Desperation

by Bruno Miller

  Ben turned the truck off and waited. “I guess it’s not gonna let up.”

  “No, I don’t think so. I can’t believe how it’s coming down. All this time with no rain and now this.” Sandy leaned in and stared up at the sky through the windshield.

  “Might as well get it over with, then.” Ben threw the door open and stepped out into a couple inches of water. “If you want, you can wait here until I get into the room.” He slammed the door behind him, trying not to think about the potential toxic cocktail of radioactive chemicals washing over him at the moment.

  At least he could breathe easier out here, a welcome relief from the inside of the Blazer. Part of him was glad they weren’t driving any farther. With the windows up to keep the rain out, the truck reeked of wet dog and who knew what else. On top of that, the glass was fogging up badly and making it progressively harder to see.

  Moving as fast as his knee would allow, he ran around to the back of the Blazer and opened the truck.

  “Sam, no!” Emma tried to stop the dog, but it was no use. Sam took the opportunity and jumped out of the truck. Bajer laid her head over the back seat and watched but was content to stay out of the storm with Emma. Sam ran under the covered vestibule and began sniffing her way along the row of doors while Ben retrieved the crowbar.

  “Can I help?” Sandy joined him at the back of the truck.

  “Maybe give Rita and Carlos a hand and keep an eye out for trouble. I don’t think anyone else is here, but we can’t be too careful.”

  “The rooms looked empty. I was checking as we drove past.” Sandy adjusted the AR-15 on her shoulder and took a step up onto the covered walkway, out of the rain. Ben joined her after he closed the truck. Rita and Carlos were still sitting in their vehicle, but the others had found their way under the sheltered walkway. Gunner chased after Sam, who was already a few doors down by now.

  “Not too far, Gunner, Sam,” Joel called after the dogs.

  “You think we’ll be all right here?” Martin glanced around nervously.

  “You want to camp in this?” Joel pulled at his dripping-wet T-shirt.

  “It doesn’t look too bad in there.” Allie was at one of the windows with her hands up to the glass, looking in.

  “It wouldn’t take much to beat a wet tent.” Sandy looked inside the room for herself.

  “Be careful not to lean on that too hard.” Ben pointed out the large crack running across the windowpane. All the windows were damaged but remained intact, unlike those on the front side of the building.

  Ben didn’t waste any time putting the crowbar to use and was able to pry open the first door much easier than he expected. Joel insisted on opening the other three, and Ben was happy to let him. Meanwhile, Sandy and Allie braved the rain once more and helped Rita and Carlos move into one of the rooms.

  Emma was finally able to coax Bajer out of the Blazer and help the others carry gear into the rooms. The kids decided they all wanted to stay in the same room. In an effort to avoid having to bunk up with her younger brother, Emma asked if she and Allie could share a bed, and Brad was more than happy to sleep with Joel. Ben was fine with the arrangement as long as they agreed to keep the door between the rooms open. He wanted to make sure they actually slept, although he doubted they had the energy for much else, but mostly because they were still kids. And as quickly as this world was forcing them to mature beyond their years, he wasn’t about to let them out of his sight, even if it was just a door between them.

  Having adjoining rooms would also allow the dogs to roam freely between the kids’ room and theirs. Ben was counting on the dogs to be their early-warning system should anyone come snooping around the trucks overnight. He couldn’t in good conscience ask anyone to stay up and stand watch. They were all at their limit. He would stay up as long as he could but knew the reality of the situation. No matter how hard he tried, he could only hold out for so long before his body gave in to the exhaustion.

  At this point, he hoped the rain lasted all night. Maybe not this heavy, though; the parking lot was already flooded. He was thankful for the couple of steps up to the room, that was for sure. But the trucks would be fine, and he liked that they were hidden from the road on the backside of the property. With the motel looking so bad from the front, he doubted anyone who happened through would give the place a second look. That was what he was counting on, at least.

  Chapter Seven

  Martin settled into the farthest room while Rita and Carlos took the room next to the kids. Sandy and Ben took the far-left room closest to the end of the building. Ben made sure the doors between their rooms and the kids’ were wedged open.

  “No, down. Come on.” Ben heard Allie fussing with one of the dogs.

  “Don’t look at me. You’re not coming up here all wet.” Brad rebuked Sam’s attempt to jump up on the bed he was going to be sharing with Joel.

  “Come on, dogs. Come get a drink.” Emma coaxed the dogs to the front of their room and poured them some water from the five-gallon jug they’d filled at the compound. Ben tried to discourage the dogs from drinking the rainwater as much as he could and asked the kids to do the same. They had about fifteen gallons of water on hand, plus their individual bottles, so he wasn’t overly concerned about running out. Not yet, anyway.

  Their water wouldn’t last forever with nine people and three dogs using it, but he was fairly confident there would be opportunities ahead to refill their containers. The northern route he planned on taking would lead them around the southern edge of Lake Erie. A body of water that size should have plenty of tributaries where they could replenish their water supply. It would mean a lot of hand-pumping with the water purifier, but there were others to help with that now.

  Of course, there was no guarantee they would find clean water, but lack of a sure thing was nothing new and had become a part of everyday life. But it wasn’t just finding water that weighed on his mind. For all they knew, Cloverdale no longer existed and had been overrun by looters and criminals. It wasn’t a pleasant thought, not just for the sake of the town, but for Ben and his crew as well.

  As much as he hated to admit it, he was counting on Cloverdale. He told himself he wouldn’t get his hopes up, but it was too late for that. They’d have to come up with a plan B if Cloverdale had been overrun. He wished Rita and Carlos’s daughter didn’t live so far out of the way. That was an option, but not one he’d given much thought to. Again, the main problem was that there was no way of knowing if their daughter’s place had survived. Driving so far out of their way was too big of a risk, and it could end up costing them a couple days of travel.

  Ben watched as Sandy filled her water bottle from the five-gallon jug and headed for the bathroom with the battery-powered lantern. The storm was still raging outside, and although it should have been light out, it looked much later than it actually was.

  She smiled. “Should I say goodnight now? You look like you could fall asleep sitting up.”

  “No, I’ll be here when you get out. I want to clean up a little, too, before I lie down.”

  “Do you want to go first? I can wait.”

  “You go ahead. I want to check in on the others one more time.”

  “Okay. I won’t be long.” Sandy flicked on the lantern and closed the bathroom door. Even though the room windows faced away from the road, they still needed to be careful. The curtains would block the light, but only if everyone was mindful to keep them closed. And Ben intended on making sure they all did just that. He willed himself up from his seat on the edge of the bed with the promise of returning soon.

  He poked his head into the kids’ room first. “Just checking to make sure your curtains are closed.” They were.

  The kids barely paid him any mind and continued with their conversation about the moonshiners’ camp. The dogs were the only ones that gave him any attention, but they went back to napping after a few seconds. Ben was actually glad to hear the kids talking about the ordeal. It meant they were coping with w
hat happened. That was a healthy and welcome alternative to no one ever speaking a word about it again, and it made Ben smile as he left the room. The kids were going to come out of this all right and end up as stronger individuals because of it.

  Ben made his way onto the covered vestibule that ran past the other rooms. The rain had slacked off a little bit, and he was relieved to see the water level in the parking lot hadn’t risen any more since they arrived. He wasn’t overly concerned about being caught in a flash flood, but with their luck on this trip, he wasn’t leaving anything to chance.

  As tired as he was, if it kept raining like this, he’d be up at some point in the middle of the night to check the water level again. He drew in a deep breath of fresh air and blew it out loudly. The rain wasn’t without benefit. The temperature had dropped significantly in the last hour or so and the air felt cleaner than it ever had. He passed Rita and Carlos’s room and knocked on Martin’s door.

  Maybe this was just what everything needed: a good rain to wash away the ash and dust that had accumulated over the last couple of weeks. A grayish-brown blanket of fine particles covered nearly everything. In fact, over the last week or so, in an effort to keep his hands clean, Ben had developed a habit of avoiding contact with surfaces whenever he could. The tactic had only proven mildly successful, though, and most days he gave up. It certainly hadn’t been a concern over the last twenty-four hours, but he was reminded of it now as he stared at the thin film of ash on the door to Martin’s room.

  Ben listened carefully but didn’t hear any sound. Maybe Martin was already sleeping. If that was the case, Ben wouldn’t bother to wake him. He only wanted to remind him to keep his curtains drawn if he used a light, and from the outside, he could see that they were closed. He was about to turn and head back to his room when the door opened. Martin stood shirtless with a towel draped over his shoulders.

  “I thought I heard someone knocking.”

  “Sorry to bother you. Just checking on everybody before I call it a night,” Ben said.

  “No problem. I was cleaning up a little before I hit the hay. Are we taking turns staying up tonight?”

  “No. We all need the sleep. I’m counting on the dogs to let us know if anyone comes around.” Ben shifted his stance and took the weight off his bad knee.

  Martin looked relieved. “Okay, good. I’m so tired I’ll probably be asleep before I hit the pillow. If you wanted someone to stay up, though, I was going to volunteer to go first and get it over with.”

  “Nope. You rest up. Tomorrow’s going to be a long one. Keep your weapon handy, but I think we’re in pretty good shape back here and I don’t anticipate any trouble tonight. Besides, I doubt anyone will venture out in this if they don’t have to.” Ben started to back away from the door. He was anxious to return to his room and give his knee a break.

  “That’s true. I didn’t even think of that. Well, I’ll be ready if you need me.” Martin glanced at his AR-15 leaning against the wall by the bed. The .45 pistol sat close by on the nightstand.

  Ben nodded. “Good, let’s hope we don’t talk again till morning.”

  “Right.” Martin started to close the door but stopped. “Hey, thanks for letting me tag along with you guys.”

  “No problem. Glad to have you with us, buddy. Goodnight now.” Ben turned and walked away as Martin said goodnight and closed his door. Ben was genuinely glad to have the guy along with them. And not just because having him join meant they could carry more gear but because it made them stronger. Martin had proven himself in the firefight at the compound, and it was comforting to know there was someone else Ben could rely on when the chips were down. Martin might not have been the most accurate, but he stood his ground and laid down cover fire. And that was all Ben could really ask for.

  He slowed down as he approached Rita and Carlos’s room but decided not to stop. The curtains were closed and he didn’t want to bother them. They were probably already sleeping anyway. He hoped he wasn’t making a huge mistake by not posting someone on watch tonight; it was a gamble, for sure, but one he thought was worth the risk.

  What choice did they have, really? They had to put some serious hours behind the wheel tomorrow if they were ever going to reach Cloverdale in a reasonable amount of time. The storm had already cut their efforts short today. And as much as he tried to convince himself it was okay and they’d make up some miles tomorrow, it bothered him that they hadn’t made it farther away from the compound.

  Ben looked over at the vehicles one more time before heading inside the room. He took a little extra time and surveyed their surroundings as well. He really was glad they weren’t camping in this tonight. They probably would have ended up sleeping in the vehicles to stay dry. He’d done that before and knew they were lucky to have the motel at their disposal. There was no more thinking about it now. He closed the door quietly behind him in case anyone was sleeping. He was going to tell the kids to keep it down, but he didn’t have to; Brad and Emma were both sleeping, and Joel and Allie weren’t far behind.

  Ben closed the door halfway and placed a trashcan against it to keep it there.

  “It’s all yours.” Sandy was sitting on the bed closest to the bathroom and working on her nails with a file.

  “Great.” Ben didn’t waste any time and grabbed a Nalgene full of water and a flashlight. Sandy was using the lantern and he didn’t want to deny her the better light while she primped. As it was, they didn’t have many luxuries, and there was no telling when they would spend the night in a place like this again.

  Ben washed up as best as he could with water and the small bar of hand soap on the side of the sink. A shower would have been nice, but it was just as well they didn’t have that option because he was too tired to take one anyway. He spent most of his time in the bathroom, cleaning the dried blood from under his fingernails and from the knife Allie had given him in the container. He watched the pink water disappear down the drain and hoped that was the last he ever saw of the moonshiners.

  He toweled off and did his best to avoid looking at himself in the mirror while he brushed his teeth. He didn’t need to see the bags under his eyes and the gray in his beard to know they were there. If he looked anything like he felt, it wasn’t something he needed to focus on right now. He dried the knife off last and threw the dirt and blood-stained towel into the corner when he was done with it. Sandy was half asleep when he emerged from the bathroom and he did his best to cover the small flashlight with his hand.

  He moved the KSG closer to the bed and placed his 9mm on the nightstand along with Allie’s knife. He had intended to give it back to her earlier but wanted to clean the blood off first. He’d return it in the morning.

  Ben turned to tell Sandy goodnight but wasn’t surprised to find her already asleep. He turned the flashlight off and unlaced his boots in the dark, kicking them off quietly one by one. It felt good to free his feet from the confines of the rigid hiking boots and even better to lie down on the bed. He didn’t bother getting under the covers; the softness of the bed and pillow was enough. It was the most comfort they’d been exposed to since leaving Jack’s, and he was out cold before he could formulate another thought.

  Chapter Eight

  The door burst open, sending splinters of wood flying across the room as one of the moonshiners kicked it in from its frame. Ben tried to reach for the KSG but couldn’t get his body to cooperate with his thoughts. He felt trapped by the gaze of his assailant, and all he could do was stare back at the dark blank eyes that leered at him through the lenses of the gas mask.

  Ben felt like his heart was going to explode and sat straight up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat. At first, he didn’t know where he was, and it took him a few seconds to realize he’d been dreaming. He looked around the room, starting with the door, to make sure it really was a figment of his imagination. Rubbing his eyes, he let out a sigh of relief and checked to see if Sandy was still sleeping. She was. Thankfully, he hadn’t disturbed her.

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nbsp; He checked his watch and saw that it was a little after five in the morning. There was no way he’d slept through the entire night without getting up at least once, but his watch didn’t lie, and neither did the small trace of light slipping past the edge of the curtain. He’d meant to check on things at some point during the night, but with the way he felt before bed, unsurprisingly, he’d failed to do that. From the sounds of things, the others were still sleeping as well. At least the kids were.

  They had all agreed as a group last night to try and get on the road no later than 6:30 or 7:00. Ben would have preferred to leave much earlier, but he was trying to be realistic, and more importantly, he didn’t want to start the day off with an unobtainable goal or unrealistic schedule. Even though they didn’t have to break camp or pack much gear before they could leave, he expected everything to take longer with nine people.

  He was tempted to lie down again, and he started to before Gunner let out a low growl from the other room. His pulse quickened once more, and he froze in place and listened. Was the dog dreaming, or did Gunner actually hear something that piqued his interest? A few more minutes of rest would have felt nice, but he couldn’t lie back down in good conscience. Just the thought of someone snooping around outside near the vehicles was enough to get his blood pumping; there would be no going back to sleep now.

  Ben swung his legs over the bed and slowly rose to his feet. The knee was still sore and a little swollen, but time off of it had done him good. A couple more pain pills this morning with his coffee and he’d be in better shape than he was yesterday. His side felt better, too, although it didn’t appear that way in the mirror. The purple and red pancake-sized bruise on his torso looked much worse than it felt. What he originally thought was a broken rib seemed more likely to be just a bad contusion.

  He stuck his head into the kids’ room through the partially open door. Everyone was asleep, including the dogs, all except Gunner. As soon as he spotted Ben, he started to thump his tail on the carpet loudly.