Allegra’s brow furrowed as she pondered Tristan’s words. Was it possible that he was right? After all, Adam had been her only lover. Perhaps another man would do as well, would make her feel the same amazing things that he did. It seemed unfair that Adam should be able to do as he pleased, while she withered away in solitude.
Tristan saw that he had struck a nerve, and pressed his advantage. “You’re far too young and spirited to let him cage you so. Am I asking so much when I urge you to defy him, to allow me to love you as you deserve? It will be wonderful, my dear. I’ll make you forget him entirely, I promise.”
Allegra shivered. Tristan’s offer was so tempting, holding the shimmering promise of revenge and also of affection. Despite her attempts to pretend otherwise, she missed Adam’s caresses. But wasn’t one man much like another? At least Tristan cared about her. Why did she long for what she couldn’t have?
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
“You do know,” answered Tristan. “You know that I’m right. Let me show you, sweetheart.”
His warm hand wandered up to her shoulder, stroking and soothing as it went, and his other hand wrapped around her waist, drawing her close. She felt his muscular thigh press against hers through the silk of her dress, and tried to relax. It was so strange, she thought. As fond as she was of Tristan, she didn’t feel the thrill, the need that drove her when she was this close to Adam.
Tristan looked down into her confused eyes and smiled slightly. “Just relax, darling. Let me show you.”
His fingers moved up her neck to her jaw, feathering lightly over her soft skin. She was so vulnerable. He recognized her need, and though he knew it wasn’t for him, he also knew he could turn it to his advantage. Then there would be no turning back.
Allegra drew in a quavering breath as she gazed up into Tristan’s intent face. His touch on her skin wasn’t unpleasant. As a matter of fact, it was quite pleasurable, soothing and at the same time exciting. She gave a tiny wriggle as her nerves responded to the stimulation. Tristan smiled.
“Just so, my dear. Let yourself feel it. It’s wonderful, isn’t it?”
He could still see the shade of doubt in her eyes, and knew that he had to banish it. Soon he would see the fire of desire instead. He sensed that under her innocent exterior, Allegra concealed a passionate nature. It would take only a few minutes to unleash it.
He pulled her closer until she was pressed against his broad chest. His hand moved to cup her little chin and his lips traced a line from her eyebrow down towards her lips, nibbling and teasing, promising her greater pleasures. Allegra closed her eyes, trying to yield to the sensations that were shooting through her body. But her mind, her heart, stubbornly clung to the picture of Adam and refused to let go of it. She gave a tiny sob.
“It’s all right. You’ll be fine. Just relax,” urged Tristan. His mouth touched the corner of hers, urging her to yield to him. Then he pressed his lips to hers, seizing the initiative, demanding a response. He felt her tremble on the brink of surrender and pressed forward, sensing the ultimate triumph.
But then Allegra gave a tiny cry and wrenched her head away from his grip, her bright blue eyes filling with tears that spilled over onto her pale cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I’m sorry, I just can‘t. I don’t know why, but I can’t do this.”
Tristan stared at her, amazed. Why was she resisting him? “There’s nothing to worry about,“ he said trying to draw her close again. “No one will see us. I’ll lock the door.”
“No, it’s not that,” said Allegra, shaking her head, her face full of pain. “I can’t explain it. But I can’t do this with you if I don’t mean it, if it’s just to hurt Adam, to get even. It’s not fair to you. Or to me. I have to be honest.”
Tristan blinked. No one had ever stopped him in the middle of a seduction to discuss the fairness of their actions before. She was just nervous. Another few minutes and she would forget her fears. He leaned forward, determined to erase her silly thoughts with more kisses.
She made a little sound of agony and turned her head. “No, don’t, please. I know that I will give in eventually, but I don’t want to. It’s wrong, wrong for both of us. Don’t you understand?”
Tristan raised his head and glared at her. For all his reputation as a rake and a womanizer, he had never forced himself on a woman. All his companions had been more than willing, and he had never seduced anyone, duchess or chambermaid, without her full consent. He gritted his teeth and concentrated on his need to humble Gravesmere’s pride, but instead all he saw was Allegra’s tear-filled eyes and anguished face. Caroline was right, damn it. Allegra was a woman of honor, who wouldn’t easily give in to what she knew was wrong. And she was staring up at him, trusting him to understand, to let her go. “Damnation,” he bit out.
“I’m sorry,” said Allegra. “You must be very angry with me. I let you think that I would--that I could--well, that I meant to let you have your way with me. But it wouldn’t be fair to you. I think I must love Adam, despite everything.” Her heart twisted as she said the words. She was a pitiful thing, loving a man who felt nothing for her.
“I’m not angry with you,” said Tristan slowly. He released her, his own actions amazing him. He had only to insist, to press his advantage, and she would yield to him. She had said so herself. Sooner or later her scruples would be overcome by his skilled lovemaking. Then he would obtain everything he wanted. His revenge would be complete, and Allegra would have no choice but to become his mistress. He would provide her with a great deal of pleasure before their ways parted. What was it to him if her childish dreams were shattered? Allegra was clinging to an illusion that could never be sustained, and she would be better off if she learned that now.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you were,” she said wretchedly. “I know I’m being silly, but I can’t do this while I have any hope. And as long as I’m near him, I can’t help but think there‘s something I can do to make him want me again.” Her head drooped on her slender neck, like a flower in the rain.
Tristan swallowed and stood up, backing away from the sofa. He couldn’t believe his own actions, but he felt a sudden distaste for himself and his behavior over the past weeks. He had never thought of his seductions as anything but an exchange of pleasure, a game that both people participated in freely. But Allegra was clearly in pain, and despite his determination not to let it touch him, or interfere with his plans, he felt an unwanted sympathy for her.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I didn’t realize he meant that much to you. I thought that I could make you forget him.”
“I wish you could,” said Allegra bitterly. “I tried, but it didn’t work.”
Tristan shook his head. If he left the room now he would be throwing all his plans away. He could still take her. She was distraught enough that if he pressed his suit, she would give in, if only out of loneliness and guilt. But he realized dimly that he didn’t want her in that state. It would be empty and hollow for her, and she would be destroyed. Despite all his anger with Gravesmere, he didn’t want to ruin this beautiful young woman. She had no part in what had happened in the past, and she deserved to find her own happiness.
“I should go,” he said quietly. “I imagine you want to be alone.”
“If you don’t mind. I’m surprised you still even speak to me. I treated you wrongly.” Allegra looked guilt-stricken.
“No, you mustn’t think that,” Tristan countered. “I knew what I was doing. I’ve behaved badly. Please believe me, if I can ever be of assistance to you, let me know.”
“Thank you.” Allegra looked down at her hands, which were twisted together in her lap. A sob broke from her lips. She heard Tristan’s footsteps move slowly out of the room and the door close behind him, and she was alone. She threw herself down on the crimson brocade and wept.
Chapter 23
A Devil's Redemption
In the ballroom, the dance had come to its end, and Adam led Lady Manning away from
the dance floor. She beamed up at him, her eyes glowing. All was going precisely to plan.
“Thank you, Adam. That was delightful. It’s so pleasant to be by your side, where I feel I belong. I’ve loved you for so long, but never until now did I hope that I might one day be your wife. You’ve made all my dreams come true.” She smiled slyly. If it were only guilt that kept him with her, then she would make sure his load was a heavy one.
Adam managed a smile, but had no response. His eyes wandered to the door of the ballroom. He hadn’t failed to notice that Allegra had left the room with Lord Gresham, and his blood boiled at the thought of what they might be doing. He moved restlessly.
Louisa eyed him thoughtfully. She had only to give him permission to do what he wanted to do and all would be over. “Did you see what your wife did?” she whispered. “I’m shocked, Adam. To be so bold in front of all these people. How disgraceful.”
Adam looked down at her, his expression guarded. The thought occurred to him that Allegra was doing no more than he was, flaunting her relationship with Gresham as he was using Louisa. Then he pushed the notion away. Allegra had turned against him first, and she deserved what she got. She was doubtless somewhere now, allowing Gresham free access to her body. He clenched his teeth.
Louisa watched a muscle tic in his jaw, and smiled. “Surely you don’t mean to let her get away with that? You must follow her.”
Adam shrugged. “Her behavior is no longer any concern of mine.”
Louisa reined in her annoyance at his reluctance. “But Adam, if you wish to divorce her, we need evidence. If you were to find her in Lord Gresham’s arms, no one would be able to deny you. This is your chance, my dear.”
Adam frowned. Louisa seemed almost indecently eager for him to find Allegra in a compromising situation. Her eyes glinted sharply, and he wondered if what he saw on her face was greed. But she was right; this was his best chance to secure evidence for a divorce. Allegra had apparently let her desires get the better of her, and had cast discretion to the winds. He had hired men to follow Allegra, but if he could catch her in the act himself, it would be best.
“You’re right,” he said shortly. “Wait here. I’ll see if I can find them.”
He turned on his heel and strode away. Louisa licked her lips in anticipation. In less than an hour she would be well and truly on her way to being Duchess of Gravesmere.
Adam left the ballroom, his face set in a mask of cold anger. He realized dimly that he didn’t truly wish to pursue Allegra, that the sight of her giving herself to another man would destroy the last shred of illusion that he clung to that she might actually care for him. But he had to know, to find the proof that would free him from her and allow him to get on with the rest of his life. He would have no peace, no dignity, until he had rid himself of her presence. He hesitated in the hallway. There was no one about except the servants.
“Did a man and a woman come through here?” he demanded. “She was wearing blue, he was tall and very dark.”
The footman he had addressed stared at him blankly. “I don’t recall, Your Grace.”
Adam cursed. “You’re well trained, aren’t you? Well, I’ll find them myself.” He strode to the nearest door and flung it open. A woman’s voice cried out in alarm and a couple that was embracing on the couch fell away from each other, their clothes in disarray. Adam stormed into the room, bile rising in his throat.
“I see you couldn’t restrain yourself, madam,” he said, and then paused in shock. The woman who gaped up at him wasn’t Allegra, but a certain infamous Countess, and her companion wasn’t Lord Gresham, but instead his friend, Freddie Brocklehurst.
“Damn it, Gravesmere, what are you about?” he demanded. “Aren’t two women enough for you?”
Adam gaped at the couple. The countess clutched her open bodice together with her hands, but her long lashes fluttered at him flirtatiously. He gave a snort of disgust. Was all of society given over to debauchery? He bowed and backed out of the room.
“Forgive the intrusion. I mistook you for someone else.”
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Adam heard Freddie say as the door slammed shut behind him. He looked up at the footman he had spoken to and detected a look of amusement there. Snarling, he moved down the hall, opening the next door with a bit more caution.
A darkened room spread out before him, faintly lit by a few candles in the wall sconces. Silence prevailed, but he saw a figure huddled on the couch, and he moved closer. Even in the dimness he could sense that it was Allegra. Her shining hair reflected the glow of the candles and her skin took on the glow of pearls. Where the hell was Gresham, he wondered.
He stepped on a loose board and the floor creaked.
Allegra gasped and sat up, her hand at her breast. Her eyes widened when she saw Adam standing before her, staring at her grimly.
“Adam!” she choked out, her hands flying to her cheeks in a vain attempt to wipe away the tears. “What are you doing here?”
“I might ask you the same thing,” he answered, looking at her closely. Her silk dress was crushed as though someone had been holding her, and her hair was in disarray. Something had been going on here, he thought grimly. It seemed he was just moments too late to catch her in the act. “Where’s Gresham?”
“He left,” answered Allegra quietly.
It seemed pointless to try to explain to Adam what had happened. It seemed extraordinary, even to her, and there was no reason why her husband would believe her. And any explanation would involve telling him that she loved him, and that was something she couldn’t do.
“So you admit he was here,” snapped Adam. “What a fine gentleman you have there. He uses you and then leaves? He might at least accompany you back into the ballroom.”
“It wasn’t like that,” protested Allegra, a little of her spirit returning. Why did Adam always think the worst of her? He was the one who had turned away from her in the first place.
“No? What was it like?” Adam approached the couch and grabbed her by her naked shoulders, lifting her so that she stood in front of him. Her scent enveloped him, and he closed his eyes. “Why don‘t you tell me all about it?”
Allegra shook her head, her tears threatening to spill over again. “No, Adam. We just talked. And then he left. That’s all.”
“Gresham doesn’t take beautiful women into private rooms to talk to them,” snarled Adam. Black waves of anger beat through his brain. Allegra belonged to him. “What kind of an idiot do you think I am?”
“Adam, you’re hurting me,” protested Allegra, struggling in his grip. In truth, his hold was tight but not painful, but she wanted to move away from him in order to fight the emotions that shot through her at his touch. It was unfair that she should respond to Adam’s mere presence in this way, when Tristan’s experienced kisses had left her feeling so empty.
“Answer me,” said Adam. “Did you feel the same things with him that you did with me?”
“No, of course not,” Allegra cried out. “I haven’t done anything with him, Adam.”
“Liar. But since you enjoy it so much, perhaps you’d like a comparison. I know you enjoyed what we did together. Now you can see how I rate next to your lover. Does he make you feel like this, Allegra?”
Allegra stared up at him, both mesmerized and horrified, as his lips descended towards hers. She gave a tiny cry, whether of surprise or protest she wasn’t sure, and then his mouth covered hers. She knew he was furious, but his kiss was unexpectedly gentle and persuasive. She sighed into his mouth as her body exploded with reaction.
Adam swept her into his arms and carried her to the settee, half swooning as he kissed her.
Later, Allegra stirred on the couch, and she moved Adam’s arm from around her waist, sitting up, as she tried half-heartedly to smooth the wrinkles from her skirt. She closed her eyes, wondering if this time she was pregnant. She didn’t know if she would welcome it or not. To have Adam’s baby would be a wonderful thing, but not if he didn’t lov
e her and cherish her, not if the baby was the only thing he wanted from her. Forcing herself to return to reality, she raised her hands to her hair, hoping to salvage her coiffure.
“Don’t,” said Adam suddenly. “You look wonderful.”
Allegra raised her eyes and looked up at him, searching his face for some sign of his feelings. She saw only confusion and regret in his green eyes. “You don’t have to say pretty things to make me feel better,” she answered, trying not to let her voice shake. “I know how you feel about me.”
“It’s what a gentleman does,” answered Adam, rebuffed by the rebuke in her voice. After what they had just shared, was it too much to ask that she show some tenderness towards him?
Allegra closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The lovemaking that had just taken place had been both exhilarating and heart breaking. It had been marvelous to be back in Adam’s arms, but her response to him, in comparison to her inability to respond to Tristan, had terrified her. She loved Adam desperately, but if this was all he wanted from her, she couldn’t stand it. She needed to know that he loved her in return.
“Save your sweet words for Lady Manning,” she answered, her voice without inflection. “No doubt she will appreciate them.”
“At least I know I can trust her,” snapped Adam.
Allegra flinched at the accusation of infidelity. True, she had led him to believe she was being unfaithful in an attempt to get some measure of revenge for his involvement with Louisa. But why was he so willing to believe it, and why did he seem so angered by it, when he clearly didn’t care for her? “Go away, Adam,” she said softly. “I can’t do this anymore. Go back to your pretty mistress and forget about me.”
“With pleasure.” Adam’s tone was like ice. When she had been in his arms she had seemed warm and generous. But now the cold-hearted woman he had come to know had returned, and seemed completely uninterested in sharing anything more than her passion with him. He felt as though the final brick had been laid in the wall that separated them. Whatever Allegra’s motivations were, he couldn’t figure them out. He turned on his heel and strode towards the door, anxious to be out of her tantalizing presence.
A Most Unusual Situation: A Traditional Version Georgian Romance (The Gravesmeres Book 1) Page 22
