Clem's Contrivance: Terrorist Fiction In The Deep South (The Apocalyptic Rifle Book 1)

by Ron Foster

  “Well that is quite an interesting fact Clem! I never gave much thought to that question but I imagine a lot of folks have. Thanks for telling me about that. I always thought they used pigments found in the earth and plants like the Indians did to come up with the first paint in the colonies.” David replied.

  “I see I got you thinking and questioning David, see you listen to me once in awhile you learn a whole lot that wasn’t taught in no schools. The belief that barn red originated with American Indians actually has some foundation. I have heard tell that some historical records indicate that in accordance with an old American Indian custom, farm stock blood was indeed mixed with milk and used for staining interior surfaces on homes and buildings. A pigment called “Indian Red” was made from clay mixed with whites of wild turkey eggs. Turkey blood was added to provide a deep mahogany shade. Stains using blood were not, however, suitable for outdoor use.” Clem said beaming a smile as much for himself remembering such trivia as besting Crick and David in a game of wits.

  “Now I suppose you want to know what pot socks are all about, well they a means and a way to make a little spare money as well as to make folks feel good. What you do I guess you could say these days is the best way is to get a Ziploc bag or something, fill it with some dirt and add a vegetable seed like lettuce to it and let it grow to be big enough to sell or give away. You just stick the plant and its container in a colorful fabric bag a you got you something to cheer a friend up, give them a house warming present, stick in their office or kitchen or whatever useful thing. See you can pick salads off the thing for weeks, just stick it on a sunny counter or windowsill and it keeps growing back so they enjoy watching and talking about this process as well as thinking about you positively many times a day. It makes them feel better because they experiencing nature as well as you giving them a bit more nutrition, you can make them things containing all kinds of different greens. I wants to sell everybody here their own lettuce to take care of; I will sell them cheap David. I ain`t trying to skin them, just gathering up as much loose change as I can and keeping me and Bertha making a nickel here and there.” Clem said and then agreed with David and Crick as they both realized why Clem was upset about Bertha using up fabric as well as time on making her mirror curtains.

  “Cool Idea Clem, I got some old clothes, towels and fabric you can have for nothing next time I am back at my house.” Crick offered.

  “Thanks Crick, but I got to still figure out who to get to sew them, anyway I worry about that later. You all got anything extra to eat around here?” Clem asked hoping Crick and David had got into some of their good commercially manufactured food preps...

  “We were just about to fix us something Clem so you’re in luck, but its boy’s night out over here so it just going to be a chicken sandwich or tortilla or it could also be however it turns out or we decide on making it.” David responded and held up a large can of chopped chicken meat like you get from Sam’s in a 4 pack.

  “Yum! That beats the hell out of cleaning and plucking a chicken and then doing the dishes after cooking it. Got any onions? I got some to spare and can go fetch one if not.” Clem said looking around for what David was going to use for bread or tortillas and eying Crick as he set a big cast iron skillet on the fire to heat.

  “What would you like tonight for your dinner Mr. Clem? I will tell you your options on the menu or the different ways we can prepare your meal sir as it were. The way I go about approaching this subject this evening is that anything can be wrapped in a pancake, which saves you and me from doing any dishes. If it resists being wrapped in a pancake, it’s probably a candidate for tomato sauce or could be we can maybe use up some ready-made sauces like barbecue and make ourselves a side dish of field greens separately.” David said offering Clem some of whatever delicacy it was they were dreaming up having. He kind of felt bad using up such precious canned goods in so simple of a dish but it was exactly what he wanted and was far better than any kind of camp food that most folks were still trying to acquire a taste for over at the chow hall. Game was scarce and bland boiled gamy something or another was about the best you could hope for at any given time and that kind of food got pretty monotonous. Besides, tonight he and Crick had planned on partying and polishing off the last of the Ancient age whisky and weren’t studying food with much interest a they were emptying the bottle.

  “Man I wish we had us some sour cream, I could make us some poppy seed chicken out of that can.” Clem said thinking about one of his favorite meals.

  “If you can come up with some or get Bertha and that cow hers in on the deal we will sneak off and have us all a hell of feast one night. That used to be one of my favorite comfort foods. I still got 8 cans of this left and I am willing to sacrifice whatever it takes if you can produce that dish.” David said wincing at the notion of how far better he and so called plantation staff ate because they had access to some preps versus the general mass of newly minted sharecroppers around here but what was a man going to do? David and Crick didn’t have a lot of preps and even trying to share one scanty meal with 50 people would of put a serious dent in what he had on hand so it was eat at the camp once in a while with the others for appearances sake and cook at home well away from the rest on the sly.

  “Tell Bertha that I want to try some of that Tincture of arnica on my back Clem, sleeping on the ground sucks at my age. Hell long term sleeping on hard ground sucks at any age.” David said getting ready to see if anyone was brave enough or stupid enough to let him try making a meat pie out of the chicken with some pancake mix on the campfire in a Dutch oven. Thinking better of the idea himself and saying yuck he finally decided to add some taco seasoning to the meat and started calling it taco night as they latter spooned up the meat and onions into folded up pancakes improvising for taco shells.

  8

  THE TRAVELERS ARRIVE

  “Looks like we got ourselves some more company coming this way Bertha. That lead RV coming down the road looks like Palmer and Marlissa’s , guess they got themselves out of town and are heading to the old factory.” Clem said as he arose from his seat to go great the newcomers

  “I think your right about who that is, they is a nice old couple and I am sure enough glad to see that they got themselves out of the city and into the country. Looks to me like they plan on surviving in style with them fancy trailer trucks they got.” Bertha said rising and adjusting her apron while going down the porch steps after Clem

  “Well then travelers, How you all doing this fine day? Sure is nice to see you all again.” Clem said as he helped Marlissa down from the RV and then shook Palmers hand.

  Nice to see you Clem! Hey there Miss Bertha, you are looking well today!” Palmer said as everyone exchanged various greetings and introductions.

  “You heading for the factory Palmer?” Clem inquired

  “Yea we are heading over that way in a bit. We are just now getting back from Florida. Went down to Panama City for a bit of fun and sun and found ourselves beating a hasty retreat back here through some of the most horrendous traffic and messed up roads I have ever seen. Looks like you got some of your own traffic to worry about here, what’s up with the tent city over there?” Palmer asked and then beamed a smile when he heard its occupants were the leftovers and survivors from Prepper Stock.

  “Ah hell we know a bunch of those folks then. Guess we will be staying around a bit longer than I expected Marlissa. Hey Clem is my place still standing and no problems have occurred I need to know about?” Palmer inquired

  “Yes the place is just as you left it, Boats fine also. I went over and checked on it a few days after them terrorists blew the dams. When we get time I need to talk to you about borrowing you and that tug of yours pretty soon for a project later, meantime you all come on up and sit on the porch a spell and tell us about your adventures.” Clem said and Bertha encouraged the others to do the same.

  “Not much to tell really, no gas, no stores open and bumper to bumper traffic snarls all over
the place with bunches of crazy whacked out drivers on the loose.” Marlissa said tiredly

  “What do you need with my tug boat? “Palmer asked.

  “I got me a big old barge that needs moving if you think that old boat of yours can handle the task. We can talk about that a bit. Can I offer you all some tea?” Clem asked

  “Sounds good, that old tug has a good motor in it still shouldn’t be a problem. How in the world are you feeding all those people Clem? Palmer responded distracted as he eyed all the separate campfires burning

  “Right now they are pretty much left up to feeding themselves by hunting, fishing and gathering until we can get some kind of crop to grow. Me and Bertha are back in the sharecropping business now my friend!” Clem said with a loud guffaw and explained the community’s arrangements.

  “Well Ill be damned! It sure is a strange world we are living in these days. Well hopefully those folks and us will be able to go back home someday but I think they were wise for staying here on the plantation.” Jimmy said.

  “It sure does put a different spin on things having a bunch of sharecropping preppers we know living up the road don’t it Marlissa?”” Nancy said smiling.

  “You bet it does!” Marlissa said smiling happily but warily.

  “Bertha do you think you will be able to put much of a crop in this year?” Marlissa said looking out over a partly plowed field.

  “The good Lord willing, we sure does need us a bountiful one. We short on seed and fertilizer but Clem said he was working on solving that.” Bertha said looking across the fallow fields worriedly.

  “Clem is a good farmer and trader; I know he has got himself some kind of scheme in mind to make all this work.” Palmer said looking in Clem’s direction.

  “Oh that I do, that I do, but I still got me some figuring to do.” Clem said then excused himself to go take care of something and advising everyone he would be back in a minute.

  9

  A STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND

  Game was getting pretty scarce around the plantation and David took a three man hunting party in his van over to a campground Crick had told him about that was about 6 miles from them to try their luck and have themselves a exploratory look around. The place was a small 23 space campsite affair the state ran on this side of the river that normally didn’t get a ton of visitors. This campground actually had itself a beach and didn’t sit up on high bluffs like the Army Corps of Engineer one that Prepper Stock had been held on this year and this place had been suggested as an alternative for next years event before the poo had hit the fan. Most of the park was woodland and sounded like a very good place for hunting and fishing camp to be set up. That is if nobody had bugged out to it already or the local hunters and fisherman hadn’t taken it over.

  They had entered the camps gates warily watching for signs of habitation and were a bit on edge when they saw the ticket counter at the reception area had been broken into but who ever had done it probably hadn’t found more than camping brochures and empty desks for their trouble.

  “I don’t know whether to park this vehicle and walk in or recon with the vehicle and haul ass at the first signs of danger.” David said contemplating the narrow paved roads ahead that snaked around the shore and campgrounds.

  “I say that we ride. If we see somebody or a car or truck at a distance we can get the hell out of dodge a lot easier in this thing than we can leaving the vehicle with all our supplies behind, besides we have no way of knowing what’s behind us or if that stuff would be safe with us traipsing around.” Teach said looking around. Teach wasn’t his real name, Karen, David and Neil had stuck that moniker on him because he had put a braid in his beard and had come in from a couple days in the woods foraging with sticks and pine needles in his hair and David had remarked he looked like the pirate Black Beard who was known to twist ribbons and slow burning fuses in his beard and hair to instill fear in his enemies when he boarded a prize ship. Teach’s goat like pointy beard was more reddish auburn with flecks of gray than black so although the mental picture fit, the name did not. David had greeted the man with “Hey Teach! And a pirate like utterance of ARRgh Matey and the nickname had stuck.

  Jamey was the vans rear view spotter and rode in the backward facing seat in the rear with the gear of the van to watch their back trail and told David if he would drive slow enough he thought it was a good idea to open the back hatch door of the van so he could not feel so confined and observe and respond better if they run into trouble.

  “ I say we bail and walk patrol, I just soon not be sitting in this thin skinned thing if we start taking fire from someone either scared or has murder on their mind.” Bohanson said evidently calling to mind his considerable Middle east sand box infantry experience after being in an armored MRAP vehicle.

  “That’s the bitch about doing this kind of shit Bohanson, we got ideas how a military operation should be run in a hot zone or neighborhood or village walk through should be handled but we got civilians, hunters, good old boys, rednnecks, creeps, boogas and just plain folks from everywhere that just got stranded to contend with. I tell you what. Let’s have us a light weight look see, you all bail and find you some cover not far from the van and I will just lay on the horn and see if anybody shows. I am tired of being scared of my own shadow or jumping if I hear voices or accents I don’t recognize.” David said exhibiting his own form of post traumatic stress that depended on whether or not he could overcome an obstacle or fear in a prescribed way or constantly had to wing it. There simply was no right or wrong answer in these days and times. He constantly warned everyone not to get on hair on a razor blade edge military edge and threaten everything and everybody with military mayhem if they moved wrong but on another note such a response was what many knew had served them well in the worst of times and not get complacent or too “loving” about a refugee or otherwise suddenly appearing that might just need a kind word or a bullet zinged in their close direction if they appeared to be a threat.

  “Better safe than sorry, pull this son of a bitch over David and at least let me piss first while you make up your minds what to do next. Man, my back teeth are floating!” Perkins said adding to the confusion but also breaking the tension in the air as everyone laughed about they had forgot their own bladders and getting out of the vehicle for a stretch in what at the moment seemed to be a deserted sandy section of road and woods sounded like the best logical idea to consider at the moment.

  The crews bailed out of the van with a sigh of relief into the crisp morning air but were careful to keep their eyes open and their weapons pointed at the woods and not talk overly loud as they relaxed for a small break from the ride over here and the unknown they faced ahead.

  “Distrust is an essential thing when living in this world we find ourselves in nowadays, hell I don’t even trust the sun to come up some days it seems.” David said stretching

  “Yea but like you said David you don’t want to wake up to a lifetime of bad memories and miseries caused by an inappropriate shot or adverse reaction to an innocent person. I know that Rossi Ross loves to play Indian girl and sneak up on you in the woods but I swear that child has no concept about what it does to someone when you half see her flitting through the woods out of the corner of your eye when you’re just sitting around camp. Man, that girl kinda creeps me out sometimes. My mind hollers insurgent and I start bringing my gun to bear in her direction even though I know her willow the wisp ways are as natural for her and unmeaning as a deer walking in the woods but you threatening to put bells on her ankles or a cowbell collar on her had a lot of merit to it in my mind.” Bohanson said, chuckling.

  “I agree, that girl is just like evaporating smoke and she has got me seeing her where she is not all the time. Hell, she could be one county over, Julie or Karen would remind me later and I would swear she was hiding behind a bush right in front of me that I been watching for an hour! Seems to me David when her antics started getting to him “Bohanson declared