Divided Hearts

by Susan R. Hughes

  Simon shook his head. “How is she doing?”

  “She’s in a panic, like any bride. But once we get her into her gown she’ll be fine. She’s going to look gorgeous. Prepare to have your socks knocked off.”

  “They already have been, just now,” he said, his gaze sweeping over Faye’s dress and upward to pause at her bare shoulders, and then rising to study her hair and face. “You look stunning, Faye.”

  “Thanks.” Liquid heat bloomed from her chest and travelled upward to suffuse her cheeks. “You don’t look bad yourself. Are you hiding up here until the big moment?”

  He nodded. “I’m glad you found me. I was hoping to see you again before the ceremony.”

  “I can’t stay,” Faye said quickly, feeling her heart beat a quick, steady rhythm. “The maid of honour has a lot of responsibilities, you know. The bride is missing, and she’s not even dressed yet. At least you’re all set.”

  “I thought I was.” One of Simon’s eyebrows lifted as he took a step toward her. “But here I am, minutes away from my wedding, and you come along and … I can’t help but imagine you as my bride.”

  Faye shook her head, fighting to draw oxygen into her lungs; all at once she couldn’t quite remember how to breathe. “Don’t say that.”

  In one stride he closed the space between them, capturing both of her hands in his. “Tell me whether you feel the same, Faye.”

  “Why? What good would it do?” Looking into his eyes, she was startled by the sudden passion glowing in their depths. “This is your wedding day.”

  “Tell me. I need to know.”

  She felt both hopeless and furious—at Simon, herself, and the situation they found themselves in. She resented him for torturing her this way, but she could not pull away from him; she had yearned so long for his touch that the sensation of his strong, warm fingers curled around her trembling hands quenched the need in her heart like a rainstorm in the desert.

  “Yes, I love you so much I’m dying inside,” she admitted at last, struggling to speak as her throat tightened with emotion. “I wish I was marrying you today. But I’m not. I never will be yours, and it tears me apart.” Hot tears spilled down her cheeks, as a deep ache settled in her chest.

  “Faye, I’m so sorry.” His lips brushed her face, placing feather-soft kisses next to her eyes and mouth. “It’s killing me, too, loving you so deeply when I can’t have you.”

  Letting her eyes fall closed, Faye released a gentle sigh of pleasure and longing, as warm desire danced down her spine and spread through her limbs like lightning.

  Needing no further encouragement, Simon gathered her close, his arms sliding around her waist as his mouth settled onto hers. Faye let her hands drift over his shoulders to hold him tightly against her. Submitting to the intoxicating rapture of his kisses, she delighted in the clean, spicy scent of him, and the silky fabric of her dress shifting against her skin as his hands caressed her back. She lost all sense of time and place, forgetting for a moment that the dress she wore was lavender, not white—and the man she held in her arms was about to become another woman’s husband. But the moment was fleeting, and gradually a sickening awareness of their betrayal stole over her.

  Breaking this kiss, she eased herself away from him. “Simon, we can’t do this. Not now, and not ever again.”

  He held fast to her, his blue eyes dark with hunger. “I just needed to hold you once more before—”

  “Before you marry my best friend. You made your choice,” Faye reminded him, queasy at the thought that she was no better than her father’s mistress, wedging herself into the center of a family with the inevitable result of destroying it. “You have to be sure you can stick to this commitment. Not just for Hannah’s sake, but for yours and Jenna’s. And if you’re going to go through with it, don’t you dare hurt Jenna. She’s determined to make this work, and I won’t be the one to tear you away from them.”

  Breaking free of his grasp, she grabbed up her skirt in both fists and dashed away from him, rounding the corner into his office.

  She stopped abruptly, gasping in surprise. Jenna stood on the landing, holding tight to the banister. She regarded Faye with a sober expression, her gray eyes stony.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Realizing her cheeks were wet with tears, Faye wiped the moisture away briskly with her fingertips, forcing a smile to her lips. “What are you doing up here? We’re been looking all over for you.”

  “Your mascara is smudged,” Jenna said mutedly, staring at Faye’s face. Her own face looked pale and drawn, but maybe only from the effort of climbing the stairs.

  “I’ll fix it. Don’t worry,” Faye said, alarm welling inside her. With no door between the office and the loft, Jenna could have easily heard what took place between Faye and Simon ... depending on how long she’d been standing there. “Come on, let’s get you into your dress.”

  Jenna didn’t budge. “I can see you’re upset, Faye.”

  Faye pulled in a few deep breaths, desperate to gain control of herself. “I’m just a bit emotional. I’ll be fine.”

  “Are you sure about that?” There was an odd tone to her voice, and she eyed Faye with careful scrutiny.

  “Of course.”

  Jenna’s thin brows lifted. “Really? Even though you’re in love with the man I’m about to marry?”

  Faye felt her jaw slacken. Shaking her head vigorously, she could bring nothing but a strangled sound from her throat. Her heart hammered in her ears; she grabbed the chair by the computer for support as a wave of vertigo threatened to engulf her.

  Jenna answered her silent query with a level tone. “Yes, I heard.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jenna,” Faye said, finding her voice at last. “I swear, nothing has been going on between us. And nothing ever will.”

  Jenna rolled her eyes back, and Faye saw them shimmering with tears. “You can do whatever you like. I’m not going to marry him.” She wrenched the comb from her hair, pulling the veil loose. Her dark ringlets fell loose and tumbled around her face.

  Faye’s hands flew up to her scorched cheeks. God, she’d ruined everything. She shouldn’t have come upstairs; she should have known Simon might be there. “Jenna—”

  “Not because of you,” Jenna interjected, her shoulders drooping. “It’s just not going to work with me and Simon. I’ve known that all along, but I was stupidly determined to try anyhow.”

  Faye let out a breath she hadn’t realize she was holding in; relief flooded through her. “Out of love for your daughter.”

  Jenna walked wearily to one of the plush chairs by the bookcase and sank into it. “Yes, but it isn’t enough. Simon and I are just playing house. No matter how we try this marriage would be doomed to fall apart, and we’ll all get hurt, especially Hannah.” Though she blinked back her tears, one drop slipped out and rolled slowly down her cheek.

  “I’m so glad you came to this decision on your own, and not because of what you just heard,” Faye said quietly, still awash with the shame of what she’d allowed to happen.

  Jenna met her gaze, eyes filled not with anger but with frustration. “But that is part of it, Faye. What you and Simon have is real. What I just heard, between you two—that’s exactly what I want to feel when I get married.” Her words tumbled out with growing resolve. “I want a husband I love, truly and passionately. I want to feel that way on my wedding day, and I’m not going to cheat myself out of it. Not like this.”

  Faye sat next to her, remembering that Simon was in the next room. Could he hear them talking? “I hope you can forgive us, Jenna.”

  “I should be furious at both of you. But I’m the one who deceived Simon and you about Hannah in the first place, so I got my comeuppance. And I guess I’m relieved, more than anything. I’ve been inches away from calling it off all week.”

  “You’ll have to go talk to him.” Faye tilted her head toward the loft behind them.

  Jenna nodded soberly. Reaching behind her neck, she unfastened the silver ch
ain, letting the locket drop into her hand.

  “Something borrowed,” she said quietly, handing it to Faye. “This belongs to you.”

  In the downstairs bathroom, Faye washed the smudged mascara from under her eyes and reapplied it. There would be no wedding today, but she had to maintain the impression that there would be until the bride and groom were ready to announce the cancellation of the ceremony.

  Coming out of the bathroom, she bumped into Carole.

  “You look beautiful, Faye,” Jenna’s mother said brightly.

  “Thank you.” Faye tried on the most natural smile she could summon.

  Carole was too preoccupied to notice any subtleties in Faye’s expression. “Your dad is looking well. Divorced, is he?” she asked, the edges of her mouth curving slyly upward.

  Faye nodded. “Two years ago.”

  Carole nodded vaguely, making an effort to appear nonchalant, while absently curling a lock of her chestnut hair around one finger. “Shame when things don’t work out. I look forward to catching up with him later.” Then her expression sobered. “Is Jenna nearly ready? We’re running late. Mary’s in a lather. As though weddings ever start on time.”

  “She’ll be along soon,” Faye told her, glancing through the French doors to observe the yard full of guests waiting for a wedding that wasn’t going to happen. She didn’t envy whoever had to tell them the news.

  Faye headed the other way, to the front of the house, where she could be alone while she waited. She settled herself on the wooden bench at the side of the porch, her ankles crossed and her hands folded in her lap. Voices drifted around from the back yard; people were excited, anticipating a celebration. Faye felt quite empty, neither happiness nor sadness registering in her heart. What had happened was for the best, she knew, and the future would be better for it. But it was difficult to take any joy from the fracturing of a family, nonetheless.

  “Faye.”

  She turned to see Simon standing in the doorway. She held her breath, waiting for him to continue.

  His shoulders lifted and fell. “Looks like the wedding is off.”

  “I’m sorry,” Faye said, rising to her feet.

  “I’m not. You were right, of course, it wasn’t going to work. We both should have listened to you.”

  “How’s Jenna?”

  Stepping onto the porch, Simon settled his hands in his pockets. “I think she’s actually relieved. She knows I don’t love her, and she doesn’t love me. And what Hannah needs is a loving home, where her parents are as committed to one another as they are to her.” The corners of his mouth lifted as his gaze locked with Faye’s. “Or two loving homes, if that’s how it turns out.”

  “Then it’s the right decision not to get married.” The pace of her heartbeat picked up to a quick, steady rhythm. She knew Jenna would be all right. Hannah would be fine, too; her parents would not be together, but they would both be there for her always.

  Mary poked her head out the door, eyes wide and anxious, mouth compressed in irritation.

  “What on earth are you doing out here?” she demanded. “The ceremony was supposed to start ten minutes ago.”

  Simon glanced at Faye, then at her mother. With a gentle sigh, he turned back to the house. “I have something to tell you, Mum. Let’s go inside.”

  * * *

  Faye found the apartment door locked when she returned from the store. Setting her grocery bags on the hallway floor, she rifled through her pockets in search of her keys, soon realizing she hadn’t brought them. She knocked on the door a few times, hoping Jenna hadn’t gone out.

  In a moment the door swung open, and Jenna stepped aside to let her enter. “Sorry, I locked it by habit when Simon left with Hannah.”

  “No problem.” Faye took her bags into the kitchen and set them on the counter, relieved that she’d missed Simon’s arrival; as much as she longed to see him, she’d been keeping a respectful distance in the week since the wedding day, letting the four of them —Faye, Simon, Jenna and Hannah —settle into their new routine. Life was finally starting to feel normal again … whatever normal was. In time, she supposed they would all figure that out.

  “I have some great news,” Jenna called after Faye, following her into the kitchen.

  “Oh?” Faye turned to face her friend, whose eyes were alight with enthusiasm, and it warmed her heart to see it. Jenna had returned from Halfmoon Bay withdrawn and sullen, but as the days passed had regained her old sparkle, content with her decision.

  “Margaret finally called,” Jenna said; for two days she’d been waiting to hear back from her supervisor at the language school. “She said I can start next week. I’m really excited, Faye. I miss teaching.”

  “That is great news. I’m happy for you.”

  “Why don’t we go out for lunch to celebrate?” Jenna suggested.

  “Sounds nice.” Faye smiled, pleased; although Jenna had assured her she didn’t harbour any resentment toward Faye and Simon, Faye hadn’t been sure their friendship was unharmed. The two women had spent the whole week together but had been too busy returning gifts and cancelling moving arrangements to discuss their feelings at length, and in any case Faye thought it was better to let matters rest for a while. One thing they hadn’t brought up was the future in regard to Simon and Faye—and since Faye hadn’t been alone with him since their brief chat on the front deck of his house, she had no idea what to expect from him. She only knew that her heart ached for him every moment of every day.

  “I know the perfect place, that seafood restaurant overlooking the marina.” Jenna reached for the phone. “I’ll make a reservation.”

  “It’s pricey,” Faye cautioned.

  Jenna lifted her slim shoulders, unconcerned. “How often do we treat ourselves? Besides, I think we could both use a pick-me-up.”

  Faye couldn’t argue with that. Jenna seemed practically giddy about getting her old job back, but calling off one’s wedding was never without qualms or consequences. As for Faye—well, she’d been suffering from an unsettling, directionless feeling, tinged with guilt that lingered despite Jenna’s reassurance that she didn’t blame her for what had happened.

  “You call, then,” Faye agreed, “and I’ll drive.”

  “Did you know your dad has been talking to my mom on the phone?” Jenna remarked, as Faye pulled her car into the parking lot by the restaurant.

  “About what?” Faye wondered, although the attraction between them had been too obvious to miss.

  “Nothing special.” Jenna flashed a wily grin. “They just seem to like talking to each other. Who knows, maybe you and I will be sisters before long.”

  “Wouldn’t that be something,” Faye said with an inward smile as she stepped out of the car, pleased that the non-wedding may have sparked something new and wonderful for her father and Carole.

  Jenna glanced at her watch as they approached the restaurant. “We’re early.”

  “I know,” Faye said, puzzled. “The way you rushed me out of the apartment, I would have thought we were in danger of being late.”

  “Why don’t we take a little detour?” Grasping Faye’s sleeve, Jenna pulled her gently toward the entrance to the marina. “Let’s go look at the boats.”

  “I suppose.” Faye found this odd—Jenna had never expressed an interest in boats before—but followed her friend nonetheless as she strode purposefully down the ramp that led to the docks.

  It was a pretty spot, Faye had to admit. Nestled on the bank of the tranquil False Creek inlet, the marina afforded a panoramic view of the downtown skyscrapers rising just across the water, the coastal mountains a hazy backdrop. The day was shaping up to be clear and hot, the blue sky above a glorious expanse of blue. Faye stopped a moment to admire the view, the gentle breeze off the water stirring her hair around her shoulders.

  Ahead of her, Jenna plunged forward, pacing along one of the rows of docks between the pleasure boats moored on either side, her footfalls resounding on the wooden slats as
she went.

  “Where are we going?” Faye demanded, sprinting to catch up with her. “People don’t want us creeping around their boats, Jenna. We should go back.”

  “Just come on,” Jenna insisted, waving Faye along. “There’s one over here you have to see.”

  Suddenly Jenna stopped to gaze up a sailboat moored at the end of the row, then turned to smile at Faye as she caught up.

  “What do you think you’re—” Faye froze when she glanced at the boat, glimpsing the name scrawled on the hull: Sienna Rose. Startled, she looked higher to see the figure standing on the deck, gazing down at her, the bright noon sun forming a halo behind his head. Blinking, she shielded her eyes with her hand as she stared up at him in disbelief. She hadn’t expected to see him, and wondered for a moment whether he was just a mirage.

  “What are you doing here, Simon?” she asked, bewildered. “Where’s Hannah?” She felt a stab of panic, imagining Hannah somewhere on the boat, out of sight; the toddler had never been on a vessel this size before and the idea of it didn’t sit well with Faye, as she pictured the little girl clambering unseen onto the deck and catapulting into the ocean depths.

  “She’s with my mother, safe and sound at the park,” Simon said, sensing Faye’s unease. Relieved and still surprised, she felt her heart flutter a little as his wide, soft mouth pulled up into a sensual smile. “I’m here for you.”

  Faye glanced at Jenna, catching a wicked grin on her face. “You set me up?”

  Jenna lifted one shoulder. “Let’s face it, Faye, you two belong together. And I can’t think of anyone better to be with Hannah’s father than my dear best friend.”

  Feeling a slow smile spread over her own face, Faye pulled in a shuddery breath, pushing back a surge of emotion that closed over her throat, preventing her from answering.

  “Well I’m starving,” Jenna added, glancing between Simon on the boat and Faye still frozen on the dock. “I’m going to get a bite at the restaurant. There’s a cute waiter I’d like to chat up.” Casting them another smile, she turned to wander back up the dock, calling over her shoulder, “See you guys later.”