Athena's Daughter

by Juli Page Morgan

  As far as Cindy went, she continued to treat Athena with the highest contempt. If Robin talked with her as he’d promised, it didn’t seem to register with the girl. Athena’s disposal of Cindy’s clothing didn’t improve matters, and by the end of the first week Athena made good on her threat to kick Cindy’s ass to the curb. She left Cindy’s suitcases in the hall, and when the girl went upstairs to retrieve them, Athena instructed the van drivers to leave immediately for the airport. This caused a delay when a fuming Robin sent one of the vans back for her, but Simon backed Athena’s actions, and since that time Cindy was, if not pleasant, at least tolerable.

  The problem Athena was dreading the most, however, turned out to be the most easily resolved. When she explained that she would not risk Elizabeth’s future by buying drugs, and therefore putting herself in a position to be arrested, everyone understood. Though she cringed every time she did it, she sent the dealers who came to the hotels to the rooms without involving herself in any transactions. After all, it wasn’t her business what the band got up to.

  But it was hard to ignore Derek’s actions. Those flashes of sharp desire and longing that took her by surprise the first day only intensified, and having to go into his room to wake him each day was becoming torture. There was always that moment when he first woke when his expression was unguarded, and he seemed happy to see her. But the moment he fully regained consciousness, he’d grow distant and chase her from the room. That was hard, but imagining him each night with a different girl hurt more than his obvious desire to have her out of the way. She never saw him with anyone, but if Ian was finding willing partners, there was no way Derek wasn’t. He certainly got enough attention backstage before and after the shows. Though he was always alone when she arrived to wake him up, she was dreading the day when one of the girls would stay overnight. Athena had no idea what she’d do when that happened, but she was afraid it wouldn’t be pretty.

  As the vans drove through the airport gates in St. Louis, she cast a withering glare out the window at the Learjet parked on the tarmac. Simon hadn’t been lying when he said it was comfortable, but she didn’t believe for a minute it was safe. Each time she was incarcerated in that flying metal pillbox she swore she had a slight cardiac arrest. As for catching up on her sleep in that thing? Forget it. Although, come to think of it, it might be better to be asleep when she plummeted to her death. That way, at least, she wouldn’t even know it was happening.

  The moment the vans came to a stop, everyone piled out and boarded, carry-on bags slung over shoulders. Athena found herself seated next to Simon, and across from Paul and Veronica. Though she’d never have believed it, she and Veronica had become friends, and it helped to alleviate some of Athena’s homesickness.

  Veronica buckled her seatbelt before fixing Athena with a bright gaze. “Did you get to talk to your daughter this morning?”

  “Yeah, for a minute before she left for school.” She sighed. “I sure miss that little munchkin.”

  “You’ll see her in a couple of weeks,” Veronica assured her. “Can I see that picture of her now?”

  “Oh, sure.” Athena had been putting Veronica off when she asked to see a picture. One look at Elizabeth’s face and everyone would know Derek Marshall was her father. But Athena went through the small photo album Elizabeth put together for her to take along while they were apart, and saw that the little girl included her school picture. Athena had been disappointed in that photo when she first saw it. Elizabeth had lost her first tooth the week before, and just before the photo was snapped she tilted her head back and grinned like a maniac, the better to show off the gap in her teeth. The angle of her head obscured the lines of her face, and reduced those incredible blue eyes to mere slits. It looked nothing like Elizabeth. Therefore it was the perfect picture to show to anyone who knew Derek.

  The night before, she’d taken the photo from the little album and put it in the side pocket of her purse. She pulled it out and handed it to Veronica.

  “It’s a terrible picture,” she warned. “Looks nothing like her, really. But she was trying to show off that she lost her first tooth.”

  “Oh, she’s so cute,” Veronica gushed. “Look at that sweet girl!”

  Paul leaned over to see, and laughed. “She looks like she’s a right handful, Athena.”

  “No, she’s really a very laid-back kid.” Athena couldn’t stop the swell of pride at finally being able to show Elizabeth off. Even if they couldn’t really see her.

  “She doesn’t have your coloring,” Veronica observed.

  “Yeah, she got that dark hair from her dad.” Though she knew she was venturing into dangerous territory, she couldn’t help adding, “Actually, she looks just like him.”

  “Well, she’s a cutie.” Paul looked across the small aisle, eyebrows raised. “Do you want to see the picture, or are you just waving at me because you find me attractive?”

  Derek gave him a wry look. “Definitely the picture.”

  Paul laughed and handed it over before turning back to Veronica.

  Small beads of perspiration broke out at Athena’s hairline, and she held her breath as she watched Derek see his daughter for the first time. Her chest grew tight as she waited for him to see the resemblance, to turn to her with accusation and hurt. But all he did was smile and chuckle under his breath.

  “She is a sweetie.” He looked up and met her eyes. “What’s her name?”

  The tension drained from her shoulders, and she was surprised at the rush of disappointment that accompanied it. “Elizabeth.”

  “Huh.” He looked back at the photo. “Me mum’s name is Elizabeth.”

  Though his comment scared the bejeezus out of her, she repressed a smile at his slip that allowed his Liverpool upbringing to come out. He tried hard to keep it out of his speech, but every now and again he said something without realizing it.

  “Really?” She tried to look nonchalant. “Oh, yeah; I think I remember you telling me that once.”’

  “Probably did.” Derek smiled at the picture again, and handed it back to Athena. “She’s a cute little girl. You’re really lucky to have her.”

  “Yeah, I am. Thanks.” She took the photo and leaned down to put it in her purse, glad of the chance to hide her face. His innocent statement shattered her. Because of her colossal mistakes, he was missing out on the joy of having Elizabeth, too. And he didn’t even know it.

  She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes, hoping everyone would think she was trying to sleep and leave her alone. If she tried to make conversation with anyone just then she’d burst into tears. Now that Derek had seen Elizabeth’s picture, Athena was even more determined to tell him the truth about her. But doing it was going to be harder than she’d thought.

  Though she’d scoffed at Andi’s optimism that Derek would want to be friends again, she nursed the hope that they might cultivate enough of a civil relationship to where they would at least be able to converse. None of that seemed to be on Derek’s agenda, though. The short exchange they’d just had about Elizabeth was the first actual conversation they’d had since her first day on the job. Except for Derek’s morning “I’m awake now. You can go,” he ignored Athena’s existence, even when she was right under his nose. As a consequence, she tried to avoid him as much as possible. She couldn’t even bring herself to say ‘hi’ to him when they passed in the hall; how was she supposed to tell him he had a daughter?

  Across the aisle, he laughed at something Ian said, and Athena’s heart squeezed with pain. Every fiber of her being ached for him to laugh like that with her. Those looks he gave her every morning before he fully awakened stayed with her all day, calling up memories of the way things were the summer Elizabeth was conceived. It came as a huge shock to her to realize how much she still wanted him, and she couldn’t help but wish he still wanted her, too. But he obviously didn’t. Even though he’d been civil enough when looking at Elizabeth’s photo, he’d still treated her with a cool indifference that
he would a total stranger, not a girl he’d once rushed with to the Register Office so they could get married.

  A spark of anger kindled in her belly. Damn it, he loved her once, loved her enough to try to make her his wife, and he knew that she had loved him, too. Yes, she messed up in a huge way afterward, but nothing she’d done warranted the way he was treating her. She was the first one to admit he had every right to say the things he did at the record store. She’d been wrong to believe that Tina person, wrong to think the worst of Derek. But she’d been young and scared and confused, and by God, she’d apologized to him for it. It was a huge misunderstanding, but it happened seven years ago and he needed to stop treating her like a pariah because of it. As her anger at him mounted higher, she blew out a breath of pure irritation.

  “Still can’t sleep?” Veronica questioned.

  Athena’s eyes popped open. “No,” she sighed. “I can’t relax enough on this plane.” She cast a glance at Paul. “It would help if I could sleep in my bed, but certain people feel the need to call on me at all hours of the night for stupid things that could wait until morning.”

  “Hey.” Paul held up his hands in protest. “I very rarely bother you during the night.”

  “Paul, running out of Dr. Pepper at 4 a.m. is not the end of the world, you know.” Athena knew it was unfair to take out her anger at Derek on Paul, but she didn’t care. “For God’s sake, just drink some damn water and go to bed.”

  Ian chose the wrong moment to laugh under his breath, and she rounded on him with fire in her eye. “Find it funny, do you? Well, you’re the worst of the lot, Ian.”

  He drew back looking astonished. “I’ve tried to be very considerate.”

  “You call me three times a night! You want a bottle of Jim Beam. Or you want mescaline. Or you want a prostitute.”

  Ian’s eyes narrowed. “Well, that’s what you’re being paid to do, in case you’ve forgotten.”

  “What I’m not being paid to do,” Athena spit out, “is to be awakened at three o’clock in the morning because you’ve just realized you ran out of deodorant. Stuff like that can wait until daylight, Ian. It’s not like I can run out and find you a can of Right Guard in the middle of the night.” She was wound up and ticking, and decided to just speak her mind. “What would be really nice if is you all treated me like Derek here. If he’s not ignoring my very existence, he treats me like some annoying stranger instead of someone he used to…”

  “Excuse me, then,” Derek interrupted, glaring. “I wasn’t aware my actions bothered you so much. But you can bloody well forget about me treating you like someone I used to do anything with.”

  “Not a surprise,” she retorted. “I wouldn’t expect anything else from someone so immature and emotionally stunted that they can’t get over a mistake made seven fucking years ago.”

  “The fact that you can refer to that as ‘a mistake’ shows just who’s emotionally stunted.” An alarming shade of red crept into Derek’s cheeks. “You want me to treat you like the others do? Fine. You got it, babe.”

  “Don’t call me babe,” Athena told him. “It might indicate you once had some sort of feelings for me, and we wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, would we?”

  Simon waded into the fray. “That’s enough,” he declared. “I’d hoped you two had gotten past this, but I can see I was wrong. In any case, fighting about it when we’re all exhausted and irritable is the wrong way to go about it. So everyone belt up, got it?” He glared around the cabin until he’d received mumbled assents from all present. “Good. We’ll be landing in Baton Rouge shortly, and I want silence until then.”

  It was a tense group that deplaned at the Baton Rouge airport. A strained silence prevailed in the vans on the way to the hotel, and Athena rushed through her room inspections, not really caring if everything was in order. For the first time since she’d joined the tour, she declined to attend the show that night and stayed at the hotel, hidden in her room.

  She was ashamed of herself for jumping on the guys the way she did, and she was mortified at airing her and Derek’s dirty laundry in public. Yes, she was exhausted, but that was no excuse. By letting her frustration and emotions get the best of her, she’d made everyone uncomfortable, and made them think she didn’t want to do the job she was hired to do. On top of everything else, it made the situation with Derek even worse. Man, when she wanted to shoot herself in the foot she sure used a bazooka.

  Using hotel stationery, she penned notes of apology to Simon, Ian, Paul and Robin, and slipped them under their respective doors. Derek didn’t get one. Sorry as she was about going public with their fight, she was still mad as hell at him, and thought she’d apologized enough.

  When she heard the ruckus of the band returning to the hotel, she got off her bed with a sigh. If nothing else came of the day’s events, they’d probably leave her alone for at least one night, and she might as well try to take advantage of the time to catch up on her sleep. She pulled the T-shirt and shorts she slept in from her suitcase, and tossed them on the bed before stripping off her clothes. She threw her shirt and jeans into a pile on the floor, and her bra had just joined them when the door to her room burst open. Frozen in shock, she could only stare as Derek stumbled in, his arm around the neck of a bemused looking girl.

  “Oops, sorry.” Derek’s eyes ran up and down her body. “Wrong room.”

  Belatedly, Athena crossed her arms over her breasts. “No kidding.”

  He waved an arm at her. “Carry on, then.” Snickering, he pulled the girl from the room with him, and let the door swing shut behind him.

  It was the last straw. All the hurt and anger and yearning and despair rose up, threatening to choke her. She managed to don her sleepwear before the flood of tears overcame her. Climbing into bed, she curled up in a tight ball and let the sobs shake her until she fell asleep.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  It was with great dread that Athena entered Derek’s room the next morning to wake him. After the little performance the night before, she was sure she’d find the girl still in his bed. But as always, he was alone. Part of her felt relief; the part that was still mad at him sent out uncharitable thoughts about what a shit he was for sleeping with girls and then kicking them out in the middle of the night.

  Instead of the careful, slow process she usually used to wake him up, she was brusque and more than a little rough. She rolled him over onto his back, and began shaking him with the same vigor she’d use to mix a martini.

  “Get up get up get up get up!” Her shout was aimed directly into his ear, and combined with the shaking it roused him quicker than usual.

  Seeing his eyes start to flutter open, Athena gripped his shoulders and yanked him to a sitting position. The moment he was upright, she jumped to her feet.

  “Derek! You up?”

  “Jesus Christ, Athena,” he growled, scrubbing his hands over his face.

  “I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’” She whirled on her heel and left the room, letting the door slam behind her.

  Shit. She’d forgotten to get his laundry. That meant she was going to have to go back in there and face his displeasure at the way she’d performed her morning duty. Oh well, she was going to have to hear it sometime; might as well get it over with.

  As she passed Ian’s room on her way to collect her laundry bag, the door opened and a girl emerged. Since this wasn’t an unusual occurrence, Athena didn’t slow. But when she got a look at the girl’s face, she stopped dead in her tracks with a startled, “Hi.” No wonder Derek had been alone; his companion of the night before appeared to have spent the night with Ian.

  “Oh, hey!” The girl put a hand on Athena’s arm and peered up at her through a tangle of black bangs. “I’m so glad I ran into you. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about barging in on you last night.”

  “That’s okay,” Athena replied automatically. “Wasn’t your fault.”

  “I told Derek that wasn’t Ian’s room, but he didn’t e
ven listen to me.” The girl shook her head. “I think he must have been trippin’ or something. I mean, he like insisted on walking me back to Ian’s room, even though I knew where I was going. Then after we left your room, he left me standing outside Ian’s door and just walked away. That was weird, you know?”

  “Yeah, it’s weird, all right.”

  Oh, that son of a bitch. He’d done it on purpose, barged into her room with his arm around a girl just to get her back for what she said on the plane. Athena wished she’d added some face slapping to her morning wake up call.

  After parting from the girl, she went to her own room to get the large duffel bag she used for laundry. As she stood in front of the dresser shaking out the heavy canvas folds, something skittered down her leg from thigh to knee.

  With a terrified shriek, she beat on her leg while performing a stunning rendition of the Oh-My-God-There’s-Something-On-Me dance. Just when she was edging over into pure panic, she spied something shiny by her foot. It took only a moment to register that it was a room key, and when she saw the number on the fob, she realized it was the key to Derek’s room that was in her pocket only a moment before.

  She paused in her dance – though she continued to beat her pants leg for stray critters – and reached into her pocket where she encountered a hole in the fabric. Her heart started to slow from its furious pace when she realized Derek’s key was what slid down her leg when it fell through the hole in her pocket. Feeling like an idiot, she bent and picked up the key. Next time she went out for one of the guys she was going to have to track down a needle and thread. Now both pockets of her favorite jeans had holes in them, and she didn’t have the time or funds to replace them.

  She dropped Derek’s key into her purse with all the others, slung it over her shoulder in case she needed it, and grabbed the laundry bag. Her first stop was Derek’s door. Might as well get it over with first. She rapped on the door.