River's Return (River's End Series, #3)

by Davis, Leanne

  Allison rushed down the front porch steps. The ranch lay before her, dotted with distant outbuildings, neatly fenced-off fields, and colorful horses everywhere. Off in the distance, the river swirled through the valley, reflecting and refracting the afternoon sunlight on its surface. Across the river and up a steep bank stood a lone row of houses, one of which was hers, perched atop it. She could just make out the end of her yard, looking small and doll-like from where she stood. It was a truly spectacular spot on the earth. Allison found it so peaceful and restful with the warm sun’s rays on her body, and the rich scenery all around her.

  Shane. He said she was supposed to find him. She hesitated before walking beyond her car towards the diverse outbuildings. She never explored much beyond the perimeter of their large, log home. It was easy to determine which were the horse barns as well as some of the smaller sheds and storage buildings. She easily recognized Shane’s shop. It was gigantic too, a long, metal building with a couple of garage doors on the front. As she got closer, she could hear the sound of clanging and loud music playing. It was some kind of head-blasting rock music. Shane. There was no doubt in her mind; and a small smile curled her lips as she lifted a hand to bang against one of the side doors. No answer. He probably couldn’t hear over all the racket.

  She pushed on the door and entered the building. It was a large, cavernous space with high ceilings in which florescent lighting flickered, making it kind of dim and shadowy in spots. Several cars were lined up, back-to-back with various, unnamed parts of tractors, motors, miscellaneous farm equipment, and other odd metal pieces that Allison could never identify.

  “Shane?” she yelled into the large space. The smell of metal, gas, oil, dust and other icky odors assaulted her nose.

  His head popped out from under the vehicle, which was hoisted up on a lift. He grinned when he saw her and jumped to his feet in a lithe movement that surprised her, considering his height and bulk. Wearing a bandanna that pushed his hair back, a ripped up shirt, and jeans, he had streaks of grease and oil covering every inch of him. His hands were coated black. He seemed like the kind of man who literally immersed himself in his work. She instantly gathered he had to be very hands on, not just someone who tinkered idly, but a man that saturated himself in whatever job he was doing. His hair was a long ponytail, as always, and she didn’t fail to miss his biceps when they bunched and undulated as he reached up high to turn the music down. His colorful tattoos were bright and she felt a flush of heat rising in her chest and climbing up to her face. There was something so masculine about Shane Rydell. Every inch of him was unlike her, and for some reason, that attracted her, as well as repelled her.

  He turned back towards her, wiping his hands on a filthy, but once white shop rag. “Hey, teacher… how’d it go?” His eager expression, raised eyebrows, wide eyes and a small smile encouraged her to talk. She had to admit he didn’t react to her, or what she had to say the way she imagined. He seemed so interested in Erin and her journey, along with Allison’s role in it. Not something you’d expect from the biker-tough look Shane projected at first glance. His lazy, but charming smiles and looks hid what she was beginning to suspect was a deep love for his family. For some reason, he felt the need to run from them half the time, yet seemed disappointed when he suspected they were all slowly drifting apart. He was, in short, a complete contradiction to her.

  “Good. Really, good. She’s pretty exhausted and annoyed with me. She doesn’t see how the work we’re doing will relate to reading, or result in better fluency, but it will. All of it will. I can feel it, Shane; this is really going to work.”

  Shane soon had a huge, shit-eating grin. He shocked her by suddenly stepping forward, setting his hands on her waist and spinning her around. She felt like her feet were physically off the ground, and she was flying through the air in circles. Grabbing his shoulders for balance, she shrieked with surprise. But Shane was too busy grinning and whooping with glee.

  “I damn well knew it. I knew you were the right answer. After listening to you a few times, I was positive you could help Erin.”

  She couldn’t hide how she responded to him. She laughed as he displayed the unbridled enthusiasm she was too reserved and maybe even too stodgy to express. Not like Shane, or his full-bodied, bring-it-on, whooping around, and almost dancing kind of excitement. “Okay, okay. Now put me down. I’m just starting. It’s just a start.”

  He was still smiling as he placed her back on her feet. He didn’t, however, step away from her, or drop his large hands from her waist. He was standing about a foot away from her and she had to tilt her head back to look up at him. At five-foot-seven, Allison rarely felt quite so petite near anyone. He made her feel diminutive, from her height to her weight, with his enormous body next to hers. It was a nice feeling, actually. Not many could make her feel that way. Standing in front of her, he tilted his head to look down, and his warm hands nearly smoldered, despite her clothes. The shop was suddenly taut with tension between them, and yet Shane didn’t let go, or step back, or even clear his throat.

  It was, Allison realized in a split second, a moment. They were sharing an odd, surprising, and mutually shocking moment. Or at least, she was. Her gaze was fastened on his. His green eyes were bright and engaging. Shane was so full of life and energy and youth, and even though he was only a few years younger than she, he often seemed decades older. He never made her feel she was more mature or worldly than him, however. No. For Shane, every day was a new big, grand adventure, which, she had to admit, she found kind of intoxicating. Her pulse increased as well as her heart rate. But why? Was it Shane’s infectious excitement? Or… no, that would be too shocking and surprising. Was it from being so near to Shane?

  Did he feel it too? An undeniable tug of something very close to attraction? The unfamiliar thought startled her and made her skin turn colors. She dropped her gaze until she was staring up and down the length of his body and trying to confine her vision to their feet. She tried to step back, out of his arms as discreetly and naturally as possible. His hands slid off her and she felt the loss immediately. His hands were warm and rather tender when he touched her. It made her heart flip over. Then he glanced down.

  “Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot my hands were covered in grease. I hope I didn’t ruin your shirt or anything.” Holding up his very much blackened palms, he reminded her of a little boy apologizing earnestly to his mom for tracking mud through her house. There was something very boyish about Shane, in spite of his biker looks, occupation, and lifestyle. She rarely thought of him as a youthful, sweet person, although he acted that way quite often. She resisted the odd urge to step forward and cradle his hand in her own while reassuring him it was fine if he got her dirty. He just seemed so overly concerned about it. Looking down, she examined her white shirt and gray sweatshirt. She was a little reluctant to admit seeing streaks of, most likely, grease. His expression fell when he noticed them too. “Oh crap,” he muttered. “Sometimes, I don’t belong in civil company.”

  There was something oddly self-conscious about his statement. She rarely witnessed Shane appearing self-conscious. His affair with Celia and Jett’s sudden presence didn’t make him that way, but this did? Being excited and forgetting himself wasn’t exactly tragic. It was really no big deal, yet he looked pissed off at himself.

  She lifted her head and rolled her eyes. “Oh, Shane, it’s nothing. No big deal. I kind of felt like dancing around, myself. I just couldn’t act like this in front of Erin. I was so scared it wasn’t going to work. Or that it might have started out bad. I mean, I thought it was the right way to go… but I was so stressed, I so easily could have turned out to be wrong. She can’t handle any kind of failure, so I had to downplay how big this day actually was to me. And it was such a groundbreaking day in my eyes. So worthy of celebration. So I don’t care about a stupid sweatshirt. Not today.”

  He grinned and replied, “Okay, then I’m not going to care either. Was she really able to do it?”

&n
bsp; Allison stepped away and turned around as if inspecting the shop; but really, she was trying to catch her breath. Her reaction to Shane surprised her. It was not what she expected from Shane Rydell’s presence, considering just weeks ago, she nearly ground her teeth trying to ignore him. He previously seemed so arrogant and uncaring about all the things she considered critically important: children, education, and morality. She saw another side of Shane. She discovered he always left his house whenever his family wasn’t around to hang out with him. He seemed bummed out anytime they were gone… yet he was the very one who often chose to leave them.

  He showed how much he cared about Charlie when she finally got her point across, but even stranger, and kind of inspiring, was the tenderness and care he showed for Erin, a woman whom he didn’t have to care about so much. Erin had only been his family for three years.

  It was never what Allison expected after their first real meeting, when he swaggered so belligerently into her classroom. She certainly never expected to hang out with him on a Saturday night. Or to keep working while he just hung out there. But oddly enough, it was good. Really good, easy, and comfortable. She became totally aware of Shane whenever he got within a hundred feet of her.

  “Really, Shane. I think you’ll get sick of me, and how much work I have ahead of me. She is really worried about imposing on me. Will you please try and convince her how excited I am to do this? You see it, right? I mean, do I appear resentful, as I would be if I considered her an imposition?”

  “No, you seem like you finally belong to something. I saw the clinical side of you at the conference. I didn’t see anything like you are now, talking about this.” His tone was soft as it floated over her and his observations were astonishing… How did she ever assume he was just a meathead biker who knew nothing besides his bike for his entire life? She became kind of breathless while listening to his opinion about her.

  She turned and saw him leaning against the fender of a car. His arms were crossed over his chest and a small, soft smile brightened his face. When was Shane ever soft? That adjective seemed more like anti-Shane. However, she could not deny how kind and tender he was with her.

  “Did you really think I was impersonal? About Charlie?” Allison asked sincerely.

  “No. Not with the kids. About how and what you teach. Don’t listen to me; it was probably from all my preconceived notions of school teachers. I never had a teacher like you. Or one that liked helping others; kids and adults alike. It really is kind of humbling and makes me ashamed almost. I never improved anyone else’s life or society, and I pretty much ignore most normal society standards and niceties. You must think I’m no more than an ignorant heathen.”

  She smiled as she wandered around looking at some of the miscellaneous stuff strewn about. She had no idea what all the tools, and old, metal parts and engines were used for. “No. I never once believed you were ignorant. Your intelligence and wit show through no matter how abrasive I might have found you.”

  “Abrasive? Yeah, I guess that would be me. I didn’t used to give a crap if I came off that way either.”

  “And you do now?” Her incredulity must have shown in her expression. She stared up at him, looking dumbfounded. “Why the change?”

  “You,” he said simply, before ducking his head. She found that a stretch to believe, and almost wondered if he were embarrassed with her.

  “Me?” she stopped dead in her perusal. “Are you for real? I affected you? I thought you were pretty clear cut in who you were and how you honor your code of life.”

  He shrugged his massive shoulders. “Well, I was until you made some good points. I feel ashamed from when I belittled your serious and real efforts to help Charlie… and then from there, well, you know, the stuff with Celia and Jett, and now Erin. You’re just an impressive individual. I guess some of that rubbed off on me.”

  It was perhaps the nicest compliment anyone had ever given her. “Thank you, Shane.” Her voice was serious and humble. She never expected to hear that from the cocky man she had first met.

  “So… all this stuff? You know what to do with all of it?” she asked, changing the topic.

  He shoved himself off the car fender. “Sure. Lots of it is just spare parts. I find a lot of random fixes from old parts, or get inspired with other ideas from them. Kind of all smelly and dirty for you, isn’t it?”

  She shrugged. “Well, yes. Probably like you filling in to teach my class with no preparation. But also kind of fascinating. It’s nothing I know anything about. Neither did my dad or…”

  “Ex-husband?” he asked, suddenly focusing his gaze on her face. She felt his interest and turned to sever it.

  “Yes, even him.”

  “What did he do anyway?”

  “Who?”

  Shane snorted. “Don’t play dumb, or obtuse, Allison. No one in the world would believe it of you, and especially me. You always know what I mean.”

  Did she? She really couldn’t say for sure. Maybe, since she seemed to have a kind of surprising connection with Shane. They didn’t really agree on things, or see the world alike, but there was definitely something between them that made them more familiar with each other. Perhaps they just got each other, despite the odds and polarity. Maybe he was being honest when he said they were friends the other night. Maybe… yes, maybe, Shane Rydell was her friend.

  “My ex was a college professor of literature at the University of Puget Sound. He never really got into car engines, or mechanics, or construction, or all those other traditionally male pursuits. He was more into reading obviously. He also spoke several foreign languages and wrote a weekly article for the college newspaper. My dad? He was kind of like that too. He was a high school math teacher for thirty years and my mom taught Special Ed. I came by this naturally,” she finished with a shrug.

  So, the Rydell men were way beyond the scope of men Allison ever interacted with. The city she grew up in was large and diverse, without a lot of cowboys. She had never seen an area like this until she actually came here. Jack and Ian were still cowboys to her. Men who worked the land and took care of livestock animals were not a common part of her life experience. But Shane? All tatted up and long-haired, dressed in leather, and a real life, damn biker? No. Never. Even in college, she never had any association with men like Shane.

  Shane nodded. “I could see you with someone like that. But what happened? How did you end up here? I have to tell you, I’ve wondered about it. You don’t seem like anyone from around here. You grew up in a city, for one. No doubt, there. But the whole academia thing, you seem to embody it in a way that’s far beyond any other elementary school teacher around here.”

  She shrugged, looking embarrassed as she grabbed onto a large, metal structure that resembled a car lift or something. Shane said sharply, “Don’t lean on that, it’ll get you even dirtier.”

  She immediately lifted her sleeve off as she jerked to attention. He seemed paranoid that she stay all clean and neat. Probably because she always appeared so damn prissy. She knew she did, and had no idea how to avoid it. She automatically put on skirts even though she lived in an area where jeans were considered dressed up. So why couldn’t she relax easier? But whatever she was, Shane didn’t miss the prudish, redheaded, unsexy, academic type she was. Until she arrived in River’s End, she wore that label with pride. That was exactly who and what she was. Not that she didn’t find it meaningful here. Most people were very nice to her and acted as though her opinions mattered and were worth listening to. Was it because she came off as being so damn prudish?

  That thought depressed her. She noticed he was waiting expectantly for an answer. What was his question? “Here? How did you get here? Why would you choose to live in an area like this? We take rural to the extremes of laughable.”

  “Yes. It is that kind of area. I honestly had no idea until I came here. I didn’t even know what it looked like. I applied for the job posting because I was desperately seeking a change. I guess I was hired becau
se I had the most experience and education compared to the other applicants. It was a lifesaver at the time, and still is. It was so different from what I’d known before, that it allowed me to spend all my energy learning how to navigate and adjust to it.”

  “Why did you need a change so badly? Because of your divorce?”

  If only. But it was so much more than that. “I was still married when I moved here and mostly fine by the time we got divorced. I just needed a major change in my life. A big one. So I came here.”

  His expression was incredulous as he grinned while shaking his head. “Talk about a blow-off. There’s more to your story; I totally get that. You’re kind of fascinating, Allison Gray, because I don’t think you ever fully answer a question.”

  She snorted this time. As if. No one ever called her fascinating or interesting or even mildly entertaining. She was salt of the earth, responsible, well informed and articulate. But fascinating? Never. She also didn’t want to talk about why she came there. Not today. Not while this spark of life that she hadn’t felt in years, still burned. So many years.

  Hearing Shane express what she could not was rather liberating. She could almost channel his exuberance and excitement. Being near him allowed her to feel and express everything she denied herself. Very little inspired her anymore. Numb. That was the only word she knew to describe how her life had become. Numb. Empty. Hollow. Nothing made her feel too bad, and never too good either. Each day became an exhausting and hopeless period of tedium and repetition. So yeah, Shane’s explosive interest in her, and hearing him express his feelings was much more than just engaging.