The Dotard

by Greg Curtis

  The mill owner nodded, but didn't come out from behind the lumber pile. Neither did any of his workers as they too decided to remain safely hidden. But then they still had the memories of the Quacks of Terror firmly in their thoughts. Edrick had the strange thought that when he returned – assuming he did – Vard's Pine Yard would be closed and the workers gone.

  With that they set off, making their way slowly down River Street and then turning into Mill Road. The trip wasn't so bad as he'd feared. No one blew up, nothing caught fire and no cows came plummeting out of the sky. In the end he told himself, she was just a little girl. A strange little girl with wings, but still a little girl. He didn't have to be afraid of her.

  Everyone else though was. As they walked along the road, he could see people in the distance who hadn’t noticed her until then, suddenly stop in shock, and then hurriedly head into their houses or places of business and shut their doors. The streets were rapidly being emptied. The porches too, and fairly much every house or shop in the street had a porch with an awning under which people could sit and watch the world go by. Not this day however. As they passed each building he could see worried faces peering out of the windows, no doubt praying to the Mother and the Father that their brick and stone walls would be strong enough to withstand whatever disaster befell them. Some would be praying to other gods too. But Elenar and Golanar and the rest would not help them, Edrick thought. The gods had never helped them before when Wilberton's spells had misfired.

  Behind them though things were different. Once they'd passed by the houses, people began coming out again, to stare at their retreating backs. He kept turning around and seeing their heads poking out of doorways. Some of them even started following them – from a safe distance.

  The town guards were out in force too he discovered. Some of them followed the two of them with the others. A few others bravely stood on the sides of the street as they walked past. They all had their rifles with them he noticed – just in case. He prayed to the gods that the guards didn’t decide to suddenly fire. She really was just a child. He also worried for his own safety, as he knew their aim wasn't that great!

  Edrick and the child continued on their slow walk through Coldwater, walking down the middle of the dirt streets so that everyone could see them, and only moving to the side to avoid any puddles left over from the previous night's rain. The strange thing was that the longer they walked, the more Edrick became convinced that she was exactly what she appeared to be; a little girl – with wings. There was no magical threat there. No danger.

  Someone though had lit the street lamps despite the fact that it was the middle of the day. Why? Was it supposed to be a warning of some sort? A silent alarm instead of a klaxon? Or was it just another example of Wilberton’s misfiring magic?

  Soon they turned off Mill Road and onto White Way, and then walked to the end of it and then down the unnamed lane that led to Wilberton's home.

  It was there that things finally changed. Mostly because Carrie Wilberton came running down the lane toward them, looking flustered. And when he saw her running Edrick knew he'd come to the right place. Or perhaps that should have been the wrong place – because he didn't want to be here. He would have desperately loved for this to be something other than another of the wizard's mistakes. But from the fact that Carrie was running, he knew that this had to be Wilberton's doing as he'd guessed.

  “Damn it!” Edrick let out a small sigh of regret. But it wasn't because of Carrie. He liked Carrie. She was sweet and pretty, and when she ran to them he could see all her womanly attributes flowing nicely under her summer dress. Under better circumstances he would have liked to see more of her. There were after all only three wizards in town and he was one of them even if no one else knew it. They should stick together. He could even overlook the Guild ring on her finger.

  But her grandfather was a nightmare, and to make matters worse the wizard had a keen dislike of him. Actually it was more like outright hatred. The wizard was not going to appreciate his poking his nose in to matters that didn't concern him. In fact Wilberton would no doubt tell him exactly that. It was going to be bad.

  “Lost someone?” He called to her.

  “Yes. I was worried.” She stopped in front of them and then went down on one knee before the girl. “You shouldn't have flown away like that.” She reached out a hand and put it on the little girl's shoulder. “You could have got lost.”

  “She doesn't speak Common – or Rivernian,” Edrick told her.

  “I know. But she speaks Friend.”

  Maybe Carrie was right. The little girl did seem to accept the touch and offered up a shy smile. Maybe they knew one another? Either way he thought, his job was done, and he passed her hand to Carrie's.

  But if he'd finished one task, he knew the next was only just beginning. He had to find out just what spell Wilberton had miscast this time.

  “So, what's the old dotard done this time? And how badly is it going to bite us?”

  “Mind your manners! That's my grandfather you're speaking about!” Carrie snapped at him. “And one of the most powerful and highly regarded wizards in the realm! You will speak of him with respect!”

  “And I would do so, except that after the ducks and the frogs I thought he'd agreed to hang up his cauldron. Now this? He's like one of Andal's disciples! Just when you think nothing else can go wrong, it does!”

  But was it simple misfortune? Sometimes he wondered. Sometimes when he looked at Wilberton he saw more than just a crazy old wizard. He caught a glimpse of something darker lurking behind those ancient eyes. Something that he couldn't describe. Whatever it was it chilled him.

  “She's just a lost little girl who flew a little too far away. There's absolutely nothing to worry about,” Carrie told him firmly as she ignored the jab about the God of Misfortune. “Now you've done a good thing in bringing her back here and I thank you for it. Even if you are a bloody great oaf! And a lying one at that! Now go and leave the rest to us. We'll take care of them.”

  “What?! What did you say?!” Edrick was caught by surprise. And then he grew worried. Very worried. He didn't care about being called an oaf – she'd called him far worse. Nor the fact that she’d called him a liar. The fact was that he did pretend to the townsfolk that he was just a silver miner and refused to tell them his real name. Carrie didn't like knowing that and not being allowed to say anything. She thought it made her a liar too. But that didn't matter just then.

  “I said you can go.”

  “No! No!” He shook his head vigorously. “You said – them! There's more of them?” And yet even as he asked he wondered why he even bothered. Of course, there were more of them! There were always more. Whether it was ducks or frogs one was never enough. By Sirtis there had even been more than one cow to fall out of the sky!

  “It's nothing to concern yourself about.” She wrapped her arms around the girl's waist and then picked her up. “Everything's in hand.”

  “Oh crap!” He swore a few more times for good measure. She was lying! From the moment the words came out of Carrie's mouth he knew she was lying. Covering for her grandfather's mistakes – again.

  “Praise Sirtis Carrie, how many is it?”

  “I said it's in hand.” Carrie tried to stare him down. But she wasn't very good at it and her eyes quickly danced awkwardly off him. “Now just go away and tell everyone there's nothing to worry about. She raised her voice so that the people in the lane behind them could hear her.

  “I'm not lying to them! How many is it? How bad?” Edrick repeated the question.

  “Just a few! No more! And they'll all be going home soon. Just as soon as Grandfather fixes the portal. And what’s the problem with lying about this? You lie so often! What's one more?!”

  “Fixes the portal?!” Edrick choked the words out. He knew that was bad. And he even knew why. “They're still coming?”

  “No! No, no, no! He's stopped that.”

  But even as she said it there was a f
lash of light in the distance that Edrick knew was the result of some sort of magic. And he could see the trapped look of a child caught with her fingers in the sweet jar in Carrie's eyes. He stared at her until she finally backed down.

  “He's stopping it,” she mumbled.

  “Oh by the gods! Praise Sirtis Carrie, show me!”

  Edrick knew he had to find out the truth. If only so he could decide what to do. But selfishly he was already thinking that he should just turn tail and run. Go back to his home and lock the door behind him. He was just grateful he lived in another realm. He would be safe there he reasoned, no matter what happened in Coldwater. It wasn't a noble thought. But it was hard to be noble when the memory of those damned ducks was suddenly so clear in his thoughts.

  “There's nothing to see.” But her voice and the way she didn’t quite meet his eyes said otherwise. Carrie then turned around and started walking back to the house, the winged girl in her arms.

  After a moment Edrick followed along the grass lane just behind her, having firmly squelched all thoughts of fleeing.

  Edrick was nervous as he followed her down the track, wondering what he'd find waiting for him. And as they walked his eyes were constantly on the far end of the lane, trying to see through the stand of trees that hid the wizard's home from the rest of the town. What lay ahead he wondered? More of the winged people? The girl's family? Or something worse? He very much feared it was something much worse.

  Wilberton was old. His mind was slipping, his magic failing. Carrie might deny it as she stood up for her grandfather, but everyone knew the truth. It was why the last time he'd caused mayhem in the town, the town had got together and demanded he hang up his cauldron. He was just too old. Too dangerous. And they simply couldn't face any more ducks! He had to retire or leave. That was the choice they'd given him. And finally Wilberton had agreed to retire and they’d all hoped that that would be the end of it. They should have known better.

  Once they reached the end of the lane and Edrick could finally see through the break in the tree line that served as a gate, it became clear that it was worse than he'd feared. Much worse.

  “Shite!”

  There were winged people everywhere! They were dozens of them in the wizard's front yard, standing around talking to one another in excited tones. Some were waving their arms, some were shouting and even more were flapping their wings. All of them looked worried. Looking up Edrick could see some had perched on the roof of the wizard’s three-story house. Sitting on the ridge, they were staring down at all that was happening. Edrick could see more of them in the trees. And in the middle of the garden stood the wizard, yelling at them.

  He'd lost his wits! That was Edrick's first thought. It was his only thought for a time. Wilberton was standing there on the grass yelling at people who didn’t understand a word he was saying and who had been brought there by him through no fault of their own. Two of the winged people closest to him had swords strapped to their hips and their hands were on the hilts. Their faces were filled with thunder. Wilberton was clearly upsetting them with his shouting and he didn't even seem to understand it.

  But maybe it was best that they didn't understand? If they did they would have realised he was mad. Completely. Wilberton was demanding that they stop annoying him and let him work. He kept saying that it would be alright as he'd fix everything. He even flashed his Guild ring at them as if it should mean something.

  The wizard's mind had finally gone. If he couldn't understand that these people didn't speak Common or Rivernian and therefore his yelling at them wouldn't help, what hope was there that he could fix his mess?

  Meanwhile the rest of the winged people were arguing among themselves. They obviously didn't know what had happened either. They probably didn't know where they were or how they'd got here. Or that the white-haired madman in the tattered robes was the one who'd brought them here. They were also scared. He could see it in their faces. Hear it in their voices. They were one short step away from outright panic.

  “Carrie, that is not “a few”. And it is anything but ‘in hand.’”

  Carrie wasn't listening to him though. The little girl in her arms had just spotted her family and was calling to them and Carrie immediately turned around and hurried over to them, forgetting that he had been talking to her. But even as she left him standing there, Edrick saw another flash of light. He looked up just in time to see a spinning ball of light fade in the sky, followed by the appearance of a winged woman. Immediately she appeared she started to fall through the air before quickly catching herself with her wings and then gliding the rest of the way to the ground. It seemed that the portal was still bringing them through. And despite Carrie's hopes and the wizard's yelling, it didn't seem that either of them could do anything about it. The situation was only going to get worse.

  Despite the unfolding disaster, Edrick still found himself lost in the wonder of seeing the woman flying. To see the way she stretched her wings out wide to catch the air. And that once she was down, the way she folded them away, until they lay like a feathery blanket over her back. But then he saw the look of utter confusion and fear on her face and his wonder died. These people needed help.

  “Blaggard! Knave! Be gone!”

  Edrick looked back at the crowd in the garden to see that the wizard had noticed him and was calling him by some of his favourite pet names. He groaned. Things were about to get worse.

  “I told you before! I don't want you on my property! And I especially don’t want you going anywhere near my granddaughter! You’re not fit to be seen in her company! No liars allowed!” Wilberton looked angry. And confused. Mostly though he looked disturbed.

  Maybe it was the huge shock of white hair that ran chaotically down around his shoulders that gave the impression of someone not quite in his right mind, Edrick thought. Maybe if he cut it and brushed it he would seem more civilised? Less like a crazy old man. Some new clothes might help too. Something other than the tattered old robes that had been embellished with a giant glyph of Sirtis which he insisted on wearing all the time. The damned thing had more patches in it than what was left of the original material. Moreover, both the hems and cuffs of the robe had long since unravelled and they trailed long tufts of cotton.

  Then again, he was actually mad. New clothes and a brush might not help.

  It had been some time since Edrick had last set eyes on the wizard. He didn't come to town that often and when he did he tried to avoid him. But clearly things had deteriorated significantly in the intervening months. Looking at him now he couldn’t see even the remaining semblance of sanity that had still been there the last time he'd seen him.

  “And you also promised the town that you'd retire!” Edrick replied, wondering why he even bothered given that the man couldn’t be reasoned with. It wasn't as if it he minded Wilberton calling him a liar. He'd heard it before, and he didn't care. It was certainly true that he hid the fact that he could do a few spells from the townsfolk. He also hid other things about his background too. Edrick didn’t consider it important. It wasn’t as if his omissions endangered anyone. Not the way Wilberton’s reckless use of magic did.

  “I did you miserable little worm! I was just trying something.”

  “Well next time, just – don’t!” he yelled back. Then he regretted it. Why was he yelling at the wizard, Edrick wondered? It didn't help. It was just that sometimes the man made him so very angry. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down.

  “Now, can you fix this old man?”

  “Of course I can! Are you questioning my ability? A drooling little guttersnipe like you?! I’ll fix it. But it’ll just take a bit of time. Not too long at all! That's what I've been trying to tell them. But they just won't listen!”

  That last really knocked Edrick back on his feet. Had the wizard really just said that, he wondered? Was the wizard's mind completely gone? It took him a moment to control his temper and keep from yelling at the man. “Perhaps it would work better if yo
u could tell it to them in a tongue they understood.”

  “And what's that supposed to mean you knave?! Are you suggesting that I don't speak perfectly clearly?!”

  Edrick let out an exasperated groan. The man's mind wasn't slipping any more. It had fallen all the way into the abyss! The fact that he hadn’t realised that the people didn't speak Common was surely a very bad sign. The fact that the wizard had given up completely on yelling at the winged people and was focussing all his anger on him also didn’t help. How could Wilberton fix the problem if he couldn't even stay focussed on it?

  Which meant he realised, that it was up to him. But there wasn't a lot he could do. He couldn't do anything about the portal. Even if it had been a spell he knew, it wasn't his spell. It was Wilberton's. It was tricky to take another wizard's spell and alter it. Especially if that other wizard was more powerful. And for all his failings, Wilberton was a very powerful wizard.