Once & Future

by Cori McCarthy

  Ari sharpened. What had they made him promise?

  “How about we don’t lie to her?” Ari asked forcefully. “How about we trust her to handle whatever’s going on?” Lamarack lifted an eyebrow. Wow, she was doing a terrible Kay. “Tell me what… Mercer did to you. You never told me the whole story,” Ari guessed. Kay could be spineless; he’d rather have a snack than the harsh details.

  Lam squinted, but they kept talking. “After your moms were arrested and you came to Pluto… and my parents turned you away, they allowed Mercer to lock down the docking bay until associates could pick you two up.”

  “Your parents called Mercer on us?” Ari asked, her voice tight. “Your parents?” She sat on the edge of the hammock, Kay’s too-wide body making her bump into Lam.

  “I was so mad, Kay. I snuck into the tower and hit the fuses so you could fly out. Mercer was going to send me to some work camp as punishment. My parents paid them off, and I ended up with a reminder of my disobedience.” Lam rubbed their left wrist. “I was lucky.”

  Only Lam would look at the loss of their hand as luck. Always optimistic. Always looking for beauty, for hope. After all, that’s why she’d set her young eyes on them. When everyone else was grumbling about water shortages at knight camp or static storms coming off the desert on Lionel, Lamarack would find an odd flower growing between the rock walls. They’d pull her over to see it. Proof of life, no matter what.

  Lam squeezed Ari’s Kay-shoulder. “The bounty on your head was part money, part violent threat. The worst one my parents ever saw come through the militarized associates.”

  “Oh.” Ari had always known that they were marked, but this? They were being specifically—and expensively—hunted. “It’s a miracle they haven’t caught us yet.”

  “I bet they’ve been monitoring you.” Lam folded their arms over their chest. “Waiting to see if Ari has contacts outside Ketch. Or inside.”

  Contacts? Ari would kill for a few Ketchan contacts. She kept that to herself.

  “And now we have no choice but to run into the black,” Ari said quietly.

  Lam shook their head. “You promised to let me off first, man. I need to get to Lionel. They’re going to track that call you made from Earth, and they know I helped you in the past. When they can’t find me, they’ll go after my brother, Kay. I have to warn him.”

  “Val?”

  “He’s a fancy type on Lionel now. An adviser to the queen. Can you believe that?”

  “Yes.” Ari imagined the boy who had been her favorite brand of childhood mischief. “He could rig any system by its own rules. It was his specialty.”

  “What if they take more than Val’s hand, Kay? Can you live with that?”

  “No,” she said slowly, processing. No, she could not live with one of her very few friends being tracked down because Mercer had a renewed interest in her existence.

  Lamarack put their hand on her shoulder. “You don’t look so good. Your skin is grayer than your hair.”

  Ari blasted out of the room, terrified by how much her brother’s boots crashed on the grated walkway with each step. She must have been a solid hundred pounds heavier than usual, but that wasn’t important. She slammed her fist on the cockpit door. Over and over.

  Her brother answered angrily—before he stared. And blinked. Then he started screaming. “I’ve lost it! I’ve lost my damn mind!”

  “You haven’t. Shut up. I’m Ari.”

  “Ari?” Lam asked. They’d followed from the bunk room and were now turning from Kay to Ari-Kay. “What the actual fuck…”

  Merlin-Kay came running in, orange cheese flavoring stuck all over his face and hands. “Why are we screaming?”

  Kay pointed to Merlin-Kay and started screaming all over again.

  “Merlin!” Ari yelled over the sound. “Change us back.”

  “It takes less magic if it wears off,” he said.

  “Change us back, little wizard!” Ari cried.

  “I prefer magician.” Merlin wiggled his fingers and muttered. Ari felt the full body itch again, and then she relaxed into her slender and suddenly gangly frame. She took one deep breath, enjoying her own body before she pushed her brother in the chest with both hands, shoving him into the cockpit and shutting the door behind them.

  “What in the hell just happened?” Kay blustered.

  “I told you Merlin has magic. And you know I don’t lie,” Ari snapped. Kay opened his mouth, but she talked over him. “Val is in trouble, Kay. Because of me. We’re going to Lionel. Now.”

  “We can’t take on Mercer in a retired lifeboat. Our best bet is to escape. Val has people who will look out for him.”

  “What did our moms make you promise before they were arrested?” she asked. Kay looked over at her, a painfully slow move. “I want the truth. I can handle it.”

  “The truth is that you’re reckless, and everyone who loves you gets punished,” Kay blustered. Ari’s face stung as though he’d slapped it. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I didn’t tell you about Lamarack because I didn’t want you to feel like it was your fault. All because you…”

  Ari waited for a word that could possibly cap that sentence. When Kay couldn’t find it, she finished for him. “Exist?”

  “Yeah,” he said sadly. “Lam thinks that going to Lionel will help Val, but it’ll just prove to Mercer that Val is leverage. If we don’t go, Val will be safer. Lam should understand that.”

  “You’re being a coward, Kay.”

  Her brother punched her in the arm. Hard. “Mercer will arrest us. Send us to a work camp or prison. Or worse.” Ari searched her brother’s eyes. Desperation made them glow, or maybe that was just Error’s cockpit lights. “We’ve got four people on board and only enough supplies for two. We aren’t going to get far. We have to make some choices.”

  “We eat Merlin.”

  Kay barked a surprised laugh. “Too gamey.”

  “So we don’t run. We make a stand. We have a magician now. He can change our faces like he did a few minutes ago.”

  Kay’s head jerked up. “Really?”

  Ari stared out the window. Either the black of space or her frozen fear had finally gotten to her. “Or I’ll go away. By myself. Maybe they’ll follow me and leave you all alone.”

  “We’re staying together, Ari.” Her brother leaned closer, pulling her attention from the void outside… and the one inside. “Ten years ago, I had a dream that I could hear a kid crying. When I woke up, I told our moms that the junked ships we were passing weren’t empty. Someone was on them. They listened to me because, well, you and I have the best parents in this damn universe.”

  Ari’s heart beat wildly. Kay never talked about the day he’d found her. They didn’t need to talk about it; the sharpness of the memory still cut.

  “We flew to those junked ships, and I climbed through them until I found you in that empty water heater, all starving.” He opened his hand to Ari, showing off the circular scar on his palm from one of the water heating coils. It matched the scars all over Ari, the lifelong souvenirs from her time trapped at the bottom of that barrel. “That was magic, Ari. We were meant to find you. To keep you safe.”

  Ari ran her fingers down Excalibur, aching to use it to make some sort of difference in this messed-up universe. “But I can’t live knowing that our parents are suffering, Kay. Can you?” She took a shaky breath. “And we can’t leave Val to face Mercer.”

  Kay shook his head, looking like Captain Mom. They had the same roughly blond hair that skewed gray. Captain Mom had been their leader, and now Kay was in charge, but he was too soft. Too much like Mom, a squishy hug of feelings. “Ari, before Mercer took them, they made me promise one thing. One. To keep you safe. They traded their freedom so we could get away.” He leaned over the control panel. “If I jeopardize that, they’ll never forgive me. I will never forgive myself. So we’re going to Tanaka. Or the Ridges, if Error can make it.”

  “I love you, but you leave me no choice.” Ari sighed de
eply. And then she kicked her brother’s ass, wrestled him out of the cockpit, and used Excalibur to wedge the door closed.

  “No turning back,” she muttered, laying in the course for Lionel.

  The winds blew strong on this new planet, and Merlin’s robe nipped at his ankles like a terrier. When he turned in one direction, he saw Error, surrounded by desert of the tan, sandstone variety. When he turned the other, he saw a page ripped from his own past. Tournament rings. Pennants. Thatched houses, piping smoke, a lively marketplace.

  Merlin grabbed Arthur—girl Arthur—no, Ari—as she passed him.

  “This place…” He pointed to the city, then lapsed into song lyrics, a habit that bubbled up when he was nervous. “‘Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?’”

  “This is the place where medieval dreams come true, better known as Lionel. We used to come here every summer so that Lam and Kay could smash about like would-be heroes at knight camp.” Ari rested a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “From the ecstatic look on your face, I’m guessing you’d like me to sign you up.”

  Merlin stammered, trying to figure out exactly what he felt. It was strong, if nothing else. This place tugged on inner strings that connected him to the first Arthur, the start of the cycle.

  “I know you get mad at planets, but don’t break this one, okay?” Ari thumped him twice.

  “That was a moon!” he cried weakly.

  “Well, Lionel has a delightful new reputation of incensing Mercer,” Ari said, looking no small part proud. “Almost like home.”

  Merlin followed her across the sands, taking stock of what he knew about this universe. First, Mercer was the bad guy, obviously, run by an ominous figurehead known as the Administrator. He was so ominous, in fact, that Ari had caught Merlin chuckling along with him to one of his infectious pop-up ads and taken away the device he’d been screening. Second, Ari’s home planet was called Ketch. Her people had badmouthed Mercer and were punished by an impenetrable barrier that kept everyone—including Ari—out. Merlin was no small part disappointed; it sounded like twenty-first-century buffoonery.

  Kay trudged beside Merlin, one hand cupped over the eye Ari had blackened in their fight over control of the ship. He resembled a low-budget pirate. Lam, who had been nothing but easygoing on Error, exhibited nerves as they neared the grand painted gates of the city, right before sweeping up a figure who leaned against the left gate. Lam clasped their equally beautiful brother in a tight hug that pulsed out a few groans.

  Ari wasn’t far behind. She and Val curtsied—which made them both laugh—and then Ari rammed into him with another punishing hug. Kay’s greeting made it clear the unnecessarily elaborate handshake had not died out. And then the one called Val came to the end of the line.

  Merlin held out his arms in a tight, tentative V. “Are we hugging?”

  Val laughed. “What have you brought with you?” he asked Ari, eyeing Merlin. “Is this a setup?”

  “What? No. What?” Merlin’s words were tiny, sharp cutouts of panic.

  “The stranger in robes doth protest too much,” Val said.

  “Shakespeare!” Merlin shouted, as if this were a tossed salad of embarrassment and quiz bowl.

  Val’s eyebrows inched up, lips quirking. Was he impressed? Amused? “I’m Val.”

  Merlin’s cycle-driven brain filled in the rest of that name with ease. Percival. Lamarack’s brother, and another of Arthur’s knights, peerless and loyal. Merlin was glad to have him in the mix. Although, him might not be the right word. Merlin didn’t want to make the same mistake he had with Lamarack. “Are you a young man or a young woman or… a fluid or…?”

  “A set or a non?” Val filled in smoothly. “The first one, for the most part. He/him is fine. You?”

  “The first one!” Merlin said, confident he’d gotten one thing right.

  “Well then, welcome to Lionel, young man,” Val said, his expression on the verge of laughter.

  Merlin couldn’t figure out what was so funny until he realized they were the same age. The idea stunned Merlin into studying Val more closely. He had Lam’s smooth dark skin, but instead of Lam’s dreadlocks, his tightly shaved black hair showcased the long line of his neck, the adorable protrusion of his ears. Merlin’s blood fizzed in a dangerous and unpredictable manner. It took him a moment to realize he was having his first run-in with teenage hormones.

  “This is the part where you tell me your name,” Val said, layering the words with a smile.

  “That’s Merlin,” Ari said, pulling Val’s focus and making Merlin eternally grateful. “Now that we’re all such good friends…”

  Val put up a stop-before-you-hurt-yourself hand. “I know Mercer is after you, Ari. Do you honestly think that I work for the queen of this planet without knowing who is and isn’t wanted by that vile corporation?” He pointed to a sign behind him, just inside the gates, hand-splashed with red lettering. ABSOLUTELY NO MERCER GOODS ON PREMISES.

  “And I know you think you need to rescue me, but I can’t run off and leave Lionel.” Val rubbed his eyebrows. “I have a rare and exotic disease called a job. I know none of you’ve experienced that, so let me break it down. One of the symptoms of having a job is that I have to stay on the planet where the job is. Speaking of, I have an important tournament to work. I should send you back to Error, but you can stay. Just don’t tell the queen I said that.”

  Merlin could tell from the way Ari nodded that she already had ideas about how to pry Val from the face of this planet.

  Textbook Arthur.

  Merlin followed everyone through the gates, not unhappy to stay. Step two—train Arthur—would have better results on a medieval planet than a miniature spaceship. He needed Ari to embrace her destiny. Though after what he’d just been through, embracing seemed like a tall order. He would settle for an awkward handshake with destiny.

  They wove around women who sold things to the incoming crowds. Corsets pushed their bosoms halfway to their chins, roses and daggers tucked into significant cleavage. “Nice robes,” one said in a husky tone, and Merlin perked with delight. “You order those special?”

  “They were made by the enchanted spiders of the Near Woods,” Merlin said.

  “Good for you,” the woman said, tossing him a free map and a package of nuts. Merlin didn’t recognize the half-moon shape, but they were browned and buttery. He ate them in handfuls as they reached a market lined with open-faced shops. The wind whipped from a new direction, bringing the tantalizing aromas of roasting meat, tangy mead, and spiced stews.

  Best of all, a castle hewn from Lionel’s tan stone sat at the far end of the market, swiped from one of Merlin’s most nostalgic daydreams. And yet, as he studied the structure, he found it different from traditional castles. The framework of the towers and crenellations seemed to be metallic. The moat sloshed with a dark, queasy liquid—definitely not water. But the magician’s old heart perked nonetheless. Merlin wanted to know who lived in that castle. He might be on step two of the cycle, but that didn’t stop step three from pushing its way into his thoughts.

  Nudge Arthur onto the nearest throne.

  “Ari,” he said, “do you happen to know who rules this planet?”

  She shrugged. “Some queen they bring out on a palanquin. She’s older than the sun.”

  “Not anymore,” Lam said. “Val got a promotion when the new monarch took the throne.”

  “Who is it?” Kay asked, tipping a paper cone to pour roasted nuts into his mouth.

  “You don’t know?” Lam asked.

  Kay crunched the nuts and shook his head.

  “We’ve been a little busy hiding out to keep up with planetary politics,” Ari said.

  “You really don’t know who the queen is?” Val asked. “Ohhhh, this is going to be fun.”

  Lam braced their hand on Ari’s shoulder. “I’m putting her out of her misery. It’s Gwen.”

  Merlin wished that Lam was holding him up. The weight of the past poured down on him, maki
ng it hard to breathe. His thoughts swam away, as if trying to escape that name—an emergency evacuation of sorts.

  “My old girl?” Kay said whimsically, surprising Merlin out of his panic.

  “Your girl?” he blustered.

  “He asked her out once during knight camp,” Lam added. “Not successfully. But it’s hard to let go of the past.” Merlin knew that all too well. He was the poster boy of knowing that. Ari’s expression dragged him away from self-pity. She wasn’t chewing her bottom lip; she was eating it. Lam noticed as well. “Ari and Gwen never did get on well. Talk about sparring, their verbal duels were majestic in intensity.”

  “We worked it out,” Ari said, her voice cramped and odd. “No big deal.”

  “Personally, I love when Ari tries to lie,” Kay interjected. “It’s like watching a dog bite its own tail.”

  “Gwen,” Merlin tried, in a last-ditch effort to avoid the worst of the cycle’s pain. “Gwen… eth? Gwen… dolyn?”

  “Gweneviere,” Val said. “Queen Gweneviere.”

  “That’s right up your game, huh, magician?” Kay asked, delighted. He turned to Val. “Is she in the market for a consort? I’ll bet marrying Gwen would get Mercer off our back.”

  Val laughed heartily. “Oh, yes, Kay, do place yourself in the running. The sign-up for consideration is right over there.” He pointed to the tournament ring. “All you’ll have to do is defeat the queen’s champion—who has destroyed a hundred and seventeen contenders to date—but I bet you’re up for it. Tell me, how did you get that black eye?” Val winked in Ari’s direction, as if he knew her handiwork a mile away.

  Trumpets bayed, and a uniformed person announced that the tournament would begin in three hours’ time.

  “Three hours?” Kay cried. “We can’t wait around that long. Mercer will eventually catch up to us. What are we going to do? Challenge them to a duel?”

  “That’ll be short enough,” Ari said breezily. “You and Lam failed knight camp, what, four summers in a row?”

  Merlin’s hopes scattered like a cone of perfectly roasted nuts in the mud. “They failed?”