True Identity (The Lost and Found series Book 1)

by Amanda Mackey

  Declan Harding. He now had a moniker. An identity. It would serve to help us figure out more clues and fill in some of the blanks. Pfft. Us. Listen to me. There may no longer be an us. Harley may choose to let Trudy help him now. I might have to let go and get my own crumbling life in order.

  “How did he die?”

  “Heart attack.”

  Harley stole his gaze away from her and raised his head up to the sky, turning enough for me to see his closed eyes.

  I wanted nothing more than to take him in my arms and steal some of his pain, but I guess Trudy wanted that too.

  She moved to lean in and give him a hug, but he moved off the bench, gripping his hair. He growled and began pacing, agitation clearly running through him.

  “Jesus Christ! My own father is dead and I can’t fucking remember a thing about him. What he looked like. His favorite food. Talking to him! What my last words were to him. Did we even get on well? I have no idea!” he raged.

  Trudy and I glanced at each other. She appeared as crestfallen as me at the fiasco.

  I couldn’t begin to imagine not remembering my family. People who had raised me and guided me. Loved me.

  “My mother’s name?” he barked, jittery and on edge.

  “Beth. Bethany Harding.”

  His chest rose and fell heavily. He looked to me and said, “I have to go. I can’t deal with any more knowledge. You right to get back to your car and home, Angel?”

  Nodding, I muttered, “Where are you going?”

  “I need to walk. Think things through.”

  Beginning to stride off without offering Trudy a goodbye, she called out, “Wait!”

  Fishing in her purse, she stood and held out a card. “Here’s my number. If you want to talk or visit with your mom, call me.”

  Watching her and then peering at her outstretched hand, he moved forward, slowly took the card, and stalked off.

  I wasn’t sure what to say or do.

  Trudy eyed his retreating back. “I can’t believe any of this has happened.”

  “You and me both.”

  Steeling me with her blue eyes, she whispered, “Are you his girlfriend?”

  Very doubtful at this point in time. There was no name for what we were, but girlfriend definitely wasn’t it.

  “No. I…I was his nurse. When he got discharged from hospital, he had nowhere to go. I couldn’t leave him without a roof over his head, so I offered my place. Somewhere to stay until he got his memory back.

  “He likes you.” Her voice had a hint of resignation but mostly betrayal.

  She loved him. They had been planning on getting back together. After spending half an hour in her presence, she actually seemed like a nice person. She must be hurting so much. I didn’t want to add to it. I knew what I needed to do.

  “Look, you don’t need to worry. Now that we know you’re his wife, I’ll have him move out. I don’t want to stand in the way of you reconciling. I didn’t know.”

  The idea of handing him over hurt like hell, but I had no choice. I wouldn’t be “the other woman.” Why then did doing the right thing cause an ache in my chest?

  “As much as I want that, I need to be realistic. He doesn’t remember me. It would be like moving in with a stranger for him. Do you honestly believe he will agree to that?”

  Syphoning in a deep breath, I shook my head. “Honestly, I’m not sure what he’ll do. He needs to access his accounts and get some ID together, visit his mom. Pick up his car if he has one. Where was he living if you guys had separated?”

  She dug into her purse and pulled out a notepad and pen, jotting down something. When she handed it to me, I saw two addresses. The first one being Harley’s apartment, and the second, his mom’s address.

  “Thank you for taking good care of him. The least I can do is give you any information you need.”

  Smiling at her for the first time, I offered, “You’re welcome, and I appreciate it.” Pausing, I folded up the paper and put it in my pocket, going to say something but re-thinking it.

  Trudy must have noticed. “What is it?”

  “How long have you guys been separated?”

  Thinking about it a moment, she replied, “Around twelve months. I’ve never stopped loving him, though.”

  And why should she? He had so many qualities I liked too. If distance were the only thing coming between them, I really didn’t stand a chance. A shard of disappointment lodged itself deeply in my heart. My secret crush needed to end. Life would move forward and eventually I’d forget about my John Doe.

  Wondering what to say next, I spluttered, “So where do we go from here?”

  “Wait for Dec to calm down and see if he’s up to visiting his mom, I guess. He’ll need to access his bank account, and so on. I still have old records at home he can use. I’m not sure if he kept the account open once we separated, but it’s worth a shot. If he needs ID, we can photocopy the marriage certificate.” Thinking for a moment, she added, “Oh, and his birth name isn’t on any of his records. For military purposes. Being Special Ops and all.” She gauged my blank reaction and then said, “He had nothing on him at all?”

  “No. Whoever shot him could have taken his wallet. We don’t know much at this stage.”

  “Well, for what it’s worth, Dec was involved in some top secret missions I wasn’t privy to, so the attack on him could certainly be linked to his military career.”

  I thought so too. It made sense. Which meant both our lives were in danger.

  “Has anything like this happened before? An attack on Harley, er…Declan?”

  “No.”

  “Is there any way we can contact a comrade or military boss to notify them?”

  “I only know a couple of Dec’s military buddies.” She broke eye contact, and for a second her cheeks pinked. Not knowing what went through her head, I waited. After a moment she regained her composure. “Because it’s all off radar work, the less partners, family, and friends know, the better.”

  Somehow we had to make contact. “Do you have the number for one of his buddies then?”

  “I do, but as far as I know, he’s still deployed.” Retrieving her cell, she keyed in a couple of things. “Here. I’ll give you Charlie’s number. You’ll have to explain who you are if you get a hold of him. In the meantime, I’ll call you when I gather up any identification that will help Dec with his bank account.”

  I put Charlie’s number into my cell, glad that I had a lead, even if I couldn’t get a hold of him right now. I’d keep trying.

  “I appreciate your help, Trudy.” Standing, I held out my hand for her to shake. She stood and returned the gesture.

  “Any friend of Dec’s is a friend of mine. I’ll be in touch.” With that she turned and walked away, leaving me with an uneasy lump in my gut and a million thoughts running through my head.

  Scanning the area, I searched for any sign of Harley, but the large grassy park had swallowed him up. Did I wait around or head home? Search for him? He had no transport or money.

  Perhaps the walk home would do him good. A ten minute drive would probably equate to an hour’s walk or more. If he remembered the route we’d taken.

  Taking out the piece of paper with his apartment address on it, I decided to do a detour on the way home.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Harley

  Wife. Wife. Wife. The word re-ran in my head like a stuck record. Your father’s dead added to the mix and I could barely focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

  What should I be feeling? Grief? I could no longer grieve than I could recall what I did two weeks ago.

  Hitting the side of my head, I let my anger surface. I thought finding out about my past would be a good thing, but so far, none of it was thrilling me. My safe bubble with Mac had well and truly burst, and I scrambled to hold onto the remnants.

  A wife I had separated from. How did I know she’d been telling the truth about us agreeing to reconcile? It could have been made up
in an attempt to win me back. Her perusal of Mac hadn’t escaped me. Jealousy appearing for a moment before she’d reined it in.

  Shit. Mac. I’d stormed off and left her with Trudy. She must be reeling from too much information, like me. What would she be thinking? Could she possibly be happy we’d run into Trudy and I may finally be getting the answers I needed?

  The idea of losing her scared the hell out of me. To never see her again. Talk to her. Touch her. It would break me. But how did I deal with still being married? And my mother. Should I go visit the woman? Would it destroy her to see me like this?

  My life officially sucked. This morning I’d been happily ensconced in my world filled with Mac, and in a split second I felt like I’d stepped into an alternate universe.

  Taking pause, I surveyed my surroundings. Gone was the park with the oversized circus tent and in its place stood a part of town as alien as my last name. Houses lined each side of the wide street, and in hindsight it had been a stupid move to walk off when I didn’t know how the hell to find my way back to Mac’s apartment from my new location.

  Shit. What the hell would I do now? I had no cell phone, and even if I did, I didn’t know Mac’s number.

  Remembering the card I’d stuffed in my pocket from Trudy, I pulled it out and stared at it. Should I find a phone and call her collect to come get me? Did I really have any other choice?

  Feeling stupid for storming off, I began to walk again, hoping I’d stumble across a gas station or business where I could ask to use their phone. As much as I didn’t want to call her, I needed to get back to Mac’s apartment. To safety. I was exposed. I’d forgotten all about having a possible target on my back. It had seeped to the shadows after Trudy appeared. If someone wanted me dead, they could take me down right now.

  Standing taller and drawing my inner warrior out, I scanned the vicinity, on guard once more. The way I felt, if an attacker approached he would bear the brunt of my wrath. I silently dared them to try.

  The sun heated my core as I continued my trek. Thoughts kept switching to Mac. From the moment I first heard her voice in my consciousness, a strange connection had formed. She had a way about her that I likened to a magnet. She wasn’t even aware of it, and perhaps I clung to false hope, but being with her felt right. Familiar. Home. Her smile could light up an entire state. Her laugh, a song on its own. Now, while I trekked in the middle of nowhere on my own, I craved to see her hypnotic eyes and to have her invisible charm wrap around me in comfort. But where did Trudy’s revelation leave her? Leave us? Were we an us or perhaps my gratitude toward her had morphed into some misguided affection? No. My heart told me otherwise.

  After another twenty minutes of left and right turns filled with hope, I came across a gas station. Perhaps I’d been going in circles, I couldn’t be sure, but the sight had me breathe out in relief.

  Dodging incoming cars, I made my way inside to the cashier, waiting in line as he served customers first. With only one guy working the register, the line crawled slowly. Only one person paid in cash, which had all the card purchases extend my waiting time. Finally, I stood before the guy.

  “Hey,” he chirped.

  “Hi. Do you have a payphone I could use? I left my cell at home and need to contact a friend to pick me up.” I wasn’t about to blurt out the truth and have the two people behind me listen in.

  With a nod to the back wall, the pimply faced dude, who only looked to be twenty, if that, didn’t utter any more, he merely waited for me to move so he could serve the next person.

  Offering him a reciprocal nod in return, I swiveled and followed his vague direction, past some aisles stocked with food to the last row. Finding the payphone in the right-hand corner, I hoped it would allow me to make a collect call.

  With Trudy’s card still in my hand, I scanned the writing on the front of the large phone, noting the message about dialing ‘0’ to be put through to an operator.

  Following the instructions, I awaited Trudy to pick up.

  After four rings, she answered. “Hello?”

  “Uhh. Hey Trudy. It’s Harley.”

  The long pause had me wonder if she’d connect the name to me. For some reason I couldn’t associate myself with Declan. She clicked after a few more beats.

  “Dec? Where are you?” Concern laced her words.

  “I’m not sure. I walked a fair way from the park and ended up finding a gas station.” Embarrassed at the next statement, I took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to find my way back.”

  “I’ll come get you. Can you ask the attendant which gas station you’re at? The suburb, maybe?” She didn’t hesitate in her offer of help. I sighed with relief.

  “That’s gonna be a bit hard ’cause I’m calling from a payphone, and the guy is busy serving.”

  “Can you place the phone down for a moment and ask someone?”

  Turning back to face the front, I checked the people waiting in line, pondering on whom would be the best to ask.

  “Hang on a sec,” I told Trudy, placing the receiver temporarily on the top of the phone.

  The nice middle-aged lady at the back of the line looked as good as any person to ask.

  “Excuse me?” I tapped her on the arm.

  Spinning around and looking up, she raised her eyebrows curiously. “Yes?”

  “I’m new in town. Could you please give me the address here? I need a friend to pick me up.”

  “Oh sure.” She rattled off the street name before I thanked her and returned to my awaiting call.

  “You still there, Trudy?”

  “Yeah, Dec.”

  I began to think she called me that on purpose to piss me off. She needed to call me by the name I knew. “It’s Harley.” I gave her the address before she could speak.

  I could hear a loud exhale over the line. “Oookay. Harley. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Be waiting out front so I can see you.”

  “Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.” I meant it. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if I didn’t have her number.

  “That’s what wives are for, right?”

  I couldn’t answer. I didn’t know what she had ever done for me. I wasn’t comfortable hearing the term from her, and I couldn’t be sure as to why.

  “See you soon.” I hung up and walked out into the fresh air, suddenly feeling like the enclosed space inside suffocated me.

  Even the overwhelming stench of gasoline had me breathe easier. I didn’t do confined spaces crammed with people. Noted.

  Passing numerous makes and models of cars, I wondered what I owned. I made a note to ask Trudy if she knew. Mac’s Mustang was dope. I’d enjoy a ride like that. Mac. Thoughts turned to her again. She took up a lot of my headspace. Fate had brought her to me and I planned on keeping her in my life regardless of what memories surfaced of my past. My feelings for her were real. The only real thing I knew. Everything else scared me.

  Tiny details of my life eluded me. Would I ever get everything back? Or would it only be pieces? Waking up with no memory was akin to being reborn as an adult. I didn’t need to be taught how to eat, dress, shower or use the toilet. They were already hardwired into me. It wasn’t doing things I had a problem with. I needed to know exactly what had led me to Mac’s ICU and why. And Trudy. A niggling seed of doubt had planted itself into my brain about her and I. There had to be more to it than my constant deployment. She had obviously known going into the marriage that I’d be on assignment a lot. No. She hadn’t told me everything.

  Standing on the curb, I tucked the card I was still gripping into my pocket and waited.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Mac

  Slowing down to a crawl, I found the apartment complex Trudy had given me. Turning onto a paved road, I began my search for number twenty five.

  The white sided homes with black roofs lined both sides of me like tall hedges in a maze as I turned corner after corner until finally I found it. Tucked at the far side of the estate sat Harley’s place.


  Parking for a moment out front, knowing I wouldn’t be able to stay long, I searched for any sign of the guy who’d been living with me. The porch lay empty, no shoes lined up. Aside from a weary looking garden with a few weeds, I couldn’t associate him to the condo. The front window had a blind drawn, so taking a quick peek wasn’t an option. Curiosity nipped at my heels to find out more about the man who had managed to burrow under my skin.

  The single garage jutting out from the right hand side had no vehicle out front. If he owned one it would be locked away.

  Taking pause to soak in the place he called home, I couldn’t help but wonder what secrets were held within its walls. He’d gone about his life not too long ago, not even knowing I existed and vice-versa. It’s funny how things had come to pass. What had his thoughts been the last time he lived here? Had he brought other women home after he’d separated from Trudy? What did the place look like inside? Messy or clean? There were so many questions I wanted answers to.

  Futile in my attempt to learn anything knew, I backed out and had to remember how to snake my way out to the gate.

  A few kids played with a ball on the quiet street leading away from Harley’s home, but apart from that, the place appeared deserted.

  Upon reaching the gate, I noticed rows of mailboxes on a brick wall which also acted as part of the estate’s front entrance. An idea popped into my head as I veered off the street onto the grassy verge.

  At least the mailboxes were in order, unlike the condos. Finding number twenty-five proved easy. It overflowed with junk and letters, so I pulled as many as I could out, knowing I’d left some behind that were locked inside.

  With my stash in the car, I drove home, hoping when I arrived Harley had returned.

  ***

  The apartment echoed with emptiness, which had me worrying. Should I have gone searching for him? Could he find his way home? Well, to my home. Not his.

  Deciding to wait the afternoon out, I put a pot of coffee on and set his mail on the kitchen counter, pondering over whether I should take a peek or not.