I Hate You, Fuller James

by Kelly Anne Blount

  Of course she would. What would I say? Oh, Wren? Yeah, I know she’s beautiful. Why don’t I spend more time with her? Good question. I guess she wasn’t cool enough before…

  Pushing the thoughts from my mind, I finished chewing the last bite and swallowed.

  The second sandwich I made a few minutes ago sat on the plate. There was no way I could shove that one down my throat at the same speed.

  I frowned. I’d cut it in half and everything. I really needed to eat it, but I didn’t want to keep Wren waiting. Deciding she wouldn’t care, I poured two tall glasses of water. Balancing everything in my hands, I headed back to the family room.

  “Guard this sandwich with your life,” I joked.

  “Huh?”

  “Oh, I was trying to make a joke.” Stop acting like such a dork. “Here’s your water.” Our fingers brushed as I handed her the glass. My fingers tingled. Two times in one night. I’d never felt that kind of intense reaction when I hung out with Marissa, which included plenty of make-out sessions in the back of her BMW.

  “Okay, I just need to pop my laundry in the washing machine. I’ll be right back. Oh, and help yourself to half the sandwich.”

  “All right.” She eyed the sandwich with a grin. “If you have a tablet, bring that down, too. There’s an algebra app I want to show you.”

  “Awesome. Be right back.” I hustled out of the room and grabbed the duffel bag from the hallway. Taking the stairs two at a time, I dumped my smelly basketball clothes into the washing machine and added detergent. “These can go in, too,” I said to myself as I added a basket of my little brother’s clothing.

  A few minutes later, I made it back down the stairs with my tablet, calculator, and everything else I could possibly need. “Ready.” Wait, when did she get the glasses? The oversize black frames made her look even cuter than before.

  Looking up, she totally caught me staring.

  “Oh, yeah. I wear contacts to school.” Wren pushed the glasses up. “When I get home, I switch to these.”

  “They look really nice.” What did you say to her? Get ahold of yourself before you spill anything else!

  “Um, thanks.” Wren’s fingers brushed against the frames and adjusted them slightly.

  “I figured you didn’t have much time to work on the paper since I marked it up in study hall, so I was thinking we could tackle math first?” Wren pulled out her tablet and powered it on. “Then, when you’re done, all you’ll need to do with your paper is clean up your citations and tighten up the sentences I marked. Sound good?”

  “That would be great.”

  Forty-five minutes and one app later, I finally had a breakthrough. Wren had managed to explain polynomials and monomials in a way that actually made sense. We’d gone through more than half the problems I’d been assigned for homework, and after the lightbulb turned on, I’d gotten all of them right.

  “Why didn’t Mr. Osla explain it this way?” I set my math book down. “Seriously—the way you taught me makes perfect sense.”

  Wren shrugged and grinned. “I guess I’m the world’s best tutor.” She burst out laughing a second after the words left her lips.

  I joined in. “I’m going to get that on a coffee mug for you.”

  A lock of Wren’s hair had slipped free from her ponytail and fell across her face.

  Before I could stop myself, I reached forward and tucked it behind her ear. It was as soft as I’d imagined. A little cool to the touch.

  Her dark lashes swept up, revealing green eyes with swirls of gold. Even through the thick lenses, they were massive.

  And tempting.

  Her hand met mine, sending shock waves to my core as our fingers wound together.

  My mouth went dry. “You’re beautiful.”

  Wren’s lips parted, but she didn’t say anything. More importantly, she didn’t pull away. She might have even leaned forward a bit. Wren freaking Carter leaning toward me? I couldn’t believe what that little motion did to me.

  Bringing my other hand up, I cupped her cheeks. Yep. Her skin was equally as awesome-feeling as her hair. Soft, smooth, silky. And it was exactly right that I was holding her like this.

  I wanted to kiss her.

  Scratch that, I needed to kiss her. Feel those lips on mine.

  I leaned in until we were only inches apart. Her floral scent wrapped around me. A scent I’d never smelled before and never wanted to forget.

  “Fuller,” she whispered, the space between us shrinking even farther.

  My heart slammed in my chest, stealing my breath. I’d never wanted to kiss someone more in my entire life. I knew it could be amazing. I needed to find out.

  “Wren, can I—”

  Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

  Wren’s eyes went wide. Pulling back, she patted the sofa around her. Once her fingers found it, she pressed it to her ear, never taking her gaze from me. “Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

  Holy buckets. What just happened? Did Wren and I almost kiss?

  The color drained from her face, and she sat up straight. “Wait, what? What happened? Where are you?”

  Frowning, I watched Wren whip off her glasses and rub her face. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

  Wren let her hand fall into her lap. Tears welled up in her eyes.

  “What happened?” I grabbed her hand.

  “M-My grandpa. He was complaining of chest pain and fell.” She put her glasses back on. “I’ve gotta go. My mom is riding with him to the emergency room. My dad is driving there behind the ambulance.”

  “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, Wren.” I let go of her hand and helped her scoop everything into her bag.

  “Please tell your parents. I, um, I—” Wren shook her head and glanced toward the door. “Um—”

  Her hands trembled as she slung her bag over her shoulder. She looked so small and fragile, I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her that everything would be okay. “You shouldn’t get behind the wheel right now. Please let me drive you.”

  Wren hesitated for a moment before nodding.

  “Fuller? What’s going on?” My dad stuck his head around the corner.

  The almost kiss coupled with the bad news had left me breathless. “Wren’s grandpa is having chest pain and he fell. She needs to meet her family at the emergency room, and I offered to drive her.”

  My dad looked down at his phone. He was an emergency room doctor at the main hospital in town. “I’ll give Dr. Adams a heads-up that her grandpa is on his way in. He’s on duty tonight.”

  “Thank you so much.” Wren’s voice was thick.

  “Thanks, Dad. I appreciate it.”

  “Drive safe.” He grabbed my car keys and wallet from the small glass dish in the hallway and tossed them to me. Snagging them both out of the air, I took Wren’s hand and raced toward my car.

  Chapter Eleven

  Wren

  “It’s going to be okay.” Fuller reached over and squeezed my hand.

  Hot tears rolled down my cheeks and fell to my lap. “H-H-He’s going to be so confused and scared.”

  “Your mom is with him in the ambulance though, right? That’ll help. Your dad is right behind in his car, and we’re only a few minutes away.” Fuller’s voice was calm.

  The thought of Gramps strapped to a gurney in the back of an ambulance was almost too much for me to handle. “I can’t believe I wasn’t there to help. What if he’s having a heart attack?”

  “You do so much for your grandpa. You can’t always be there. And chest pain can be anything from indigestion to heartburn, not always something serious. Hopefully it’s only minor.”

  “What if it’s not?” I asked, half to him and half to myself. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to believe it. Guilt settled in the pit of my stomach. Gramps wasn’t feeling well earlier; I should have s
tayed home with him. Kept a close eye on him. I felt sick, like I was going to vomit. The only thing that would make me feel better would be seeing Gramps’s face.

  Still holding my hand, Fuller spoke softly. “I’ve been here before. Well, not rushing to the hospital for my grandpa, but with Hudson. The fear of not knowing what was wrong with him nearly caused me to have a full-blown anxiety attack. His screams of pain. Not being able to do anything that would make him feel better. The helplessness was overwhelming.”

  “How did you learn to handle it?” My voice shook.

  “I don’t think you’re ever prepared or fully know how to handle situations like this, but taking deep breaths and trying to think positively really helps. Also, trusting the doctors to do what they do best lets me remain as calm as possible.”

  I wiped fresh tears from my face and forced a deep breath. It helped a little bit, but that all went out the window when the hospital came into view. Fuller followed the red emergency room signs until we entered a large parking lot.

  I pulled my hand back, immediately missing the comforting touch. “Thanks for the ride. I really appreciate it.”

  “Wait.” Fuller pulled into an empty parking space and turned off his car. “I’ll come in with you.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.”

  We got out of the car and raced toward the big glass sliding doors. Bright lights and an employee sitting behind a large desk met us as we entered.

  My hands trembled. “Hi, my name is Wren Carter and I’m looking for my grandfather, Eugene Kaufman. He came by ambulance with my mom. My dad should be there, too.”

  A woman with big brown eyes and curly black hair typed his name into her computer. She had a plastic nametag that read “Sandra.” “He’s being evaluated right now. We have a two-visitor policy in each room, so we’ll need you to wait out here.” She motioned to the waiting room behind her. A handful of people sat scattered in wooden chairs with plastic cushions. Little kids in pajamas sat in the laps of their parents. One woman was in a wheelchair, a mask covering her mouth.

  “But I need to see him. Make sure he’s okay.” The onslaught of fresh tears stung my eyes.

  Fuller grabbed a few tissues from a box sitting on the counter. He handed me one, folded the rest, and put them in his pocket.

  “You can switch places with your mother or father, but we can’t have more than two people with the patient. Otherwise, there isn’t enough room for the doctors and machines.”

  “Thank you, Sandra.” Fuller touched my elbow and guided me to the waiting room. “Why don’t you text your mom and dad that you’re here? I’m sure one of them will switch spots with you as soon as it’s possible. They’re probably helping with paperwork and insurance details, you know?”

  I nodded and dabbed my eyes with the tissue again.

  We sat in a double seat. Reaching around to my back pocket, I grabbed my phone, opened up my messages app, and typed out a message to my parents.

  ME: I’m in the waiting room.

  ME: They won’t let me come back.

  ME: Something about a two-person limit?

  ME: How is Gramps?

  ME: What do the doctors think is wrong with him?

  MOM: They’re getting ready to take him in for X-rays.

  ME: X-rays?

  ME: What about the chest pain?

  DAD: No signs of a heart attack.

  ME: Thank goodness!

  DAD: They’ll keep running tests but want to get the X-rays done as soon as possible.

  MOM: Doc thinks he may have broken a rib and possibly his wrist when he fell.

  DAD: I’ll switch places with you as soon as he’s back.

  MOM: Your friend’s dad called and alerted one of the doctors on call.

  MOM: He’s taken very good care of Gramps.

  MOM: Please tell him thank you very much.

  ME: Thanks, Mom.

  ME: Please tell Gramps that I love him!

  ME: And that I have a super special basketball game to watch with him as soon as we get home.

  MOM: Will do, honey.

  MOM: We love you.

  ME: Love you too.

  “What did they say?”

  I relayed the information to Fuller.

  “That’s great news about it not being a heart attack.” Fuller sighed with relief and took my hand in his. “My dad has worked here in the ER for almost ten years. This is a really good hospital. Your gramps is in great hands.”

  I leaned against Fuller and let my head fall to his shoulder. Sobs racked my body. In any other situation, I’d be obsessing about our almost kiss. Scrutinizing every single detail, but all I could think about was Gramps. I loved him so much, and the thought of him being scared and in pain was the absolute worst feeling in the entire universe. Tears blurred my vision as my body continued to tremble.

  “Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay.” Fuller repeated the same phrase over and over while I continued to cry. He wrapped his arm around me for support. After what felt like a lifetime, my phone buzzed.

  MOM: Grandpa’s ribs are fine, but he broke his wrist.

  MOM: The X-ray confirmed it.

  MOM: He needs to have surgery, but they’re going to wait until the morning when the orthopedic doctor gets in.

  ME: Oh no!

  MOM: Dad is going to come out so you can come in.

  ME: Thank you!

  ME: What about the chest pain?

  MOM: Possible acid reflux, but they’re going to check for gallstones with an ultrasound.

  ME: Poor Gramps…

  MOM: Try not to worry.

  MOM: They are taking excellent care of him.

  ME: I know, I just feel so helpless.

  MOM: Everything is going to be okay, sweetheart.

  MOM: Dad is on his way.

  MOM: Love you <3

  ME: Love you too <3

  “They’re still trying to figure out the chest pain. Might be acid reflux or gallstones. They are going to do an ultrasound. But he definitely needs to have surgery to fix his wrist,” I told Fuller.

  “What kind of surgery?” Fuller’s eyes were full of concern.

  “He broke it. I guess they’re waiting on an orthopedic doctor in the morning.” I glanced at the text message again. My vision clouded over with tears. “He must be in so much pain right now.”

  “I’m sure they’ve given him something for that. They have great orthopedic doctors here. Hudson’s been seen by a few of them. I know I said it before, but I mean it—your gramps is in great hands.”

  I blinked back the onslaught of fresh tears that threatened to spill over at any moment.

  My dad emerged from behind a large wooden door. He scanned the waiting room until he spotted me waving at him.

  “Wren, and, um, who’s your friend?”

  “Friend.” Oof, that was a loaded word. Our almost kiss flashed through my mind. How he’d cupped my face, how I’d leaned in and closed my eyes, and how I wanted his lips on mine more than anything I’d ever wanted before. My heart thumped and my palms suddenly felt damp. No. Stop. I couldn’t think about that now. There was too much going on. “Hey, Dad. This is Fuller, the boy I’m tutoring. I was at his house when Mom called. I was too upset to drive, so he gave me a ride.”

  “It’s very nice to meet you, sir. I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances.”

  My dad held out his hand. “Thank you very much, young man. Dr. Adams is remarkable. Please tell your father we are incredibly grateful.”

  Fuller stood and shook my dad’s hand. “Of course, sir.”

  “How do I get to Gramps?” I asked.

  “Through those doors, down the hall, there’s a little desk. The man behind it will take you to his room.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” I turned toward F
uller. “Thank you. You have no idea how much all of this means to me.”

  “Listen, Wren, before you go back there,” Dad said. “I’m going to run out to the car and grab a few things from the trunk for your mom. They’re going to admit Gramps to the hospital and she’s going to spend the night with him. I’m going to stay for a little bit longer, but I hate the idea of you sitting out here by yourself.”

  “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay with Gramps.” My voice caught in my throat.

  “Visiting hours are nearly over in the main part of the hospital. Once Gramps is admitted, he can only have one family member with him.” He placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

  “Oh.” My head dropped.

  “But you can see him tomorrow after school. He’ll be out of surgery and feeling much better by then, I’m sure.” My dad gave me what appeared to be his best reassuring smile.

  Fuller stood next to me. His hands were clasped. “Sir, after Wren visits with her grandfather, I’d be happy to drive her home.”

  I chewed on my lower lip. “Are you sure? You still have math homework, and you need to clean up your paper.”

  “I’ll be fine, I promise.” Fuller nodded.

  My dad put his hand on Fuller’s shoulder. “Thank you very much. We’d really appreciate that.”

  We locked eyes. His were full of compassion and empathy. “Are you sure you don’t mind waiting out here for me?” I asked.

  Fuller shook his head. “Not at all.”

  My stomach twisted into a knot as I gave my dad a quick hug before heading across the waiting room. Grabbing a squirt of hand sanitizer, I pushed through the swinging doors and headed down the hall and toward Gramps.

  Chapter Twelve

  Fuller

  Moonlight streamed through the large leaves on the oak tree next to Wren’s driveway. As I put my car in park, I stole a glance at her in the passenger’s seat. She’d slid her shoes off and tucked her long legs underneath her chin. She pressed a balled-up tissue under her eyes, which were puffy from crying. Fighting the urge to reach out and pull her into my arms, I folded my hands in my lap. “You were really brave tonight, Wren.”