Aliens Abroad

by Gini Koch

Her Poof appeared in her lap and mewed at her in a hurt tone. Jamie picked the Poof up and kissed it. “I’m sorry, Mous-Mous. I know you love me best of all.” She cuddled the Poof to her chest and it seemed appeased.

  Looked to my left. Sure enough, Bruno and his mate, Lola, were both on the couch. Lola got into my lap and settled in on and between me and Charlie. Bruno snuggled up next to me, then Ginger trotted in, leapt gracefully onto the back of the couch, and settled on it behind me and Jeff. Wilbur followed her and the chocho settled at our feet with a happy honk.

  This meant it was now time for the rest of the Poofs and the rabbits. Peter and SuperBun hopped over while the rest of our Poofs all appeared and snuggled into their owners’ necks. SuperBun and Peter both jumped up into my lap. Several other rabbits hopped in and they also jumped up and settled into laps. Extra Poofs and rabbits lined the back of the couch or were on the floor cuddled next to Wilbur, who seemed to love having new friends.

  Risked a look at Jeff. He looked like he was warring between laughing his head off and asking for a divorce.

  He laughed and winked at me. “Never the latter, baby. Ever. Now, who wants the story?”

  “I do!” all three kids said in unison.

  Ginger and the Poofs purred, Wilbur honked, the rabbits wiggled their noses, and Bruno and Lola cawed quietly. “That’s a big yes from everyone, Jeff. Carry on. I’ll add in as necessary.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you will. Just before Mommy and I got married, we had a chance to go to Alpha Four to see relatives we hadn’t even met yet. Your uncle Alexander and great-aunt Victoria.”

  Jeff shared an extremely sanitized version of the events during the end of Operation Invasion. But his voice was soothing and the story was sweet. He described Alpha Four—far better than I would have, and with a lot more detail.

  “I wanted to go there,” Lizzie said, trying not to yawn. “I wanted to visit King Alexander.”

  “We’ll get there,” I said. “I promise.”

  “I don’t care where we go,” Jamie said. She yawned, then went on. “I just want us to all be together when we go. I’m sorry the puppies and kitties didn’t get to come with us.”

  “They’re happy taking care of Papa Sol, Nana Angela, Grandpa Alfred, and Grandma Lucinda. And anyone else who had to stay home.” Knew that the Poofs and Peregrines had given the Animal Orders for such, so I wasn’t lying. After me and Jamie, I was pretty sure that Dad was all the animals’ favorite, since his idea of poor treatment for a pet was that said pet might not have the best dog or cat bed available in every room. So those left at home were being spoiled rotten, and that included any ocellars, chochos, Poofs, and Peregrines, as well as the dogs and cats.

  “That’s right,” Jeff said. “They have their jobs to do, just like we do. And speaking of jobs, we had a job to do on Alpha Four before we went home to Earth. We got to install Uncle Alexander as the King.”

  He went on to describe a ceremony that had never happened, though I imagined it was what normally happened. Charlie yawned so widely I wondered if he had Ezkot blood in him. Then he leaned his head against Jeff’s chest, his Poof still cuddled into his neck, his little hands wrapped gently around the bunny in his lap, Lola’s head resting against his side, and fell fast asleep.

  Jeff smiled and kept on talking, telling the girls about our wedding. They were interested and fighting to stay awake, but Jeff was definitely lulling them to sleep, as were the rhythmic sounds of animal snoozing and the warmth of all the fur and feathers around us.

  Lizzie leaned her head against Jeff’s shoulders, murmured that she was paying attention but needed to close her eyes, and was out.

  Jamie heaved a sigh. “Mommy?” she asked as Jeff paused.

  “Yes?”

  “Will you go to sleep if you’re the last one awake?”

  This was a good question, because when we were in what I considered a danger situation and everyone else was asleep, no matter how tired I was, I woke up and stayed awake. And Jamie knew it.

  “I think so.”

  Jeff kissed the top of Jamie’s head. “Don’t worry about it, Jamie-Kat. I promise Mommy’s going to fall asleep right after you.”

  “O-kay,” she said with another big yawn. She leaned against Jeff’s chest. “Tell me again about how Mommy ran to meet you, Daddy.”

  He chuckled. “It was the best wedding ever.” Jamie was asleep before the last word. Jeff kissed my forehead. “You’re next, baby.”

  Decided that there were times to obey my husband, and this was one of them. Leaned my head back against his shoulder and listened to Ginger’s purring. “This is nice.”

  “It is,” Jeff said softly. “My family. You sleep, baby. You’ve earned it.”

  My turn to yawn. “You need to sleep, too.”

  He kissed my forehead again. “In a while.” He said something else, but I only heard sounds, not words, as I followed the kids’ lead and fell asleep.

  Wasn’t sure if I was instantly dreaming or not, but somewhere after I zonked out I heard someone calling my name. Wasn’t coming from anywhere in particular that I could tell and, as per usual, I couldn’t recognize the voice.

  ACE? ACE is that you? No answer. Considered options. Algar never bothered with my dreams. I mean, maybe he helped facilitate them, but he didn’t bother to show up to add to the weird, for which I was most appreciative.

  Naomi? Asked probably far more hopefully than was good for me. Nada again. Though now was pretty sure that I could see things around me. Looked like what we’d seen out the window, meaning a lot of blur and not much else. Oh well, I’d had worse, and weirder, dream locales.

  Considered who else liked to hang out and chat with me in my sleep. Michael? Fuzzball? Gladys? A big fat nothing.

  Oh, duh. Maybe this was the DreamScape. Ixtha?

  Less than nothing. Was stumped for a moment. Who the heck else could this be?

  My tired brain nudged and I heaved a sleep sigh. Sadly, by process of elimination and the reality of how my luck went, had a really good guess as to who I needed to be asking for. Just hoped this dream would be odor free.

  CHAPTER 51

  “MEPHS?”

  “Always nice to be thought of. Dead last, but at least thought of.”

  Sniffed. Happily, no Smell-O-Rama happening. So, I had that going for me, which was nice. “You’re the fugly of my dreams, if that helps any.” Well, nightmares were dreams, right?

  “It does, somewhat.” He came into view, sitting next to me. Hadn’t realized I was sitting until just now, so that was interesting. Just me and a giant red monster faun with claws for fingers and curling horns and, of course, batwings. Hellboy was a supermodel compared to Mephistopheles.

  “So, why are we just hangin’ out in the middle of nowhere? Are you actually here to be helpful? Or is it just that the cosmos never wants me to forget about Operation Fugly? As if I ever could.”

  “I’m choosing to ignore the likely insults. I’m the most helpful of those who visit you in your sleep, if you’d care to recall.”

  “This is true. So, I’ve gotten more of the Mephistopheles Biography. I’d make a comment about what a jerk you were, but having had the whole story of how the Superiors came to be, I don’t really want to and I’m sure you know.”

  “I do. Mistakes were made. Mistakes are always made.”

  “Are we making mistakes right now?”

  “No. The preservation of the galaxy is vital. When I chose to destroy my solar system, I did so because I knew my race would survive and begin again. I’d thought that my followers would find me and we would create our new world.”

  “You were booking along with that plan just fine until I showed up, I guess.”

  “True enough. However, death—the true death that I experienced due to you—is a great teacher.”

  “So, seriously, death is not the e
nd? It’s really the beginning like we’ve been told?”

  “It depends on the individual. For me, death means I have to watch what I created. Until the galaxy is destroyed or the damage I caused is fixed.”

  Pondered this. “So, why are you helping me, then? I’d kind of think you would be pro Operation Good-bye Milky Way.”

  “No. Death is a great . . . clarifier. I can see what went wrong, the great mistakes I made. The mistakes made before I was even born.”

  “Were you born or were you created?”

  “Born.” He tapped my nose gently with his foreclaw. “Just like you.” His expression was fond and, for him, kindly, and he looked like a super strange version of Santa. There was a lot of that going around.

  “Our relationship is weird.”

  He laughed. “It is. You are special to me.”

  “I killed you, if you want to recall.”

  “You did, with help from your mother and friends. But mostly you. However, to be bested by a worthy adversary is a good death. You will always matter to me because of that.”

  “The old saying that having a good enemy is as important as having someone to love?”

  “Yes. It’s true. You are without an enemy on this journey.”

  “Seriously? I feel like everything’s against us.”

  “Everything is. But ‘everything’ is not a person, an individual. You cannot fight ‘everything.’”

  “Um, so . . . what are we supposed to do, then?”

  “Continue to right my wrongs.”

  “Hold up there. You’re saying that my whole job in life is to fix the mess you made?”

  Mephistopheles patted my hand. “Isn’t it?” he asked gently.

  Did some more pondering. “I guess it kind of feels that way. But you were created, in that sense, by the Z’porrah. Shouldn’t I be trying to right their wrongs, too?”

  “That falls to another.”

  “John Wruck?”

  Mephistopheles smiled. As always, it was gross, scary, and kind of sweet. The description of our relationship in a nutshell. “You are insightful.”

  “Dude, it was an easy guess. But there’s more going on.”

  “There always is.”

  “What’s the situation with Ixtha and her people?”

  “As grave as you understand it to be. The survival of her solar system is vital to this galaxy.”

  “Why is the galaxy in so much danger right now? And please don’t give me some flip reply. I’m asking because it just seems too coincidental that we have all these bad things going on at once.”

  “As your good friend says, don’t believe too much in coincidence.”

  “Chuckie says they’re rarer than a camera-shy Kardashian, but that’s beside the point. Can I get a little less obscurity and a little more clarity?”

  Mephistopheles heaved a sigh. “I can answer, because this particular visit is under the protection of more than one entity, so I can break the obscurity rules. Just a bit.”

  “Wow. That’s both cool and weird. And cooler and weirder that it’s you who gets the extra chatting protection.”

  “You and I are perceived to be the greatest of enemies by . . . some. That I have a deep fondness for you, and you for me, even if you choose to pretend that you don’t, is beyond their understanding. The entities helping me speak to you, however, understand and are using this weakness to all of our advantage.”

  “Go team.”

  “Truly. And it is a team effort. Never think that it is not. But to answer your question, these events are not accidental and they are not random. They are a concerted effort to cause this galaxy to, essentially, self-destruct.”

  “Why? And who’s behind it? Because what you just said sure sounds like we have an enemy.”

  “Oh, there is an enemy. Only it is not your enemy. This enemy has no hatred for you, or for any life in this galaxy. This enemy has a job to do, however, and plans to do it, in any way necessary. Sadly, the current way is to create galaxy-ending havoc and see what happens.”

  He didn’t have to say more. I knew what was going on now. But it would help to be sure. “If I played the Counting Crows’ version of “Friend of the Devil,” would that fit this situation?” The song was about an outlaw on the run and how the Devil was always double-crossing him, originally written by The Grateful Dead. There were a lot of versions of it, but the Crows’ was my favorite.

  Mephs laughed. “Yes. My time is almost up. Is there anything else you wish to know?”

  “How do we get back to where Wheatles Kreaving and his ship are? There’s a solar system in danger of exploding and we need to help them. Our AI is being affected by whichever Powers That Be are currently having fun with us, and I can’t let all those people die without trying to save them. They don’t have a crazy leader—they were all just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

  “I cannot tell you how to get back there, and I’m sure you can guess why.”

  Sighed. “Because it’s your fault and so you have to be more obscure.”

  “Yes. However, I can tell you this—what went into their sun is a living thing. You must destroy that living thing in order to save the sun and, therefore, the solar system and all the life within it.”

  “And the galaxy, right? I just have to figure that if this system goes, we’re back to chain reaction time.”

  “Of course,” Mephs said, as if this was obvious which, for my life, it was. “Just remember—every leader, good or bad, has those working closely with him or her, and some of those can be even better than that leader. Or worse.”

  “Um . . . you mean like Jeff? Or Hitler? Or both?”

  “You’ll figure it out—I have faith in you. Remember that, too. Even when you have lost faith in yourself, I will always have faith in you.” Then he kissed the top of my head and disappeared.

  CHAPTER 52

  WOKE UP TO SOMEONE kissing the top of my head. Sniffed. Didn’t smell like horrible fugly, so either I was actually still asleep or I didn’t have Mephistopheles snuggled next to me.

  Cracked an eyelid. Thankfully, what I saw was a sea of fur with some feathers tossed in. Said sea appeared to be snoring in individual ways.

  “Mmph?” Wasn’t my most coherent sound, but it was all I could manage.

  “Sorry, baby,” Jeff said softly. “I’m trying not to wake the kids. But I’d like to get them into bed if we can.”

  “Your butt’s gone to sleep?”

  He chuckled. “Possibly.”

  The way we were hooked into each other meant that we had some challenges. Fortunately, Bruno and Lola woke up and assisted, mostly by getting off of me and Charlie so I could move.

  Was able to use hyperspeed to get me and our son, his Poof, and what I knew was now officially his rabbit off of the couch. All three kids were in one big bedroom. Wasn’t sure but had a feeling that Algar was doing some room rearrangements. Then again, I hadn’t looked at Drax’s plans for crew and passenger quarters and it wasn’t like I’d gone into every one of the living quarters, so maybe this was just standard in a family suite.

  Tucked Charlie into bed and kissed his forehead as his Poof—which he’d named Mine, though the rest of us called it Miney—and bunny snuggled back into his neck and tummy, respectively, and Lola took the foot of the bed. Hoped Charlie would come up with a better name for his rabbit, though I didn’t count on it—his nickname for Wilbur was also Mine. Frankly, had a feeling that Charlie thought naming his pets Mine to be very funny. Chuckie felt Charlie had my sense of humor. Wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, but chose to roll with it.

  Decided not to try to get any of the kids out of their robes because it was likely to wake them up. It was cool enough in the rooms that I didn’t feel they’d be uncomfortable. And, similar to the setup at every A-C Base, there were low nightlights in
the room, so that no one would get lost getting to the bathroom or into our room in case of bad dreams.

  Speaking of Wilbur, the chocho padded in and settled down right next to Charlie’s bed, since Charlie was, in Wilbur’s chocho mind, his very special human to protect at all possible times. I was good with Wilbur’s dedication to the cause. Wilbur thought it was great that Charlie loved him enough to give him the special Mine nickname, too.

  Gave all the animals with Charlie pets, then trotted back out and took Jamie. Mous-Mous and Peter both woke up and did me a solid by heading to her bed without my assistance. Many of the unattached Poofs and rabbits followed them.

  Tucked Jamie in as Bruno settled at the foot of her bed and the other animals got comfy around her, while Jeff carried Lizzie to her bed. Lizzie scored Ginger at the foot of her bed, along with her Poof, Fofo, and several rabbits settled around her head, including SuperBun. The remaining unattached Poofs and rabbits hopped up onto the bed, some snuggling right next to Ginger, too, rabbits in particular. Ginger and Bruno were basically heroes to the rabbits, and Ginger found this hero worship totally acceptable.

  Kissed both girls on their foreheads, petted all the rest of the animals, including our Poofs, who were apparently going On Duty with the kids. Poofikins was with Lizzie, Harlie with Jamie, and Murphy had Charlie. These three Poofs were all at the head of each bed, and clearly on watch. Worked for me.

  Everyone else settled in, Jeff and I went to our bedroom and closed the door. “I think we have enough animals to ensure that if something happens, we’ll hear about it fast,” Jeff said.

  “Truly.” Yawned widely. Considered telling Jeff about my dream, but I rarely shared them with him, mostly because they were usually personal and always weird. Didn’t feel like trying to explain why I dreamed about Mephistopheles a lot, in no small part because I didn’t want anyone to suggest that Tito find a really good mental health professional for me to visit on a regular basis. My crazy worked for me and I was keeping it.

  Jeff and I took off our robes and got into bed. We lay there for a couple of minutes. Then a pertinent fact I hadn’t shared with Jeff dawned on me.