Like a Fly on the Wall

by Simone Kelly

  It was like what I said meant nothing. “Don’t ‘baby’ me. And oh, I’m better than this? Am I better than Kylie? Am I better than Dee?” My stomach churned. My heart sank. I was paralyzed. I felt sick and slightly dizzy.

  She went into her purse. “Here’s your phone, Jacques.” I extended my hand and took the phone from her. “I figured you might be looking for it. You left it on the table. Dumb move. Dumb fuckin’ move! Your hoes left you some reaaaally nice messages.” Her nostrils flared. “You gonna fuck that sucia and then come home to me with a dirty dick on top of that? Then you gonna have this bitch Kylie in our house, smiling up in my motherfucking face like it’s all good when I knew she wanted you. I KNEW IT! When you get home I won’t be there. Trust me on that one!” Vicky’s voice was cracking like she was about to cry. “I’m out. DO. NOT. FOLLOW ME!”

  She kept walking fast and I followed. “I can explain. Stop it. I love you!” I yelled like a lunatic. I couldn’t even believe myself. Everything was crumbling so fast.

  “Stop following me!” Her pace was slower, but still hard. She was crying and talking, and it was tearing me up to see her in pain. “I don’t love you. I love that other guy you pretended to be. Fuck you, Jacques! I’m not going to be taken for a fool. Fuck that!” She pointed her finger at me to stop. I stopped in my tracks and stood there. I made sure she got in her car safely and then turned back in defeat.

  Nausea took me over. I opened my phone to see what she had seen.

  DEE: Hey, handsome. Happy birthday in advance! I wanted to come to town and escape this cold. I hope you have a good one.

  JACQUES: Thanks, Dee. I really appreciate it.

  DEE: I would have loved to see you and finish what we started. I can’t stop thinking about that night. You are so fucking passionate.

  Fuck. My knees weakened as I remembered the conversation. I’d forgotten to delete it.

  JACQUES: Yeah, but you know. That was something that shouldn’t have happened. It was nice, but it shouldn’t have happened.

  DEE: Well, when you are ready for me. Just know, I am soooo ready for you. I’ve wanted you for a long time.

  I never replied. But that was enough for Vicky, I’m sure. No denying that. I couldn’t get out of that one. Then I scrolled to see what she was talking about with Kylie. It was a text she sent earlier that I hadn’t even seen yet.

  KYLIE: Hey you . . . here’s that special dedication for you! Youtube.com/dweleloveyouvideo

  I clicked the link and it was for the song “I Think I Love You” by Dwele. I slapped my head. Are you kidding me? I’m going down for this, too? This was for Vicky, a song I was going to play for her!

  I was so embarrassed. Everyone had watched us having a shouting match. I hate people in my business. Now I look like the asshole boyfriend to everyone and I can’t claim to be 100 percent innocent, since I’d never disclosed the whole Dee encounter. I’m sure if I had told Vicky about that, she would have left then, too. I really didn’t even want to go back inside, but I knew I had to. Following Vicky now wouldn’t be good. She was emotional and I knew whatever I said would just sound like a lie. Those damn text messages! Vicky wasn’t the kind to break or burn up my stuff. She’s a cop, she’s not that stupid. I figured she would probably go over to one of her girlfriend’s houses for the weekend and then cool down. That’s what I hoped for, at least.

  I went back into Sugarcane and everyone was listening intently to Hicham telling a story, as if nothing happened.

  “Hey, I just wanted to thank you guys for coming and sorry for all the drama, just a little misunderstanding. I think I’m gonna go. I just want to go home.”

  Hicham raised his hands in the air. “Come on, man. It’s your birthday! Don’t ruin it. Vicky will cool down. You know how Latina women are, all melodramatic and shit!”

  “Watch it!” Sky shouted with a smile. I swear she seemed almost thrilled Vicky was gone.

  I heard a deep scratchy voice from behind me. “Ayoooo. Happy birthday, Mr. Cleo!” I turned around; it was Antonio. He gave me a pound and slap on the back. I had to laugh. He shook hands with everyone and hugged Kylie. I sat down next to her.

  I slouched in my seat, holding my head. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I hoped Vicky would at least wait until I got home to talk. I decided to stay and not destroy everyone’s night. We all ordered food and I tried to enjoy myself and not think about how I would get myself out of the doghouse. This was the worst birthday I’d ever had in my life.

  Everyone was eating their appetizers and chatting. Antonio seemed fascinated by Sky’s modeling career and she continually groped his biceps as she laughed. Hicham was a bit jealous and decided to flirt with Kylie. Kylie would try to include me in the conversation to have a buffer from Hicham’s intense stare.

  Hicham said, “You good, Jay?”

  “It’s all your fault, you know? Vicky was in my phone, too! Why’d you—” I caught Sky staring at me. “Let’s move for a minute.” I grabbed his arm to walk away from the table.

  “How is it my fault? You are the one with bitches calling you.”

  “First off, they’re not bitches, they’re friends and clients. Second of all, it was a pure misunderstanding. Vicky never goes in my stuff! Kylie sent me a song that I was going to play for Vicky. She took it as if it were a love song Kylie was sending to me. The other text was from a client who flirts with me all of the time.” I left out the details, since when Hicham drinks he tells your business. “My point is, if you thought with your brain and not your dick you would have known it wasn’t a smart move to invite Sky. Vicky trusts me, she never went through my phone before tonight.”

  “Yo, Jay, if you really think tonight was the first time she went through your phone, you trippin’—annnnnd she’s a cop? Niggah, please. She probably got a GPS tracker on your ride.” He put both hands on my shoulders as if he were my mentor. “Player rule number one, never eva evaaaa leave your phone around your girl. Rule number two, always have a password to lock yo’ shit.”

  “I’m not a player, I have nothing to hide.”

  “Apparently you did!” Hicham laughed. “Yo, let’s get back to your party. Let her cool off before she fuck around and put a boot on your car.”

  We walked back to the table, but he grabbed my arm and said in my ear, “Why you ain’t tell me Kylie was that fine, yo? You know I got a thing for them natural sisters.”

  “Stay in your lane, little bro. Not Kylie.”

  “You hit that? She smells like she puts juices and berries in her ’fro. . . . She looks so sexy.”

  “Come on, no! She’s a friend, so noooo. Don’t even try it.” I knew Kylie already wasn’t into him, so thank God for that.

  The party ended up not being as horrible as I anticipated. I still tried to make contact with Vicky and got sent to voice mail twice. Sky and Antonio ended up leaving together and that was no surprise. A few more friends and clients popped in during the night and it was really good to see everyone. Sugarcane closed by two A.M. and we all went to another lounge on the same strip that had really good live jazz. By five A.M. the kitchen was closed and we were all starving. I really didn’t want to go home and I think Kylie and Hicham sensed it. I also knew Hicham was trying to keep her around for as long as he could. So home was not the next stop.

  We were starting to walk to our cars when Hicham said, “Yo, let’s go to IHOP! You wanna roll with us, Kylie?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t like eating this late.” Her lipstick was worn off and her eyes looked tired.

  Hicham’s energy was high, as if he’d just woken up. “It’s not late, it’s morning. The sun is about to come up. Let’s go! Jacques? You down?”

  I yawned. “Well, I think I deserve some pancakes with a lot of syrup on my birthday.” I rubbed my abs.

  “Yeah, it’s not like you will get fat with that six-pack.” Kylie rolled her eyes. “You men lose weight in like two days.”

  When we got to IHOP, we were lucky there was no
wait and we were seated immediately in a small booth. Kylie slid in first next to me and Hicham sat across from her. Our food arrived quickly and we all were eating like we were starving.

  I had a few bites of my blueberry pancakes and the wine started to wear off. Then it hit me. Hicham still didn’t know what we found out about Mom.

  “Hicham, I didn’t get a chance to tell you earlier, you are not going to believe this, but I found some of Mom’s journals and what was in them was so not good.”

  He took a sip of his coffee. “What? Get out of here, what was in them? I want to see them!”

  “I had some of them in the car earlier, before I was ambushed by your massage team.”

  “What?” Kylie laughed, confused.

  I tapped her hand. “I’ll tell you later. Anyhow, she had all kinds of stuff in there about how sad she was, how Dad treated her bad. How she couldn’t stand the sight of him. It was pretty hurtful stuff.”

  Kylie chimed in. “How she fell in love with him but then was in love with Benny.”

  “Wait, hold up, hold up! Did you see them?” He looked at Kylie, then back at me as if he were watching a tennis match.

  “Oh, yeah . . . she was helping me go through them. It was a lot to go through, before you got to Miami.” He folded his arms, listening intently. His jaw tightened and a vein popped out from his forehead. “Well, she had articles on poisons that were undetectable. She was highlighting the symptoms of antifreeze poisoning.”

  Hicham leaned back dramatically. “What! What the fuck kinda evil shit is that?”

  “It was disturbing to know she really planned it. I mean, she was really researching. I’m convinced she did it alone. But you think Benny could have heard her maybe talk about it? I don’t think Benny did it. You?”

  “Man, I wouldn’t put it past anyone. We would never think Mom could pull off something as planned out as that. Don’t sleep on anyone!” Hicham barked.

  Kylie said, “Yes, he might remember something. Ask him.”

  Hicham said, “It’s almost seven A.M., he’s up. Let’s call him right now.”

  “So early?”

  “He told me he gets up at five A.M. to jog. He’s up, man.” Hicham threw a crumpled-up napkin onto his empty plate.

  I shook my head and put my fork down after my last bite. “I don’t want to do it in here. Everyone can hear. And you know you’re too loud.” I waved him to follow me outside. “We’ll be right back, Kylie.” She nodded and went back to enjoying the rest of her omelet.

  We went around the back of IHOP, where it was quiet.

  “Yo, even Kylie saw it before me? Really, Jay?”

  “Come on, don’t start, it wasn’t intentional. Remember, she is a detective in training and a fast reader. She has a good eye for things. She’s been helping us thus far. I brought them today, but you never gave me a chance to tell you.”

  Hicham hit the speed dial and I was surprised to see he had Benny in his phone as “Da NEW Pops.” Benny answered the phone on the first ring, a bit shocked I guess to get a call at 6:45 A.M.

  “Hey, Benny, it’s Jacques and Hicham, sorry to call so early,” I said on speaker phone.

  “Oh helloooo there, is everything okay?” The TV was going in the background pretty loud. He sounded wide awake.

  “Oh well, yes and no. We got some heavy news about Mom and were wondering if you had any insight on it.”

  He cleared his throat. “Oh sure, what is it? How can I help?”

  “We found some of her journals. She had a storage unit, did you know about it?”

  “No, no, I didn’t. What journals?” He was intrigued.

  “Well, in the journals she paints the picture of being madly in love with you and hating my father, but the most startling thing is that we found an article on poisoning and she had antifreeze highlighted like crazy.”

  “Come again? Did you say antifreeze?”

  Hicham said, “Yeah, did Mom ever talk about getting rid of our dad, well I mean . . . Olivier?”

  I corrected Hicham. “He’s still your dad, too. You can have two.”

  “Well, not in a serious way. Antifreeze is making me wonder now. Wow.” Benny released a deep breath. “I used to tell Marguerite about some of the inmates I knew at Rikers and she would grill me for details. She loved hearing about how they got arrested.

  “But this one particular case, I’ll never forget it. He was a heavyweight amateur boxer who was mentally disturbed, had six women and ten children. He was only thirty. He wanted out of all the responsibility. He was being weighed down with child support and lost a lot for not paying.

  “He slowly started to poison the kids one household at a time. Everyone got extremely sick within a few weeks. He said he put it in their juice. He ended up poisoning and killing seven out of the ten children. One of the children actually saw him putting something in their drinks and that is how he got caught. He ended up going to a maximum-security prison, where he eventually was murdered by an inmate.” He paused as if trying to remember.

  “Dear Lord. Marguerite was obsessed with that story, and I remember she even joked around about getting rid of Olivier that way. I just thought she was joking. I could never imagine her doing that! I mean, she would have had to really plan that out.”

  “Well, that’s the thing. Looks like she did, Benny.” I looked at Hicham, whose face was blank from shock.

  “It’s just so unbelievable. I know she loved me, but to kill Olivier? She was a good Catholic woman. Why?”

  There was an awkward silence and Benny sniffled as if he were trying to pull himself together. It was a lot to take in.

  Benny said, “Truth be told, I do feel Marguerite suffered from some type of depression and she drank a lot at times. When she wasn’t submerged in her art . . . Marguerite was angry and she could be dark. She did say how Olivier would hold her captive, was very controlling, and things of that nature. I’m not justifying what she did in any way. But I know he was abusive to her in some ways.”

  “Shit, he probably knew she was doing something. She hid all her life from us, so I don’t know why y’all are so shocked. She didn’t care about anyone but herself!” Hicham yelled, then took a deep breath. “I got my confirmation, Jay. Benny, we good. Thanks for that.”

  “I’m so, so sorry.” Benny sighed.

  I said, “Don’t be sorry, if she didn’t get it from you, she could have gotten it from anywhere. She seemed pretty determined to be rid of my dad. Sad that we can’t hear her side. Well, let’s talk some more tomorrow.”

  “Cool. Let’s do that.” Hicham hung up and put his arm around me. “Come on, Jay, we got a birthday to celebrate and need to forget about how fucked up our family is!” He put his arm around me and we walked back into IHOP.

  I got home around nine A.M. to a half-empty closet. I was convinced Vicky was never going to talk to me. I’d texted and called her more than ten times since the fight. She must have blocked me. My heart hurt but I tried to push the mess with Vicky aside in my mind so I could focus on gaining some clarity today with Melissa. I needed to feel my mom’s presence. I needed to know that she was okay.

  After only a few hours of sleep, I pulled myself together and headed out the door for my appointment. Melissa lived with her girlfriend in North Miami Beach. Her home was very welcoming. A beautiful cottage-style house in a very quaint area on the water. Gated community. Serene. Surrounded by trees for privacy. Bright white and pale yellow walls. High ceilings and huge windows. We’d been friends for years and she was one of the first to really welcome me to Florida’s holistic community with open arms. We met at a Reiki circle meditation and became fast friends from there. She showed me the ropes and introduced me to many workshops and local groups. She also told me who the weirdos were and how to stay clear of them.

  Melissa was one of the most powerful mediums I’d met and she was only twenty-six. We bartered at least once a month and did little check-ins for each other. Truth be told, even psychics like to get
readings. Even when you see the future for others so accurately, it can sometimes be difficult to see things for yourself with the same certainty. My intuition is clearer than most, but I like to get a reading from time to time to get confirmation.

  We vibe off each other, because like me, Melissa was a very old soul. She carried herself as an experienced shaman, African priestess, Native American healer, and cool around-the-way Miami girl all wrapped into one.

  Because she had narrow eyes that sparkled, defined cheekbones, and straight dark hair, I’d given her the nickname Pocahontas. Although she was 100 percent Cuban American with a little hood in her, she could totally pull it off as a Native American. In one of the readings I did for her last year, she was a Native American chief who saved his village from smallpox brought by the white man, I would say to her, “It’s your past life fighting to come back!” In that lifetime she was the medicine man of the village as well and helped heal the tribe. It was no coincidence that in this life, along with doing mind-blowing readings, she also did hands-on healing work and developed her own herbal healing teas.

  Melissa was one of the friendliest people I knew, but was a homebody for the most part. Most psychics I knew were. Limiting exposure to all the crazy energy out there helps us keep our sanity. We tend to form close-knit circles for that reason.

  “Well, hello, Mr. Berradi! So nice to see you, my friend!”

  “And a good day to you, Ms. Vasquez!” I bowed graciously and kissed her hand. She laughed and took me in for a big bear hug.

  Standing at five nine, she was very elegant today. Normally in yoga gear, Melissa was dressed in a lavishly beaded purple-and-gold Indian tunic, wearing no shoes and adorned with lots of gold bangles. She was a beautiful full-figured woman and her magnetic energy drew people wherever she went.