Trials and Tribulations of Online Dating

by Louisa Masters

  “No, but I was already having trouble staying awake. God, Levi, he was so boring! At one stage he was actually explaining to me why forks have four tines!” Levi choked on a mouthful of beer, and she took a swallow of her own, waiting for him to stop laughing.

  “Yeah, you can laugh, you weren’t there. I skipped dessert, for God’s sake, just to get it over with.” She laughed reluctantly. “It was such a waste of time.”

  Levi put his bottle down. “Hey now, it’s only wasted if you got nothing out of it. It’s a good thing that he was boring and not worth another date; it means that you’ve narrowed the field.”

  She took another swallow. He was right, and she told him so. He grinned. “Of course I am. The best thing to do now is forget him. Wanna watch a movie?”

  “Yeah, sure.” It would keep her up a little later than usual for a weeknight, but chances were she’d fall asleep before it finished anyway and end up staying the night. She headed for the cabinet where she knew Levi kept her favorite chocolate. Since she’d skipped dessert, she deserved it. She grabbed some extra for him, too, and turned around to see his raised eyebrow.

  “Oh, you’re sharing tonight, are you?” he asked. Sam stuck her tongue out at him and laughed.

  “Only if you let me pick the movie.”

  He sighed and rolled his eyes as he motioned for her to lead the way to the living room. “Fine. But only because you had a bad date. Next time, I pick.”

  She wanted to pat his cheek as she passed him, but her hands were full of chocolate and beer, so she winked instead. “You keep telling yourself that.”

  They settled on the sofa with their snacks, and Sam quickly chose a movie she knew they could both live with. It probably didn’t matter, anyway. Most of the time when they watched movies together at home, they ended up either talking or sleeping—or getting… distracted.

  Not ten minutes later, Sam nudged Levi. He turned to look at her. “What?”

  “Have you found a present for your dad’s birthday?”

  He groaned. “Don’t remind me. It’s driving me insane. What do you buy a man who’s perfectly content in his life? Every time I ask him what he wants, he smiles and says it’s enough for me to celebrate his birthday with him.”

  “He loves you,” Sam said, giving him another piece of her chocolate. “You know he means that, too. He’d be perfectly happy if you turned up without a present.” She didn’t have that with her parents, not really. Oh, if she weren’t able to afford birthday gifts for them, they’d understand, and certainly not make her feel bad, but they weren’t demonstrative, weren’t affectionate. She knew they loved her, but it was a more distant love than what Levi had with his parents, or even Leona with hers. In fact, both Levi’s and Leona’s parents were more open in their affection for her than her own parents.

  Levi sighed, and she watched him struggle with what he wanted to say. “That’s why his gift needs to be right. You know what he’s done for me, how hard he worked to help me pay for school”—Levi was a lawyer, specializing in contracts law, something Sam had thought to be deadly boring until she’d seen how passionate he got about his work—“and he’s never let me pay him back, even a little bit. He always came to every school and sporting event, always had time to help with homework, or play sports, or… whatever. He says I’ll pay him back when he’s old and can’t take care of himself, but that’s not enough. I just….” He sighed again, this time more resigned than frustrated. “I know he wants grandkids, but I’m not at that place in my life yet. I’ll just have to keep looking for the perfect gift.”

  Sam giggled. “Can you imagine turning up to the party and saying, ‘Happy birthday, Dad! You’re going to love your present—I knocked some girl up!’”

  Levi laughed, a genuine sound, and Sam’s heart lightened. She knew Levi admired his father more than any other person and aspired to be a similar role model to his own children when the time came. Truthfully, she couldn’t imagine anyone who would be a better father than Levi. He didn’t see it, but he shared many of his father’s personality traits and was a man to be admired.

  He snitched another piece of chocolate and broke it in half, handing her some. “I might hold off on that one for now.” He winked and settled back. “What did you get him?”

  “Actually, I haven’t yet,” she admitted, and his eyes widened.

  “What? SuperSam, the queen of organized gift purchasing, hasn’t bought a present for a party only five days away? I’m shocked,” he joked, but there was a hint of actual surprise in his voice.

  “I know.” She groaned. “I’ve been shopping for it about five times, and each time I come home empty-handed. I’ll think I’ve found the right gift, but then it’s just a little bit… not right. I’ll get there, though, if it kills me.”

  “I have no doubt you will. If you see anything in your search that would be perfect from me, grab it for me, will you?”

  She sniffed. “Maybe.”

  “That means yes,” he said smugly, and reached for the chocolate between them. When he came up empty, he frowned. “Did you eat all the chocolate?”

  She scowled at him, fondness and mild irritation combining. “No, because I was sharing it with you. If I’d eaten it all, you wouldn’t have gotten any.”

  “That is true,” he said consideringly. “But it doesn’t change the fact that there’s none left.” His gaze met hers, and suddenly the air between them was charged. “C’mere, I’m hungry.”

  She knew what that meant, and a tingle ran down her spine. Slowly, she shook her head and eased off the couch. No way was she just crawling into his lap. She had something a little more… energetic in mind.

  “Why don’t I go get you some more chocolate?” she asked sweetly, edging toward the kitchen as he stood. “Or I could make you a sandwich, although it’s a little late for that.”

  “Nope,” he said, following her, his gait somehow different, more… predatory. She entered the kitchen and dashed around to the other side of the table. He propped himself in the doorframe and smirked. “Really? We’re playing this game? Should I pretend to be the master and you the parlor maid?”

  Sam laughed. “I guess not. Not this time, anyway.” She crossed the kitchen to him, and he reached out and hooked his hand around her neck, tugging her forward for a kiss, then grasped her hips and lifted her, walking her back to the table and planting her on it. Thank God I wore a skirt. Sam opened her legs and pulled her skirt up as Levi grabbed a chair, and then she lay back, propped on her elbows, as he tugged her to the edge of the table. He slid his hands up her legs, leaving a trail of goose bumps, and Sam shivered, instantly wet, anticipation coursing through her. He looked up and met her gaze, his thumb stroking over her clit through her panties.

  “Cold?” he asked her, smirking.

  “No,” Sam denied, and then shivered again when he pressed down with his thumb.

  “Are you sure?” His mock solicitation had her sitting up and reaching out to grab his ear.

  “Levi!” He ducked her grasp and laughed, then yanked off her panties.

  “Greedy,” he chided, and leaning forward he laved her navel, causing her stomach muscles to spasm wildly. He licked his way down her abdomen, and she shivered as his breath fanned across her skin. He paused.

  “Levi....” This time it was a moan. If she hadn’t been so desperate for his mouth, she could have strangled him. Then his hand was on her knee, pushing her legs open wider, and his mouth was there, hot, wet, open, dragging over her clit, his tongue stroking up her slit. She knotted her hands in his hair, dragging him harder against her as he lapped at her. The combination of his tongue and his teeth sent her wild, a keening sound bursting from her lips before she could help herself. Her hips bucked uncontrollably in his grasp. He licked a path up her slit, and this time his fingers followed, teasing their way toward her cunt, and then sliding smoothly inside. Her inner
muscles, until now starved for attention, instantly clamped down and spasmed around him as he continued to lavish attention on her with his mouth. As he played with her, she felt an orgasm building again, and she pulled herself upright and grabbed his hair.

  “Inside now,” she gasped, and he gave her one final lick before he went to dig through his junk drawer for a condom. It seemed to take forever, and Sam slid her hand down her body, playing her fingers over her clit and then inside. Falling back onto the table, eyes closed, she arched her back as she strummed her thumb over the tiny nub.

  “God,” she heard Levi gasp, and opened her eyes to see him staring at her, a dark flush on his cheekbones. “Love watching you do that, Sammy. Make yourself come.”

  She closed her eyes again and shook her head, even as she pumped her fingers. “No, I want your cock.” She pressed up with her fingers, finding that spongy spot, and cried out, “Levi, now!”

  She heard the crinkle of foil and then Levi was there, his big body covering hers, his dick rubbing against her. She pulled her fingers out, opened her eyes to see him watching her, and stroked his thigh. He grabbed her hand, lifted it to his mouth and sucked her fingers, his tongue dancing around each one, and she moaned again.

  “Hurry. The fuck. Up.”

  He chuckled, the sound broken by his harsh breathing, and then his cock was pressing into her, sliding in, filling her, stretching her. For a long moment he was still, but she knew what was coming, felt herself getting wetter in anticipation, and then he withdrew and drove back into her, setting up a hard, fast rhythm that catapulted her instantly over the edge.

  Chapter Three

  “So, tell me about yourself, Samantha Elizabeth Hasting.” It was a crappy opening line. What was with using her full name? But Sam could appreciate the sentiment, especially when it came from a good-looking man who so far didn’t seem boring.

  “Well, I’m twenty-eight and I work as a marketing assistant. I—” She broke off as something brushed against her ankle. What the...? She shook her head slightly and continued. “I’ve been working for the same company for five years, and I love it.” Shit, that was definitely a foot rubbing up her calf. Sam drew her legs back, tucking them under her chair. “Excuse me, please.” She stood and made her way to the ladies’ room. What the hell was she going to do? He seemed like such a great guy, but a first date was way too soon to be playing footsie under the table.

  She washed her hands and freshened her lipstick. She’d go back to the table, and if he tried it again, she’d be straight-up honest, tell him he’d crossed a line, and end the date.

  Sam headed back to their table and settled into her seat. She tried a tentative smile. “Sorry about that. Um, you were saying before that you like golf... do you play often? I tried to learn once, and it was a disaster.”

  He grinned. “A lot of people say that. When I first learned, it took me ages to even be able to hit the ball. One time, the club went flying out of my hands and nearly smacked someone in the head. The worst part was, it went further than the ball.”

  They laughed, and Sam noted with relief that he was keeping his feet to himself. He launched into another golfing story, something that had the potential to be deadly boring, but he had a dry, self-deprecating sense of humor and kept her laughing.

  It was over two hours later, after a great meal, dessert, a bottle of wine, and a lot of laughter that they left the restaurant. Sam was riding a wave of excitement. A good-looking, intelligent, funny, nice man, a great first date—this was what she’d been hoping for!

  He walked her to her car and they stood talking for a few minutes. Finally, Sam smiled and said, “Well, I have to work tomorrow, so....”

  He nodded and smiled back. “Sure. My place or yours?”

  Sam blinked. What the...? “Um... what do you mean?” Surely he didn’t think....

  “Are we going back to my place or yours?” He tipped his head to the side inquiringly, as if she should have gotten his meaning already.

  “Well, I’m going to my place... I’d assume you’re going to yours.” She tried to laugh it off, starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

  “It’ll be kind of hard for us to have sex if we’re in different places. Unless you wanna try phone sex, but I usually prefer the real thing the first time.”

  Right. Sam’s stomach sank.

  “We’re not having sex,” she said firmly. He laughed.

  “Of course we are. That’s what we’re both here for.”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m here for a first date, not for sex.”

  His face contorted, and Sam felt a frisson of nervousness. “Listen, bitch, if you think this whole night has been about a first date, then you’re just stupid. You signed up for online dating, you knew what you were doing—”

  Sam blocked out his words as she scrambled into her car and slammed the door, locking it immediately. Her now pissed-off date was still talking when she started the car and peeled out of the parking lot.

  # # #

  Wearing her pajamas and holding a tub of ice cream, Sam opened the door to Levi.

  “Hi.”

  “Hey. What’s wrong? You sounded really down on the phone.” He shut the door behind him and took the ice cream from her.

  “Gimme that back.” She grabbed for the carton. “I just had the worst best date ever.”

  “Oh.” Levi slung his arm around her and drew her down the hall to the bedroom. “Another boring guy?”

  “No, this one seemed great. Interesting. Funny. Made me laugh a lot.” She scooped up some ice cream, and then offered him the spoon. He scraped up the last of it, then stuck the spoon in the carton and put it on her bedside table.

  “So what was the problem?” He sat on the side of her bed and pulled her down beside him, cuddling her to him. She curled up and laid her head on his shoulder.

  “He thought that online dating meant instant sex, and he got nasty when I said no.”

  Levi straightened. “What? Did he touch you? Are you—”

  “I’m fine. He didn’t touch me, just got mouthy. I’m more upset because it was such a great date up until then. Now I’m just depressed, because this is the second guy who turned out to be a dud, and there are only two left.”

  Levi lay back on her bed, hauling her up to lie with him. “So, you’ve got a 50 percent fail rate. These next two guys are probably going to be great. You’ll have awesome first dates, then great second dates, and the problem will be choosing between them. In six months you’ll be moving in together, and in a year you’ll be announcing an engagement. I’ll need to go shopping for the perfect wedding gift. Maybe when I find it, I’ll finally find the right gift for my dad’s birthday. Now close your eyes and get some rest.” He tugged the quilt over them and flipped off the lamp, cuddling her close.

  Chapter Four

  Sam stared blankly into the store window, barely seeing the artfully arranged display. She’d taken the afternoon off from work especially to shop for Levi’s dad’s birthday present, since her evenings were mostly filled with dates this week. Tom Matthewson was definitely worth it, but the right gift was just not showing itself this year. Or at least, it hadn’t been until she’d seen the early Father’s Day display in the camera store window. The backdrop of blown-up photos of fathers with their kids had sparked something in the back of her mind.

  He always came to every school and sporting event, always had time to help with homework, or play sports….

  Levi’s words echoed in her head, and she grabbed for her phone, a crazy grin stretching her mouth. She called Levi, hoping he wasn’t in a meeting.

  “Hey, Sam.” His greeting was casual, not hushed or distracted as it would be if he were occupied.

  “Did you find a present for your dad yet?”

  “I’m well, thanks. And no, not yet. I was going to try shopping again tonight.�
�

  “I have this idea. It might be brilliant, or you might hate it.”

  He chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I won’t hate it. Exactly. What is it? Expensive? You know that’s not an issue.”

  “No, not really expensive, but it does need an investment of time, and because it’s only a few days to go, that time has to be today. Now.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.” Sam was already on her way to her car. The more she thought about it, the more she knew Levi—and Tom—would love this idea.

  “What is it?”

  She told him. And was met with silence.

  “I’ll do it with you,” she added. “It can be from both of us. But we have to do it today. We can rush the order and get it back in time, but I have a date tonight, so we need to do it this afternoon.”

  She heard muffled voices and knew he’d covered the phone, probably while he spoke to his secretary. A moment later, he came back on the line.

  “My afternoon is cleared. I’ll meet you at my parents’ house.”

  # # #

  Later that night, Sam paced her living room in her pajamas as she waited for Leona to answer the phone. Finally, the ringing stopped.

  “Hello?” Leona said sleepily.

  “I just had the best date ever. Seriously. Nobody has ever had a date better than this one.”

  “Sam? What time is it?”

  “Who cares? I’m telling you, my date tonight kicked ass!”

  “Sam, it’s after midnight. On a Wednesday.”

  “I know. I just got home ten minutes ago, and this couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

  She heard Leona sigh, and then some rustling. “Okay. Tell me why this date was so awesome.”

  She flopped down on the couch and put her feet up. “Well, to start with, he was nice. Easy to talk to. We talked nonstop, and he was funny. He’s interesting, and he was really upfront about being into me. He’s attractive, and really sexy—he’s got this amazing voice—and I didn’t even notice the bar was closing until they asked us to leave. I was a bit worried he’d be creepy like Sleaze-o was, but he was totally cool, walked me to my car, asked for another date, said he’d call me. I’m seeing him again next week. He wanted to make it Saturday, but it’s Levi’s dad’s birthday.”