An Honorable Man

by Margaret Watson

  The trip back to the motel was equally silent. Clenching her teeth, she looked out the window and tried to tell herself that she had to endure only for a few more hours. After they caught the policemen with the Demons, the case would be over and she wouldn’t have to see Luke ever again.

  The lump of tears that had been threatening ever since Luke discovered her deception slid down her throat and lodged in her chest. How long would it take to forget about him and get on with her life?

  An icicle pierced her heart at the thought. She wouldn’t ever forget him. There might come a time when she would be able to function, to put on a normal face for the rest of the world, but it would all be a cruel facade. Without Luke, there wouldn’t be anything alive inside her.

  When they got back to the motel, Luke got out of the car and came around to open her door. The small, unconscious gesture made the tears threaten to fall, but she ducked her head and didn’t look at him as she followed him up the stairs to the third-floor prison. Once they were back in the room, he picked up the papers he’d been working on and cleared his throat.

  “The meeting is for ten o’clock, so we’re going to get there at seven-thirty. You are going to do everything I say, when I say it. Is that clear?”

  He was going to take her along? Her spirit soared, but crashed to earth a second later when he added, “I don’t have any choice but to take you. I can’t let you go so that you can run to your brother, and I can’t leave you here unless I tie you up.” For just a second a look of pain passed over his hardened features. “No matter what you’ve done, I can’t do that to you. So you’ll just have to come with me. But if you try to influence this in any way, I won’t hesitate to stop you.” The momentary softening was gone from his face. “Is that clear?”

  She nodded. “I won’t do anything or get in the way.”

  She didn’t want to be there to see Bobby arrested, but he wasn’t giving her a choice. Bobby. She’d tried to avoid thinking about him, but now memories came flooding back. He was her baby brother, the one she’d always felt responsible for. She was the one who’d rescued him from scrapes when they were children, keeping his escapades from her parents. When they were teenagers, he would go to her for help, knowing she would give it unconditionally.

  And when he got older and started running with the wrong crowd, she was the one who’d convinced him to try police work as an alternative. She’d shared his triumphs and his problems at the academy, and no one had been prouder than her on the day he’d graduated. Her heart had felt as if it would burst at the sight of him in his uniform, standing tall and proud alongside the other rookies.

  What could have gone wrong in six months? Why had he chosen the path of easy wealth over honor and justice? Julia bit her lip. Had she helped her brother out of one too many jams, made him think that someone would always be there to rescue him from trouble? Was she the one to blame for his lack of responsibility?

  “You might as well get your stuff together.” Luke’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “If everything works out tonight, we won’t have to come back here.”

  What he really meant was that he didn’t want to have to think about her for any longer than necessary, she told herself bitterly, choking back a response. She didn’t know that a person’s heart could hurt so much. Standing up too quickly, she stumbled once as she walked over to her suitcase. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Luke instinctively reach out for her.

  She righted herself by grabbing the chair, and he curled his fingers into his palm and let his hand drop. Just as well, she told herself, squatting next to her suitcase. If he touched her right now she would probably humiliate herself by begging him to forgive her, and she didn’t want to have anything else to torture herself with during the lonely months and years ahead.

  Packing slowly and carefully, she tried to concentrate only on the task at hand, deliberately erasing from her mind any other thoughts. By the time she’d finished, Luke had his duffel bag packed and was sitting on the bed, waiting for her.

  “Ready to go?” he asked.

  She nodded, not looking at him. Stripped of all their belongings, the room looked sterile and impersonal once again. There was no trace of the passionate lovemaking they’d shared. The bed had been made neatly by the maid, the sheets, blankets and pillows replaced where they belonged. Would it be that easy for Luke to erase his memories of what they’d shared, she wondered.

  She glanced over at him. It looked as if he already had. The glance he gave her was completely cold and impersonal, and she picked up her suitcase and waited for him to open the door.

  “I paid for another night, so if something goes wrong we can always come back here,” he surprised her by saying.

  “Nothing’s going to go wrong.” She heard the desperate tone in her voice, but she didn’t care. Just the thought of spending another night in this room with him, in that bed with all the memories, made her insides clench into a hard, painful ball.

  “Something can always go wrong,” he said as they got into the car. She felt his eyes on her, but couldn’t look at him. She knew she would see only accusation in them.

  Taking a deep breath as he started the car, she waited until they were headed for Humboldt Park before asking, “What are you planning?”

  He didn’t answer, and for a moment she thought he wasn’t going to. Then he surprised her by saying, “The meeting’s for ten o’clock. They’re sure to have some people there early to stand guard, but I’m hoping they won’t be there yet. I’m going to check out the building, make sure I know where all the exits are, then find a place for us to hide.”

  She allowed herself to look over at him. “How are we going to arrest them ourselves? You have a gun and I have a badge, but aren’t we going to need some help?”

  Shifting in his seat, his hands tightened on the steering wheel and he nodded curtly. “We might. Once I check the place out, I’ll decide if I should call the captain.”

  “We’re pretty sure he’s not involved, but how can you be certain?”

  He looked over at her, his mouth grim. “I can’t. But I may have to take that chance if I don’t think I can handle it myself.”

  “Surely there’s something I can do.”

  His lips tightened. “Your job is to keep your butt where I tell you to put it and keep your mouth shut. That’s it.”

  She wanted to protest, but knew it would be useless. It was more than clear there was no way he was going to trust her with any part in his plans.

  And anyway, she asked herself with a stab of pain, did she want him to? Watching Eddie Timmons and the others get arrested would make up for the months of work she’d done on this case, but did she really want to be there while someone handcuffed her brother and shoved him into a police wagon?

  “You won’t have to worry. I’ll do exactly what you tell me to do.”

  “Damn straight you will.”

  He didn’t even glance at her. They were approaching Humboldt Park now, and she could feel his tension gathering in the closed atmosphere of the car. The neighborhood was beginning to take on the ghostly appearance it had the other night. No one stayed out on these streets after dark if they could help it.

  “Here we are.” Luke spoke abruptly, and she looked up with a start. They drove past an old warehouse, gray and neglected in the fading light. All the windows were dark, and there were no cars in the parking lot next to it. It looked abandoned and unused, another casualty of urban blight and job flight to the suburbs.

  “It doesn’t look like anyone’s used it for quite a while,” she ventured, turning her head to watch it as they drove past.

  “That’s probably why the Demons chose it. I imagine it’s been like that for years. It’s just another abandoned building in a city full of them.”

  He drove several blocks away from it, then parked the car on a residential street. As they sat in the car in the gathering dusk, she felt his eyes on her.

  “Julia,” he said, “I wish…”


  She waited for him to finish, but silence quivered between them for what seemed like a long time. Finally he muttered, “I wish I didn’t have to bring you with me.”

  It wasn’t what he’d begun to say, she was sure of it. But it didn’t matter anyway, she told herself. The only thing that mattered was getting through this night, one minute at a time. She couldn’t bear to think any further ahead than that. The loss of Luke and her brother at the same time was too overwhelming to contemplate.

  “Come on,” he said in a low voice. “I’ve got things to do.”

  It was more dark than light as they walked the blocks back to the warehouse. Remembering what had happened the last time they were in this neighborhood made Julia want to press closer to Luke, but she forced herself to keep a distance between them. In a few minutes, the gray shape of the warehouse loomed up in front of them.

  Luke stopped suddenly, reaching out and grabbing her arm so she would stop, too. He dropped it as soon as she’d halted, snatching his hand away and jamming it in his pocket. She looked down to where her skin still tingled on her forearm and wondered if he’d felt it, too.

  If he did he wasn’t paying any attention. He’d pulled her into the shadow of the building next to them, and now bent over to whisper, “There’s someone in front of the warehouse. I didn’t think the Demons would have someone here so soon. We’ll have to go around to avoid him.”

  They hurried across the street, sticking to the shadows. Walking past the warehouse quickly, they turned and doubled back, slipping past the rusting gate across the entrance to the parking lot to stand in the shadows next to a window.

  They stood there for a long time. Julia braced herself for the sound of someone coming, for a yell that would tell them they’d been discovered, but there was nothing but silence. Finally Luke stepped over to the window and looked inside. Julia expected to hear a hail of bullets in answer, but there was no response from inside the dark building.

  When he moved away from the window, he stepped close to her and whispered into her ear, “I can’t see much because there’s a pile of boxes in front of the window, but I don’t hear anything from inside. Let’s go and see if we can get one of the doors open.”

  He led the way out of the parking lot and around to the big door in front of the building. There was no one in sight, and she stood and watched nervously as he tried to open the door. The huge wooden panel was just beginning to creak open when Luke froze.

  “What are you doing?”

  It wasn’t Luke’s voice that spoke, and slowly she turned to look at the boy who was sticking a gun in Luke’s back. There was something familiar about him, and as she stared at him, Luke turned around to face him.

  “Piotyr?” he said, his voice incredulous. “What are you doing here?”

  Even in the dim light Julia could see the boy pale. “Mr. McKinley,” he breathed. “They never said you would be here.”

  “Who never said what, Piotyr?”

  The boy shook his head, the gun wobbling in his hand. “You’ve gotta leave, Mr. McKinley. If they catch you here, we’ll both be in big trouble.” He sounded desperately frightened.

  Luke glanced down at the gun in the boy’s hand. “Give me the gun, Piotyr,” he said, his voice infinitely gentle. “It’s dangerous to wave it around like that.”

  “I can’t.” The words came out in a croak as Piotyr looked around with haunted eyes. “This is my initiation. I’m supposed to take care of anyone that comes snooping around.” He looked back at Luke, pleading with him. “Just leave, Mr. McKinley. Okay?”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Piotyr. I guess you’ll just have to shoot me.”

  Julia gasped, but Luke didn’t even look at her. His gaze fixed on Piotyr, he stood perfectly still while the boy stared back at him, the gun waving wildly in his hand. When he finally lowered the gun so it pointed at the sidewalk, Luke reached out slowly and pried it out of his fingers.

  “What are you doing here, Piotyr?” Luke drew him away from the door that had opened a crack and around the corner into the shadows. “How did you get involved with the Demons?”

  Piotyr Bernowski looked both sullen and scared. “Everyone else made fun of me because of my English. They were the only ones at my school who were nice to me.”

  “And now you want to join the gang?”

  The sullen look disappeared from his face, and now he only looked like a frightened child. “No,” he whispered. “I don’t. But all of a sudden they were telling me I could join, and I didn’t know what else to do. I knew if I didn’t that I would be in big trouble and they would do something to me.” He looked shamefaced. “I skipped school a lot and hung around with them. I guess I heard things I wasn’t supposed to hear.”

  “What do you want to do, Piotyr?” Luke asked in a gentle voice, and suddenly Julia could see the boy’s lower lip trembling.

  “I want to go home.”

  “Do you know what’s going on here tonight, Piotyr?”

  Slowly Piotyr nodded. “I wasn’t supposed to know, but I overheard some of them talking about it.”

  Luke put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “That makes you an accessory to the crime, you know.”

  The boy nodded, tears welling in his eyes.

  “I’m supposed to turn you in, but I’m willing to make a deal with you. Are you interested in that?”

  Piotyr nodded more vigorously, tears standing on the edge of his eyelashes. “Yes,” he whispered.

  “If you go home now and don’t tell anyone about what happened here tonight, and promise not to have anything more to do with the Demons, I’ll forget about seeing you here. Do you think you could do that?”

  “Yes, Mr. McKinley,” Piotyr blurted out. “I promise. I’ll do whatever you say.”

  “Good. Now you go on home.”

  Piotyr looked around anxiously. “What if one of them sees me leave?” he whispered. “I’m not supposed to leave until the others get here.”

  “When is that going to be?”

  “They didn’t say. They just told me to stay here until they arrived, and kill anyone who was snooping around.” His voice began trembling again, and he turned away and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

  “You won’t have to worry about killing anyone, Piotyr.”

  “And he won’t have to worry about running into the Demons on the street,” Julia interjected. “I’ll drive him home.”

  Luke turned to her, and she could feel him assessing her reasons. “Do you have any other solutions, Luke?” she asked. “It’s either that or let him go alone and hope he doesn’t run into anyone.”

  “No,” he said finally. “There isn’t any other choice.” He watched her for a moment. “And what about you, Julia?”

  “I’ve already given you my word that I won’t contact Bobby. What more can I do?”

  He sighed. “I’ll have to trust you, I guess, because I don’t have any other choice. Go on, take him home. And as long as I’m letting you leave, stay away from here after you deliver him to his mother. There’s no reason for you to be in the line of fire. I’ll call for backup after you leave.”

  This was it, then. She probably wouldn’t see him again. Her heart contracted as she stood on the sidewalk and tried to memorize his face. It was half in the darkness, but she could swear there was regret and something more in his eyes, something he tried very hard to hide. Staring at him for a moment, longing to tell him how she felt and that she was sorry about the way things had happened, she began to speak when Piotyr touched her arm.

  “We should go now,” he whispered. “The longer I am here, the more dangerous it is for all of us.”

  “All right.” With one last look at Luke, she turned to go. He stopped her with a touch on her arm, and she spun around, hoping to see forgiveness in his eyes.

  Instead he handed her the gun Piotyr had pointed at him. “Here, take this. It’s four blocks back to the car, and you may need it.”

  She hefted the unwelcome weight in
her hand and watched as he vanished into the shadows. After a moment, she turned and led Piotyr away.

  Luke stood next to the dilapidated building and watched them go with regret, anger and desire together churning a hole in his gut. In spite of the fact that she had used and deceived him, he still wanted Julia Carleton with a desperation that infuriated him. He wanted to run after her and tell her to wait for him, that he would let the cops have their dirty money and let the Demons have their drugs. He was willing to betray his honor for Julia Carleton, and he had to force himself to watch them disappear.

  Shocked at himself, he slid farther into the shadows and tried to concentrate on what he had to do, but Julia’s face kept appearing in front of him. She was pleading for him to forgive her, to understand, and he almost reached out to pull her closer.

  His fingers closed around a handful of air, and he clenched his fist and let it drop to his side. Julia had made her choice, just as he’d made his. He couldn’t let his emotions interfere with the job he had to do.

  And his job right now was to get inside this warehouse and scope out the situation. If he was going to call the captain and tell him to send some men over, he’d have to do it soon. Finding Piotyr here had really messed up his schedule.

  When he looked at the street in front of the warehouse, he saw that it was deserted. The door was still cracked open, just wide enough for him to slip through. After one last look around, he ducked into the building, then stood there for a moment as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

  But it wasn’t as dark as he’d expected, and his pounding heart slowed as he looked around. There were several skylights in the ceiling, and although the glass was dirty and streaked, they let in enough light for him to find his way around the building.

  One side of the building was piled high with the boxes he’d seen through the window. Some stood on pallets, some on the floor, and none of them looked as if they’d been disturbed for years. Cobwebs and dust covered them so completely that he couldn’t read what was stamped on their sides. The rest of the building was open, with a loft running around the entire perimeter. Several rickety staircases led up to it, but he wouldn’t have trusted a dog’s weight to the old wood, let alone a person’s.