Aliens Abroad

by Gini Koch

  Because this thing could float and Roanach was one with the idea of the straightest line possible, we were heading over what appeared to be a dig site. This was the first evidence of activity besides farming we’d seen.

  “We can’t find anyone on the surface, and we’ve searched the entire world by now.”

  “I’d ask how but I assume that the ‘we’ means Christopher.”

  “Yes. He and Butler used the shuttle to search the rest of the landmasses while we dug around here. I feel people, so we assume they’re underground, probably because of the bombings. There’s a lot of destruction.”

  “Did they have cities? Does it look highly civilized?” We were over the giant hole now. And large rabbits were working on it, doing the digging. They looked about the same size as the sheep, had orangey fur, and the few that looked up at us had the same crazy eyes as the rest of this world’s residents. They had the adapted front paws, though their rear paws were still pretty rabbitlike. Their claws were long and sharp, sharper even than the possums’, and while they didn’t have tusks, their teeth were impressively large and looked sharp, too. No one would want to cuddle one of these, other than another one of these.

  “Yeah, it does. Very civilized. I think this was another utopian planet—I don’t see any means to fight back, we haven’t found weapons or anything we think could be weapons.”

  “So, not like where we are. The weapons we’ve seen so far are edged, clubs, and some kinds of things that look like guns made for hoof-hands. Haven’t seen so much as a crossbow, let alone any other kinds of projectile weapons, and no one’s fired those guns, thankfully, so they may not work like we think they do.”

  “So a lot more than we’re seeing here.”

  “Noted.” None of the rabbits waved to us and Roanach and Clorence didn’t wave, either. The guards around this dig were all rabbits, too and, for the first time, something other than a bull looked threatening in a real way. “Anything else going on?”

  “Not really. If I didn’t feel others besides those in our away team, I’d honestly say this world was deserted.”

  “Are you going to search for the people? Lilith said she thought they might be shielded in some way.” Couldn’t make out what the rabbits were digging for. However, the dirt they were digging up was being formed into a hill by other rabbits. Wondered if the other hills we’d passed had been formed like this, too. But there had been no evidence of digs, and for this hole they were too far into the earth to make the idea that this was going to be another area where crops were grown make sense.

  I believe they are all underground, Lilith said in my head. At least half of this population is underground and harder for me to spot. I assume it’s the same on the other planet. I was able to sense them here when we went over this hole.

  “Yes, but first we’re investigating without interference.”

  “Wise. I’m assuming a human suggested that.”

  “Actually, I did.” Jeff’s sarcasm knob was only at about a five. “If you can believe it.”

  “I’m so proud! Search underground, Lilith thinks that’s where we’re going to find the majority of the populations. And all this is great, but I have to ask—why are you calling? Not that it’s not great to hear the melodious sounds of your voice, but this feels very non-urgent.”

  “I’m calling because of what we just found and triggered.”

  “Okay, I’ll bite—is it a doomsday device and we only have a few minutes to defuse it? If so, never cut the red wire.”

  “No. It’s nothing like that. We found what looks like a giant meteorite.”

  “Is that what the red planet is using to bomb the blue one?”

  “No. We saw evidence of their bombs. Nasty, but not this. But based on what Wheatles and Grentix think, this is likely the same kind of thing that sent the Mykali to Earth.”

  It was there, right there. Focused on the playlist again. Had “Sowing the Seeds of Love” by Tears for Fears playing now. “Seeds . . .”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Not sure yet. You said you triggered it. Does that mean it’s going to explode or open?”

  “Open.”

  “Careful, that’s one way you can become Hawkman and then you’ll be mated forever with whatever girl’s standing there.”

  “Huh?”

  “Ask James. Just be careful.”

  “We are. Hang on.” Heard talking in the background. “Okay, it’s fully opened now and the Ignotforstans are examining what’s inside.”

  “I’m so glad the Real Naked Apes wanted to come along.”

  “Don’t call them that, but yeah, me too.”

  “I think they’ll like it. Grentix has a great sense of humor, and Wheatles is pretty cool.”

  “Thanks for the assessment of our newest allies. Hang on.” Heard more voices in the background. They sounded excited. “Huh. Wheatles and Grentix aren’t sure, but they think that what’s inside is some kind of recording device. We’re going to try to figure out how to make it work.”

  “Good luck with that. You’re sure it’s not a bomb?”

  “Pretty sure. And we have hyperspeed and are prepared to run if we need to. And—and this may shock you—I’ve been doing work like this far longer than I’ve known you.”

  “Blah, blah, blah. Okay, great, then call me back when you have more.” My music changed to “Red Door Blues” by Indigo Swing. “I need to concentrate.”

  “You don’t want to listen in?” Jeff sounded shocked.

  “Oh, I do. Only, we’re finally coming to what I think is the capital and I’m going to have to be fully focused.”

  “Okay. Love you, baby.”

  “Love you, too. Be careful.”

  “You, too.”

  “Always.”

  “Never,” Jeff said dryly, “that I’ve ever seen.”

  “Everyone’s a critic.” Tapped my communicator and the call went dead. Just in time. No need for Jeff to hear what was about to go on.

  We’d been told to make a sharp right around another hill and found the capital. And there was a whole line of bulls with swords and pikes waiting to greet us.

  CHAPTER 101

  THIS PLACE RESEMBLED A fort from the Old West a lot more than a city. In places like Arizona and New Mexico, wood was scarce, so most forts didn’t really have barriers, just people on guard. This place was quite similar. Unsurprisingly—hadn’t seen anything that looked like a tree anywhere.

  There were people and buildings, of course. The buildings weren’t that impressive. They seemed more like mud huts than anything else. Had no idea what kind of industry this world had, but whatever it was, it wasn’t high tech. Other than, you know, them launching rockets at the other planets in their system. Maybe that was their industry. Maybe it was hidden somewhere. Maybe I’d find out.

  There were various people on the streets, all of them matching one of the four types we’d already seen. Hadn’t spotted anything that flew, and if there were insect people, they weren’t in evidence.

  “Where are we?” I asked Clorence.

  “The capital city.”

  Managed not to say “duh” really loudly, but it took effort. “Um, really? What’s this magnificent place called?”

  “It is magnificent, isn’t it?” he replied, with absolutely zero irony. “We are in Luhgremn.”

  “What?” He said the name again. Forced him to spell it. Realized I would think of this place as Loogie if I wasn’t really careful. “Luhgremn. Got it.”

  Most of this city is underground, Lilith said in my head. I believe we are also going to find the source of the rage here. Abigail is not wrong, but something here definitely is.

  “How do you want to handle this?” Buchanan asked in English as one of the bulls approached.

  “Asking them to put on loincloths is out, Malcolm
,” White said. “Sadly.”

  “They’re into being natural or nudists or however you want to think of them. Anyway, the handling is going to depend on Telzor.”

  The bull came up to the side of the cab. Buchanan did his best not to look at the giant phallus flopping around basically in his face, but was pretty sure it was taking superhuman effort. Managed to control the Inner Hyena, but it took almost the same level of effort.

  “What’s going on here?” the bull asked as he bent down and gave Buchanan something of a break.

  Shocking me to my core, Roanach answered. “We are bringing the visiting aliens, Queen Katherine and her retainers, to meet Mad Lord Johpunnt, may the sun continue to love his reflection.”

  The bull looked at the flatbed. “What happened to the Captain of the Guard?”

  Decided the truth was the way to go. “He pissed me off.”

  Telzor groaned and sat up. “This is the Warrior Queen. She is not from our world. And she is vicious and violent.” We hadn’t seen anyone who looked human, so sharing that we weren’t from around here, after Roanach had said we were aliens, seemed like overkill, but perhaps Telzor was just trying to regain a modicum of authority.

  “Ah,” the other bull said. He nodded to all the other bulls. They separated so we could keep going. “You will take them to our Mad Lord?”

  “I will,” Telzor replied.

  Noted that the bulls didn’t need to say the crap about the sun. Not that this was a total surprise. This place was definitely the inspiration for Apokolipse. Wondered what the Mad Lord was going to look like, other than naked with his junk flapping about. Figured he had to be a bull—they were the biggest creatures I’d seen here, and they had the nastiest horns and the biggest hooves. And other things.

  We started off again. Telzor pushed Roanach and Clorence out of the way, shoved his head in between mine and Buchanan’s, and started giving directions.

  “Oh, my dear God. Dude. Do they have breath mints on this planet?”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” Telzor said. “But I assume it’s an insult.”

  “Only to your breath. I’m still very complimentary about your manhood, especially since I’ve just seen other examples. You’re the Top Bull for a reason.” Buchanan and White both tried to pretend they hadn’t heard this.

  Looked around as my music changed to “Smoke and Mirrors” by Symphony X. Saw no smoke, saw no mirrors, so figured Algar was telling me that things might not be as crappy as I was seeing. Or else we were heading into a trap. Possibly both.

  “Telzor, what is it that you do on Helix Rime?” I asked, as we weaved between huts and the people moved out of our way. As with the way here, there weren’t roads so much as places that you could float over. Had to say this—the planet required less upkeep than a lot out there.

  “What do you mean? I told you, I’m the Captain of the Guard.”

  “Yeah, not what I meant. I mean, what do you do, create, enjoy? I mean, everyone’s gotta eat, and I’ve seen farms. But there have to be things to do other than farm and guard things. And dig holes.”

  Telzor rolled a giant eye at me. “You saw digging?”

  “Yeah. On the way here. The long, boring way here. Seriously, what industry does this planet have?”

  “You ask many questions.”

  “I do. I’m interested in why you don’t want to give me any answers.”

  “I’m curious as to how Telzor found us so quickly,” White said.

  Telzor snorted. “It’s my job to know when things are not what they should be.”

  “So, you saw us land?” I asked.

  Telzor didn’t answer.

  “I’m pretty sure this thing can go a lot faster than I’ve been going,” Buchanan said in English. “I figured we needed to see what was around us and I didn’t want to lose anyone if they’re still on the back.”

  “It’s a long blend for Nightcrawler if they are.”

  “He’s been practicing,” Buchanan said with a grin. “But if you’re trying to figure out how our friend here got to us so fast, this is probably the way. Based on how lightly I’ve been pressing the pedal and by what I think are numbers indicating speed, we’re nowhere close to as fast as this can go. Figure they saw us land or saw us exit the shuttle somehow and sent the big guy out to stomp us into the ground.”

  “I’d brag about not letting that happen, but I know how our luck rolls, so I’ll keep that one to myself.”

  “I’m impressed with your self-control,” White said.

  “Stop here,” Telzor said, before I could get in another rejoinder.

  We stopped. Looked around. Wasn’t much to see. Other than a big hole that looked to be an easy fifty feet in diameter, and a very large capstan that looked like it needed at least eight bulls to move. The whole area was guarded by bulls and rabbits.

  Telzor got off the truck bed. Roanach and Clorence did, too. The three of us followed suit, Buchanan taking the time to take our and Telzor’s weapons out from behind the seat. He put his gun back on, tossed mine to me, gave one of the swords to White, and kept one for himself. Decided this was smart thinking.

  Telzor looked like he wanted to demand his weapons back, but then he looked at me and changed his mind. So he’d heard and understood my threat about ripping them off. Good.

  However, he didn’t seem clear that what we were wearing on our backs were weapons. Possibly because we hadn’t used them in that way—we’d already put our weapons away by the time he’d joined our party, and they looked nothing like the weapons this world had. Decided this was us being stealthy and hoped it wouldn’t blow up in our faces in some embarrassing way later.

  Telzor went to the side of the hole and waited. Went with him, though all of us stood far enough away that he couldn’t shove us in easily, Roanach and Clorence, too. My music changed to “Demons” by Imagine Dragons. Not the most comforting of song choices, but at least it wasn’t the Cosmic “So Close Yet Still So Far” Thing playlist for the moment.

  The source of the rage is nearby and underground, Lilith said. Be cautious.

  Looked down. Saw nothing. “I wonder if it’s going to be like on Nazez. Where we’re going down into an illusion.”

  “This is no illusion,” Telzor said as he nodded to one of the rabbits standing around the hole. It pointed to the bulls, and sixteen of them went to the capstan and started turning it. This required a great deal of effort on the bulls’ part.

  Hadn’t meant to speak the native language, nor had I realized I’d done so. Oh well, my, as always, bad.

  “What is this place?” Buchanan asked.

  “The entry to the palace of Mad Lord Johpunnt,” Telzor said. “May the sun continue to love his reflection.”

  Chose not to mention that he hadn’t used the sun phrase until now.

  A platform rose up. It was metal and had intricate designs depicting a solar system, but not the one we were in, at least, not as far as I could tell. The system shown reminded me of the one we’d seen in the picture sets—the first solar system, the one whose sun had gone supernova, the one we felt the Mykali had come from.

  “That’s a beautiful design,” I said to Telzor.

  He nodded. “It is.”

  “Is this the design on every platform, or do they change?”

  “This is the approved design.”

  Telzor stepped on the Approved Design and the rest of us did, too. Telzor indicated that he wanted some of the rabbits to join us, which they did. Had no idea where the rest of our away team was, but there was enough room that they could all be on this thing and no one would know. Once we were on, Telzor nodded to the rabbit in charge of the capstan. It had the bulls start turning in the opposite direction. We started down.

  This platform went faster than the one on Nazez had, possibly because it was being run by real people. Looked aro
und for signs of illusion, but saw nothing. We went down with dirt all around us until we were about as deep as I’d seen the rabbits digging in that other hole. Then we left the dirt, though we could still see the sky above us. But what we were in now wasn’t dirt.

  We were in a city, a real city. Just a totally underground one.

  Actively made sure I was speaking English. “This looks a lot like how Tolkien described the underground dwarf cities.”

  “Complete with very active mines,” Buchanan said, nodding his head toward one.

  “And volcanoes,” White added as he looked around. “I have no idea how they’re harnessing them, but these volcanoes look as active as the ones we saw erupting.”

  Noted that Roanach and Clorence looked awed. Switched back to their native tongue. “This city is amazing. It must have taken decades to build.”

  “More than a thousand years,” Telzor said. “And this city is more than ten thousand years old. We reap the benefits of those from Helix Rime who have come before us.”

  “Wow. It’s lasted that long? That’s amazing.”

  “We survive and endure on Helix Rime.” This also sounded like a scripture quote.

  “Brilliant architecture, too.” It was. Somehow the pillars were holding up not only the earth but a crisscross of metal latticework that was both beautiful and efficient—many things hung from the lattice, including what looked like homes, work areas, and mining offices.

  This reminded me much more of Haven—Fancy’s underground network of cities protecting her and her people—than it did of the factory on Nazez. This place definitely felt real. Unlike Haven, though, I was really sure that people, not Algar, had built it. What people was the question—the architecture I was seeing sort of screamed the need for opposable thumbs. Though, who knew, maybe I was selling those with hooves and claws short. After all, they were driving, farming, and wielding weapons. Why not create a gigantic underground city, too?

  Had to figure the smoke and mirrors clue related to the top of the world versus what lay underneath. From the outside, this planet only looked like Apokolipse. From the inside, however, it looked very functional, civilized in a certain Industrial Age way, and quite bustling.