And in a flash of clarity, he saw what Athena had been doing. His arms fell back onto the pillow above his head, and he stared at the ceiling. All those stories she told him about Elizabeth had been more than just the ramblings of a proud mum. They were her way of introducing him little by little to his daughter so that when she told him the truth, he’d be familiar with Elizabeth, know a bit about what she was like. Athena hadn’t been lying when she said she planned to tell him after the tour ended, and she had been laying the groundwork without his knowing it.
Athena. What the hell was he going to do about her? Paul was right – he still loved her, but he wasn’t sure that was enough to overcome the betrayal he felt when he thought about Elizabeth growing up all this time without him. Paul was also right about something else; as his child’s mother, Athena would always be a part of his life, and when he thought of that, the confusion he felt was enough to make his head explode.
He still loved her and he still wanted her, but he didn’t know if he could ever forgive her for keeping his child from him for so long. And if he couldn’t forgive her, then everything was over before it began.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Two hours in to her first day back at work, Athena was ready to pour gasoline over the store, set it on fire, and tell God it was the wiring. The stock was a nightmare. They were sold out of Bob Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks, Led Zeppelin’s Physical Graffiti and David Bowie’s Young Americans, the hottest selling albums in the country, and Rondall hadn’t bothered to order any more. Instead, he let himself get talked into buying one hundred copies of the live album put out by The Osmond Brothers. The fucking Osmond Brothers! How the hell were they supposed to move those? Athena made Hal haul them to one of the unused rooms upstairs, and then spent an hour on the phone begging for emergency shipments of the albums they desperately needed.
Boxes of 45s that had arrived during her absence were gathering dust in the back room, and she wondered what the hell everyone had been doing for the past month. It sure didn’t appear they’d been working. After the useless Osmond albums were out of sight, she told Hal to start stocking. From the sideways glances he kept throwing her way, she knew he wasn’t happy with her brusque tone and clipped orders, but she really didn’t give a flying fuck. She’d spent the last four years as manager whipping Stax of Wax into a paying, thriving business, and she was mad as hell that the employees let it go to pieces in one short month.
Compounding her unpleasant morning was the addition of their newest hire. Tammy was a student at Memphis State, and as far as Athena could tell she was only there to get her MRS, like an institution of higher learning was nothing more than a happy hunting grounds for a husband. It was also obvious the girl thought she could improve her chances by working at a record store where droves of boys descended for the latest releases; she spent the first part of the morning doing nothing more productive than reapplying her lip gloss. Once Athena was off the phone with the record suppliers, she dragged Tammy and her glistening lips to the front windows and set her to work replacing old posters with ones depicting the new releases Hal was busy stocking. After having to make two trips to the front of the store to reprimand her, Athena was sorry she’d ever come back to work.
Mid-morning found her going over the previous month’s sales, and she caught herself nodding off. The store was as slow as a record store on a Monday morning when all the kids were still in school could be, and not even the copy of Aerosmith’s Toys in the Attic spinning on the sound system could liven things up. Besides, every time Athena heard the song “Sweet Emotion,” she wanted to grab the record from whatever player it was on – including those at every radio station in Memphis – and smash it to bits. Her own emotions were anything but sweet, and the song grated on her nerves, no matter how good it was.
Tammy stomped past, her arms filled with crumpled faded posters, and dumped them in the waste basket behind the counter. Athena ignored her and Hal who had finished stocking the new records and was trying to look busy by dusting the cash register. When the phone rang, Athena let him get it since he was closer.
“Stax of Wax,” he drawled.
“And platters that matter,” Athena muttered under her breath.
“Oh! Yeah, sure.”
An odd tone in Hal’s voice made her look up to find him regarding her with bemusement. “Hang on a sec.”
He put his hand over the speaking end of the receiver. “Athena, there’s a veddy British man on the phone for you, love.”
She jumped up from her chair and took the phone. “Thanks, Ringo. You’ll want to work on that accent, by the way.” She took a deep breath and put the receiver to her ear. “Hello?”
“Hi,” Derek’s voice came down the line. “It’s me.”
“Yeah, I figured it was, despite Hal’s crappy English accent.” She bent and grabbed the phone base unit from under the counter, and carried it into the back room, stretching the long cord to capacity. The moment she had both been looking forward to and dreading was here at last. “Are you in Memphis?”
“No, not yet. My flight arrives at eight-thirty tonight, and I’ve booked a room at the Holiday Inn near the airport.” He cleared his throat. “Can you bring Elizabeth round then?”
“Tonight?” It was a relief not to detect any anger in his voice, and she didn’t want to piss him off, but he was being ridiculous. “Derek, she’ll be sound asleep by then.”
“So early?” He sounded truly startled, and she couldn’t help but laugh a little despite her trepidation.
“You’ve gotta remember that she’s only six years old, and she’s still in school. She’s usually in bed by seven-thirty or so.”
“Oh, Christ. I didn’t even think about school. So, um, when can I see her?”
“I’ll keep her home tomorrow, and we can be at your motel about nine. Is that all right?”
“It’s fine, but…Well, I don’t want to interfere with her schooling.”
The tentative way he said it brought a small smile to Athena’s lips. He was trying so hard, and it touched her, erasing some of the panic she’d lived with the past week.
“It’s okay. It’s near the end of the year, and she’s only in first grade. It’s not like she has final exams or anything. Besides,” she added. “She’s so excited about seeing you, and if she finds out you’re in town there’s no way I’ll be able to hold her back.”
“She wants to see me?”
“Very much. She even drew a picture for you.”
“Athena, I…” There was eagerness in his voice, but a good bit of doubt along with it.
“Derek, you’ll do fine,” she assured him. “I’m sure of it. Now, do you know what room you’ll be in?”
“Oh, yeah. Hang on.” The sound of shuffling papers came down the line for a moment. “Okay, I’ll be in two-oh-five.”
Athena took the pen from behind her ear, and wrote the number on the back of her hand holding the phone base. “Got it. Okay, then. Have a safe flight, and we’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay. See you.”
That went better than she could have hoped. Braced for another outpouring of hatred and disgust, Derek’s tentative, almost shy manner was a relief. Maybe, just maybe, they could be friends again. They might even…
No. She’d blown anything more than that by keeping Elizabeth’s existence from him. She’d been prepared for his anger when he heard the news, but his level of hurt and betrayal was something she hadn’t counted on. And more the fool she for not even thinking about the pain he might feel at missing out on the first seven years of his daughter’s life. Those last ten glorious days of basking in Derek’s love was all she was going to have. Any love he felt for her vanished the instant he realized what she’d done.
The pain of that loss went too deep even for tears; all she could do was put on a brave front and learn to live with it. She went back into the front of the store, gathering up the phone cord as she walked, and found Hal grinning at her.
“Getting phone calls at work from members of Wolf now, are you?”
“Yes,” she said shortly, stowing the phone on the top shelf under the counter again. “Derek. He’s coming to town tomorrow to see Elizabeth, so I’ll be taking the day off. And if I come back here on Wednesday and find out y’all did nothing but goof off and not do any work around here, heads are gonna roll. I mean it.”
Hal’s grin faded and changed to a confused frown. “Why is Derek Marshall coming to see your daughter?” he asked, ignoring her dire threats about his job security.
“He’s her father.” Athena shrugged like this was nothing new and not the best kept secret since the Watergate break-in.
“Your daughter’s daddy is Derek Marshall? The guitar player from Wolf?” Tammy’s eyes shone with excitement and a kind of reverent awe that made Athena want to roll her eyes. Oh, good grief. However, if this was what it took to get Tammy to listen to her, she might as well play it for all it was worth.
“Oh, my God!” Tammy squealed and bounced up and down on her toes. “Is he coming here?”
“No,” Athena sighed in irritation. “He’s coming to see his daughter. We’ve already done the whole stopping by the record store bit.”
“Where’s he staying?” Tammy asked with a look of calculation.
“He has a house here in town,” Athena lied through her teeth. All they needed was a gaggle of sorority girls in the front lobby marring Derek’s visit with Elizabeth.
As Tammy’s mouth drew down in a disappointed pout, Athena turned back to Hal.
“Like I said, I’m taking tomorrow off. And I may just be in and out for the next couple of days. I’m counting on you to step up and run this place the way it should be run while I’m gone, and to keep the other employees in line, too. If you can’t do that, we’ll have to make some changes around here. Got it?”
A hint of panic in his eyes told her she’d finally gotten through to him. “Don’t worry, Athena. We won’t have any more problems.”
“Good.” She hoped he meant it; she didn’t have the luxury of worrying about the store right then. The following day was going to be worrisome enough.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
As they entered the elevator at the Holiday Inn, Athena gave Elizabeth one last going over. Hair smoothly pulled back into pigtails on either side of her head – check. Face and hands clean and free of smudges – check. Cute little outfit bought hurriedly at Goldsmith’s the night before on straight and mostly wrinkle free – check. Most beautiful little girl to ever walk the face of the earth – check.
Unmoved by her mother’s nervous adjustments to her clothes and hair, Elizabeth watched the numbers over the door, humming Electric Light Orchestra’s “Can’t Get it Out of My Head” under her breath. It was Athena’s current favorite song, and apparently she’d been playing it too much. In her hand Elizabeth carefully held the picture she’d drawn for Derek. Stick figures of a man and a little girl held hands among a grove of trees, the man’s free hand holding what Athena assumed was supposed to be a guitar, though it really resembled a medieval instrument of torture. Just to avoid any confusion, Elizabeth had written names under the stick figures; Daddy under the man, Elizabeth Marshall under the little girl. Athena just hoped Derek wouldn’t freak out when he saw that one.
A soft chime announced they reached the correct floor just before the doors slid open. Taking a deep breath, Athena steered her daughter from the elevator and into the hall.
“Okay. Can you find the room? Remember, it’s two-oh-five.”
Elizabeth gazed at room numbers as they passed the doors, whispering the numbers to herself with deep concentration.
“Here it is,” she exclaimed, stopping at the correct room. “Can I knock on the door?”
Adrenaline shot through Athena’s body, leaving her shaky and a little sick. She waved a trembling hand at the door. “Go ahead.”
Elizabeth rapped her knuckles against the door, and despite the lack of force behind it, the sound of the chain being slid back came almost at the first contact of her hand on the wood. Derek must have been standing on the other side waiting for them.
Athena held her breath, and met his eyes as the door opened. “Hi,” she breathed.
“Hi.” He nodded briefly at her before his eyes dropped to the little girl. Athena saw the muscles in his throat moved as he swallowed. “Hello, Elizabeth.”
“Hi, Daddy!”
He melted. That was the only way Athena could describe what happened to Derek when Elizabeth called him Daddy. Every bit of tension in his face dissolved, leaving him slack-jawed and speechless. His body sagged, and Athena bit her lip as he used the doorjamb to keep himself upright. It didn’t last long, though, and his blank expression was replaced a blazing happiness so intense that Athena could feel its warmth, even though it wasn’t directed at her. Her hand rose and settled over her racing heart.
Derek’s smile was so bright it could have been seen from space. He took a step back. “Want to come in for a bit?”
Tilting her head, Elizabeth gave him a look of mild exasperation. “You’re apposed to hug me first.”
Looking startled, Derek stuttered. “I, um…well…” Recovering, he knelt on one knee and held out his arms. “You’re absolutely right. Come here, then.”
With no hesitation, Elizabeth flung herself at her father, laughing with delight. Derek gathered her close and hid his face in the silky strands of her hair, eyes shut tight.
An emotion too deep for words flooded Athena as she watched her daughter hug him for the first time. Her hand rose from her chest to hide the trembling on her lips, and she took a half-step back, feeling somehow that she was intruding on this private moment.
Eyes still screwed shut, Derek stood with Elizabeth in his arms, and the little girl wrapped herself around him like a vine. After several deep breaths, Derek raised his head a fraction of an inch and looked at Athena. His mouth moved in a soundless “Thank you.”
Lowering her hand, Athena gave him a tremulous smile and nodded, not trusting herself to speak. With a barely discernible tilt of his head, Derek indicated he wanted her to follow him into the motel room before he turned away, still clutching Elizabeth to his chest. Athena followed, pulling her little Instamatic from her purse. When everyone calmed down she wanted to get a picture of Elizabeth and Derek together, a proper replacement for the photo of Steve on Elizabeth’s nightstand.
Derek pressed his face against his daughter’s neck, and his chest expanded as he breathed in, causing the little girl to draw back a bit.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
Derek looked up, blinking like a man who just awakened from a dream. “I’m sorry.” A lopsided grin curved his mouth. “It’s just that you smell really good.”
“It’s Ivory soap,” Elizabeth informed him. “Mama made me take a bath.”
Athena smothered a laugh at the dumbfounded look on Derek’s face as he tried to come up with a response.
“Well,” he finally said. “It smells nice.”
“You smell pretty good, too, even though you talk funny. But that’s because you’re from London, England and y’all talk funny over there. The Queen lives there and she talks funny, too.” A small vertical line appeared between Elizabeth’s brows as she studied his bemused face. “Your eyes are really blue.”
“So are yours. They’re just…” He paused to swallow. “They’re just like mine.”
Moving with stealth so as to avoid notice, Athena edged closer to try to see Elizabeth’s reaction better, so she had a bird’s eye view of their reflection when Derek turned to face the mirror over the dresser.
“See?” He nodded toward the reflection. “Just alike.”
For a moment they studied each other in the mirror. Then at the same moment, two dimples appeared on two left cheeks as half-smiles curved their lips, and Athena had her picture.
Elizabeth whipped her head around at the camera’s flash and regarded her mother, mouth twisted
with exasperation. “Mama! You’re apposed to tell us to say ‘cheese.’”
“Didn’t have to.” Athena advanced the film on the camera with her thumb. “You were both already smiling. I just want you to have a nice picture for your pink frame.”
“Oh!” Evidently the word ‘picture’ jogged Elizabeth’s memory because she turned back to Derek with shining eyes. “I drawed you a picture, Daddy. See?” She held up the piece of sketch paper for his perusal.
Derek studied it with the concentration he’d give a new piece of music. “It’s lovely, Elizabeth.”
“It’s you and me,” she explained. “I wrote our names so you won’t forget. Daddy and Elizabeth Marshall.” Unaware of her father’s glistening eyes, she continued her soliloquy. “That’s my new name. Mama helped me learn how to spell it.”
“That’s right.” His voice broke on the last word, and he paused to clear his throat. “It is your name now.” Over the little girl’s head he looked at Athena, and nodded with a small but grateful smile.
“And you’re holding your guitar, see?” Elizabeth shook the picture to regain his attention. “Mama played your records so I could hear you play the guitar. And I asked her if you would teach me to play the guitar, and she said she was sure you probably would.” Pasting on her patented puppy-dog look, Elizabeth turned to face him. “Will you?”
After a quick kiss on her forehead, Derek smiled. “Of course I will. But we’ll probably need to wait a year or two.”
“Why?” Elizabeth looked offended. “I’m smart. I’m in the first grade.”
“It’s not that,” Derek hurried to explain. “It’s just that your hands are still too small.”
With a perplexed frown, Elizabeth handed the picture to her father and held her hands up in front of her. After a moment of examination, she showed them to Derek. “No, they’re regular size. See?”
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