Secrets & Admirers

by Allie York

  I crossed my arms, shaking my head at Beck’s smug smile. His nose was taped up, he had staples above his eye, and three broken ribs. Stupid asshole. I told him Karen Tolley was bad news; the woman had been bad news for years, but what does Briggs know. Not a damn thing. I stood by while they discharged him and he talked with the officers. My twin might as well have been flirting with them. They laughed and patted his back, letting him walk right out after being in a public, drunken fight. The pissed off husband dragged my brother, half naked and intoxicated, out into the street to kick his ass. Maybe the officers knew it was just a matter of time before a husband did worse than total Beck’s car and face.

  I got in and slammed my door, unable to even look at Beck. Neither of us spoke until we were nearly home.

  “Ma pissed?” Beck cracked his knuckles. I hated that habit, but he did it all the damn time. It was like the asshole knew it irritated me and made a point to do it more. Every goddamn thing he did irritated me especially when I was picking him up in the middle of the night, again.

  “Got your ass handed to you, didn’t you?” I swung into the driveway, throwing it into park and turning to leer at him. “Beck, I don’t care who you fuck, but this is the last time I drag myself out of bed to come pick you up. So, next time, leave Ma and I out of the equation, and call someone else. Make a friend solely for this purpose.” With that, I got out, slammed the car door, and walked up the dark path to the house. I didn’t want to hear his bullshit excuse or watch him swagger up the walk like he had just won a gold medal.

  Ma left the porch light on but was in bed, thankfully. She didn’t need the reminder that Beck was just like Dad. She had seen enough violence while our father was alive and didn’t need midnight phone calls to pick up her kid; her grown-ass kid that still acted like a thoughtless teenager. The next morning would be full of Beck’s half-assed lies and her scolding him like a child, but for the night, I didn’t have to hear it.

  The house was dark and quiet. I’m not sure when Beck came in; I was laid back on my bed with Murphy, my black lab, and flipping to a free page in my notebook. He could sleep in the Prius for all I cared. I toed my shoes off the end of the bed, found the next page of the hand-held notebook, and snatched my fountain pen from the mug on my side table. Call it feminine, but I had an affinity for fine stationery. My job as an architect meant I was always drawing and planning, so why not use the best products when doing so? I made a quick note to text Ewan in the morning, to call Kurt to set up the next week’s personal training, and put everything back. I hadn’t seen Ewan since I moved to the new firm across town when I sold my condo. He was an accountant in the building I transferred from and we hit it off. Hell, I even went to his wedding. Since then, we had been too busy to grab drinks, and I needed to change that. Being slightly anti-social meant I pushed people out inadvertently. I had to take special care to contact people and not let friendships fall to the wayside. My claim to the introvert throne was also why I was single. Women wanted men like Beck—funny, charming, and flirtatious. I was more reserved. A lot more reserved, and a lot less cocky. Ewan had a growing family and very little free time, but surely we could squeeze something in soon.

  I cursed my alarm the next morning, between being up late with insomnia and trips to collect my asshole brother, the gym would be brutal, but I needed to go. I packed my work clothes, shot a text to Ewan, and ran out the door with my coffee. Beck usually went with me but was obviously in no condition to work out, so I was on my own. The upside was that he was on his own explaining his ass beating to our mother.

  Griffin was already on a treadmill when I got in, so I took the one next to him. We exchanged a very masculine chin lift and commenced to working out in silence. Griffin owned the tattoo parlor in the neighborhood, just down Broadway, and was friends with practically everyone. He was heavily tattooed and really intimidating but the nicest guy ever. We met in the gym’s boxing ring and had weekly training with Kurtis, the best personal trainer in town. Neither Griff nor I were big talkers, so our friendship was quiet and slightly violent. Griff jumped off first and jerked his head at the basketball court. Jacob met us there, playing a few games of two-on-one while I filled them in on Beck’s absence. It really was a small world where we were concerned. Jacob and Ewan had married sisters—and I ended up at both weddings without a date—and Jacob was Griff’s high school math teacher. Jacob was the most responsible man I knew; Griffin was more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of guy. Even Griff knew Beck was asking to have his ass handed to him though. Jacob grumbled about Beck being the dumbest kid from the neighborhood we grew up in, and I wholeheartedly agreed. Jacob was a few years older than us growing up, but when you’re kids playing kickball, that shit doesn’t matter. It matters even less when you’regrown.

  When my phone buzzed again to notify me that it was time to work, I showered, changed, and headed out to find my car with a giant dent in the driver’s side. I looked stupidly around the parking lot like I was going to magically find the asshole that hit me. No note, no evidence other than red paint, and no way to find out who had done it. From the height, it looked like a truck or SUV. Fuck. I grunted, kicking my car with my dress shoes, and checked the time. I had been at the new office for two whole months and was about to be late. I hated being late. Snapping a few pictures, I jogged while calling my mechanic to the nearest bus stop three stops up from my house and left a message for him. Albert never answered his phone.

  I climbed on the bus, paid the driver, and flopped into a seat in the back. Between the car, Beck, and being late for work, it was shaping into a great day. It was not even nine and I needed a drink, a stiff one. Maybe Beck was onto something about needing to get laid. I as practically a born-again-virgin at the rate I was going, but the idea of that kind of workout sounded amazing right then. Penny had been the last action I had seen and that had been months before—hell, it had been over a year. Not that I had a lot of self-confidence anyway, but she had taken the bit I did have and shredded it. I was no leper, but the scars and my generally reserved nature made getting laid more difficult. Plus, I was a little more selective than my brother and Griffin. Jacob had found his woman and loved to rub it in our faces, so did Ewan. If I ever found what they had, I would make sure every asshole in the city knew how lucky I was, but I had given up on ever finding a woman. Hell, I didn’t even bother looking anymore.

  I had called my insurance agent, sent pictures of the accident, and had my notebook out to write down details when another small group of people got on the bus. Brand new fucking car with a giant crater in the side. I decided to pay attention to the front of the bus since my stop was coming up, and obsessing over my crushed car wasn’t helping matters. I was very glad I looked up when I did. The last woman to get on was easily the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and my pen stopped moving above the paper. She had long black hair in a braid down her back and the most striking brown eyes. Her tattered jeans were tucked into lace-up brown boots and the oversized tan sweater she wore swallowed her whole. I watched from my seat in the back as she settled directly behind the driver, patting him on the arm as she went, and promptly pulled a book out of her fringed leather bag. She shrugged off the sweater, crossing her legs in the seat, and I moved back to my notebook, flipping to a clean page. I wrote down every detail of the beauty’s appearance I could describe, forgetting the car information. She read Charlotte Bronte with her complete attention and the rest of the bus was immersed in one electronic or another, so I felt pretty comfortable just staring. And stare I did.

  At my stop, I had to shake off my haze and make my way past her to the front. The woman never looked up from her book, but I got a better look at her face. Her facial features were strong but soft and delicate. She had a smudge of pink paint just beside her nose and feather earrings that dusted her shoulders. I stepped off across the street from Parnell architectural firm and watched the bus go by and down Broadway. For a second I thought I had been dreaming. No way a woma
n that perfect, that gorgeous, had just gotten on the bus I happened to be riding. Once the bus vanished, I crossed the street and climbed the steps to the glass double doors.

  Day 1: I’m in love and I may have officially been pushed over the edge of the brink of insanity. Like my brother being a constant burden and my mother being ill aren’t bad enough, I have a car that was smashed like a tin can and now I am obsessing over a woman I don’t know. She’s beautiful. Her skin is this warm caramel color, her eyes are the deepest brown, and everything about her is striking. How am I supposed to work today and sleep tonight knowing there is a woman out there, so close to me, that looks like that and doesn’t belong to me? Belong to me. What an insane phrase. You can’t own a person, but if you could, I would need it to be her.

  The words I wrote bounced around in my head until lunch when I had to deal with the mechanic, the insurance, and the police. I filed a report, picking at my hibachi, and getting more pissed by the second. What kind of asshole hits someone’s car and doesn’t leave a note? It wasn’t a little tap, either. It was a big fucking dent in the driver’s side. Ewan texted me back, apologizing for not getting with me sooner, and we talked through the rest of lunch. He updated me on his growing family, bragging about his twins and their mother. The man was lucky to say the least. Gorgeous wife, beautiful kids, and a great career. Even if I didn’t really want a family, at least Ewan was getting laid. Between cleaning up after my moron brother and helping Ma, my love life was on the back burner. My appearance didn’t help matters. As long as I was dressed there were no issues, but when the clothes came off, things were different. Even my former fiancé had issues with the scars I carried, so picking up a new woman was not easy. Penny insisted on lights off the few times we were naked in the same room. Plus, I wasn’t charismatic and outgoing like Beck.

  It was going to take at least half the week to get my car back in shape and instead of a rental, I went with riding the bus. I could have ridden with Beck, but that would have required far more patience than I possessed, and I got to see her. My dark-haired beauty on the bus. The following day was the same. I hit the gym, ran to the bus stop, and waited. She walked up the stairs, smiling at the driver, and took her seat directly behind him. The overcast day dissipated with her smile. It was like this warm glow came from inside her, filling spaces in me I had forgotten.

  Day 2: Insane describes me perfectly, and I mean bat-shit-fucking-crazy. I’m riding a bus full of people I have no desire to talk to or sit with, only to get a glimpse of the beautiful woman I saw yesterday. A normal man would walk over and talk to her. I am no normal man though. I’m the one who sits in the back and admires from afar. Her skirt is long and colorful with beads sewn into it and the bulky brown sweater hides what I imagine is a tiny frame. She’s short, far shorter than me, but I’m also 6’3”. The situation reminds me of a screwed-up Beauty and the Beast.

  “Dude, put a fucking shirt on!” Beck snapped at me when he came into the game room, also shirtless, and curled his lip. I ignored him and took my shot. The cue ball scattered the triangle, sending colored balls ricocheting around the table. I surveyed the scene and set up for my next shot. Beck threw my shirt at me, hitting me in the face. So fucking childish.

  “What the fuck, Beck?” I slung the shirt down and took my shot, putting three balls in pockets. I looked down at the scar taking up most of my chest and part of my shoulder. It was hideous, but I was in my own damn home. I growled in my throat at him and set up my next shot, leaving the shirt crumpled on the floor. It was pretty fucking rich that the scar bothered him considering I was saving his sorry ass when I got it. I went on with my game, ignoring my brother playing darts. We were both pretty screwed up, but Beck was like a petulant teenager where I was responsible to a fault. It was like we both overcompensated.

  Chapter Three

  Harriet

  My entire first day in my new city was spent in bed, wallowing in my misery for the first time in my life. The sun was out and it was beautiful, but I finally let the overwhelming feelings of self-pity pull me under. I slept on and off, but I mostly stared at the white ceiling and light yellow walls. When I dragged my sorry self out of bed, Rae and Nick were having breakfast with George. Without a word, she handed me a mug and slid a plate toward me. The pancakes were already soaked in syrup and I realized that I hadn’t eaten in a really long time. There were probably eggs in them, but I ate the pancakes anyway, my stomach growling loudly as I took my first bite. We ate in relative silence. Rae reminded me that I had an interview, and they left me alone with a copy of the house key.

  I made it to my interview with time to spare and was greeted by Jim, the director. I had tried to tone down my normal wardrobe choice and just wore a plain dress with boots and a sweater. He didn’t seem to care either way. They needed a makeup artist and I was a good one. Jim gave me a tour of the mortuary, asking when I could start while I filled out paperwork. Jim didn’t even let me demonstrate. One stack of paperwork and a handshake later, I walked out the front door with a full-time job that included benefits and a retirement plan. I pulled the book out of my bag, flipped to my strip of paper to check the next thing I had to do, but was distracted by commotion across Broadway.

  The brick building was cute with round hedges and a wooden ramp leading to the door. The flashing open sign had a paw print on it and the teal lettering on the door dubbed it “The Dog House”. A woman was out front with two giant dogs, trying to drag them up the ramp toward the door and having very little success. I put my book back in my satchel and jogged over. The two furry dogs started jumping all over me, licking my face and barking excitedly. The older woman started apologizing, but I took the leash for the larger dog and started up the ramp, ensuring her that it was fine. The sight inside was even more chaotic. A man with a small dog was waiting by the register, the phone was ringing, and the woman behind the counter had a baby strapped to her back. The man’s yappy dog made it impossible for anyone to hear, but the baby slept right through it.

  My impulsive side took over and I stepped behind the gate, grabbed a pen and the phone. The woman running the front looked at me like I was crazy when I answered the phone and took a message. It rang again immediately after and I did the same thing. I motioned for her to check her clients in and kept answering the phone as the calls rolled in. I didn’t even know why the dogs were there, but I knew how to take down a name and number for a call-back. The stunned woman did what I instructed but kept her eyes on me like she was waiting for me to rob her or something. Another woman walked around from the back with a man just as it settled down, both soaked from the knees down and covered in mud.

  “Who the hell are you?” the red-headed woman demanded, wiping her hands down her jeans. I slid the messages to the woman at the front and stuck my hand out.

  “Harriet. Sorry I intruded, it just looked like you needed help and I am really bad about inserting myself.” Only then did I realize how bad I had overstepped. Shit. The man burst out laughing and then the two women joined him.

  “I’m Jovie, the owner of this fine establishment. My sister, Lydia, and her husband, Jacob.” While she had one baby snoozing on her back, another slept in a swing around the corner. “You don’t need a job, do you? Because I have a groomer late as hell, a water leak, and a business partner on vacation.”

  We finished making introductions and I stayed chatting with them for a while. They welcomed me to town and, Lydia, the redhead, asked me about my new job across the street, completely fascinated with my love for the dead. Her husband, Jacob, offered to go get us coffee and Jovie showed me the computer system despite me turning down the job offer. When the babies woke up, I was introduced to Norah and Ruby. I played with them, laughing, and cuddling the little chunky girls. Jovie’s husband came in apologizing for running late about an hour later and introduced himself.

  “You look familiar.” Ewan’s thick accent made him even more beautiful. Jovie was a lucky girl.

  “I’ve been in tow
n for less than seventy-two hours.” I shook my head. He shrugged, collected his babies, and left us to talk more. The late groomer, Cori, came in apologizing and talking about a sick daughter. She immediately zeroed in on me, asking who the “hippie bitch” is and demanding Jovie tell her why I was there. Cori had obviously had a rough morning and I was the prime target for the anger. Once Cori was confident that I wasn’t there to replace her, she was a little nicer but didn’t seem to like me very much. Jovie was a different story. That girl acted like I was her long-lost sister. I agreed to come by the next morning to help with some things and to bring coffee on my way in; that seemed to smooth things over with Cori even more. I wanted her to like me. I actually wanted all of them to love me. If I was going to work across the street, I should at least play nice with the neighbors.

  My first week in Tennessee went by pretty painlessly. I wandered around in the crisp air, learning my way around my new city and meeting people. By day five, I had made friends with Griffin at the local tattoo place, Mitch at the coffee shop, and Ruth and Faye at the library. Rea’s house was right outside of downtown and I could walk or take the bus. I didn’t need a car—didn’t want one. Everything I needed was right down from Rae’s on Broadway and while it was busy, it had a family feel amongst the businesses. Cori finally decided that she liked me, and while Erica took a little longer, she started accepting my gift of coffee too. Rae called it my super power to just make friends with strangers, but it took years of practice and a desperation for contact. My new friends were all I had after my mother’s death, the eviction notice, and a cheating boyfriend, so I was going to collect as many as I could. Maybe my Karma had finally taken a turn, maybe the sad events leading me to my new home meant a brighter future.