Derek’s lips twitched for a moment before he replied. “I see that. But the guitar … Here, I’ll show you.” He deposited the picture on the dresser and set Elizabeth on her feet. From under the bed he pulled out a black guitar case and put it on the bed.
“What’s that?” Elizabeth leaned close to see.
“One of my guitars.” With quick efficiency, he flipped the catches and opened the lid.
“Wow,” Elizabeth breathed as he removed the guitar from the case. “It’s pretty.”
“That it is.” Derek pushed the case aside, and sat on the edge of the bed. “Hop up and sit next to me.” He patted the space next to him which Elizabeth was quick to occupy. After strumming four or five chords, he leaned closer to his daughter. “Do you see how my fingers are on the strings here?”
“Uh-huh.” Elizabeth nodded and studied the fingers of Derek’s left hand. “I see them.”
“And look at how my other hand is strumming the strings.” He demonstrated again under the little girl’s intent regard. “This is the way you hold a guitar to play it. Now you try it.”
As Derek carefully placed the guitar in Elizabeth’s lap, Athena bit back a peal of laughter. The instrument was as big as Elizabeth, and completely dwarfed the little girl. This didn’t appear to deter her in the least, though. Face set with determination, she attempted to emulate Derek’s posture, and stretched her arms at maximum length to get her hands in position.
Determination changed to irritation when she was unable to wrap her hand around the neck of the guitar, much less get her fingers on the strings. As for strumming the instrument, Elizabeth’s right arm was too short to allow her hand access, and after a brief struggle she sighed in defeat. Soft brows drawn together, she turned to face Derek.
“Daddy, you’re just going to have to get a new guitar. This one doesn’t work right.”
Eyes shining with mirth, Derek rubbed a finger hard under his nose for a moment. “You may be right, Elizabeth,” he said in a voice full of suppressed laughter. “It does appear to be a bit large. I suppose we’ll have to put off the guitar lesson for another day.”
As if by magic, Elizabeth’s frown disappeared to be replaced by excitement. “Can we go to the park, then?”
Floundering at the abrupt change of subject, Derek stammered. “The, um…go to the park?”
“Yes!” Elizabeth allowed him to take the guitar from her with no protest. “We can play on the slide, and you can push me on the swings and the merry-go-round, and help me on the monkey bars.”
“Monkey…” Derek shot a quick glance full of confusion at Athena who nodded at him in reassurance. Seeing it, his face cleared, and he smiled at his daughter. “All right, then. The park it is.”
“Yay!” Elizabeth bounded from the bed and raced to the door, pigtails streaming behind her.
“Elizabeth Diane Chand…Marshall!” Athena’s voice stopped her daughter’s flight. “Do not leave this room unless your father and I are with you.”
“Okay,” Elizabeth agreed, and stopped short of opening the door. Instead, she twisted the knob back and forth, keeping rhythm to the words, “Go to the park, and swing on the swing set,” sung under her breath.
After assuring herself that Elizabeth was indeed not opening the door, Athena made her way to Derek who was sliding the guitar case back under the bed.
“Sorry about that,” she told him. “But she really loves the park. There’s nowhere for her to play outdoors where we live now, so she takes every opportunity she can get to go to the playground.”
“No, it’s perfectly fine.” Derek straightened, and cast a fond glance at his daughter. “It’ll be more fun for her than staying in this room. What’s that tune she’s singing?”
After a moment of listening, Athena grinned. “I think it’s ‘Chevy Van’ by Sammy Johns. It was playing on the radio when we were driving over here.”
“Damn, it is, isn’t it?” Derek laughed under his breath. He turned back to Athena and his eyes widened as he seemed to remember something. “Oh, I have something for you.” He bent again and rummaged in the pocket of a soft-sided suitcase, coming up with an envelope he handed over. “Simon sent along your pay. There’s a separate check for each week. He said he had to do it that way for accounting purposes or something.” Derek shrugged. “I don’t know about all that, but that’s why there are four checks instead of one.”
Athena paused in the act of tucking the envelope in her purse, and lifted the flap to look inside. “Four? But I only worked three weeks.”
“Yes, well…” Derek cleared his throat. “I told him it was my fault you left early, and I made him pay you for the full month. You wouldn’t have gone if I hadn’t acted like a right prick, and I didn’t think you should be penalized for that.”
Athena bit the inside of her bottom lip in an attempt to stop it from trembling. “Thank you, Derek,” she murmured. It was easier to keep her gaze on the envelope than look up and let him see the tears of gratitude in her eyes. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I did,” he contradicted. “I know what you want to use the money for, and it’s not right that you should have to put it off longer because of my behavior. And when it comes to that, I’m sorry for the way I acted.”
“It’s okay.” With a deep breath, she blinked the tears away, and stowed the envelope in her purse. “I know it was a shock to hear about Elizabeth.”
“Shock or no, I shouldn’t have said those things to you.” Putting a finger under her chin, he raised her head to look into her eyes. “I didn’t mean them, Athena.”
At the touch of his fingertip against her skin, more than her lip started to tremble. The slight contact sent bolts of heat radiating through her, leaving her weak and short of breath. Embarrassed at her reaction, she thought about stepping back, but she couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to move away from him. A craving to have him touch her with more than just a fingertip zapped through her as fast and unexpected as a flash of lightning from a clear sky. She drew in her breath with a startled gasp, and her tongue peeked out to moisten lips gone suddenly dry.
In that instant, the look in Derek’s eyes sharpened. The apologetic look vanished to be replaced by an intensity with which Athena was very familiar. At the same time, his touch changed. Though he didn’t move, she could have sworn his finger was caressing her chin. How he could caress her while not moving she didn’t know, but damned if he wasn’t doing it.
The tips of her own fingers tingled with the need to touch him in return, to feel the warmth of his skin, and explore the light beard that grew along his jaw line.
“Mama! Daddy!”
The imperious voice of her daughter brought Athena crashing back down to earth. She jerked her head back in surprise, breaking the mesmerizing contact with Derek. Shaking , she turned to see Elizabeth standing with small hands on hips and lips pursed.
“C’mon, y’all,” the little girl demanded. “Let’s go!”
“Hold your horses, munchkin,” Athena replied in a voice at least a register higher than normal. Appalled, she cleared her throat. “The park’s not going anywhere.”
Derek brushed past her, and swept Elizabeth up in his arms. “But we need to hurry to those slides and swings, though, don’t we?”
Athena squared her shoulders and let out a quiet sigh that went unheard over Elizabeth’s delighted giggles. What the hell was wrong with her, anyway? It was idiocy to think anything would ever again happen with Derek. Just look at him – laughing and whirling his daughter around in a circle; it was clear he was unaffected by what just happened. Which meant that nothing had happened. It was all her imagination.
Firming her lips, Athena resolved that she wasn’t going to let Derek Marshall affect her like that again. He was Elizabeth’s father and nothing more. Whatever had been between them was over, and she was going to have to accept that and move on. Even if it killed her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Ripples flowed over th
e surface of the vegetable oil in the skillet, and Athena approached it with trepidation, a bowl of cut potatoes clutched in her hands. She hated dropping things into hot oil, but there was no other way to make the French fries Elizabeth was expecting. Screwing up her face in a proactive grimace, she dropped a handful of potatoes into the oil, and scampered away from the stove as they began to sizzle and pop. When the activity in the skillet throttled back to a reasonable level, she tiptoed forward and added the rest of the potatoes to the pan with quick, jerky movements, careful to keep her skin away from any stray flying bits of hot oil.
Another skillet sat on the stove with six thin hamburger patties keeping warm over low heat. Athena gave them an assessing look as she prodded the fries with a spatula. Before it was over, the burgers would become homemade versions of Big Macs, Elizabeth’s favorite meal. Sure, they could have just gone to McDonald’s for supper, but they’d already eaten lunch at Sonic – Elizabeth’s second favorite burger place since they got to eat in the car – and just because Athena deposited six thousand dollars into her savings account earlier, she saw no reason to waste money on eating out when she could cook it much cheaper at home.
With the fries attended to, she dropped cheese slices over the burger patties, and turned to set the table. Three places, since Elizabeth insisted her father join them for supper. The two of them were in Elizabeth’s bedroom reading storybooks while waiting on the food to be ready, and Athena took the time to collect three plates that actually matched. Not that it mattered. Matching tableware couldn’t make up for the run-down appearance of the apartment.
She couldn’t bear to look at Derek’s face when he saw where they lived; she was too ashamed of the dingy walls, the dull floors, and the sagging, elderly furniture. Oblivious to her mother’s distress, Elizabeth dragged Derek on a tour of the small apartment with the same unrestrained joy she’d shown at the playground, during lunch at Sonic, and on the impromptu tour she’d insisted they give him of her favorite spots in Memphis. After showing Derek the river, Elvis Presley’s house, and her school, Elizabeth made Athena drive through Chickasaw Gardens so she could point out her favorite houses in that beautiful neighborhood. It was when they were leaving that she invited Derek to supper.
After depositing the burgers on the sesame seed buns, Athena checked the fries before removing three homemade chocolate milkshakes from the freezer. While she was at the fridge, she pulled out the lettuce she’d shredded earlier, a sliced onion, pickles, and a bottle of Thousand Island dressing, the fast food chain’s not-so-best-kept-secret “special sauce.” By the time she finished constructing what she and Elizabeth called Big Chandlers, the fries were done and she added them to the plates with dollops of ketchup for dipping.
“Elizabeth, Derek,” she called. “Supper’s ready.” And if that didn’t sound surreal then she didn’t know what did.
But it was no more surreal than sitting down at the kitchen table to eat and seeing Derek sitting across from her as he and Elizabeth carried on a conversation about the book he’d been reading to her. From their discussion, it was apparent they were reading The Worst Witch, and Athena hid frequent smiles behind her napkin at Derek’s interest in Mildred and Maud and the situation with Mildred’s cat, Tabby. He seemed as passionate about the book as Elizabeth, and Athena couldn’t help but melt a bit at the sight of the hard-rocking guitar player caring so much about a book his six-year-old daughter loved.
Intensified melting came about when she took in the whole scene and for a moment saw them as a family sitting down to supper together in the kitchen. If she hadn’t let her fears and insecurities get the best of her all those years ago, the cozy tableau before her might have been a reality instead of the dreamlike situation it was.
That was something else she was going to have to get over – worrying about the ‘what ifs.’ The enormity of her bone-headed actions erased the possibility of A Happy Family. What she needed to focus on was the fact that Derek was now part of Elizabeth’s life, and to be grateful for that. Even if he no longer had feelings for his child’s mother, at least it appeared they were going to be able to have a civil relationship, and might even end up as friends. The past was just that – past. It was time to move on and make the best of the present.
Several hours later, Athena and Derek collapsed on the couch after tucking Elizabeth in bed. The little girl was overjoyed to have both her parents present in her bedroom, and garnered extra kisses and hugs before allowing the lights to be extinguished. For the first time in Athena’s memory, her child had not even glanced toward the now-empty picture frame where Steve’s photo once resided.
With a sigh that sounded completely satisfied, Derek propped his feet on the big wooden cable spool Athena used as a coffee table, and crossed his hands over his lean belly. Athena tried to ignore the fluttering in her chest when she thought how at home he looked.
“Is she always that easy to put to bed?” he inquired.
“Mm-hm.” Athena nodded. “She’s an easy kid. Yeah, there was a time when she was two or three when bedtime was a battle. I don’t know what it is about little kids that they think going to sleep is so horrible. But it didn’t last long, and now she hardly protests at all when I tell her it’s time for bed.”
Derek leaned his head against the back of the couch, closed his eyes and smiled. “She’s an amazing kid is what she is. She’s so bright and outgoing, and she’s so smart.” His eyes opened a slit, and he cast a bright blue gaze her way. “You’ve done such a super job with her.”
“I tried.”
“You succeeded.” A half-smile curved his lips. “She’s happy, healthy and knows she’s loved. Can’t ask for more than that.”
Heat washed into Athena’s cheeks. “Yeah, you can. She needs both her parents, and I’m really glad she’s got that now.”
His unblinking gaze unnerved her, and the backs of her knees prickled as a fine mist of nervous perspiration washed over her. Derek opened and closed his mouth several times before he spoke again.
“I have to thank you.”
Surprise made her jerk back, causing her ankle to come into hard contact with the wooden spool. Glad of an excuse to look away, she bent over and rubbed it, letting her hair fall forward to hide her face. “I’d think that was the last thing you’d have to do.”
“No, I mean it.” A soft sigh made Athena glance up for a moment to see his look of consternation. “Look, I’m still in shock over the whole thing, but I look at her and I see what a wonderful child she is. And that’s thanks to you. Despite everything, I know it was far from easy for you, but it’s clear you’ve put her needs ahead of your own. So when I see my daughter healthy and happy and smart, I’m thankful to you for it.” He leaned forward, and she was forced to meet his eyes. “I also want to thank you for naming her for my mum.”
“Oh.” She abandoned her ankle – it didn’t hurt that much anyway – and sat back, fingers twisting together in her lap. “Well, I always knew if she was a girl that’s what I’d name her.”
“It’s made Mum very happy, if you want to know. And that reminds me.” He cleared his throat, betraying his nervousness. “I want to take her to meet my family before she starts school again in the fall.”
“Absolutely,” Athena replied with no hesitation. “Whenever you want.”
“Okay.” He visibly relaxed at her statement. “That’s good. The band’s going to record our new album at Muscle Shoals Studios in Alabama; that’ll be in July. So I suppose she and I can go the first part of August, since I’ll be on tour in the fall.”
Athena nodded. “Just let me know. She’ll need a passport, but there’s plenty of time to get that.”
“Thanks.” He cast a sideways glance in her direction. “So if she had been a boy would you have given her my dad’s name?”
“No.” Her face scrunched in an apologetic grimace. “But that’s because I never heard his given name, and I didn’t think it would be cool to name a kid Mr. Marshall.” After Derek�
�s snicker died away, she took a deep breath. “If she had been a boy, I would’ve named her Derek.” She heard his sharp indrawn breath, but couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “I just want you to know that I never forgot she was your child. Ever. I know I screwed it all up so bad, and I’m sorry. There hasn’t been one day since then that I haven’t wanted to try to find you and tell you, but I let it go too long, and I didn’t know how to even start.” She hurried to finish before he could interrupt. “I know I don’t have the right to ask for your forgiveness, but I still hope that maybe someday you might be able to forgive me.”
“Athena…”
“It’s okay.” Screwing up her courage, she turned to face him. The stricken look on his face wrenched her heart. “It really is. I mean that. I’m just so glad that you have her now, and that she has you.” A smile tugged at her lips. “She’s really crazy about you.”
“I can’t even begin to describe what it feels like to hear her call me ‘Daddy.’” Blinking rapidly, he looked up at the ceiling. “I never thought I could love anyone so much, and I just met her this morning.” He rolled his shoulders as if to ease a tightness there. “I want to do so much for her, to give her everything.”
“I know how you feel.” Athena turned toward him, tucking one foot under her, and rested her head on her hand. “But, Derek, you can’t do that. She needs to learn that you don’t get something just because you want it. You have to work for it, and earn it. To give her everything she wants just because she wants it wouldn’t be good for her.”
“I know.” His smile was rueful. “It’s just hard not to rush out and shower her with everything she desires.” Dark hair spilled over the back of the sofa as he rolled his head in her direction. “But you’ve already taught her so much. She’s watched you work and save with the goal of having a home. She knows the value of working for something you want just from watching you. And when you get that house then she’ll know the satisfaction of seeing that hard work pay off.” His lips twitched under his moustache. “I promise I won’t undermine that by acting like Father Christmas every day, much as I might want to.”
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