Libby in the Middle

by Gwyneth Rees

  When he came down again I was still sitting at the table. I was thinking how Tansy’s version of the story hadn’t included the part about Thecla being in the house with Michael that day. So much for Tansy’s dad telling her everything, I thought. ‘It’s not fair though,’ I said as he sat down with me again. ‘Aunt Thecla should have told them the real reason you went there! It’s not like you broke in just to steal that bat.’

  ‘She said she was afraid for Michael if his father found out he’d been with her all afternoon instead of studying for whatever A level he had the following day.’

  ‘She should still have tried to help you more,’ I insisted. ‘After all, you wouldn’t have got into so much trouble if you hadn’t been trying to help her.’

  ‘And myself, remember – to Murray’s cricket bat!’ he said with a little grin. ‘I was far from blameless, Libby. Though he honestly had told me I could have it. It just seemed like he’d forgotten to mention it to anyone else!’

  ‘Hey, is this the thing you haven’t forgiven Aunt Thecla for?’ I was remembering the bits of conversation I’d overheard between him and Mum. ‘Because it was really her fault you got caught inside Mr Godwin’s house and she didn’t stand up for you afterwards!’

  Dad gave me a strange sort of look then, almost as if he was fighting back some unexpected emotion that he didn’t want me to see. ‘You know, this may seem hard to believe but I was completely devoted to Thecla back then. I suppose, what with losing our mother when we were still young … I think I’d have done anything for her. Anyway, she said she hadn’t asked me to go inside the Godwins’ house to try and find her – and that she certainly hadn’t asked me to take that blasted bat! She said I had made my own bed so I would just have to lie in it!’ He gave a weary smile. ‘I guess she had a point, but …’

  ‘It hurt?’ I suggested.

  He nodded.

  I felt frustrated. ‘Listen, I know it was the dark ages and that you didn’t have mobiles and the internet and stuff … but Murray must have phoned home from India at some point. Couldn’t they have asked him about the bat?’

  ‘Ah well …’ Dad swallowed. ‘It was only a couple of weeks later that we got the news that he’d been killed in an accident.’

  ‘Oh …’ I’d momentarily forgotten that part of the story.

  Dad looked sad as he continued. ‘He was the other person I’d really looked up to as a boy. I guess I just … well, I stopped looking up to anyone and gave up seeing the point in anything for a while. It was an awful time … I was actually quite glad to be sent away …’

  ‘To boarding school?’ I murmured softly.

  He nodded. ‘My father found a boarding school that was meant to be good at handling academically able boys with difficult behaviour. He threatened to disown me if I got myself expelled from there before I’d completed my A levels.’

  ‘Oh, and he did disown you, didn’t he?’ I said. ‘So was that why?’

  Dad shook his head. ‘The school was very strict – most of the boys who went there needed very firm boundaries. But it was a small school and the headmaster took a great interest in all of us, and the teachers were decent enough so long as you toed the line. I behaved myself and worked hard and got good A levels. My father was pleased with me for once. He valued education very highly, you see.’ He sighed. ‘The big row came when I told him I didn’t intend to go to university like he wanted.’ He sighed again. ‘You know, it must be so easy for kids who actually want the same things that their parents want for them.

  ‘Anyway, when I refused to take up my place at Oxford, my father couldn’t deal with it. He made it perfectly clear I was a massive disappointment to him. He said he was ashamed to call me his son. Well, I guess I couldn’t deal with that … I told him I didn’t have to do what he said and that I didn’t need his money. He challenged me to see how I got on without it. That’s when he disowned me. We became completely estranged and we never spoke again! It’s something I suppose I should regret – and sometimes I do – but the truth is I’m sure the rest of my life has been a lot easier without him breathing down my neck and criticising everything I do.’ He looked at me almost apologetically. ‘But I don’t mean to burden you with all this stuff from the past, Libby. You’ve got your own life to live.’

  ‘It’s OK, Dad. I like hearing about the past,’ I said, feeling like I understood him so much better from this one conversation. And I have to say I also felt pretty proud that he was sharing all this with me.

  Chapter Twenty

  I don’t know why but there was something about Dad’s story that made me want to take action. I wanted to do what I knew was right instead of always listening to Bella.

  So I decided to go and talk to Sam.

  I waited for Dad and Grace to leave, then I set off to find Sam at the garage. I deliberately didn’t text him to say I was coming because I didn’t want him texting Bella to find out why. I knew she would try and stop me from speaking to him if she could.

  Before I left I went up to my bedroom to brush my hair, and while I was there I spotted Bella’s make-up bag on her bed. A bit of mascara and eyeliner might make me look older, which might make Sam take me more seriously, I thought. I briefly considered using Bella’s eyelash curlers as well but decided against it. I’d tried them before and pinched my eyelid painfully in the process, plus I really didn’t want to risk making my eyelashes look too clumpy.

  I don’t often wear make-up and I was quite pleased with the result.

  I arrived at the village garage to find Sam on the forecourt helping a stoutish grey-haired man, who I presumed was the owner.

  ‘Hi, Sam,’ I greeted him.

  He looked up, clearly surprised to see me. ‘Hi, Libby. Is everything OK?’

  ‘Yes. But listen, I need to speak to you really urgently about something. Have you got a minute?’

  Sam looked a bit worried as he asked his boss if it was OK to take a quick break.

  ‘Take your tea break now, if you like. You can bring me back a brew from the caff. Tell them I’ll pay at lunchtime.’

  ‘Sure, Bill.’ Sam turned back to me. ‘Come on then.’

  As he led me to the greasy spoon across the road I couldn’t help thinking that it wasn’t every day I got taken out to a café by a cute older boy. I sat down at a table – away from the window in case anyone we knew happened to pass by – while Sam went over to the counter to buy himself a drink. I couldn’t help wondering if any of the other people in the café actually thought he was my boyfriend.

  ‘You need building up,’ I told him as he came over to the table. He was quite a lot thinner than usual, despite the food my sister had been stealing for him.

  He grinned. ‘You sound like Bella.’

  ‘Well, it’s true.’ I started to worry then about whether I was doing the right thing asking him to return the £50 out of his wages. I didn’t want to leave him without enough money for food.

  ‘Your mum must be really worried about you,’ I said, stalling for time.

  ‘I’ve texted her. She knows I’m OK. Now what’s this about?’

  ‘Well … Bella doesn’t want me to tell you this but …’ I blurted out how she had taken Aunt Thecla’s money to give to him, and how Grace had been accused of stealing it. And how we really needed to put the money back as soon as possible.

  I have to admit that I hadn’t expected him to look so mortified when I told him about the stolen money. And I certainly hadn’t expected him to get so angry with Bella. ‘She never told me that money was your aunt’s!’

  ‘She was only doing it to help you,’ I said.

  ‘I don’t want that sort of help!’ He reached inside his jeans pocket and took out a battered wallet. ‘Here.’ He took out two twenty-pound notes and gave them to me. ‘I’ll borrow the rest from Bill. He’ll be paying me again tomorrow anyhow.’ His cheeks were flushed and even the tips of his ears had gone pink. Clearly this was a really big deal for him.

  ‘What are you
doing?’ I asked nervously as he started texting.

  ‘Telling Bella to meet me here later.’

  ‘Sam, she didn’t mean –’ I began, but before I could finish he was standing up, leaving his drink on the table and making an angry exit.

  I followed him out. ‘Sam!’ I called, running to catch him up, but he ignored me as he strode across the road to the garage.

  His boss was inside the workshop, eating a banana. ‘So where’s my tea?’ he asked.

  ‘Oh … sorry … I’ll go back and get it … but, Bill … I owe Libby here some money. Would it be OK if I got ten pound from my wages today?’

  Bill sighed. ‘Wait here.’

  ‘Sorry,’ I whispered to Sam as we waited in silence for Bill to return.

  ‘It’s not your fault,’ he grunted.

  Bill came back and handed him two ten-pound notes, shaking his head as Sam tried to give one of them back. ‘You’ll need some cash for yourself. Now get back to work. I’ll fetch my own tea.’

  I hurried home wondering when I would get the chance to plant the fifty pounds back in our aunt’s kitchen. I would have to be careful not to make it too obvious. If she found the money just after I’d visited she would know who had put it there.

  I checked my watch, trying to work out when Bella and Mum would be back from their shopping trip to Castle Westbury. They’d gone by bus and intended to go somewhere for lunch so I guessed they would be a while. Dad and Grace were hopefully still cycling.

  I wondered if Bella had seen Sam’s message yet and whether she’d texted him back. I was really dreading her reaction when she found out what I’d done.

  I got home to find Tansy waiting outside our front door, holding her phone. When she saw me she swiftly put it away. ‘There you are! I was just going to send you a text. I’ve got some really BIG news! You’re never going to believe this but … my dad has just gone out for lunch with your aunt!’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Dad says they’re meeting up purely as friends, but then he always says that whenever he asks someone out on a date.’

  ‘A date? Are you serious?’

  ‘Absolutely. You know, I think my mum’s right. I think Dad is still carrying a torch for your aunt!’

  I gaped at her, unable to think of anything to say. Was it possible that after all these years Aunt Thecla might actually find love? Clearly she had before. But that was so long ago and she was so much younger and prettier and so much … well … so much less like the person she was today.

  Tansy just grinned. ‘He didn’t deny it when I asked him, you know.’

  ‘Why? What did he say?’

  ‘That I’m as bad as Mum for jumping to conclusions! But he didn’t say it wasn’t a date!’

  I grinned. Then an idea occurred to me. ‘Do you know where they’re having lunch?’

  ‘The pub at the far end of the village. Why? Do you think we should go and spy on them?’

  ‘Of course not! There’s something I need to do while my aunt’s out of the way, that’s all.’

  ‘What is it? Maybe I can help!’

  I told her I needed to sneak into my aunt’s house but I didn’t say why.

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ she offered. ‘You’ll need someone to keep watch in case she comes back early. She might do if she has a row with my dad!’

  That seemed like a reasonable possibility but it wasn’t the main reason I agreed to let Tansy come. I’d suddenly remembered the painting in Aunt Thecla’s art room that I really wanted to show her.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  ‘You can stand here and keep watch at the window,’ I told Tansy after I’d let us into Aunt Thecla’s house with the spare keys. ‘I won’t be long.’ I left her standing by the net curtains in the front room while I hurried to the kitchen.

  Placing the notes in a spot that my aunt might actually believe she’d overlooked proved harder than I’d first thought. I knew she’d already searched her kitchen for the missing money. I knew she’d taken everything off the kitchen shelf where the tin was kept and even checked behind the radiator under the shelf in case the money had fallen and got stuck there.

  After I’d rejected every possible location, I spotted her wellington boots by the back door. OK, so she might have already looked there too, but I couldn’t think of anywhere better and I was running out of time.

  I found Tansy in the hall, peering at one of my aunt’s paintings. ‘Is that depressing or what?’ she said.

  ‘I know,’ I murmured.

  The painting depicted a small figure crouched on the ground outside a church. The lower two-thirds of the canvas were mostly grey and black while the upper third had a rainbow in the sky. Aunt Thecla had told me the painting represented hope.

  ‘Yikes!’ Tansy exclaimed as she spotted a larger painting of a scary-looking orange cat on the stairs.

  I grinned. ‘That’s the orange version of the purple one she painted for us. Only ours has more evil eyes. Mum and Dad are pretending it got lost in the move.’

  ‘So where’s this painting you think might be my dad?’ Tansy asked.

  I checked my watch. ‘We’ll have to be quick.’

  I led her up to the attic room, where the door was unlocked. ‘This is Aunt Thecla’s art studio,’ I said. As I took her inside I felt a bit guilty but I didn’t let that stop me.

  Seconds later Tansy was laughing at the pictures of all the nudes. ‘Imagine taking off your clothes and having to sit there with all those people staring at you. Would that be embarrassing or what? And why would anyone want to paint a bunch of naked people anyway?’

  ‘It’s not that big a deal,’ I said. ‘Loads of famous artists painted nudes. Rubens did and … and … well, there are loads of others.’

  Tansy had just spotted the painting of the young man in the field of bluebells. ‘OMG! Is this the one?’ She let out a half-embarrassed, half-delighted snigger as she went to look more closely at the painting. ‘The hair certainly looks the same – not sure about the rest – but I mean, who else can it be?’ She was fishing out her phone to take a photograph.

  ‘Hey, you can’t do that!’ I protested.

  ‘I won’t show it to anyone,’ she insisted with a grin. ‘Except my mum. I’ll see if she thinks it’s Dad. Did I tell you she’s home from Africa now? She’s coming for a visit at the weekend.’

  ‘Tansy, you can’t show her! If my aunt finds out –’

  ‘She won’t find out! Come on, Libby … you want to know for sure if it’s my dad, don’t you?’

  ‘But, Tansy …’ I followed behind her down the stairs, feeling a bit sick and wondering how I could ever have thought showing her that picture was a good idea.

  ‘Hi, Bella,’ I said nervously as she walked into the kitchen.

  It was early afternoon and for the last hour I’d been alone in our house – something that doesn’t happen very often. When Mum and Bella had arrived back from their shopping trip they’d both headed out again almost immediately. Mum had gone to the surgery and Bella had gone to the garage to see Sam. Dad and Grace were still out too.

  ‘How dare you tell Sam about that money!’ Bella burst out angrily the second she saw me. ‘Now he thinks I’m a thief, thanks to you!’

  ‘Oh, Bella, I didn’t mean to –’

  ‘Yes you did! Anyway, thanks to you we’re finished now!’

  ‘Finished?’

  ‘That’s right! It’s probably just what you wanted, isn’t it? You’ve always been jealous of me! Just because you’re such a geek that no boy would ever look twice at you!’ Her voice trembled and she turned and ran up the stairs.

  At that point her nasty words didn’t sink in because I was so shocked by her news. I’d never dreamed Sam would dump her because of what I’d told him.

  ‘How come you’ve split up? What happened?’ I pursued her upstairs, feeling a bit sick.

  ‘Didn’t you hear what I just said? Doesn’t it even bother you that you’re so unpopular?’ she spat out.r />
  ‘Bella –’

  ‘Sam calls you a lump! Did you know that? He always asks me, “How’s Gracie and how’s the Lump?”’

  I frowned. This is what she always does when she gets mad at me. She yells and I stay calm, which makes her even more furious, so she goads me and goads me until she gets me to totally lose it too.

  ‘You’re making that up,’ I said warily. ‘Sam wouldn’t say that.’

  ‘How do you know what Sam would say? You don’t even know him! You don’t know any boys! The way you act you probably never will!’

  I know the best thing is to walk away and let Bella calm down when she gets like this. I don’t know why I wasn’t doing that today – why I couldn’t seem to let it go.

  ‘I know Sam wouldn’t say that because he’s not mean like you!’ I told her, sounding a lot more confident than I actually felt.

  She laughed scornfully. ‘I know why you’re defending him! You fancy him, don’t you? You’ve probably been making up some pathetic fantasy about him inside your head, haven’t you?’

  ‘Don’t be stupid!’

  ‘Then why is your face so red? I bet that’s why you went running to him. You want to cause trouble because you’re jealous that he’s my boyfriend!’

  ‘That’s not true!’ I snapped hotly.

  ‘Don’t lie,’ she said with a sneer, looking triumphant now that she knew she’d got to me. ‘It’s such a cliché! Little sister fancies her big sister’s boyfriend and hopes that one day he’ll notice her. Do you really think he’d ever look at a pathetic kid like you? He thinks you’re really boring and plain and immature … oh, and fat!’

  That onslaught was too much. I felt myself struggling not to cry at the thought of the two of them saying those things about me behind my back.

  ‘I HATE YOU, BELLA!’ I exploded.

  ‘Well, I wish you weren’t my sister!’ she shouted back at me.

  And I ran downstairs not even thinking about where I was going – all I wanted was to get away from her.

  As I walked around aimlessly outside, I tried to remember if Bella had ever said anything that nasty to me before. We’d had plenty of rows over the years and we’d told each other countless times that we hated each other. This time felt like the worst though. This one felt really serious.