But I don’t allow my mind to go there because that would just get my hopes up for something that may not be.
“That would be awesome.” I grin, before shaking my head. “But she’s not. What gave you that idea?”
She shrugs before leading me towards the staircase. “She looked like it. Plus, I just figured that’s why you were marrying her.”
From behind her, I roll my eyes.
Avery doesn’t even remotely look pregnant, and plus? That would hands down be the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from winning back her love and having Jacks in my life.
But Mara wouldn’t understand that, nor do I feel the need to explain myself to her. She’s probably one of the most self-absorbed people that I’ve ever met, and would never understand the idea of actually loving someone for who they are and not for what they can give you.
What we had was never serious, it was always only about the sex. I would be lonely and need a fix, and she was always more than willing to give it to me.
There were never any feelings, or strings attached. It was always just a guaranteed booty call.
“She’s up here?” I question, as Mara sashays her hips up the staircase and towards the landing.
“Yes, of course. She needed to lay down.”
“Jesus,” I mutter, feeling like a royal asshole that Avery was this sick and I had no idea. She seemed completely fine earlier.
Maybe it was something that she ate...or maybe our hour-long romp in the closet...
I follow Mara to a door, that she cracks open slightly before nodding her head inside.
“She’s in there.”
“Alright. Thanks, Mara.”
“Of course.” She winks at me, as I step into the room.
But before I’m two steps into the room, the door slams shut behind me, and suddenly, Mara’s hands are all over me.
“Oh, Eric, we can cut to the chase now. She’s not in here, it’s just you and me.”
Before I can even get a word out, her dress is dropped to the floor, leaving her in nothing more than a pair of red lace panties that are barely covering anything.
Her large, milky white breasts are out and completely exposed to me, as she tosses her head over her shoulder and grabs ahold of my neck.
“Jesus. I’ve missed you so much.” She murmurs, before pressing her lips to mine.
I jerk back, pushing her away from me, but she is nothing if not persistent. Her breasts are pressed back against me in about two seconds flat.
“Mara, what the fuck?” I pull away, as she pouts, but continues to come towards me.
“Oh, Eric, come on. You don’t have to pretend anymore. There’s no one else around, watching. We can still do this, and I promise. Your fiancé will never find out. You know me. My lips are sealed.”
She pretends to zipper her mouth shut, before grinning wickedly at me and dropping to her knees in front of me.
“They can also be sealed around this too.” She reaches up, grabbing my cock through my pants and groaning, before tugging hastily at the zipper.
“Fuck,” I growl, jumping back from her, even as she jumps to a standing position and follows me towards the door.
“Eric, really? You’re going to say no to this?” She motions her arms down her body, which honestly, is a damn fine one.
But she doesn’t hold a candle to Avery, and plus? Mara was only ever someone that I spend my nights with.
She was never someone that I loved, and no way in hell could she ever mean what Avery does to me.
“Listen. Mara. I appreciate the gesture, really, I do. But I’m not a single guy anymore. I’m in love, and I’m getting married. What we had was just sex, and, I’m not in that place in my life anymore. So, this?” I motion between her body and mine as I pull at the door.
“This can never happen again.”
“Oh, fuck you, Eric!” She reaches down for her dress, snatching it off the floor before turning angry green eyes my way. “Go ahead and go home to your little piece of trash. But you will get bored of her, and maybe? I won’t be around waiting for you when that happens.”
“She’s not a piece of trash. She’s the most important person in my life. I’ve loved that girl since I was seventeen. And honestly? You may think you’re something, but I fucking promise you. After having Avery? I’d never go digging through the trash for a piece of you again.” I mutter, before reaching up and trying to pull my shirt together minus the buttons that she ripped off.
I slam the bedroom door behind me and turn towards the stairs so fast, that I totally miss the snap of the camera, catching me at the all-time worst possible moment.
“AVE’S.” I SWING OPEN the door to our bedroom, my adrenaline still pumping from the very fucked up encounter that I just had with Mara, before stopping dead in my tracks at the sight in front of me.
“Baby?” I question, as I stare at the suitcase open on our bed, watching in horror as she shoves her clothing inside.
“Oh, Eric. Hey.” She barely even looks at me before grabbing more clothing off the bed and adding it to the suitcase.
“Ave’s, baby. You gotta help me out here. What in the hell is going on? Why did you just leave the party? And why in the fuck are you packing?”
“I really don’t want to do this right now. I didn’t expect you until later. I figured we could talk about it in the morning.”
“Listen, baby. I can explain, ok? Just, stop for a second and listen to me.”
She freezes, before spinning towards me.
“Explain what, Eric?”
“Mara...is this because of Mara? Is that why you’re leaving? Baby...she cornered me. I was looking for you, and she...”
Her face turns sheet white, as her eyes widen. She takes a step closer to me, before swallowing hard, and reaching up, touching the spot on my shirt which no longer has buttons.
“Oh my god.” She breathes, before narrowing her eyes. “You fucking asshole.”
“Baby, no. No, no! Listen. I didn’t do anything. She threw herself at me, and...”
“No?” She reaches up and shoves me hard, before her eyes turn wild.
“Look at you! Your shirt is ripped open, and you have bright red lipstick marks on your neck. I should have known better than to trust you. I should have fucking known!”
“Avery!”
“No! No, no, no. Just, don’t Eric, ok? You don’t need to explain anything to me. Frankly, I don’t even want to hear whatever bullshit excuse is about to come out of your mouth. All you ever do, is spew bullshit!”
“You don’t know anything, because you aren’t listening to a damn word that I’m saying! I’m telling you, that nothing happened. But you? You were already here, packing before you even saw me. So, what the fuck, Ave’s? Why were you running away this time? What was it? Because the last time that I saw you, you were in love with me. And then I come home, and you have half of your shit packed up, ready to run away without a fucking explanation. So, what gives?”
“I just realized that this is never going to work out. And now?” Her eyes narrow before leveling with mine. “Now I’m certain that I was making the right choice.”
She turns her back to me and storms to the closet, wrenching it back open and grabbing things before tossing them back into the suitcase.
“Oh, you just realized that? So, it’s only your decision now, is that how this works? You just decide that you’re done with me and I’m supposed to be ok with that?”
“And I’m just supposed to be ok with women throwing themselves at you?”
“Like I can help that!”
“Oh, my god. You are so fucking full of yourself.”
“I’m so... fuck this.” I shake my head, before storming towards the bed. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. Stop.” I grab the suitcase before chucking it off the bed and across the room.
“Jesus, Eric!”
“You are not going anywhere. Not until you tell me what in the fuck is going on.”
“Are you even gonna listen to me?”
“Sure, I’ll listen. Probably not going to believe a fucking word that you say, though.”
I open my mouth to start explaining myself, when she shakes her head and holds up her hand.
“You know what? On second thought? I don’t even want to do this right now.”
“No?” I throw my hands up, before I nearly fucking lose it. “Tough shit, baby. You are not leaving this fucking house until you tell me what in the hell is going on!”
“It’s just not going to work, ok? This, us?” She motions between us before shaking her head. “It’s not going to work. We could never make it work, Eric. There’s no sense in dragging it out. I think we both know...”
“We don’t know a damn thing! You seem so fucking sure that it isn’t going to work out, but me? Fuck, Ave’s! I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life! I love you. I love Jackson. The two of you are the only fucking thing that I want, for the rest of my life. What do I need to do to prove it to you? What else can I possibly do? What else do you need me to say? I love you, Avery. I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my fucking life with you, and only you. What do I need to do to make you see that?”
“Well, for starters, you could stop fucking cheating on me.”
Silence fills the room, as our eyes lock, both of us widening our stance and crossing our arms.
“I did not cheat on you.”
“How in the hell do you do that?” She shakes her head, as her breathing turns ragged. “How can you stand there, and look me in the eye like that, and lie...right to my face!”
“Because I’m not lying.”
“It is a lie. I’ve watched you cheat on me, Eric. Are you forgetting that? I’ve seen it. With my own two eyes.”
“We are always going to go back to that, aren’t we?”
“Once a cheater, always a cheater.” She slams the top of the suitcase shut before beginning to zip it. “And I’m done giving you chances. I should have never trusted you this time. Shame on me.”
“Jesus.” I sink down onto the bed, placing my head in my hands, trying to force myself to calm down. Trying to make myself think a rational thought. Because right now?
I’m so fucking furious that I might just explode.
I inhale sharply, before blowing it back out, and finally, letting my eyes travel up to her.
She’s standing in front of me, her arms wrapped around her small frame, staring down at me with wide eyes as her lip quivers.
If I could go back in time, I swear to god, I would punch college age me right in the nuts. Repeatedly.
Because that asshole wrecked something that would have been my everything, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to fix the damage done.
“Can we please stop yelling at each other, and talk about this calmly? Like adults? Because I really do not want to do this with you, Ave’s.”
She exhales slowly, before shaking her head.
“Eric, I just can’t right now.”
“What happened tonight? Something had to have happened, because before the gala, things were good. And then...fuck. You agreed to marry me. But somewhere in between there, things changed, and I’m sitting her totally blindsided. You already had your mind wrapped around leaving me, before I even stepped foot into this bedroom. So, what happened, Ave’s? You’ve got to talk to me. I know that you don’t owe me a damn thing, but please. Please help me figure this out.”
“I just realized tonight that no matter what, you could never be just mine. You have women throwing themselves at you all the time. And then? You come strutting in here like this? Covered in another woman’s lipstick, and you actually think that I’m just going to look past that? Eric. No. I’ve let you make a fool out of me too many times in the past. And I’m done. This?” She motions between us and around the room.
“This is done.”
“No.” I stand up, storming across the room to her, and wrapping my arms around her.
“We’re not done. We’re never going to be fucking done. Because I can’t fucking live without you.”
“Well, you better learn fast then.” She shoves me away hard before turning and storming to the door. “Because as soon as the sun comes up, I’m fucking out of here. And I don’t ever want to see your face again.
I DIDN’T SLEEP A WINK. I tossed and turned the entire damn night, before finally, getting out of bed and heading down to my gym.
I’ve run over ten miles by the time that the sunlight starts streaming through the windows, but still I don’t stop.
I continue to push myself, trying to run off the feeling of dread that sits in the pit of my stomach.
But no matter how hard I push myself? That feeling will not fucking leave.
Because I already know exactly how this is going to play out.
She’s going to leave me.
I know that she is. I can feel it in my soul, and I know that there isn’t a damn thing that I can do about it. I planned on coming home last night and explaining what had happened with Mara, but now I know it doesn’t matter what I explain.
She’s never going to believe me.
I’ve hurt her too many times in the past, and this time?
Even though I didn’t intentionally do anything, it doesn’t even matter. All it took was one issue, and she’s already out the door.
I’ve got to be honest with myself here.
She’s had one fucking foot out the door this entire time. She’s always been just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for me?
It’s done nothing except leave me uneasy.
I love that woman...good fucking god I love her more than it’s possible to love another human being.
But I also can’t continue, knowing that she would leave me in the blink of an eye.
I’ve gone through so many damn emotions in the course of the night. From feeling completely and utterly crushed, to also being filled with so much damn rage that she won’t even listen to a word that I’m saying.
Part of me hopes that she will wake up today with a new outlook and maybe be ready to hear me out, because she meant what she said when she told me that she trusts me.
But deep down, I already know that no way is that going to happen.
Because no way, in this world, is Avery going to ever actually trust me.
I know that I’m the reason for it. I know damn well that I fucked up in the past. But the thing is, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I love her or much affection I show her, I can’t change it.
I can never change our past, even though I want to.
If I could, I would take it all back, in a heartbeat.
But I can’t. And no matter how hard I try, and no matter how much love I show Avery, it doesn’t matter.
Without trust, this could never work out.
I shut off my machine when I hear the stairs creak. I take a ragged breath, before forcing myself to walk to the entry way on my already spent legs.
Avery stands there, in the hallway, looking sheet white.
“Hey.” I approach her slowly, but as she turns?
Her face stops me in my tracks.
“How could you?” she whispers, tears streaming down her face.
“What? How could I what?”
The dread that has been building in me all morning spills over, as I glance down and see her suitcase sitting at her feet.
“You know what?” she shakes her head, before handing her phone to me. “Last night, before I went to bed? I prayed to God to give me a sign. To show me what in the world I was supposed to do. And then I wake up to this?”
I glance at the phone and my blood runs cold.
On the screen, pure as day, is a picture of me, my pants disheveled, leaving a bedroom. And in the background...
Fuck.<
br />
In the background is Mara. You can’t see her face in the picture, but I know exactly who it is. Her face is blurred but it’s obvious that behind me stands a woman’s naked body.
And it looks awful.
“This.” She shakes her head before wiping away her tears. “This is why your shirt was ripped open. This is the reason that you had lipstick all over your neck. This is why I can never be with you. Because you tried to profess your love to me last night, when you had just finished doing this.”
“Avery, let me explain.”
“No.” She shakes her head before holding up her hand. “Please don’t. I really don’t even want to hear it.”
“You need to hear it. Because this looks bad. But I swear, it’s not what you think.”
She half snorts before wiping at her eyes.
“I don’t even know who I’m more pissed off at right now. Me, or you. Because I knew better, Eric. I fucking knew better than to ever get wrapped up with you again. And just like always, you win me over with your words, but the second that I’m not around? The fucking second that I leave? You do what you always do. I can’t even believe that I let myself love you again. And I cannot fucking believe that you would allow my son to love you, when you knew that you could never follow through.”
“Baby, please...”
“Don’t.” She shakes her head hard before backing up at I try to close the distance between us. “Just don’t.”
She turns on one heel, stalking towards the front door. She tosses her suitcase onto the porch before spinning around and heading towards the stairs.
“Avery. Fucking wait a second!”
I grab onto her, trying like hell to spin her around to face me. But she swings her fists and begins to shove me hard, swinging her limbs wildly.
“Get your hands off me! Do not touch me. Do not ever touch me again. You disgust me.”
I drop my hands, trying like hell to find some words. Except, not a single one surfaces.
My world is crashing down around me, and I cannot say a damn thing.
I shake my head hard before following her up the stairs.
“Please, baby. Please listen to me. I love you, Avery. I would never cheat on you.”
Whatever It Takes Page 20
