The Courtesan Duchess

by Joanna Shupe

  “I am so glad you are here,” Angela whispered, squeezing back. “I have not had any friends near my own age in many years. It’s been rather lonely, in fact. It would mean everything to me if you could forget what you’ve heard and . . . please give me a chance to be your friend.”

  “Of course!” Julia exclaimed. “I should like that very much, Angela.”

  Angela visibly relaxed. “Good.” She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “Now, how do you feel today?”

  “Better, thank you. Every day, less and less nauseated.” While Angela knew the baby was Nick’s, Julia hadn’t divulged the circumstances by which she’d gotten with child. She didn’t plan on revealing that to anyone . . . ever.

  “Well, since you’re feeling better, perhaps you care to join me on my morning walks. I don’t travel far and it would be nice to have company.”

  Julia nodded at Angela. “I’d love to. The fresh air and exercise will do me a world of good.”

  “Excellent! I have to ask again—are you certain you wouldn’t rather I move out to the dower house? I feel awkward staying here, when it rightfully belongs to you. The dower house isn’t far, and we could still see each other.”

  “Heavens, no,” Julia answered. “The house is large enough for the three of us. I daresay we could invite thirty more guests and never bump into one another except at meals.”

  “Oh, thank you. I am so grateful. After being here with the dowager duchess for so many years, I find myself starved for talk of parties and fashion . . . and scandals that do not involve myself.”

  “Well, Theo is certainly an expert on all of that.” Julia chuckled. “So you no longer have family of your own?”

  “No. My mother died a few months after Harry. My father was killed in a carriage accident when I was small, and I never had any brothers or sisters.”

  “That sounds familiar,” Julia murmured. “Except for Theo, I have no family left.”

  “You have the duke,” Angela said, as if such information should be a comfort.

  Julia made a noncommittal sound and stared at the pianoforte. She didn’t want to discuss her husband. Her heart was still too raw, her anger at his mistrust too fresh.

  They sat in silence for a long moment. Then Angela asked, “Will he come and visit you, do you think?”

  Julia could hear a note of something in Angela’s voice but couldn’t quite place it. Hope? Eagerness? Fear? “I honestly do not know.”

  “Well, Theo and I can keep you amused in the meantime.” Angela stood. “I believe I’ll spend some time in front of the pianoforte. I’ll see you this afternoon, Your Grace.”

  “Please, call me Julia. We are sisters-in-law, after all.”

  Angela grinned. “Thank you, Julia.”

  With a wave of farewell, Julia took her leave and continued her wanderings about the Hall. Something about the conversation with Angela left her a bit uneasy. Did Angela have designs on Nick? If they truly had been intimate at one time, she may be eager to renew the affair. So would Nick refuse her? Better not to know the answer to that question.

  A month went by, and Julia had to accept that Nick wasn’t coming to visit her. He hadn’t written, either. There’d been no word from him of any kind since the terse exchange in London. Once again, she’d been left to fend for herself.

  Only, she wasn’t exactly alone. A precious little life now grew inside her. Nick’s baby. Some days, Julia could scarcely believe that in a few short months, she would be a mother.

  In the last two weeks, the sickness had begun to abate. Now she felt ill only first thing in the morning, before she filled her stomach. The remainder of the day Julia found herself constantly hungry, eating everything in sight. Instead of hanging off her frame, her dresses were finally becoming snug.

  Julia and Angela had taken to walking together each morning. Aunt Theo refused to join them, saying there was only so much nature an old woman could take.

  The two young women talked easily as they tramped about the estate. The vastness of the Seaton property amazed Julia. There were endless hills and fields, spectacular gardens, a dense forest, and the River Wensum even ran through at one point. She could almost imagine Nick as a precocious little black-haired boy, running all about and causing trouble.

  This particular morning, Angela suggested they walk through the forest, on a path that led from the pond out to the dower house. They set off, wearing multiple petticoats and heavy pelisses to ward off the April chill. The fog had swept in the previous night and one couldn’t see far into the distance, but this was a path they’d taken a few times before.

  Angela chattered on incessantly and Julia found herself listening with half an ear. The grounds were lovely, fresh grass sprinkled with delicate purple, white, and yellow crocuses. Regardless of how she felt about her husband, one could not deny the beauty of the ducal family seat. The last time Julia visited, she’d been treated as an interloper. An outcast. This time she was the lady of the house. Everyone deferred to her in Colton’s absence, and no one contradicted her wishes here. And likely there never would be, since her husband clearly had no plans to visit.

  They trudged deeper into the forest, where the birds and insects echoed loudly in the morning stillness. Here, the ground sloped dramatically alongside the narrow path. Due to the sparse light under the dense canopy of trees, the leaves and moss remained slippery, forcing Julia to pick her way carefully along the path.

  She wondered again how Nick was spending his time in London. Pride kept her from writing him or anyone else to ask. She’d written to Sophie, but only to tell her friend of her extended stay at Seaton Hall. Sophie had replied with plans for a visit, but no news of the duke.

  Had he a mistress? Seemed likely, as the idea of the Depraved Duke remaining celibate was laughable at best.

  She told herself she was still angry with him and therefore didn’t care if he bedded other women. And yet, she did. Quite a lot. The memory of his clever hands and hot mouth haunted her. Her body, lush and ripe with pregnancy, remembered him, ached for him in the lonely darkness of her chamber.

  Not to mention her foolish heart, which refused to let go of the tender memories from their glorious week together in Venice. The way he’d smiled at her. His laugh. How he’d made her feel like the most beautiful, most desirable woman in the world. Had she been mad to believe he’d felt more than lust for her?

  “Don’t you think, Julia?” Angela asked, breaking into Julia’s reverie.

  “I beg your pardon. What did you ask?” Julia tripped over a stone and winced. “I was not paying attention.”

  “Obviously.” Angela chuckled and moved ahead to step over a root lying on the path. “I suggested the nursery be redecorated. Perhaps—”

  As Julia stepped over the root, she must have misjudged its placement because her toe caught and she lost her balance. Instead of righting, she pitched sideways, the ground shifting beneath her feet, and she fell—only to slide in the wet leaves and grass along the steep embankment. Before she could find purchase, Julia felt herself tumble down the side of the slope.

  “Angela!” she screamed as she clawed at the dense underbrush. But everything was too slick to grasp, and her horror mounted.

  She rolled and bounced toward the bottom of the embankment, her hands covering her belly to protect the babe in the tumultuous descent. Her leg snagged on a branch, followed by a sharp bite of pain in her ankle.

  Then her head collided with a tree trunk, and a burst of agony exploded in her skull before everything went black.

  The light hurt her eyes. Julia closed her lids tightly and struggled to remember. Heavens, her head ached along with her ankle. She moved her hands, touching leaves, sticks, and grass. Yes, she’d tripped and fallen along the steep part of the forest path. So where was Angela?

  Taking a few steadying breaths, she cracked her lids and saw no one about. Perhaps Angela had gone to fetch help. Julia gingerly tested her limbs to assess the extent of her injuries. She was b
etter off than she feared. Other than her ankle and a nasty headache, she could likely climb to the path. There was no sense in waiting for someone to come drag her up.

  Carefully, she crawled toward the path, using roots and fallen branches to assist her. The ground was slick and a few times she slid down a short distance until she could find footing enough to keep climbing. Her sore ankle hampered her some, but sheer will got her back up to the path. Once on level ground, she located a tall, thick branch to serve as a walking stick and used it to make her way back to the hall.

  It felt like hours, and she nearly dropped in exhaustion by the time she entered the house. Gasping for breath, she allowed the butler to bring a chair over just inside the door. He then sent a footman to fetch the physician from the village.

  Just then, Angela came around the corner, Theo and another footman right behind her. The three of them stopped in their tracks when they saw Julia, dirty and bedraggled, on a chair in the entryway.

  “Julia!” Angela flew to her side, relief etched on her face. “I raced back to the house to get help. I didn’t know what else to do. How badly are you hurt?”

  “John, carry Her Grace up the stairs,” Theo ordered. “Angela, send for the doctor and then ask the cook for something to eat. I’ll fetch the brandy.”

  “Doctor’s already been sent for,” Julia said wearily as the footman lifted her out of the chair. “And I do not need food. Just help me upstairs.”

  Soon Julia found herself tucked in bed, surrounded by pillows and a room full of worried faces.

  “I am fine,” she told them. Theo and Angela sat on the end of her bed, their brows creased with concern. “Really, I’m fine. I have a headache and my ankle hurts like the blazes. But I shall live.”

  “But what about the baby?” Angela asked in a panicked, hushed tone. “Heavens, I’ll feel wretched if something happens to your baby. I never should have taken you out on that path today. It was too misty and wet.”

  “Hush, girl,” Theo snapped. “It’s not your fault and we won’t know about the baby until the doctor gets here. No sense in making anyone hysterical.”

  Julia took another sip of brandy. “I’m merely tired. I feel as if I could sleep for days.” As if to prove it, she yawned.

  “Do not sleep,” Theo told her. “Not until the doctor gets here and has a chance to look you over.”

  The doctor arrived half an hour later. A nice, older man, he took his time examining her. He was gentle and respectful, and talked the whole time both to relax her and keep her awake.

  When he finished, Theo and Angela came back into her room to hear the results.

  “Her Grace has a slight concussion, which should resolve itself in a few days with some rest. I’ll leave laudanum for the pain, but I would advise against using it unless absolutely necessary. The ankle is sprained and should be elevated for a few days. In a week or so, Your Grace should be fine.”

  He cleared his throat. “With regards to the babe, I couldn’t say whether Your Grace will lose it or not. Falls have been known to precipitate a miscarriage. So if Your Grace does not begin bleeding in the next day or so, I’d say it likely the pregnancy will keep. However, if Your Grace begins cramping or bleeding, send for the midwife. I am happy to come as well, but Mrs. Popper has plenty of experience when it comes to both losing and birthing babies. She might be able to give you something to help stop the process.”

  The room fell silent. Falls have been known to precipitate a miscarriage. The words rang in Julia’s ears. Her chest constricted, every bit as painful as her ankle.

  Angela showed the doctor out while Theo came over to sit on Julia’s bed. “Do not cry, my dear,” her aunt said, and stroked Julia’s hair. “Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

  “But you don’t know that,” Julia whispered, tears now falling in earnest. “No one knows. Oh, Theo. What will I do if I lose this baby? I shall never forgive myself.” A sob escaped from her chest, and Theo’s arms enveloped her.

  “Shhhhh, it is not your fault. It was an accident. Nothing more.” Her aunt rubbed her back, rocking her, as Julia cried and cried.

  “That is enough,” Theo finally told her. Her aunt gently forced her back on the pillows. “You will lose the baby if you do not save your strength. Be strong, Julia. That little one needs you. Crying and carrying on won’t help—but getting some rest and eating will.”

  Julia dried her eyes with the edge of her coverlet. “You’re right. I must force myself to stay calm and get well.”

  “Sleep, my dear. I’ll return to check on you in a little bit.”

  That day and night were foggy. Sore and tired, all Julia wanted to do was sleep. Theo came in every few hours to check on her, waking her to give her food and drink when necessary. She helped Julia relieve herself, which caused Julia no end of embarrassment. But Theo was so matter-of-fact about it that Julia was grateful.

  In the morning, she slept late but felt remarkably better. As of yet, she had no bleeding or cramping—a very good sign all would be well with the babe. She planned to follow the doctor’s advice while doing her best not to worry. Theo was right: Julia needed to save her strength.

  After breakfast, Theo brought a few old copies of La Belle Assemblée for them to read while Julia remained in bed. Then Angela visited for a short while in the afternoon to give Theo a break.

  “I do not require constant supervision,” Julia told her sister-in-law. “You and Theo should enjoy the day, not sit here with me. Go.” She motioned to the door. “Besides, I want to nap.”

  Convinced Julia told the truth, Angela left. Julia snuggled down in her pillows and went back to sleep.

  The rest of the day was spent much in the same manner, resting and assuring the two other women of her improved condition.

  Meg had just taken away her dinner tray when the outer door burst open.

  Her husband, looking as haggard and disheveled as Julia had ever seen him, flew into the room. At least a day’s worth of stubble peppered his jaw, and his eyes were rimmed red and surrounded by dark circles. Cravat askew, his rumpled clothing was covered with dust from the road.

  Mouth agape, Julia blurted, “Colton! Whatever are you doing here?”

  He cleared his throat and clasped his hands behind his back. “One of the footmen brought news of your accident, madam. I wanted to assess the extent of your injuries for myself.”

  Had he been . . . worried about her? He must have ridden like the devil to make it here this quickly. Joy blossomed in Julia’s chest, and she tried not to smile.

  “Tell me what happened. You were walking in the woods? Were you alone?”

  She shook her head. “No. Lady Lambert was with me.”

  “And you tripped?”

  “Yes, on an exposed root. I must have misjudged the distance. Then I could not catch my balance and tumbled down an embankment. But I am fine, really. A slight concussion and a twisted ankle, both mending nicely since Theo won’t let me out of bed.”

  “And the babe?”

  She paused, searching Nick’s eyes to find some emotion other than concern. Hope? She noticed he didn’t say my babe but rather the babe. Had he hoped she would miscarry?

  God in heaven, that must be why he had raced to her side. The joy she experienced only a moment ago withered like a flower in the hot sun. He’d rushed here in hopes she would lose the baby, offering a tidy solution to all his problems.

  She took a deep breath, fighting the despair weighing on her heart. The situation was futile. She would never change his mind. Nick would never believe her or accept their child. “I am sorry to disappoint you, husband,” she said softly, “but I did not lose the babe. At least, not yet.”

  He frowned. “Regardless of how I feel about the child, I do not wish you harm, Julia.”

  Julia couldn’t bring herself to answer. A miscarriage would harm her. She would never recover from it. Her body, yes; but there would never be a child conceived under similar circumstances, with such passion
and affection. Now existed only cold mistrust between them, and Julia had not the energy for the battle any longer.

  She turned her head, averted her gaze, and willed him to go away.

  After a moment, he sighed. “I plan to stay a few days, until you are back on your feet,” he told her quietly. “When I return to London, Fitz will remain here to watch over you.”

  Her gaze snapped to his. “I hardly think a guard necessary, Colton. I merely stumbled.”

  “I am not so sure. And until I am, Fitz stays.” He gestured to the small chamber she had appropriated upon arriving almost two months ago. “Why are you not in the duchess’s chambers?”

  Julia shrugged. “Angela appropriated those rooms when your mother died. I did not think it fair to ask her to move out. Besides, this room is sufficient enough for me.”

  Nick spun on his heel and strode to the door. “Fetch Lady Lambert at once,” he told a footman lingering in the hall.

  “Colton, really—” Julia began, only to stop when he held up a hand.

  “You are mistress of this house and deserve to be treated as such. Not to mention, you’ll sleep where I tell you to sleep.”

  “Not after eight years I won’t,” she tossed back. Did he honestly believe he could order her about after ignoring her for so long? “You cannot selectively choose when to exert your rights as a husband, Colton.”

  His lids dropped and he gave her a lazy, smug smile. “I think we both know I’d never need to resort to husbandly rights, Juliet.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Men like to offer protection, even when we do not need it. It is generally best to agree in order not to wound his ego.

  —Miss Pearl Kelly to the Duchess of Colton

  Julia gasped at the use of the name, which had certainly not been a slip of the tongue. Oh, if only she could wipe that smirk off his face. Just as she was about to tell him to go to the devil, the door opened.