Aliens Abroad

by Gini Koch

  Stood eye to eye with Johpunnt. He was less impressive up close. Put the point of my gun to his chest. “Surrender.”

  “Never. You will have to kill me.”

  “Dude, you seem to think that someone named the Warrior Queen has trouble killing people. I find that funny. Almost as funny as your hairdo.” My team snickered.

  Kept the gun on him but turned to the audience. Had a great vantage point in that I could probably hit every one of the scary rabbits the cages didn’t get from up here before they could attack. But that would send the wrong message, particularly since I saw a lot of sheep, possums, and cows crowding in through the doorway to see what was going on. The rabbits in the cages were trying to lift them. Figured they might succeed.

  “You don’t have a lot of time,” I shared with the room. “Your sun is dying and your solar system is in the Deep Black where, soon, no one will ever find you again. We came to help you.”

  “She lies!” Johpunnt shouted. “They came to conquer us.”

  “Hardly. Why would we want to? This planet isn’t exactly the garden spot of the galaxy.”

  “They want what all our enemies want,” Johpunnt said. “Our destruction!”

  My music changed to “Blue Wonderful” by Elton John. Hoped I was interpreting the clue right. “The planet you’re trying to blow up is more than willing to welcome you, but you’ve never asked them for help, you’ve just attacked them without provocation.”

  “They are our enemies! They live in beauty while we were condemned to horror.” Realized Johpunnt really believed this. It was unlikely I was going to get through to him. But I still had to try.

  “They aren’t anyone’s enemies. They’re peaceful and, as an aside, they don’t eat each other, even after a big battle or whatever your nauseating custom is. You could be like them. But your leader wants destruction. We’d prefer peace. But understand—I’m called the Warrior Queen for a reason. Think on that, before you choose your next actions.”

  Too many here have believed too long, Lilith said in my head. If the leader does not choose peace, then neither will they.

  Turned back to Johpunnt. “Look, you can die for some ancient cause. Or you can live and save your people.” Took my gun off his chest and slung it onto my back. “You see what I’m choosing—peace between us.”

  He produced a large knife from somewhere. “I will not be the one dying, and we will never choose your way!” Then he lunged at me.

  Didn’t bother to move. I was in a bodysuit that only Ginger’s claws had been able to penetrate. Did the simplest of blocks and knocked the knife out of his hand. It skittered away. “That’s your plan? Your whole plan? You’re sure?”

  My music changed to “Blitzkrieg Bop” by The Ramones, so I had a guess that this wasn’t over.

  “No,” Johpunnt cackled. I’d still heard better. “They are my plan!” He pointed. Sure enough, some of the rabbits in the cages had gotten out. They sprang toward my people, and the fight I’d hoped to avoid started.

  The Peregrines and princesses engaged first. The Peregrines had claws easily as sharp as the rabbits did, and they could fly away—and this world had no birds, so the rabbits had never dealt with something with wings that could go much higher than they could jump.

  The Peregrines could also grab a rabbit, fly up high, and drop it. Which they did. Right over the princesses’ heads. It was like a violent form of baseball, where the pitcher ensured the batters never missed and the balls were ripped, sliced, and diced.

  The bulls creating the “back wall” broke ranks and ran to lift the cages off of the other rabbit troops while those who’d been in the doorway scattered. Possibly because a battalion of sheep were trotting in.

  Which was too bad for the sheep, because the Most Weasels called dibs on them. Winced and turned away as sheep started screaming—in terror. It was going to be a bloodbath. Because even though Helix Rime was barbaric, it was still far more civilized than the Animal Kingdom. And sheep weren’t really meant to be violent, even those who’d evolved impressive tusks and horns. Plus, they weren’t fast, and the Most Weasels were moving like they had hyperspeed. Perhaps they did.

  Of course, some of the attacking rabbits made it through the Peregrines and princesses. Telzor wrenched his sword out of Buchanan’s hands but didn’t attack our team with it. Instead, he was swinging it against the rabbits, effectively. Roanach and Clorence were also using their weapons against the rabbits, though not that well. Len and Kyle took pity on them and put themselves between Roanach and Clorence and the attacking rabbits.

  My rabbits were going two on one with the attacking rabbits and winning. Their claws were sharp, so were their teeth, and they were repulsed by what these rabbits were like. They felt like a human fighting a zombie would—the enemy was so warped from the norm that the horror had to be destroyed. My rabbits were definitely fighting with the extra oomph this kind of revulsion gave you.

  The bulls charged, but on their back legs only, not on all fours and leading with their best weapons. Instead, they left themselves wide open for those with lasers to shoot them. It was easier than shooting fish in a barrel. Sure, it took a lot of shots, but no bulls got close to anyone on my team.

  It was sad. It was obvious that this world hadn’t had a real enemy for at least a generation. They were just a bunch of people all dressed up, or undressed up, rather, with no one to fight. They hadn’t fought each other, hadn’t practiced, they’d just been guarding nothing and being mean to whoever Johpunnt didn’t like today. They weren’t organized—none of the rabbits were fighting as a team, the bulls weren’t going back-to-back like the princesses and most of my team were, no one was moving in any way that could be called evasive, the sheep that weren’t dead were running away screaming.

  And that’s when the Auxiliary Backup Team’s secret weapon appeared.

  Ginger leaped out of the shuttle, caterwaul set to eleven, all claws out on all paws. For the first time, these people were seeing a real predator, one that considered them all food, and food it enjoyed hunting, toying with, killing, and devouring. Ginger’s snarl hit most of the fighters right in the same place a tiger’s growl hit a human—in the soft bits.

  She landed on the dais in front of me and roared. Had no idea ocellars could do that, but Ginger had the chops. And what she was saying in cat was that she was also the Warrior Queen.

  Every Helix Rime denizen froze, in terror. And my team didn’t hit anyone who wasn’t moving.

  All this had happened quickly—The Ramones were still singing. Turned to Johpunnt who, like me, had been watching, not fighting. “Surrender. Stop this needless bloodshed. Too many of your people have died already. Show that you’re actually a good leader, and surrender, so they get to live.”

  “Never,” he snarled. He raised the knife again. Okay, so maybe I’d been watching and he’d been scrambling for his knife. Minor detail.

  He lunged, and this time, I merely stepped aside. He tripped over Ginger, and went tumbling down. He landed with a mighty splat and big gasps from the crowd. Sure enough, he’d landed on his knife.

  “And nasty little men like you always get their comeuppance,” I said to his dead body. Picked Ginger up and gave her a snuggle. Received a smug and happy purr in return. Looked up at the crowd. “People of Helix Rime, you have a choice. You stop fighting and you get to live. You keep on fighting and we’ll make the rest of you as dead as we’ve already made your friends and relations and as dead as your so-called leader has made himself.”

  “Are you saying that the Mad Lord killed himself?” Telzor shouted quickly. He sounded hopeful.

  Made eye contact. He was an animal. More humanoid than animal, as we’d all just proved, but still, animal. Concentrated. Got a feeling of why he’d asked.

  “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”

  Telzor smiled at me. Then he turned around. “Brothers
and sisters, the Mad Lord Johpunnt has committed the ultimate crime! It is forbidden for our leader to willingly leave this life before his time, before the next leader has been born. That means that the Mad Lord’s rules are now considered evil and wrong. And that means that we must surrender to the Warrior Queen.” Telzor turned back to me, dropped his weapon on the ground, and knelt down, head bowed.

  Those who were holding weapons dropped them. Then they all did what Telzor had, crazy rabbits, too. Even the ones who were wounded. Wanted to tell them to stand up, but knew that was the wrong move. Didn’t want to rule these people. Just wanted to save them, from themselves and from the situation their leaders had allowed them to end up in.

  My music changed to “Kings and Queens” by Aerosmith. Time to remember that I had a job, and a reputation, to maintain here.

  “My first ruling—stop bombing anyone, ever, anywhere, immediately. If bombs are set to go off, someone had better make damn sure they abort those rockets. Now.”

  Several sheep and rabbits ran off. Some of my rabbits went after them, so they could report what was being done.

  “My second ruling—you will cease all the ‘guarding.’ I want all the weapons you have brought here.”

  “We can assist with that, My Queen,” Abigail said with a grin.

  Thought about it. “Huh. Mahin’s already doing that with Chuckie, isn’t she?”

  “And Mossy.” Abigail shrugged. “There’s so much dirt on this planet . . .”

  “Yeah, Mahin’s having an earth-bending field day, got it. Well then, all A-Cs, please collect all the available weapons in the cavern. If it’s a ridiculous task, though, just let me know, don’t waste the effort. Other than Mister White, whose counsel I want to have right at hand.”

  “Of course, My Queen,” White said with a twinkle. He looked around. “I suggest we tend to the wounded and bury the dead.”

  “Yeah, that’s important. Only not nearly as important as getting these people evacuated to a solar system that’s not drifting in the Deep Black. Telzor, what’s the spaceship situation? We saw that you’re building some.”

  “Our rockets are not made for travel,” Telzor replied. “And our spaceship is not ready. The Mad Lord was more interested in the rockets.”

  “I’ll bet. Does anyone have a population estimate for this planet and the other one?”

  “It’s called Helix Noblora,” Jerry said in my ear. “And while we might be able to stuff everyone from Helix Rime into the Distant Voyager, it would be tight, and we don’t have a good count for how many are underground there. It goes without saying that we don’t have enough room for those on Helix Noblora, with or without Helix Rime’s residents.”

  “So, find another way,” Tim said.

  “Um, are we on a group call?”

  “Has your team stopped fighting?” Jeff asked, sounding mildly annoyed.

  “Geez, yes. It’s not like we wanted to. Who’s in charge over on Helix Noblora?”

  “No one,” Reader said with a sigh. “Everyone. There’s a council. It’s gigantic—anyone who wants to be on it can be, meaning most of them feel that they’re council members. And there are a lot of residents on this planet. They get nothing done, as you’d imagine. However, at least they aren’t spending all their time trying to destroy everyone else.”

  My rabbits connected mentally with me and shared that all the rockets had been turned off and that the sheep and rabbits they’d followed were telling everyone that they now reported to the Warrior Queen. They suggested I send off some emissaries to do this topside and to assist with continuing to do so in the caverns.

  Heaved a sigh. “Look, can we get off the phone and meet up in person? Because it’s going to take me a little bit for my crazy to come up with something genius and, until then, I have a lot of newly loyal subjects to patch up, bury, bawl out, and reassure.”

  “So,” Jeff said, “routine.”

  CHAPTER 105

  SINCE MY RABBITS HAD requested it, and it made sense, had Telzor handle sending out the good word of my newly appointed reign to the rest of the world. He assigned people to do this, but he stayed with me. Was fine with that.

  We had a lot of dead and injured, and this world, shockingly, wasn’t well equipped in the patching up department. So Reader flew a shuttle over with reinforcements. But he went back to Helix Noblora because we already had two shuttles here and could handle the extra bodies, and without him, they had no shuttle there.

  Would have liked to have gone to Helix Noblora with him, but it was clear that I needed to stick around, because the people on Helix Rime were very used to having someone telling them what to do.

  Lorraine and Claudia were here to help Tito with the doctoring, Gower was here to help me and White get the natives into a less bloodthirsty mindset, and Christopher was here to help with the weapons pickup, since Abigail and the Barones had come back with the news that the caverns ran all through the world.

  Abigail had also come back with information. “I couldn’t tell you this earlier, because I was so angry I had to use all my focus not to go berserk. But once the rabbit shock troops were killed and Johpunnt died, the rage subsided.”

  “That’s interesting.”

  “Isn’t it? So I investigated when you sent me off. The food from that replicator is only given to those in the capital city and to those who the Mad Lord feels have earned the privilege. The rest of the planet is fed by the farms.”

  “Lilith said the replicator was evil.”

  “I think it is. I think it’s broken, or tainted. This world is tainted, in that sense, but nothing like as much as right here.”

  “While you’re at everything else we need to dismantle that replicator, then.”

  Abigail grinned. “On it, boss.”

  Would have loved it if Jeff had come to Helix Rime, but with us taking most of the A-Cs over here, he had to stay there. Instead, the Kristie-Bot had managed to finagle a seat on the interplanetary shuttle. She was sitting with me and Ginger on the dais while everyone else went about the tasks I’d set them to.

  “Code Name: Warrior Queen sounds like a great title,” she said.

  “Kristie, so help me God . . .”

  She laughed. “I just wanted you to chill out a little.”

  “Wish I could. We have an entire solar system to save and I don’t know how.”

  My music had been off since I’d asked for the rest and repair break. But it came on now, “Astronaut” by Simple Plan. It was about floating away alone. Like this system. Needed to figure out what to do, and fast.

  “Why don’t we just ask Gustav’s father for help and have him send enough ships to evacuate?” she suggested. “I mean, we made it out of the galaxy safely, why not them?”

  “They don’t have what I have. And getting out is, frighteningly enough, easier than getting back in. Besides, this system matters. All of it. Not just the people.”

  “I know Grentix was talking about how the galaxy needs what the supernova will create. But it’s a big galaxy. What’s one system lost?”

  “It’s not just ‘one system’ at all. It’s more than that.”

  “How so?”

  Sighed. “This system is the Cradle of Life.”

  “Isn’t that in Africa?”

  “For Earth? Yes. I’d imagine that’s where most of the meteor spaceships hit. Probably when all the continents were one big landmass. The meteor spaceships may be what broke up the big landmass into the continents. That would be my guess, anyway.”

  The Kristie-Bot shook her head. “Sorry, you need to explain that.”

  My music changed to “Alien” by Lifehouse. Had no idea what Algar was going for. “It’s like this—the system, the original one whose star blew up so many tens of millions of years ago, that was the system that sent out the meteor spaceships.”

  “Right.
And one hit Earth, with the Mykali in it.”

  “Yes, more than one. But I think there were two types of meteor spaceships sent out. In Titan A.E., the Earth is under attack. They send space shuttles off the planet, filled with people. Some make it, some don’t. But they also sent the Titan, a different kind of spaceship, one that has the DNA for all of life on Earth. So it can create a new Earth.” Good old Planet Bob.

  “I haven’t seen it, but okay.”

  “It’s a good movie. And I think whoever wrote it got the idea from an ancestral memory about how to escape and have your species, all of them, survive when your sun is going to die or your planet is going to be blown up.”

  “I totally do not follow you.”

  “That system was the original Cradle of Life. Eden, if a Biblical reference is easier. It was for me when I first joined this business we call keeping the galaxy together. So, Eden is where life, all life, forms, for the first time. It’s just the right place for it, for whatever reason.” My music changed to “Aliens Exist” by blink-182. Still had no idea what Algar was going for, other than possibly a reminder that there were other worlds with people on them. But I had the answer for that.

  “Okay. So?”

  “So, the people there became very advanced, and they realized that their star wasn’t going to last. So they created ships that would send their people away. But not just their people. Ships can get destroyed or lost, right? So, in addition to their people, they sent out their DNA. My bet is that they sent the DNA first, just in case. If it didn’t make it, oh well, they haven’t lost their living people.”

  “Wait . . . so you think they, what, seeded the galaxy?”

  “Yeah, I do. I think that, based on what you guys all saw on Helix Noblora and what I’ve seen here pictorially, that’s what happened. Sending vials of DNA in a spaceship is a lot safer than sending a living person. And everything’s represented on Helix Noblora.”

  “Well, the shape-shifters aren’t,” the Kristie-Bot pointed out.