the trip to Washington, D.C.

  "You can't see him," Mrs. Standish said in a way that sounded more like a mother protecting her young than a secretary.

  "Do you like chocolate, Mrs. Standish?" Tess asked.

  "Who doesn't?"

  Tess handed her a container of her chocolate squares.

  "You think bribing me with chocolate will change my mind?"

  "Try it." Tess tried to hide the fear and uncertainty, but wasn't sure she was pulling it off.

  With narrow, suspicious eyes, Mrs. Standish opened the box. Lifting a dark square, she took a bite. As was always the case with this particular confection, there was no way to hide the surprise and delight. Mrs. Standish looked up at Tess.

  "Did you make these?"

  "Yes. I can give you the recipe. It's very easy."

  Mrs. Standish stood, picked up the box. "I'm going to put these in the refrigerator in the staff room. So I'll be away from my desk."

  Tess' heart leapt at her first victory.

  "I never saw you."

  "No. Of course not." Tess said. She waited until Mrs. Standish walked away and then went to Jack's door.

  She took a deep breath as her hand gripped the door handle. She felt like her entire life rode on this moment. Would he be happy to see her? Would he forgive her? Would he throw her out? She knocked and opened the door when she heard him say, "Come in."

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  He sat at his desk. His eyes registered surprise first and then cool indifference. She nearly turned and ran, but somehow propelled herself through the door. During the two hour drive she'd rehearsed what she wanted to say, but as she stood under his piercing dark stare, all the words were lost.

  "Did you bring the files?" he asked, his voice as cold as his eyes.

  She nodded. "They're in the car."

  He watched her, his face growing increasing annoyed as she simply stood and stared. She was like the proverbial deer with her eyes caught in the headlights. She didn't know where to go or what to do to avoid the collision.

  "I'm very busy, Ms. Madison."

  She felt his words, the coldness of them like a stab in the heart. "I wanted to talk to you for a minute."

  "I don't have time right now."

  "I'm sorry," she blurted out. "You were right about everything. I was a coward. Everyone I thought was important were idiots."

  He sat back in his chair. "So you weren't able to salvage your reputation or your business and now you're back?"

  "No. That's not it. I know I hurt you. Hurt you deeply and I'm so, so sorry, Jack."

  "What do you want Tess?"

  She ignored the terseness of his voice and instead focused on the fact that he called her by her first name. "I want you."

  Something crossed his face and for a moment she thought he was going to forgive her. But then it went cold again. "You think a simple sorry because you can't save your business will fix things?"

  She felt her hackles rise. "I'm not sorry I can't save my business, which in fact I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to. Not if it means losing you."

  "I'm lost to you already, Tess, so you might as well go back to Jefferson Tavern and chase ambulances or whatever you need to d
o."

  She was surprised by his comment. He wasn't just angry. He wanted to hurt her. And she took it because she knew she deserved it.

  "I love you." Why hadn't she led with that? It was the one thing he wanted to hear from her at one time.

  Again she thought she saw change in his eyes that she wanted to grab on to, but he wouldn't let himself be swayed by her. He quickly put his mask back in place.

  The door behind her flew open again. "Jack, I got that – oh hey Tess," Brad said as he walked into the office. His head bobbled back and forth as he assessed what he'd walked into. "I'm interrupting."

  "No," Jack said. "Tess brought the files. Can you escort her down and get them from her car?"

  It was a dismissal. Not only that, but he was having her thrown out by the man who'd also once thrown her out of town. The pain of it nearly brought her to her knees. She knew she'd hurt him, but wouldn't have expected such cruelty. Not from him.

  Brad looked to Tess, his eyes asking her to try harder. She nearly laughed. She was fighting for her life and Brad's office.

  She couldn't decide what to say. She'd said she was sorry. She said she love him. What else could she say? All she had left was the chocolate. Perhaps it would detract from the fool she'd made of herself through her clothes. She reached into her purse and pulled out the container.

  "It's not Scharffen Berger, but I think you'll like it." Would he remember how he used chocolate to smooth things over with her? His infraction wasn't as bad as hers, but surely she deserved another chance. "I was afraid. I thought I wanted what I'd built for myself. But you changed that. I didn't realize it until it was too late. Now I see how I lost myself because of fear. I don't want that anymore. I want a chance to show you that I can be the person I was three years ago when you first loved me."

  "Three years ago?" Brad asked with surprise. "Did you-"

  "Shut up, Brad," Tess said. Then turning back to Jack, she continued. "I didn't tell you I loved you the other night not because I didn't feel it, but because I was overwhelmed by it."

  "Oh, well, there, Jack. Come on, forgive her, kiss and make up, and let me make you rich," Brad said.

  "Shut up, Brad." Jack came around his desk, leaving the container of chocolate where she'd set it.

  "I'm not giving up," Tess said as she watched him put his coat on. "I can be persistent too." Although the tight jeans and shirt with kick ass shoes didn't seem to be very persuasive at the moment.

  "Why would I allow myself to risk this again?" he said to her. "I now see the appeal of your safe world."

  "Is it dead then?" She was very near losing it. She could feel her chest compressing from the pain and the desperate need to beg. "Is it possible to kill love in an instant?"

  He was standing so close, towering over her. His features turned to pain. "If only it were." He gave her one last look and then walked out of the office.

  Tess sank into the nearest chair. She felt shaky as if she'd just come through a traumatic situation, except the trauma continued on and on. She heard Brad move, but was thankful he didn't say anything. A moment later he was in front of her with a bottle of water.

  "I've got stronger stuff if you need it," he said.

  She took the water, but didn't drink. "I guess I should get those files."

  He leaned against the desk, crossing his ankles as they stretched out. "We can wait a few minutes."

  "If he comes back and I'm here, he'll be angry."

  "I don't think so. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he came back to make sure you are still here."

  Tess looked up at Brad unable to follow his meaning.

  "The reason he rushed out was because he was precariously close to forgiving you."

  "That doesn't make sense."

  Brad laughed. "He's not ready to forgive you. Or he wants to you feel his pain. I don't know because I'm too shallow to understand these things. But I do know a man's got pride. And I also know that eventually he'll be back."

  "I don't think so. His exit seemed final."

  "It seemed that way because he's hurt. He's hurt because he still loves you. If he didn't care, he would have been indifferent to you."

  She supposed that could be true, but it didn't change the fact that Jack had said he wasn't going to risk his heart. She stood. "I'll get the files."

  Brad escorted her to the elevator. "I admire you,” he said as the elevator doors closed.

  Tess remained quiet.

  “People like you and I who have been rejected all our lives, we don’t usually set ourselves up to be crapped on. Yet there you were in Jack’s office doing just that."

  She cast a glance his way. "This time I deserved it."

  "Yeah, you did. A little anyway. But he'll come around."

  "I didn't know he could be like that."

  "You should have seen him when his mom died."

  The reminder of her abandoning him when he lost his mother only served to make her feel even less deserving of Jack.

  "But he's naturally an optimist and likes to live life full force. He'll lick his wounds and then he'll be back."

  Tess wasn't going to hold her breath.

  "What did you mean about three years ago?" Brad asked.

  "We didn't cheat on you if that's what you're asking."

  "But I was right about Jack having a thing for you back then?"

  "That's what he said."

  They continued down the elevator in silence for a few floors.

  "We got along pretty well for a while don't you think?" he finally asked making eye contact with her through the reflection of the elevator doors. "We had some fun times."

  She nodded. "We had a few."

  "When we got engaged, we agreed that it was because we had lots of fun together, which already put us ahead of our parents."

  "Yes."

  "So maybe we could still try it."

  "Try what?" Tess asked hoping she was misunderstanding him.

  "Marriage."

  She turned and gapped at him. "Brad, you don’t like women. And I thought you weren't going to hide who you are."

  "Imagine us together though. We'd have fun. We could start our own law practice. And we'd both be on the same page when it came to the idea that true love doesn't exist."

  "It’s a nice offer, Brad, but I'll pass."

  "Probably just as well. Jack would kick my ass. Do you think you could not tell him about this part of our conversation?"

  If she ever had the chance to speak to Jack again, Tess was sure she wouldn't mention Brad's crazy proposal.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Tess walked through her front door longing to feel the comfort of the home. But as she stood in the entryway there was no sense of comfort. It was his fault, of course. A week ago everything about her home and life was just as she'd wanted. There was no clutter, no sentimental reminders of a life left behind, and as she discovered, no life either. Jack had been right about that. Her neatly constructed life was ordered and satisfactory, but lacking warmth and vitality. She wouldn't have noticed had he not come back into her life. Now she saw her home as he had that first day; stark and lifeless.

  He'd been right, but she'd been too late in acknowledging it and now she was alone and aware that her life was an empty shell. Before he'd shown up she'd been alone, but hadn't felt lonely. Now she felt as alone as she imagined anyone could feel. Not that she didn't have people to call on, but unlike her, they had real lives. Regina had her children. Helen, Tom and Daniel had each other. Even Kate had another group of gal pals.

  Not that she'd given up on Jack. She'd told him she could be as tenacious as he was. She could work on him just as he'd worked on her. He'd loved her once. She would hold on to that. Brad had to be right that Jack's level of hurt and his need to hurt her back was a reflection of how deep his feelings were for her. And maybe he was right about one more thing. Maybe Jack would change his mind. Have a change of heart and give her another chance.

  In the meantime though s
he was home feeling cold and lonely. Perhaps she should get a real pet. She'd heard they did wonders for people who were alone a lot. She scanned the room for Buster's bowl and then remembered that she'd lent him to her neighbor's son for his pet show-and-tell at school. She truly was alone.

  Not wanting to wallow, she considered going to bed. When her phone rang, she jumped, but was grateful for the distraction. She told herself it wouldn't be him even if deep down she hoped it was.

  "Hey Tess," Kate said on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry I didn't call back sooner."

  It took Tess a moment to remember why Kate would be calling her back. The article.

  "Listen, I didn't know anything about that piece of crap being published. If I did I would have warned you, you know that right?"

  Tess nodded and then realized Kate couldn't see her. "Yes. I was just curious why someone would be following us that closely?"

  "Are you kidding me? On most days the big story around here is about a proposed road change. Now we've got murder, the most eligible bachelor in the world, and a romance. That stuff sells."

  "It's not news." Tess sank to her couch.

  "No. Unfortunately, news is becoming too much like entertainment instead of information. So is your Valentine angry too? I'd love to see him take on that sniveling muck rucking B.J. Brown."

  "No. Would you know if someone told B.J. where we were or is he just a news stalker."

  "He's definitely a stalker, but I hunted him down after I got your message. He gave me that 'I can't reveal my sources' line, but by the time I was done with him, he told me it was Shelby Worthington who called him. She said you were on a date with the guy suspected of killing your boyfriend's uncle. Real soap opera sounding stuff, huh?"

  "Shelby?" Tess wondered when Shelby would have called him. And why? Tess thought back to the conversation they had in the bathroom at Tolivers.

  "Yes. Why would she want to set you up like that?"

  "I'm not sure," Tess said. "I think maybe she didn't like my insinuating her husband was covering up for her."

  "Really?" Tess could hear the reporter in Kate's voice.