The Other Side of Dreams (Nighstalker Novels Book 1)

by Jennifer Tilson

  I set the cup back on the table. “And you’re so clumsy.” He’s a good sport when it comes to me teasing him.

  “Do you want to talk about last night?” His smile fades.

  I know he can see right through my lie, but I keep it up anyway. “There’s nothing to talk about. Honestly. Your clumsiness just rubbed off on me for a brief moment.”

  “You’re never going to let me live that down are you?” He asks flashing his pearly whites at me again.

  “Never ever.”

  “Then the least you can do is let me buy you some dinner.”

  He catches me off guard, it was so easy to diffuse the situation last night, but this time there’s no way around it. “Will, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I lower my voice as if it will make the blow easier to take.

  “You have to eat, don’t you? You’re not a robot, are you? Oh, my god, you have been a robot this whole time and I never even noticed.”

  I meet his eyes and understand. “Shut up, I’m not a robot.”

  “So then two friends having dinner shouldn’t be a problem, right?” An adorable grin lights up his face. How can I say no?

  “Right, I guess pick me up at seven,” I say against my better judgment.

  “Great, I’ll see you then.” He swivels to return to the table he was bussing and crashes into an older lady walking behind him. I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing as the woman scolds him. She could give old lady Barbara a run for her money. When she finishes reprimanding him, he turns to me with embarrassment blushing his cheeks. “You don’t get to hold this one against me. That was not my fault. She snuck up on me like a ninja.”

  I take a sip of my latte to hide my laughter.

  “And she yelled at me, like seriously yelled. I felt like a little kid caught stealing from his grandma.”

  “Who would steal from their grandma?”

  He shrugs. “It happens.”

  I can’t stifle my laugh anymore. “I guess you’ve suffered enough for this one. Although it would have been fun to see her beat you with her purse.”

  He feigns hurt as he clutches his chest before returning to the dirty table and rag. I watch him wiping it down and feel a tug at the corners of my mouth. I’m lucky to have such a great friend. Reluctantly, I turn my attention back to my textbook and try to focus on the material for my next exam. It’s going to be a long afternoon.

  …

  Even though Will agreed this is just two friends having dinner, I know he wants more. I can’t shake the feeling I’m taking advantage of him. He’s great to be around, we have shared interests, and he’s goofy which always makes me laugh. I just don’t know if I want anything more than that. To reinforce the fact this isn’t a date, I decide to dress casually. Some old blue jeans, a vintage T-shirt, and flip flops should send the right message. I debate swapping out the jeans for sweats, but that seems too obvious.

  He pulls up around 6:45 p.m, blasting three short honks. That must be his way of reinforcing this is just a friendly dinner. For a moment, I consider offering an excuse to cancel, but that will most likely be worse.

  “Where are we headed?” I ask buckling my seatbelt. Even his truck has the same spicy scent.

  “It’s a surprise.” He bounces his eyebrows as he reverses from my driveway.

  One thing I love about Will, there’s never any awkward silence. We can spend time doing absolutely nothing, and it feels normal, comfortable even. We don’t talk in the car, we just listen to the music. I lean back in the seat and prop my feet up on the dashboard.

  “You know that’s incredibly unsafe, right?”

  “Don’t crash and it’s perfectly safe.”

  His knuckles turn white as his grip on the steering wheel tightens. A commercial comes on the radio, and I press the scan button. I hate listening to radio ads, they’re obnoxious and take up more airtime than actual songs. The radio pauses on a station playing Coldplay’s song, Yellow. The irony is not lost on me. I feel him glancing at me, but I keep my eyes looking out the window into the sky. And even now, in this moment, it doesn’t feel awkward.

  When the car finally comes to a stop, we’re at the State Park. He knows me better than he even realizes. I’ve never mentioned it, but this is one of my favorite places in town. There’s a well-kept nature trail I run, a big lake right in the middle, and a gorgeous view of the city from the top of the hill.

  “What are we doing here?” It’s almost sunset which means almost time for the park to close for the night. I’m surprised they actually let us in.

  “Dinner.” His vague answer only makes me more anxious.

  “Are we going to eat grass or do you want us to hunt and cook one of these wild birds out here? I’m pretty sure that’s frowned upon.”

  “Oh no, that’s not just frowned upon. You’ll actually receive a slap on the wrist too. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the misfortune, but it really stings.” He laughs at his own joke and continues leading me up the hill. We pass several people making their way to the exit when we finally reach the top. You can see for hundreds of miles up here.

  “Surprise!” He whisper yells. A pizza box lay waiting on top of a blanket next to a telescope.

  I ignore the fact that it looks more like a date than a friendly dinner. “You have a telescope?”

  “Actually, now you do. I found it a few years ago, at a garage sale for cheap. I never use it, and you said you would like to see the stars up close. This is the best I can do.” He shrugs like this isn’t the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

  “This has to be the best gift I have ever received.” I go straight for the telescope to stargaze, nothing else could make me run past pizza.

  “It’s so beautiful up there. Thank you.”

  He pats the area next to him, and I take a seat on the blanket. Will and I spend the night talking about the stars and finishing the entire large cheese and black olive pizza. I’m surprised to learn he’s so knowledgeable of astrology. I don’t really know anything about the stars or galaxies, I just like to admire their beauty.

  When it’s time to head home, he packs up the telescope and leads the way back to his truck. This time, we have to hop the gate. “Does this mean we’re criminals now?”

  “I’m sorry I had to lead you down this dark and scary path. It’s a lonely road, but I hear there are cookies.”

  “But I already had cookies.”

  “Ice cream?” I smile and nod showing my enthusiasm for the upgrade in dessert.

  When we arrive at my house, he carries the telescope inside and assembles it for me in the backyard. It’s almost midnight now, and I stifle a yawn, having no intention of sleeping anytime soon. The self-inflicted insomnia returns, but for very different reasons. It almost feels pointless, knowing the dream won’t come.

  I boil water for hot cocoa while he’s working on the telescope. The cocoa comes with ulterior motives, of course. I’m hoping he’ll stay and watch a movie with me. Typically in this situation I call Hanna and have her come over, she’s always willing to visit no matter what the time, but I still irrationally blame her for last night.

  “Cocoa?” I gently push the dinosaur coffee mug towards him once he’s back inside the heated house.

  “It’s a little late for hot chocolate don’t you think?” Despite his question, he takes a sip after gently blowing on it.

  “I thought we could watch a movie. It’s really not that late anyway.” I should have taken his lead and cooled the cocoa down. I’m too impatient when it comes to food and beverages.

  He contemplates my invitation, wearing his emotions on his face like he wears his heart on his sleeve. “I guess one movie wouldn’t hurt. Just don’t fall asleep like you did last time.”

  I had forgotten about that. One night he joined Hanna and me for a horror movie marathon. I fell asleep halfway through the second film, and since they don’t necessarily get along, he left right after. It was fortunate too. Otherwise, I would have had to ex
plain why I woke up screaming. “Scouts honor.” I hold my hands up showing no fingers are crossed.

  “You weren’t a scout.”

  “What’s your point? I can still honor their morals.”

  “Ok, ok. We’ll see how long that lasts.”

  I grab a couple pillows and blankets from the linen closet while he starts the movie. “What’s this?”

  “What do you mean what’s this? It’s your movie.”

  “I know that, but what happened to the horror fest?”

  “That’s you and Hanna. If you recall, I don’t like horror movies.”

  “Have I told you lately how lame you are?” I toss a pillow at his face.

  “Only every chance you get.” He yanks a blanket from my arm.

  I wait while he makes himself comfortable on the couch and then plop down next to him. His arm grazes against mine, and the coolness of his skin reminds me of the beach and how we laid there watching the stars, even though it was only for a few moments before he knocked over my drink. I quietly laugh as I remember how frantic he was to clean it up.

  Instead of paying attention to the movie, I’m replaying last night in my head. I keep seeing his face, it’s hazy, but it’s him. I’ve been staring at the same pair of intense eyes for 15 years, but how could he have been there?

  Something funny must have happened in the movie because laughter bursts from Will. He rarely laughs like that, and I catch myself staring. His shoulders bounce in rhythm, which forces a laugh from me. I draw his attention when I snort, and for a few moments, he stares into my eyes.

  “Funny movie.” I turn my gaze back to the screen, but his remains on me. I shouldn’t have asked him to stay, it isn’t fair. I begin forcefully chewing on the corner of my bottom lip.

  “Nadia?” I turn to look at him, and before I can protest, his lips are on mine. They’re soft and cool, just like his skin, sending a chill through my body. It feels nice against the angry skin on my lip, and the chill brings goosebumps to my arms and legs. A slight shiver works its way up my back, bringing me back to reality. I have feelings for him, but I don’t believe they’re as strong as the ones he has for me. I pull away jerking myself off of the couch.

  “I’m sorry. This wasn’t a date, I shouldn’t have.”

  “It’s ok, I’m just actually tired now, so let’s talk tomorrow.” I quickly lead him to the front door, and he leaves after an awkward rushed goodbye. Even if I wanted to sleep tonight, there’d be no hope for that now.

  CHAPTER 4

  I SPEND MOST OF THE following day trying to make sense of what transpired last night, only to confuse myself even further. Part of me isn’t ready to apologize to Hanna, but it’s time I swallow my pride and make the call; I need her help. She’s so elated to come over it extinguishes the worry I had of her harboring hurt feelings over my previous overreaction. Her fists knock against the door as I’m finishing up dinner, Spaghetti and meatballs. One of the few meals I can actually cook without starting a fire. And since all of the smoke alarms are still disconnected from the last kitchen fire, it would be unwise to start another. Never again will I try to sear a steak.

  As soon as I turn the doorknob, she rushes through the door embracing me. “I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever.” She’s always so dramatic. Her arms grip tightly around my body, holding me captive.

  “It’s been a day,” but I have to admit it does seem longer.

  “A day too long. Something smells good in here.” She releases her grip, quickly changing the subject.

  “That’s the garlic bread.”

  “Yummy!” She pushes past me, making her way to the kitchen to help herself to some pasta and half a loaf of garlic bread.

  After we devour the spaghetti, we move to the living room sofa. “So, what is it you need to talk about?”

  “Well, first I need to apologize.”

  “For what?”

  “For being a jerk. I’ve been acting weird towards you ever since the party, and I’m sorry.”

  “No worries, I hadn’t even noticed.” She’s lying, but she wants our normalcy as much as I do.

  “Thanks.”

  “What else did you need to talk about?”

  This is the hard part. Saying it out loud means admitting it happened and admitting I may have lost one of my best friends. “I need to talk about Will.”

  “Oh. My. God. Something did happen! What happened? Is that why you guys left the party so early? And why I didn’t hear from you yesterday?” Her eyes light up as she berates me with questions.

  “Ok, slow down, one question at a time. Nothing happened between us at the party. It was last night. He came over to watch a movie.”

  “And?” She motions for me to continue.

  “And he kissed me.” I choke on the last part.

  “That’s it?” She tilts her chin to the side, frowning.

  “What do you mean that’s it? That’s a lot. I could have just lost half of my friends.”

  “First of all, you have more than two friends.” I roll my eyes as she speaks. “And second, Willy would do anything to stay friends with you, including pretending that little kiss never happened. Even if it killed him inside.”

  I hate the way she says ‘little kiss,’ but she’s right. If I want to forget it ever happened, he’ll pretend it didn’t. But how can I ask him to do that?

  “Thanks, that makes me feel much better,” I reply sarcastically stomping my feet onto the coffee table. Will is the last person I want to hurt.

  “Well…how was it?” She asks ignoring my tone.

  “Nope.” I shake my head refusing to answer her question.

  “Is he a good kisser?”

  “Hanna, stop. We are not going into details about this.”

  “Oh, come on, any other time you wouldn’t spare a single detail.”

  “Any other time, it wasn’t Will.”

  “He was that bad, huh?”

  “No!”

  “That good?”

  “Stop!”

  “Did you feel anything?”

  I kick myself for telling her. If I don’t give her something, she’ll never stop hounding me about it.

  “Yes, something, but it’s not what he feels.”

  “Then it was good?”

  “Go home.”

  She laughs. “Fine, if you don’t want to talk to me about it, you should at least talk to him.” I sigh knowing she’s right. “And if you change your mind and want to share all the gory details, you know where to find me.” She grabs another slice of garlic bread before leaving.

  I don’t want to lose Will as a friend, he’s a great guy, and despite what Hanna says, I don’t have any other friends. At least none that I can to, none as important to me. I decide to be brave and go see him at the coffee shop.

  He’s over by the counter wiping down a table when the bell jingles announcing my arrival. “Hey, do you have a moment to talk?” He looks up at me and freezes. I guess he didn’t expect to see me so soon. After a few seconds, he realizes he’s just standing there with his arm in the middle of the table.

  “Oh, uh.” He looks around the empty shop, “Sure.” He grabs a blueberry scone and follows me over to my usual corner.

  “I want to apologize.”

  He hands me the scone, cutting me off. “You have nothing to apologize for, I’m the one who kissed you. You made it clear you don’t like me that way, but I did it regardless.”

  I cringe. It sounds harsh when he says it like that. “I should have talked to you about it then, explained it. I just need some time to think.”

  “Honestly, I don’t need an explanation.” He smiles, and his dimples melt my heart.

  “You’re one of my best friends Will, and I don’t want to lose you because of this. You’re really important to me.”

  “You’re really important to me also Nadia, let’s just pretend it never happened.” He suggests it without my asking, but a small part of me doesn’t want to pretend it nev
er happened. A small part of me wants to do it again, but the other part, the bigger part, is holding me back.

  “Are you sure we can do that? Just pretend it never happened?”

  “Pretend what never happened?” He hitches his eyebrow before continuing. “Oh and by the way, since you’re not a paying customer you’re going to have to clean up your own crumbs.”

  It isn’t until he tosses his towel in my face I realize he’s being playful. I leave both the towel and the crumbs on the table. “I guess I’m going to have to spend my hard-earned money elsewhere since the customer service here is so horrible.” He pushes my shoulder as I pass him and things are back to normal. Or as normal as they can be at this moment.

  “That would work if you actually spent any of that money here instead of freeloading.” He calls to me before the door closes.

  …

  Two weeks pass and not once does the dream come. If it weren’t so upsetting, I’d find the irony comical. So many years spent trying to stop it, and now that it’s finally gone, it’s all I want. To be back running in that maze, trying to save the man I don’t even know. I feel an odd pull to him. Like we’re connected. Like he needs me, or maybe it’s me that needs him. I’ve kept this feeling to myself, how do I explain to someone that I feel a connection with a random guy from my dreams? But after 15 years, is he really random anymore? I still don’t know who he is or why he’s always in my dreams. Honestly, I don’t even know if he’s a real person. Perhaps he’s just a figment of my imagination, but he feels real to me. I felt his presence that night on the beach.

  I can’t shake this feeling of loss, it’s making me stir-crazy. I need to get out and clear my head for a bit. Since Hanna is busy with Thatcher, again, I decide to go for a run at the State Park. The well-kept nature trail is a great way to forget my troubles, and It’s been a few weeks since the last time I took a jog. I forgot I used to run for fun, not just to prolong the inevitable dream.

  A soft chuckle escapes my lips as I enter the park. It wasn’t long ago when Will and I had to jump the gate after hours. We used the entrance on the opposite side of the park, which conveniently had a bird bath for us to hoist ourselves up. This side has nothing. I’ll keep a mental note in case there’s a next time. Only a few people wander the trail today, and surprisingly, it’s the considerate walkers. I usually find myself stuck behind a group that leisurely fans out and takes up the entire width of the trail. This group politely waves to me, and I return the gesture as I jog past. Bluebirds fly from one tree to another, soft chirps bouncing around, as I breathe in the fresh scent of nature.