Gordon nodded enthusiastically like he knew exactly what I was thinking. I sighed and lay back onto the ground, arms crossed underneath my head like a pillow. A very uncomfortable one at that. I think I missed pillows just as much as water. I also missed my bed with the cool satin sheets and I couldn’t wait to get back to them. My skin was longing for their cool smoothness as I felt the ash and stone glide under my skin. Gordon lay down beside me, head propped in his hand. His eyes glittered in the firelight as I looked at him and he was looking down at me like I was the last person on earth and he was so happy to see me. I wasn’t the last person on earth as far as I knew, but I was definitely one of the few down here.
He looked down toward the ground and his brow furrowed as if an unpleasant or unexpected thought had crossed his mind. He slightly lifted my top from my belly and placed his hand just below my belly button. I was confused by this action, and then even more confused when he smiled and looked at me. Even more confusion flooded me. What in the world was he smiling about? He looked like a damn jackal. I was about to tell him to stop doing an impersonation of Julia Roberts so perfectly because it was kind of scaring me a little.
His smile was so infectious I couldn’t keep one from spreading over my lips. It felt odd to smile here, but it was too hard not to when he was grinning like the Cheshire cat.
“What in the world are you smiling about?” No one smiled like that for no reason here. Plus, this came out of nowhere like there was something he had just figured out and it wasn’t bad news either. From the look on his face it was probably some of the best new he would ever know. For a moment he just sat there and stared at me, smile plastered on his face. It was like someone had surgically fixed his mouth that way. I adjusted my arm so I could better look at him.
“Gordon? What is it you’re so damn happy about?”
His eyes never left my face as he asked, “You don’t know?” Why in the world did people always answer my questions with another question? I was beginning to get tired of it.
“Don’t know what?” I was so confused. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. I wanted a piece of the happy pie too. Or was that some happy pills? Either way, I wanted some of it and I wouldn’t leave him alone until he was willing to share.
He looked down, rubbed his hand slightly across my belly. He took a deep breath in.
“Well, I’m not exactly sure how to say it.”
“How to say what, Gordon?” I was now propped up on my elbows, and he hadn’t moved an inch. He eyes still bore into mine, and I was trying so hard to figure out what he was trying to tell him by the look in his eyes and the emotions pouring from him. “I may be a little slow right now so forgive me. I’m just not catching on.”
“Well,” he cleared his throat, “it seems like you’re pregnant. I can sense it.”
I sat straight up and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He had sensed it because he never once pulled his attention from me, but why hadn’t I? I guessed I was too preoccupied by everything else and trying to be on the lookout for another living Executioner that I wasn’t even paying attention to my own body. I was ignoring everything it was trying to tell me. How could I be so stupid as to ignore mine and Gordon’s child growing inside of me? It seemed I wasn’t self-absorbed enough if I could ignore that altogether. I was always focused on everyone else, but it looked like I needed to be focusing more on myself lately.
As I sat there in complete and utter amazement at Gordon’s revelation, I pulled the tendrils of my own consciousness back towards myself and focused them towards my own insides. As I sent them down towards my pelvic region, the closer I got to it, the more I could feel it. I focused it around the fetus who I could feel inside of me. Its own consciousness had already formed. I could sense it, just like Gordon could. Most women would run out and get a test to take, but this was the only proof I needed. No test was going to tell me anything different.
My hand flew directly to my lower abdomen where his hand still was, and my eyes flew back up to Gordon’s dark orbs. They were so beautiful as they sparkled with fire and unshed tears of happiness. I began to feel those same tears well up I mine, and they threatened to spill over if I didn’t do what I could to hold them back. Why would I, though? Besides finding Gordon in this terror of a place, this was the happiest I had felt in such a long time. I knew I had to have the dumbest smile plastered on my face, and my mind was still trying to switch from the terror of my own nightmare to the joy of this moment. I almost couldn’t fathom it, and I was struggling to take it in. Yet my eyes couldn’t leave his beaming face. I was betting we both looked like complete idiots as we sat there smiling at each other, our hands both clasped over the place where our child was growing inside of me. I knew to my very core that this was it. This was where we were meant to be at this moment. One question was now burning in my mind.
“When?” I needed to know this, even if it was just an estimate of time. Was it before both of our deaths? If so, how was I still with child? It made no sense to me. It had to have happened down here in Hell. Now I was only hoping that our child would survive the journey through the portal back to the surface, which I was pretty sure it would. I still couldn’t tell the gender even as we sat there and I let my mind roll around our baby. If only I knew so I could call the baby a he or she instead of an it. It felt wrong.
“I’m not sure. Maybe there, maybe here. There’s no telling. I don’t have an ultrasound machine down here,” he said with a very large grin across his face.
That would be the only way to tell, so as soon as we were out of here I was headed to a good doctor or mid-wife. Lilith could wait a day. Just long enough for me to know which moment of passion we conceived our child in, and then Lilith would know the rage I had towards her. Gordon leaned over and placed his lips on mine. It was an unexpected surprise, but a pleasant one nonetheless, and I didn’t want to pull away. I could taste the salt of his tears on his lips, and I ended the kiss only to wipe a few of them away. A wide grin has spread across his lips again, and I couldn’t help but smile back. I was so happy in that moment that I didn’t think anything could ruin it. Not even Lilith’s looming presence could ruin this. We were sitting in Hell next to a roaring fire and surrounded by darkness that only seemed to be growing, but we were so blissfully happy that nothing could dampen it. Except the realization that I was pregnant in Hell.
We were even unaware of Escara’s return. I could only tell she was back because of the disgust running off of her skin and down like fog towards us. I could almost taste it in the air, and it was bitter and made me almost want to wrinkle my nose. Both of our gazes turned to her and I knew that she just wanted to slap the goofy grins off of our faces, but underneath the delight there was terror, at least on my part. I was so scared that something would happen and that I would make it out, but our baby wouldn’t. I had to hide this from Gordon. I couldn’t let him see how terrified I was that the unity of our passions wouldn’t survive past this, and I would turn into a shell of a person because our child was gone. I could only hope that my worst fear at this point wouldn’t come true, and look how quickly someone’s fears can change. I was scared at first that Gordon wouldn’t make it back with me, but now I was worried that not only he wouldn’t make it, but that our child wouldn’t as well and I would be left to live and face Lilith alone.
We had breathed new life into the deadliest of situations it seemed, and the only person who was annoyed by this so far was Escara. Again, impatience was so funny looking on her. Exasperation and annoyance. It made me smile even wider to see her standing there watching us like we were two fools, and I almost started laughing. I was willing to admit to being a fool if that was what it took to get her to stop tapping her foot on the ground like that. I looked up at her and decided that we could still look like two happy idiots and walk at the same time. The closer we got to the edge of the black forest the better, and I was growing impatient myself to be back up on the surface with the rest of the living.
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“What are you two so happy about?” she asked. “We’re only about halfway to the pit.” If she was right then there was yet another thing to be pleased about. We were much closer to our destination then when we had started. Wow, hadn’t I turned into an optimist?
I stood abruptly, making myself a little dizzy. Gordon stood and put his hand on my back to steady me. The world spun for a minute, and I had to take a deep breath in to secure myself.
“Escara, that’s actually good news,” I stated.
She crossed her arms across her chest and an even more serious look crossed her face. She looked more annoyed with me right at that moment then she ever had before, and I couldn’t help but let a small giggle escape. I was in too good of a mood for her to ruin it. It was like I was drunk from the good news.
“And, Executioner how is that good news? We still haven’t made it.”
“Very true, but we are closer than we were before. That makes it good news.”
I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her rigid shoulders. She apparently had never experienced a hug before, and her body stiffened as soon as I touched her. If she was going to be walking around Hell with a human, well nearly human, she would have to loosen up without being disgusted by that humanity.
Life was about humanity, and she was trying to help me save it, was she not? That was the way it looked to an outsider. Lilith was trying to drain all life from the world, and here I was, growing another life. I would do whatever I could not to let that light go out.
As I backed away from Escara, I felt renewed and Gordon’s hand was resting on the small of my back once again. We had found our light in the darkness, and we wouldn’t let it go out no matter who tried to blow it out.
Chapter 24: Onward
My mind was still reeling from the news and I could feel a mixture of anxiety and excitement tangling in my belly. There was no way around it. I was scared too. My number one concern about this was whether our child could survive the journey through the portal. I placed a hand on my stomach as we continued to move towards our destination, and I felt in my heart that if it was as stubborn as I was it definitely would make it. I knew, even if it wasn’t in the cards that I would hold onto it as tight as I could and fight as hard as I could. There was no doubt about that, and I knew Gordon would too. He would fight just as hard, if not harder than he would for me.
Now we were only about twenty yards from the tree line of the black forest, and all of my muscles tensed in preparation. A deep breath was already working into my lungs before I had even realized I was taking one, and I held it as I looked up at the tops of the trees. I was still too intimidated to go behind the wall of trees because of my first experience in there. It seemed like the beast was even keener to come out and play when in the forest, and I was trying too hard to keep it in.
I let the breath out, which I had forgotten I was holding, and felt my lungs deflate like balloons. I was so anxious about entering the forest that I could feel slight tremors in my hands that were quickly spreading into the rest of my body. All I needed was to walk into the trees and creatures see me as a shaking, wobbly mess and laugh. I was the Executioner. I wasn’t supposed to fear anything, right? I decided that’s what I would keep telling myself. I would repeat it in my mind like a mantra. I’m not scared of anything. I’m not scared of anything.
The truth was I wasn’t scared, I was absolutely terrified and it had to show. I was certain Gordon could see the fear in my eyes and the way I was eyeing that ominous line of trees. They were just as black as I remembered and looked just like charcoal. I could still feel the grittiness of it in my hands like I was still holding that branch when I ran for my life. I sighed, trying to relieve some of the tension in my arms and back. It didn’t work and I backed away a step and stretched my arms out to the sides and rotated my shoulders and neck. Yeah, that didn’t help either.
I could see Gordon eyeing me suspiciously and I chose to ignore it. His concern wasn’t going to help the situation at all and either way I had to go in there to get to the pit and back to the surface. There was no way around it. All three of us were going to make it back. Gordon, me, and our growing child.
Once we started moving again I had my tendrils branched out as far as I could in all directions. There was still nothing hinting at another Executioner in our midst, and I was beginning to get frustrated by it. I was really hoping to find them alive so we would have yet another soldier to add to the army of the light. Yeah, that’s what I would call it for now. Having another pair of hands to fight the darkness surrounding us would be more than helpful at this point. It was going to be hard enough trying to fight against Lilith with morning sickness. I hadn’t had any of that kind of stuff yet, but I had a feeling that once I got back to the surface all of that would change and it would change fast.
I stalked my way up to the line of trees slowly, Gordon and Escara fallowing suit. It was like they were watching for my cues so they would know what to do. Gordon also seemed more jumpy since finding out the news. He was acting like something could jump out at any minute and be gunning straight for me with an eye to kill. Well, I wasn’t going down that easy and now that I knew I could absorb the energies of anything down here into myself it would be much easier to stay alive. I stopped right at the entrance of the forest, and stared into the darkness.
My whole body was still shaking and the stiffness in my back and neck were beginning to become painful. Could I do this? I had to force myself. I wasn’t going to have my baby here while Lilith was up on the surface reeking absolute chaos. I was going to go through that portal, get out of here, and take Lilith down as quickly as I could. That was my plan. I could feel Gordon at my back all of a sudden, and I almost jumped in response. Yes, I was a little on the jumpy side, but could anyone really blame me? I had to take another breath in and I let it out as slowly as I could without getting dizzy. I was not going to pass out. I would repeat that to myself as long as it worked.
Gordon was then beside me and when I turned to him he weakly smiled I mirrored his expression while trying to hide my fear. I could feel my body resisting my attempts to move forward no matter how much my brain kept telling my legs to move. I looked back into the darkness beyond and the tension and shaking got worse. I almost couldn’t tell if the tension was from the shaking, or if the shaking was from the tension. I didn’t really think it mattered at the moment anyways.
With all the tendrils spread out I could feel the creatures beyond where we stood and this didn’t help matters. Gordon reached over and took my hand in his and his touch almost completely stopped the tremors that wracked my entire body. I couldn’t help but look at him once more. As soon as I turned my head I saw he had never turned away from me. He was still staring at me like nothing else existed and it made me feel extremely lucky. Looking deep into his dark eyes I knew I could do this. I could take that first step into the black and torched forest and take that step closer to home.
I lifted my foot, ready to leave the safety of the tree line, and almost hesitated. What I heard next made me want to go running for the hills. Growling erupted and was so close that I knew we were no longer safe in a place I had used for security for so long. I spun around in time to see Escara throw all of her strength into a punch that the creature blocked easily. The creature then launched its own attack. It grabbed her arm and punched her so hard she went flying. As she flew through the air I watched as she turned into a crow and flew into the distance. She turned back towards us, cawing into the darkness.
I had to act fast to save us, and I let the beast roll through me, taking no prisoners. While I was worried about what the beast could do to the baby, I couldn’t stand by and do nothing. Everything lit up and I could feel the heat spreading through every inch of me, and I dropped Gordon’s hand for fear of burning him. I was seeing red. It was like a bull was let out of its pen, and I ran towards the creature like there was no tomorrow. I could hear Gordon call out to me, but all of my instinct was yell
ing at me to fight until I couldn’t fight any longer.
The monster in my vision was shaped a lot like Escara, but had two long and curving horns and patches of fur along the fore arms and legs. Her long hair reached past her breasts, almost reaching what I could best describe as a belly button. Her eyes were a deep violet that I had never once seen before in any creature I had come across before. It was so striking I was almost distracted, but shook my head to try to focus on protecting us as best as I could. Gordon got to her before I could and Escara was flying around them, cawing and pecking at the demon before us. He was all fists and fury with comet-like tails of icy smoke rolling off of him as I watched. The demon lashed out and knocked him to the ground. I had to do something before it was too late.
I focused the flames and heat into my fist and launched my attack. I caught her in the cheekbone with a flaming ball of flesh and bone, and didn’t let up. The beast had completely taken over and the only reason I was there was to follow through with the actions the beast wanted to take. The creature lashed out and had managed to catch me in the same shoulder that was already injured. It tore open and pain seared through my shoulder and into my collar bone and I couldn’t help but cry out in pain. This filled me with a renewed rage that I was going to unleash with everything I had in me, the beast included. I was going to use the beast to my full advantage this time and not hold back.
I could feel blood pouring from my wound but all that did was spur me on. I was more than ready to take this thing down. I was like a bucking bronco now, and I was about to throw this rider off and I was going to do it quickly. As soon as she was on the ground I would gore and stomp until there was nothing left. I wasn’t going to let anything stand in my way of getting home. I threw my knee into her stomach and she lurched over, folding around her abdomen like she was trying to protect the area. This wasn’t going to help her. I was too hot with fury, and the beast was urging me on. There was a slight chill in the air and there was only one source in proximity. Gordon wanted to be helpful, but he had said before that his own power reminded him of the darkness within him. I felt him pull back, but didn’t take the chance to look at him.
Follow the Screams (The Executioner Trilogy Book 2) Page 13
